Christmas is Not Your Birthday
My husband and I have served in the church nursery on the 2nd and 4th Sundays of every month for many years. Since Christmas is falling on a Sunday this year…this means we have to be up bright and early and to church for the 1st service to work in the nursery on Christmas morning…and guess what this has done to my typical Christmas morning plans? It’s messed them up! Serving Jesus has messed up MY plans!
It’s so easy to get caught up in all the excitement and traditions of Christmas…and to work ourselves so hard finishing our to-do list…that selfishness oozes out. If you have followed my blog for very long you are familiar with my birthday posts.
I’ve shared in the past that on my birthday, I always read verses addressing the issue of selfishness.
Why address selfishness on my birthday? Because I have noticed in past years – since having children – that the temptation to feel that I deserve a “special” day on my birthday has begun to creep in. Of course – when it actually turns out really special and everything goes my way – I am happy. But oh – if the kids are difficult and my husband has forgotten to buy me a present – I turn into a grouch and for some reason I feel justified – it’s my birthday! But I don’t see an exception clause in the Bible for selfishness on special occasions (like Mother’s Day – for some reason selfishness creeps in on that day too – yucko!).
And so I wonder if we need to beware on Christmas day too? Is there a chance that if things don’t go our way on Christmas day we are going to lose our cool? We have labored so hard to make this day perfect for everyone – we can feel entitled to a dreamy day…this is dangerous…we need to lower our expectations a tad. lol!
Indeed we have worked hard to make this day special…but it’s NOT about us.
Acts 20:35 says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
This principle is true everyday of the year and on Birthdays and Christmas too – because God’s word is always true.
And as for the nursery issue – we’ll be opening our presents on Christmas Eve morning at our house – so we can have a quiet day as a family. In the evening, we will do our family tradition which is to drive around and look at Christmas lights and slip pictures of the nativity that our children have colored, into all the paper boxes of homes who display the nativity, thanking them for displaying “the reason for the season”. Then on Christmas day, we will serve Jesus as a family in the nursery holding babies – while their parents worship the King of Kings! I can’t think of a better way to spend Christmas morning than to be serving Jesus. This will be the first Christmas morning I can remember where it won’t be all about us and…maybe, just maybe, this will be the best Christmas morning yet?
Walk with the King!
Courtney
Thank you so much for posting this. I was getting a bit bitter about our circumstances and who we were spending it with this year, but really it isn’t about that! I really needed this post, if it hits no one else, rest assured it really helped me!
Courtney,
I don’t know if you ever see my comments to you, but I absolutely appreciate your example! You represent everything I want and am trying to be as a follower of Christ, a wife and a mother. I have been trying to get you this link to a beautiful song I think you will enjoy. Your post this morning fits this song perfectly. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR7lo9ycKBA&feature=player_embedded
There is a line in the song that has had me pondering deeply over the past week. “Would you have come that night?” I brings tears to my eyes as I ponder. You would have been there, I hope I would have. Merry Christmas and again, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEET EXAMPLE OF FOLLOWING OUR SAVIOR!
Shelly
OH yes – I read every comment – I never miss one – but I’m terrible at responding!!! Just not enough hours in the day 🙁 I’m sorry! But that was a Beautiful video – I watched it! Thank you so much for sharing and Merry Christmas Shelly!!! Thanks for all of your encouragement.
Lots of Love,
Courtney
I so agree! I always seem to have had to be in nursery on Christmas or Christmas Eve and consider it a special honor. One year there was no help at our church for the nursery, as it wasn’t scheduled. I mosied on in and did it anyway and it was really neat how many parents decided to accept that option once it was there! This year however I am not scheduled…;) Is that a book or just a picture of Christmas is Not Your Birthday- I have said that so many times it is actually funny to see it in print!!! Merry Christmas , Courtney!
I love your idea of giving thank you messages to families who display nativity scenes on their front yard. Why a great way to share the spirit with others.
I love the idea as well! Makes me want to start the same tradition with my family. My 3 year old would probably love to color a bunch of pictures! I know in this day and age people need every bit of encouragement to keep the faith that they can get.
Wow. I’ve been so challenged this Christmas, to put the focus back on the Birthday Boy! This is one of those posts that just needs a big “AMEN” attached to it 🙂
Thanks for your post. Its a great reminder. I serve in my nursery as well. I am scheduled to serve the first of three services my church offers on Christmas Eve. I’m actually looking forward to it. I’ve been serving on Christmas Eve for years. We get so many out-of-town guests and C&Eers (Christmas & Easter attenders only) that I look at it a way to minister to those I don’t see on a regular basis. Merry Christmas & God Bless!
Courtney, I have nursery on Christmas Sunday Morning at our church, too. My girls are playing special music and singing and I AM IN THE NURSERY! haha What makes me think that I will serve the Lord wherever HE might lead me if I complain about serving Him in the nursery with all those sweet babes?? 🙂 Thanks for this reminder!
Just wondering if you open Christmas presents on Christmas Eve morning, how do you do Santa? Or do you do Santa at your house?
I was wondering the same thing. This is something my husband and I are really struggling with this year.
OH goodness is this a can of worms or what? lol!!! I really fear going here and NEVER have on-line…but here ya go – my truth :)!
We have chosen to tell our children the truth about Santa…so Santa won’t be coming to our house…BUT we still participate in some of the make believe…in past years we have put reindeer food on the front lawn, I tease them and tell them Santa is watching (they balk back and say no sir!!!), we watch some of the classic Santa movies with no fear of harm…so we aren’t anti-santa…but we are truthful that he is just make believe…we remind the children every year to not tell other kids the truth and ruin it for them…
This is what we do and what works for us and in no way would we EVER judge someone else for doing the Santa thing…we did it growing up and it did not affect my faith in Jesus…but my oldest sister decided to not do Santa….then my middle sister decided to not do Santa with their kids…by the time my children were born…no one in the family did it and that made it easy for us to decide to not do Santa also.
This is our conviction – and I encourage you to follow your own convictions on this…oh and your husband’s lead…follow your husband’s lead and his convictions.
Lots of Love,
Courtney
Ps. I feel that Kara Chupp addressed this issue really well on The Better Mom today – check it out here: http://www.thebettermom.com/2011/12/santa-or-not/
Thanks for addressing this Courtney! I have wondered what we’ll do when the time comes for our toddler to start hearing about Santa. I would rather tell her the truth, but definitely don’t want her spoiling it for other kids. Thanks for letting us know how you do it in your family.
We used to do Santa, but we stopped. It just didn’t seem right to come home from a beautiful Christmas Eve service focused on Christ and switch gears to get ready for Santa, Jesus all but forgotten. We’re like you,though, Courtney, we aren’t anti-Santa. We still watch the movies and have several Santa decorations. We join in most of the fun. We just don’t pretend that he brings presents or watches our kids’ behavior. I was reluctant at first to remove ‘the magic’ of Santa, but then I realized that Jesus is more than enough. We stopped doing the Easter bunny for the same reason. Boy, it sure is easier when you don’t have to sneak around hiding evidence!
This was a great article that was put out by cripplegate
http://thecripplegate.com/why-lie-to-your-kids-about-santa/
Courtney – thanks so much for sharing!
We did the same thing as you, Courtney, since I feel very strongly about my kids always being able to trust what I tell them as truth, so I couldn’t lie and tell them Santa was real. HOWever, there’s a great book called “Santa, are you Real?” or something along those lines, that shows that Saint Nicholas WAS a real man, who gave gifts to the needy. So I like to emphasize that more with them. We’ve definitely had to make sure our kids “tread lightly” around other children who do still believe in Santa. I like your idea about the pictures for people who display the Nativity! Great idea!
We feel the same way about Santa. My biggest issue was the big fat lying I was going to have to our ask-a-million-questions-that-aren’t-easily-answered firstborn when she was just three year old. 🙂 We teach our children the truth about Santa, but we are not anti-Santa, and we teach our children not to tell other children. We are doing Christmas at our house on the 22nd, because of how busy we are with other family Christmas gatherings starting on Friday. 😉
Our family Christmas is the 22nd too… we have five days straight of Christmas gatherings that we have to travel to, so we’re keeping our family Christmas “light” this year. 🙂
We chose not to do Santa because we felt as if it had the potential to mess with our kids’ belief system – if Santa IS real, then ISN’T real, is Jesus really real? But at the same time, we know that it’s not a black and white biblical issue, so we have to respect those who choose to do Santa with our kids. Our kids know all about Santa, including the true story of Saint Nicholas, but they treat him like any other cartoon or character – just for fun and as a reminder that the season is all about giving {not getting}, and that Jesus is the greatest gift ever given. 🙂
Courtney,
I appreciate this post and those who have commented regarding this. My children are grown– when they were young we approached “the Santa issue” the same. We had lots of fun, freedom, because we did not have to try to foster something that was not true. The children knew the truth, and then we enjoyed the holiday activities but we never had to backtrack and tell them later that we weren’t telling them the truth.
http://dianetohline.com/santa-claus-is-just-around-the-corner
and
http://dianetohline.com/santa-claus-and-the-tooth-fairy
Thanks Courtney,
Diane
Thank you for addressing this issue. My husband was torn about whether or not to do the Santa thing and I swayed him for us to do it because I don’t really see harm in it. Now I’m rethinking things a bit. Our oldest is just about 3 1/2 and I honestly do not have confidence that he will be able to keep it from other children if we tell him the truth (part of why I wanted to continue with doing Santa at least for a while). I’m thinking of downplaying the whole thing and only mentioning it in passing. And no presents from ‘Santa’.
At what age did you have to really explain things to your children? And how did you explain the importance of keeping the secret? Again, my son is a bit of a chatterbox (and a recorder…that presses play at the WRONG times…lol)….so I’m not sure he’d keep the secret. Any suggestions?
We have the oldest grandkids so we’ve had to set the tone. Truth is I’d really rather not. 🙂 But we do something similar. We still do stockings and those are from “Santa.” But we’ve told our kids the truth (ages 6 and 4) and they’ve known since their first Christmas. We call it “pretending Santa.” We talk about how other people believe in Santa and sometimes it’s fun to pretend. I take my 6 year old to buy items for the 4 year olds stocking and the other way around. Then I take them both to buy for Daddy’s stocking. Watch all the old movies at Christmas, tease about hearing jingle bells, etc. It’s tricky, but fun.
I did the same thing with my kids growing up, they knew Santa was make believe. It was so helpful during the really lean years, they didn’t think some magical guy was going to bring them all they wanted so they were more realistic with their expectations. My youngest daughter, now grown was just sharing with us how she remembers me telling her ‘the other kids at school might believe in Santa so don’t tell them’ She said she really didn’t think anything of it, and never told anyone.
Thanks for posting this Courtney. What an important thing to remember! I’m currently struggling with how to celebrate Christmas/my son’s first birthday. Our son Ezra James was born on Christmas day last year. Do you have any suggestions on how to celebrate his birthday while also keeping our hearts on the true meaning of this season?
OH that’s a hard one! I think it’s completely fine to focus on both – what a gift you received on the 25th – celebrate your child big! Children are a blessing – have no guilt in that – be free to enjoy both fully! I have a friend whose child was born right around Christmas and they celebrate their birthday a week early (what child doesn’t like to get their presents early right? lol!) so they can do Christmas on Christmas day.
Hope this helps!
Courtney
My daughter’s birthday is the 21st so we throw a party the weekend before Christmas. That was this past weekend. We try to celebrate it like any other child, at any other time of the year. I know that doesn’t help this year, but maybe in the future. As you’re celebrating this year, I would just continue to build the idea that they’re still special and embrace the fact that he gets to celebrate with Jesus.
I was getting upset at first cause I thought you were saying it was not his birthday but was glad I read it. I am doing ALL the kiddos from birth to 6th grade Sunday school and church so that others can attend church on Christmas or be with family. It won’t be very many at all and I don’t mind but now I see it is also an honor.
Without starting any issues, just wondering, do you do Santa? We do but I have toyed with doing it a day early so we can focus on Jesus’ birth and go to church on CHRISTmas. Seems weird to not be there on CHRISTmas. We also travel a lot on CHRISTmas day so that could help.
I’m certainly not Courtney, but I’ll share what we are doing this year with Santa. We are doing Christmas on Saturday, but Santa is still coming Saturday night after the kids are all snug in their beds. The only thing Santa ever brings our kids is what they get in their stockings. I tell my kids that Santa doesn’t bring lots of expensive presents. He puts candy and a small gift in their stocking.
Melissa – I love this – great plan – and cute idea with the stockings :)!
Courtney
Ashley – I just answered the Santa question above in the comments section so see my response above :)!
Courtney
I LOVE the idea of the nativity coloring pages! Thanks for sharing.
I have Children’s Church for Christmas as well, we are having a birthday party for Jesus, so I’m really looking forward to it.
It is amazing to see how God works. You will now have a new appreciation for those who work those special days too! Even when you aren’t the one.
Love this, Courtney! Thank you for showing a great example of serving–and what a perfect day to serve, on Jesus’ own birthday!
And yes, yes, to your Santa thoughts. My philosophy is to overwhelm my kids with the “magic” of Jesus’ birth so the magic of Santa is lost on them! 😉
Merry Christmas!
a
I enjoyed reading your blog. Thank you. We don’t do Santa but we did tell our boys about Saint Nicolas. This year we did something new to help encourage them to think about others and not just ourselves. We have a basket (manger) placed under the Christmas tree and every time we catch our boys doing something nice for someone else, or not complaining, etc. they get to put some hay ( shredded paper) in the manger to make a soft bed for baby Jesus. Baby Jesus ( a doll) will be placed in the manger on Christmas morning. My youngest age 5 loves it. He is trying to be more helpful and nice. We do a cross walk at Easter so that they can see baby Jesus isn’t a baby anymore. To make getting the presents special this year we are also doing a treasure hunt with clues and a map. I hope you have a great turn out at church this Sunday with lots of babies to rock or play with. 🙂
Chandra
I love this post and its commentary! We do Santa in our house but kind of with a twist instead we teach Santa gives gifts but he does this because he is celebrating the birth of Christ . That he does it because he is filled with the love of God and the kindness and blessing of Christ in his heart and when we talk about Santa’s magic we talk about it being his gift from God and that God is the true magic of Christmas that because of him we all have magical gifts that we give the world everyday. That if it was not for the Birth of Christ Santa would never have thought of bringing joy to the world and celebrating his birthday! May be different but it is how we do it !
We don’t do Santa either. He’s allowed to be make believe like any other cartoon character.
Like some others mentioned, we didn’t want it to upset the belief system of Jesus.
But another point that never sat right with me was flat out lying to my children. I understand many parents find that it’s harmless–but, for me it was black and white–lie to my children or not.
I did not feel comfortable telling my children something that simply wasn’t true. When they found out the truth, would they trust me about Jesus being real? It simply wasn’t a chance I was willing to take — nor could I stare my kids in the face and lie to them all the while telling them that lying is wrong. Forgive me, but none of it sat right with me.
We don’t go around telling other kids Santa isn’t real. My kids know that it’s for their parents to tell, not for us.
WOW, very interesting read going on here. This is my first time here but I’m sure it won’t be my last, thanks to my friend Jennifer for sharing this. My son is now 19 so of course santa is not an issue at our home but when he was young we started out playing the santa thing. However at the age of 3 1/2 one Christmas he told me what he wanted for Christmas so I replied with we’ll see (knowing it was at home in the closet). (We were about to go to the mall next). My son informed me “I’ll tell santa what I want”. I told him that was fine……until he bowed his head and said “Dear Santa, for Christmas would you please bring me a super van city Amen”. This prompted an VERY QUICK truth of santa, along with but we don’t tell other children this. The next year my son decided to believe santa was a man dressed in a costume at the mall for fun. I was fine with his belief in santa. LOL.
Remember it may feel like a burden to watch the children at church this Christmas but please remember this may be the ONLY time the parents hear the TRUE meaning of Christmas.
Courtney, that’s what we do too! To my kids he’s nothing more than Mickey Mouse would be. They know he’s fictitious, but we still took them to the mall a few times to see him and we don’t ban his image from our wrapping paper or anything. He’s a fun character and nothing more. We have been honest since our first child asked us, “Who is greater, Jesus or Santa?”
That was about 17 years ago, and since then we stopped pretending. It freaked me out, grossed me out, and weirded me out all at the same time. But like you, I think it’s for each parent to decide.
Ohhh I loved your post today sweet friend!!! What a GREAT reminder!
We don’t do the santa thing either. When I was a young child I was taught to believe in santa and Jesus. When I found out that my parents lied to me about santa, I was greatly disappointed in them. (I was 7 years old at the time.) Then I thought they were lying to me about Jesus as well. I wrote a small ebook to help strengthen my children’s faith at Christmas and I addressed the santa issue in it. It’s free if you want to take a look at it. I hope it draws you closer to Christ this season. It’s on my blog, The Alabaster Jar, http://www.joleneengle.org. You can find the book button on the side.
Courtney… Thank you for posting this! I really needed it. I am starting to realize that I am struggling with selfishness. I too am in the nursery Christmas morning and was dissapointed that I won’t be upstairs with my family instead. I need to remember Acts 20:35. When my kids were younger I would have loved to have been able to drop them off in the nursery so I could go worship. I need to remember that I am serving Jesus. I need to take my own advice that I tell my 17 year old, “It’s not all about you.” 🙂 Thank you!
I think you will LOVE it. In the past (not this year) we have worked fiercely with our church groups to make breakfast on Christmas Eve night (at our homes–no kitchen at our church) so that we could go and serve homeless as the park early on Christmas Day. We worked frantically wrapping up socks, jackets and sorting sleeping bags so that someone else could experience his love. So well worth it. Nothing better. Have a blessed day!
I am glad that you posted this perspective about NOT making Christmas about us. If you ever overhear people talk (including myself), we say “Oh, Christmas is on a Sunday, what are we to do?”
Well, the answer to that (as you so eloquently have put it), is put on your best attire and go to the birthday party that you have been invited to…..CHURCH!!! And man, am I glad that I am invited! What if HE was never born? I dread to think about it. I wish that we could have balloons, a birthday cake and presents for HIM. But what he REALLY wants is our PRESENCE not presents!!! This year, I am committing to giving HIM my PRESENCE!!
I LOVE this!!! Thank you for such a GREAT reminder!!!! (That selfishness creeps in on me too ~ thank you for being so transparent!) 🙂
Love this post. Now sure how we will handle the Christmas stuff. 2 different sides of the family in evening on Christmas eve. And two of the kids, still at home yet older, have to work that day.. one very early and the other latter in the day. Too close for one of the family things. And a 14 year old still at home. Our church group that we really love going to is about an hour from home. But we do know God will work all of it out.
One of the reasons that I wanted to respond to your message is that I thought you would like to try something that we have done with our kids. Most all grown up. At our house we only do one gift at a time. Start with youngest.. but the gift may not be their own. They give the gift to the one to whom it belongs… and has to wish something for that person that can not be wrapped. That person the presents the next gift to someone else , and does the same thing. Thank you much. And Blessings to all of you. Because of Him who sent me!
I had to laugh at the title of your post…Christmas IS my birthday! LOL Not only is it my birthday but our son was born on my birthday which, if you do the math, is TWO Christmas birthdays in our home. I loved your post and it was so needed by my heart. I can be very whiny on Christmas because I have to cook the special dinner for Christmas, I have to make sure that the house is perfect for Christmas, I have to try and make the day extra-special for our son because it’s not only Christmas, it’s his special day too. Some Christmas’s, I’m ashamed to say, have only been pity parties for myself. Thank you for bringing the focus in my heart to where it needs to be. I’m determined to make this year more about HIM and less about me…thanks for the encouragement!
My church is not having services on Christmas Day – I’m disappointed! We are having 6 Christmas Eve services over the course of Friday and Saturday. Still, it will seem strange not to go on Sunday, Jesus’ birthday. God bless you and yours, Jenny C.
I respect everyone who chooses not to do Santa, but my husband and I are TOTAL Santa fans. I love all the magic that surrounds Santa Clause! My husband goes so far, as to buy separate wrapping paper for the kid’s Santa gifts. After we wrap their gifts, he hides the Santa wrapping paper, so that the kids don’t see it. We want our kids to believe in Santa for as long as possible. They’re only young once.
As a parent of a little one who is often in the nursery and another on the way, THANK YOU. Thank you for sacrificing your Christmas service to let a mom or dad enjoy a break and time to be renewed in Him. There will be jewels in your crown.
Wonderful article!!! You mentioned that we make all these plans for a “dreamy” Christmas. My thoughts were–Well if we can plan a dreamy Christmas then we can plan a way to do both–Honor our King and have a dream Christmas with our family!!! Christmas does not come on Sunday that often. So why is it so hard to plan a way to Worship as part of that dream time with our family. Our family time with God should be so special that we truly feel incomplete without it!!! Thank you for sharing how you make it possible to truly Worship the King on His special day!!!!
Thanks for this! We have some family issues (of course they are worse this time of year). This message is a perfect example of the reason for the season. All of us need to focus on only Him.
Leaving notes in people’s mailboxes may be a federal offense. I recently heard that it was , and don’t know if it is true or not, but I wanted to give you a head’s up to check it out, just in case. I do notice you said onto the box, but I wasn’t sure if that was a typo or not so I thought I’d say something.
Happy Holidays 🙂
Onto was not a typo 😉 – we do not put them in the mailbox as we are aware it’s a federal offense 🙂 This year we have a neighborhood picked out to drive through that has boxes below the mailboxes for the newspaper – we’ll try to put them in there if we find nativities 🙂
Merry Christmas!
Courtney
Yeah, I was thinking after I had posted, that you had discussed this before 😀
Hello,
I love the points you bring out in your “It’s NOT your birthday” article. I like how it gets people to shift the focus away from themselves and to others, especially Jesus. However, I have been doing some research on Christmas recently and what I found was pretty shocking. It’s not Jesus’ birthday either. Anyhoo… I’ve put all my findings into a powerpoint file if you’re interested in taking a look at it. You seem to be pretty grounded in your faith, so it would be nice to get some feedback from someone with great Faith like yourself. You can download it from my website: http://www.christmastruth.info/
Let me know your thoughts. Have a great day!
– FLO