Have you ever watched The View? It’s a popular daytime television show where 5 women discuss current events and all share their point of view. I don’t watch it often because there is inappropriate content for my children to hear and I disagree with most of their views so it just frustrates me (and I’m homeschooling during the time it airs) but from time to time they have guests that interest me and I’ll DVR it and watch it late at night. Many times I have sat on my couch talking to my television! I wish I could give my point of view!!!
So last week at Relevant, some of my roomies and I got together and decided we’d answer a reader’s marriage question using “The View” format. I wish we had fancy cameras, mics, lighting and an hour to discuss current events indepth according to the Christian Worldview – but alas – we are mom bloggers – so here is a very humble version! (and I’ll share a second one with you next week!)
(If you are unable to see this video click here.)
The ladies in this video from left to right are me 
, Peak 313, Time Warp Wife, Comfy In The Kitchen and The Better Mom.
For ladies caught in the middle, looking for more answers and encouragement – I invite you to read one of my archived posts titled “Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage.“
This is part two in a series of 10!
Be sure to visit these brilliant women during our 10 days adventure between November 7th-18th! I love these ladies and we know you will too.
10 days of Character Studies | Confessions of a Homeschooler
10 days of Christmas Countdown Ideas | Milk & Cookies
10 days of Creative Writing | Chocolate on My Cranium
10 days of Crockpot Meals | The Happy Housewife
10 Days to a Godly Marriage | Women Living Well
10 Days of Growing Leaders | Mom’s Mustard Seeds
10 Days of Homeschooling High School | Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers
10 days of I Wish I Had Known | Fruit in Season
10 days of Keeping Your Marbles | The Tie That Binds Us
10 days of Kid-friendly Food | Planner Perfect
10 Days of Language Arts Lesson Planning | Jimmie’s Collage
10 Days of Learning Apps | Daze of Adventure
10 Days of a Mason Jar Christmas | Cajun Joie de Vivre
10 Days of More JESUS in Christmas | Preschoolers and Peace
10 Days to a Peaceful Home | Raising Arrows
10 Days of Raising a Life-Long-Learner | Bright Ideas Press
10 days of Science with Math | Blog, She Wrote
10 days of Teaching Values | Our Journey Westward
10 days of Winning your Child’s Heart | I Take Joy
So what is your view on the topic we discussed in the video?
Walk with the King!
Courtney
Courtney! There is a great blog called Spiritually Unequal Marriage http://www.unequalmarriage@typepad.com
I’ve found their posts to be very helpful. I was just there earlier today (I hadn’t visited for quite some time) They actually have a book that I just came across while visiting. Maybe the blog/ book could help offer someone the practical application steps women in unequal marriages are looking for., as some may know the verses and lots of what you shared in the video. It’s the walking out day to day that is the challenging part. The book is called Winning Him without Words http://www.christianbook.com/winning-without-thriving-spiritually-mismatched-marriage/dineen-miller/978083075605
Thanks for your encouragement girls!! It really does make a difference in lives.
Thank you for this link! I’m going to check it out and hopefully get some encouragement for my marriage.
Um, you gals are awesome!! Good job!
And I totally agree! That verse that Claire read is really the key and also what Darlene said about letting God work through you. Yes yes!! Great stuff girls! Good job! 
Hi Me again.. sorry, the link cutoff when I copied it.
http://www.christianbook.com/winning-without-thriving-spiritually-mismatched-marriage/dineen-miller/9780830756056/pd/756056?product_redirect=1&Ntt=756056&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&event=ESRCP or winninghimwithoutwords.com
and there is a direct link to the blog
spirituallyunequalmarriage.com
Sorry for the mixups
My husband was unsaved for 13 of our 17 years of marriage. When I married him {we met at a Christian college}, he claimed to be a believer. But, years later it became more and more apparent that he probably was not. He lead a double life and I had no idea. I saw there was no fruit, and was frustrated. I finally realized that even though he would say he was a Christian, I would act and treat him as though he wasn’t – not getting angry when he wasn’t spiritual or doing things in a godly manner. How could he? I took on that verse in I Peter and was a much less frustrated wife. I could love him, but not what he did. I could serve and submit to his authority, but not things that I knew were ungodly. He DID get saved- radically! He is a NEW creature, our marriage is stronger than ever. I love him more now than ever – but God gave me the grace to get through many years of struggle and the heartache of his double life that he later confessed. To those with unsaved husbands, take heart and be encouraged. You are serving God through serving your husband. Thank you, Ladies, for your encouraging words!
Becky B.
http://www.organizingmadefun.com
Organizing Made Fun
What a great testimony, Becky!!!
That was awesome! More please!
I struggled with the idea of submission in the past… if I knew then what I know now
What a great idea your video was!
http://myhappilyeverafteragain.blogspot.com/search/label/submission
Thank you so much for your awesome words. I have been married to my husband for 6 years and he is not a believer. I struggle daily with things but through the last year I have really stepped up my relationship with God and I’m able to show him more of what a true relationship with Christ looks like. He’s not saved yet and I would guess several more years before he might be saved but each day I’m trying my best to show him through the way I live and serve him. I’m reading Debi Pearl’s book Created to be his Help Meet and it has done so much for me and for my family. I can’t wait until my husband is saved and we can share our faith and grow together. I know that if I trust God and do my part it will happen. Thank you for the reminder tonight!
Kari, I read your comment and I am also reading Debi Pearl’s book, Created to Be His Helpmeet. –I have to say even though, my husband and I are both Saved, it is a valuable book to have and read over and over again (Aside from reading our Bible). It really makes me understand that being saved –doesn’t mean we won’t still have Sin in our lives, it just means we know the difference and that we should NOT be self-centered and more like Christ and give ALL to our spouse. He is the head of household (husband), but CHRIST is the head of the Church.
Blessings to you and I will pray for you!!
Kari, I know your road sister, I have been there and walked through it. I prayed for 7 years and my husband was saved last Christmas. He was as close to an atheist as you can be without officially calling yourself that. I am going to hop over to your blog and contact you that way too. Don’t give up praying!
This was great! I would totally watch your version of The View any day!
I would too!! I can’t stand the VIEW!!
I stumbled across your blog from the “10 days” ad on another blog and I fell in love last night! What a wonderful, strong example you are to women, young and old who are searching for where they belong. God has elevated you to a position to show that you can be strong, outspoken, successful and SUBMISSIVE to your husband. I still get a small twinge when I say or type that word because the world idea of being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with no voice in the home still lingers in the back of my mind.
Thank you for your blog and thank you for following God’s leading in being vocal about the way He wants a marriage to be.
Blessings!
Oh my goodness–loved it! I would watch your version of “The View” any day as well!
Thanks for your honest, godly approach to marriage, ladies. 
You ladies rock! Just saying, You guys should all have you own tv show!
Thanks for the GODLY view!! Loved it too.
LOVED, LOVED this video!
I’ve been married 10yrs. to an unbeliever and found it very hard in the beginning because i would get so frustrated when he wouldn’t listen to me talk about God. But now, he is so open to Jesus (still an unbeliever, but no longer defensive) Very open hearted to the Word of God because I’m submitted to him completely, I go to church every Sunday with my kids, my bible is always opened on the table and I constantly PRAY!!
I even caught him one day reading my book of prayers! Jesus is awesome and having put Him the priority of my everyday life He has worked wonders in my marriage and in my home! All the glory to you Lord
When I opened my email this morning and saw what today’s topic was all about I was immediately drawn to come over and check out your video. I think you all had wonderful advice. When my husband and I married neither of us were Christians. After our son was born 8 years ago I found the Lord, or I should say He found me, and that is when I began my journey of praying for my husband. I agree with what you all said about the HUGE importance of prayer. The Power of a Praying Wife is an excellent source. What I found to be the very best source of all was the Word of God itself. I began to read the Word with an eye for verses to be praying. I still do this in all areas, but it was praying for my husband’s salvation that truly got me in this way of thinking and reading. As the years went on God took me through an amazing journey of changing me while I was waiting on Him to change my husband and I realized that I was not who I needed to be for Him to really work in John’s life when I first started praying. I have posted on my blog http://www.rebuildingancientruins.blogspot.com a list of the scripture prayers I prayed through the years under the tab “Scripture Prayers for Salvation”. My husband was saved last Christmas and it was the very best present our family has ever received! We took our first family communion on Christmas Eve. I share our journey on my blog as well under “Favorite Posts- John’s Salvation.” Don’t give up praying ladies if you are walking this road. God will work miracles and He will save in His perfect timing. Learn to thrive where you are planted in this season and show your husband Jesus. Submission looks different to each one of us, that is why we are called to submit to our own husbands, not anyone else’s. Keep God first and don’t preach to your husband. Win without a Word! God Bless sisters and keep praying! Our God is the God of impossibles!
Thank you for posting this! It came at the perfect time. I’ve been feeling very alone lately in my walk with God. I know it’s my walk, but I love my husband and want so much for him to know Him even more than I do. I wish so much for my husband to realize he needs to read scripture, he needs to be faithul to God with every aspect of his being. I’d like to say every choice I make is based on whether God would approve, but I’m not perfect so can’t say that. However, I attempt base most choices on what He would approve of. My husband thinks I’m old fashioned, but really I love my Savior with all of my heart. What’s even more difficult is that our children see a difference in my husband and me. They don’t fully understand why though and when parenting styles shine through, I’m of course the more strict parent. I’m tired of feeliing alone and want for the two of us to be on the same page. I want to have someone to discuss things with who understands my reasoning.
God Bless you!
Thank you for posting this – it was awesome! It’s not always easy being in a spiritually mismatched marriage, but you ladies are spot on – prayer and our example help our husband’s hearts to grow and change – the rest of the control belongs to God!
Great video ladies! I loved seeing you all in it together, too cute!
This has been my life for the last 6 years! My husband is not (yet) saved. He has never had a relationship with God, and until he met me wasn’t really ever introduced to God. So up until he met me, following Christ and having faith was more of a fairytale to him. He’s not an unbeliever exactly, more like he’s afraid to believe in something that never seemed real to him for so many years. And because it’s all relatively new to him he has a lot of questions about how I know MY faith is the RIGHT faith.
He is a wonderful husband, and is very supportive of the kids and I, and our walk with Christ. I pray for him every single day, and try to lead my family spiritually. I know that if I lead by example, and follow God’s perfect plan of how my marriage should look one day my husband will see Him! And maybe it’s starting to work because I caught him reading the kids bible the other night!
Thanks to the above women who comment on how there husbands were saved, it’s so encouraging! And thanks to those who are going through something similar, it’s nice to know I’m not doing this alone!
I do not agree with an “exception” to submitting to our husbands – saved or no. There is no biblical basis for an “out”. Sarah is our model the LORD told us to honor – and she submitted to lying and decieving based on Abraham’s fear. You may say Abraham was not a “believer”, but in that moment he didn’t trust God to keep him safe, he told his wife, “If you love me you will do this…” – that is lie and say you are my sister and go off and let this king (TWICE!!) marry you. GOD kept her safe because of HER faith and obedience to her husband. God admonishes us through her example of not giving way to fear and calling [our] husbands: master.
That is a strong word! These days in our feminist society we brustle and buck under such demands. But they are God’s demands. And God honors those who honor his word.
This is not the same as an abusive husband. Any woman who is under abuse – true abuse, sorry, but not just yelling – or whose children are under abuse should leave the circumstance but not divorce. She should do all she can to see her husband restored and/or saved. If HE divorces, she is free, or if he commits adultery. But otherwise, it is a serious vow WE took – if we are supposed to be the believers?? – when we married. God expects us to keep our vows – to HIM – including “submit” and “obey”. God honors those who honor authority. You can trust him with your marriage, just as Sarah trusted Him with her life, her body, and her honor.
Remember, when Sarah insisted on “her way” the nation of Islam was born.
I find it being very hard for me to do this still. I have been married for 8 years. We are both belivers but my husband has always had a anger issue and short tempered with anyone EXCEPT for people at the church. This is one thing I can never understand but I continue to pray for him daily and trust in god that someway or somehow this will get better. This is a helpful video and thanks for the mentioning of the book Debi Pearl’s book Created to be his Help Meet, I will need to get it and start reading.
Loved this post! I have a somewhat related question. How do submit to a husband when you currently have feelings of resentment? I’ll elaborate: My husband and I both work outside the home and we have two young children. I desperatly want to stay home to serve my husband, raise my children and keep home – however we are used to dual incomes. I am doing everything I can think of to cut back and learn to live on one income – and I cannot overcome feelings of resentment that my husband cannot support his family alone. I pray daily for the strength to overcome these feelings, but I am still struggling them. So – any advice anyone can provide on how to submit with these feelings, or even how to battle these feelings would be a blessing! Thanks -
I’d like to throw another book out there as a reference…Sacred Marriage: What if God designed marriage to make us Holy more than happy? by Gary Thomas
Oh, I love this! That’s such wise advice! And I love seeing you all on video! how fun is that?!
I loved this post!
You ladies did a great job with a tough subject.
I would ask all of us to examine our hearts for our motives and knowledge before stating what is definitely meant when it comes to submission, divorce, and separation.
Many women in truly terrible situations have been misled by that word, “submission”. And have stayed put and not reached out for help when they have had need. I prefer to leave the technicalities of when to separate and divorce and whatnot up to Christian counselors and ministers, and know that I cannot judge when I have not been in a certain situation.
1Pet3:1-2. Oh my goodness, do those two verses have HUGE meaning to me; it was the first time I ever heard the Lord speak directly to me. I was a new believer and my husband was not, at that time, a believer. He didn’t try to stop me from attending church, but he described the change in me as “going off on a tangent.” The day he said this, it infuriated me. I handled it so very poorly (again, new believer), basically having a meltdown. That night, I opened my Women’s Devotional Bible (given to me by a co-worker to encourage me when she heard I had accepted Jesus as my Savior). Guess which verses I was led to in the devotional.
Yep, God directly spoke to me about my attitude and actions, and as to what my course of action shoud be with my unbelieving husband. I’m getting goose bumps (more like joy jolts) even now as I recall the feeling I had in that moment. And I’m so thankful to God to say that my husband most definitely is a believer today.
Blessings,
Toni