Valentine’s Day Ideas for Your Husband


Next Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. In a lot of marriages, this day comes and goes without a whole lot of acknowledgement. We women see it on the calendar – we know it’s there, we’ve helped our children write out all their little Valentine’s Day cards…and we cross our fingers that our husband NOTICES it is Valentine’s Day.

If you are a lucky one – you will get a card, flowers, dinner out, maybe some chocolates and some romance. And well – the rest of us…it might not happen and we’ll just have an annoying day lol!

But rather than waiting around for something that might not happen – let’s use this day to show our husbands appreciation for the blessing that they are in our lives.  

There are no exceptions in the Bible where it says on Birthdays, Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day we have permission to be selfish and self-centered.

Philippians 2:3,4 says “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

My husband is thoughtful. It is not uncommon for him to show up with my favorite drink from Starbucks, a late night run to fill my car up with gas, or a timely back rub. But he’s not Mr. Romance. I am 100% secure in his love for me by the way he works so hard to provide, listens to my long detailed stories lol!, puts up with my many hours on the lap top, protects me and the children and does a whole slew of other things 365 days a year! I don’t want to despise him on February 14th for not coming up with a “soap opera” type romantic extravaganza. I know it’s not gonna happen and it probably won’t happen for about 75% of us!

So why not have some fun planning something special for our husbands and making a memory! Do you know what your husband wants? There’s still quite a few days left – so ask him!
Let me make a suggestion as to what a majority of men want even if they aren’t willing to say it:
1. A great tasting, looking, smelling home cooked meal and home cooked dessert.  It is our tradition to have a red dinner on Valentines day -a red drink (sparkling red grape juice), red spaghetti, and red dessert (chocolate dipped strawberries).  I pull out the china and crystal (why not its just collecting dust!) and lavish the family with the best I have to offer! 
2. Pursue him for a night of passion. (remember you are married – HAVE fun! God created passion for us married folk! lol!) Don’t be afraid to flirt again – wink at him across the table – suggest what is for dessert after the kids are in bed *wink*. Put on something flirty – Loosen’ up and be playful!
3. Write a letter expressing all the things you admire about him. Last year I wrote a list of ten things I love about my husband and then read it out loud to him at our “red dinner”, in front of of the children. If you are going out to dinner – put your list in your purse and then pull it out in the middle of dinner and read it to him. Trust me – he will LOVE it!
So I wonder, which of the above three do you think your hubby would like most?  And if you have some other ideas – please share them so we can all do them too!!! :)
Walk with the King!


  1. says

    What a wonderful reminder and encouragement Courtney! I’ve been planning fun stuff for my family for Valentine’s Day, but was neglecting ways I can pursue and show love specifically to my husband. Thanks for the suggestion… Have a terrific start to your week!!!

  2. says

    Sadly, hubby and I will be apart this year – he is away doing military training and I will be at home :( So I’ve had to get creative…a goodie box full of little things like a small bag of hershey’s kisses, a box of double stuffed oreos, a wallet size picture in a frame, some heart shaped peeps, and a few other things that were a bit more personal :), with special little notes accompanying each individually wrapped item.

    • says


      I’m sorry your Hubs is away this year! Take heart that if he’s doing military training, you’re probably the first pleasant thing on his mind! I hope he’s not away for long. We’re an Air Force family, and while I realize the feeling of forced separation is different for all of us, to that certain degree–I understand!

      Your care package sounds wonderful, by the way. :)

      Take Care!

      • Tijerria Whitman says

        Boo i really do understand what you going through.. My man in the service too.. Try Skype it helps me to see his face..

    • Keeli Reed says


      My husband is away doing military training as well. He is in the Air Force. We just recently got married the end of September and he left for Basic the beginning of December, so he wasnt here for Christmas or New Years either.): I know how your feeling. He left his 18 month old daughter, Madi, too. It was sad but I know he’s doing whats best for us. I love your idea of personalizing things. It seems more special. Take care and God bless.

      Keeli Reed.

    • BilliJo says

      Sorry your husband has to be away for Valentine’s day :( Sadly I know how it feels, my husband is in the military too. He actually just got back from deployment in Afghanistan so this will be the first actual holiday he will be home for since we’ve been married. He has missed everything from all our aniversaries, to both of our birthdays every year, to the birth of our daughter. Unfortunately he got put on detail for the military ball on Valentine’s day and won’t be home until after midnight. We have terrible luck :( I love your package idea though. I just wish i could come up with something for my husband that sweet :) I’m having a hard time though lol

  3. Erica says

    This day gets a bit difficult for me to juggle because it is our daughter’s birthday and I don’t want it to be overshadowed by a holiday. I don’t want to brush off my husband either, but Chuck-e-cheese is not the most romantic Valentine’s day dinner. Any ideas?

      • Debra Lee says

        Definitely do something the day before (or night!)! Or why not take the weekend before? Since Valentine’s day falls in the middle of the work week this year that is what the hubby and I are doing. We are having a romantic getaway!

    • Nicole says

      Or you could send hubby a text or put a note in a place he will obviously see it and say something like, “Family time tonight will be for celebrating Daughter” but later (wink, wink) is just for you, my darling valentine! Then be sure to have one of his favorite sweet treats waiting with you in the bedroom after the kids are in bed. He’ll love it!

    • Crystal says

      For Erica, someting you could do is celebrate Valentine’s day is to give your husband a little something each day in Feb. Leading up to Valentine’s day, then on the day of celebrate your daughters birthday all day but have a nice dinner with a special desert than after the kids have gone to bed you can spend some quality time with your husband.

  4. says

    I’m so glad you posted this…I get so tired of hearing people complain about how Valentine’s Day is a day made up by Hallmark to sell more cards. Yes, you should celebrate love every day and appreciate your spouse every day…why not also on Valentine’s Day? :) Great ideas!

  5. says

    I love the idea about the letter of ten things. Honestly, right now, it might take me until next week to think of those things, so I’d better get started. And I agree about the meal. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, isn’t that how the saying goes?

  6. says

    I agree, most men are not into Valentine’s Day in the way women would be. That doesn’t mean they don’t love us though! I never know what (if any) material gift I’ll receive from my husband on Valentine’s Day but I know that I’ll get a good morning kiss, have him to share my dinner with and to kiss good night and that’s pretty darn good if you ask me! Actually, I enjoy doing for him and others on Valentine’s Day much more than receiving. It’s like most holidays where gifting is expected…the planning and prep for the big day is almost always more fun that the day itself. Hope you and your hubby have a wonderfully grateful Valentine’s Day this year and each year after!

  7. Alicia says

    Thank you so much Courtney for suggesting this!!! I was really getting stump on what to do for Valentine’s Day for my husband. He’s actually leaving 3 days after Valentine’s Day for a underway (he’s a United States Submariner) so I want to make sure this Valentine’s Day is very memorable for us since he will be gone for a little while. Last year we didn’t spend Valentine’s Day together because he was finishing bootcamp so we celebrated it 4 days later when he graduated. It was a blast!

    -In Christ

  8. says

    My husband will be traveling alot this month. Who says we have to celebrate “on the day.” We are taking a business trip together at the end of March. I suggested to him we celebrate Valentine’s Day then….in San Francisco. yay!

    I have found i usually do most of the planning, and through my help, I help him be successful in “giving ” to me. Just like the children – who give “their wish list” for Christmas or birthdays, I always ask him for his “wish list” and then give him mine – though he usually asks now. It has been great for our family – the children have learned to get involved in giving – when they were small adding their saved money to Daddy’s gifts. As they have grown up they have been quite aggressive in “checking the wish list” to see what they can do to be a blessing to a family member.

  9. Rachel says

    It might also be effective to have a heart-to-heart with your husband about how much it would mean if he did something. Honest, loving communication can go a long way.

  10. says

    I really love this… My husband does not typically buy me things because I ask him not to. I don’t really life getting flowers or things like that (I just don’t…ha). But I love how you’ve suggested a gift that truly isn’t material. You’ve listed things that show love in a warm “time spent” way. I really, really like this and you’ve inspired me to make a nice meal (I’ll get the kids to help) with a sweet dessert… and just write him a long letter of appreciation. You are bang on with this… as I know this is what makes my husband’s heart smile. God Bless. Cass @ The Unplugged Family

    • Amanda says

      You hit the nail on the head with this comment. Courtney really does remind us that we need to show our men they are special too! This one day is not a special day to be selfish for us! Your comment really took the words I was trying to think of right out of my mouth Haha.

  11. says

    Some great ideas! Thanks for reminding us that marriage is a 2-way street, and we could make this day a lot less stressful for everyone involved if we take the initiative and shower our husbands with love instead of waiting and pouting if it doesn’t happen.

  12. says

    I laughed when I read your post because it is almost identical to a post I wrote at the beginning of February kicking off my “Woo Your Man” series. Since I was a newlywed, my hubbie is one of those that struggles with giving romance but he truly loves being a part of it. So I take over with wooing my man every birthday, Valentine’s Day and anniversary. It’s soooo easy to think thoughts of wanting HIM to take the initiative (and sometimes he does!) and feelings of hurt, discouragement and even anger can be easy to justify. But I have found that when you turn the tables and choose to bless your man you forget about what you will (or won’t) receive in return and it truly is better to give than to receive! Hope you don’t mind that I included the link to my own series – there are several ideas that will continue up to Valentine’s Day of different easy to do ideas that I have done for my man. God bless your ministry Courtney!

  13. Kimmie Pitcock says

    I love the simple things that don’t break the budget. Thank you Courtney! It’s not always conducive to find a night away without the kids so I love the family Valentines’s Day dinners. One year for my hubby I did “14 Days of Valentine’s Day”. Day 1 was a card, day 2, was 2 Hershey’s kisss, Day 3 I scrapped booked pictures of our 3 kids on heart shaped paper…and so on.. You get the point. By Valentines’ Day, day 14, I had 14 cut out hearts with a writtten expression of my affection for him on each one, and I plastered them on them inside of his car. He loved them!!!

  14. says

    LOL! Thanks Courtney… I think I may have needed the reminder that “it isn’t about me” 😉 I absolutely LOVE serving others- esp my hubby, but on “special” days I do think that I get disappointed (selfish!!) ! Over the years, it has worn off, but when we were newly married…ugh…I have learned a lot. Each year we invite another couple and their children to have a fancy V-Day dinner at our house…the kids have their special table and we have ours. I typically make Creamed Chicken Crepes…(and dessert crepes), salad and french bread. This year we are workin on the house, so it may be out to dinner we go! I am very thankful for a husband who showers me with loving compliments every day and works hard to support our family…I can be spoiled! 😉 Love ya, Nelle

  15. Kirsten says

    This was so perfect for me! My first husband was a sappy romantic that really did do quite a few nice things on Valentine’s Day… my second, ha ha ha, not so much. But like you said, I SEE how much he loves me by how hard he works for me, how my car IS filled with gas, how he moves the car seat over to the other vehicle FOR me, even how yesterday he (without being asked) changed the baby’s diaper while I was trying to get the other five kids ready for church. He holds me when I miss my mom and listens to me gripe about work. He really, really does love me!! I needed this reminder, I’m so thankful God put this word on your heart.

    Marriage is work. Recognizing only ‘special’ occasions, or calendar dates doesn’t prove love. Recognizing me, and how to love me….what my love language is… does prove love. God proves his love to me daily, in the details of life, in my prayer time, he doesn’t wait for special occasions to say, ‘see, I love you’.

  16. Anna says

    Thanks for posting this! I love hearing all the different ideas! Who says you have to spend a lot to show your hubby you appreciate him. So often, especially once we have children we fall into a rut and our husbands are often put on the backburner because we are busy with the cares of the children….let’s put them to bed and love on our husbands a bit. I am planning to put my baby to bed early and then have a romantic dinner with my husband. :-)

  17. Sheryle says

    Absolutely LOVE these ideas!! What a concept to shower our husbands with love instead of waiting, waiting for them to remember us! This is a beautiful example of putting him before ourselves for our children to see. I plan to start this tradition this year and do it all!! Thanks so much for sharing!


  18. says

    I love these ideas so much I even blogged on a similar topic and linked it back here to your great post! Thank you so much for the great ideas and wonderful pictures. My wonderful husband has already been asking for a few of his favorite desserts and I could easily make his favorite dinner for him. Ikeep most things on hand.

  19. Lindsey Bass says

    One year I wrote 100 things I loved about the person I was with and cut each one into a strip, scrolled each one up and put it in a little wooden box. That way, every day he could pull out a new scroll and read it. Another idea is writing a poem for your spouse. I did, “The story of us” and wrote it out on the pages of a scrapbook with pictures and in the back, put a personalized cd of a playlistism of songs I picked out that described our relationship.

  20. anon says

    Such great ideas….but for those of us whose husbands have chosen a more *ahem* adventurous path in life including other women (real ones and fake ones), Valentine’s Day is really, really tough…..

    • anon says

      …should have added that through the years, I would always do fun, romantic things for my husband…I just enjoy doing that kind of thing. Once other women enter the picture, things just are not the same…

      and BTW, to dispel any preconceived notions….I have always kept myself athletic and fit and attractive for my husband. I am in great shape (even though he has gained 70 pounds LOL!).

      Sometimes we just have to remember all the love that Christ has showered upon us. He can fill us up to overflow to others, even if the circumstances are not ideal.

      • Loretta says

        Hi anon
        I am sorry for your betrayal and it really is the ultimate betrayal. However his bad choice does not define who you are. And please for your sake do not allow it to. This is something that your husband needs to FIX. Sin does not just dissolve it has to be dealt with. I pray that he would show remorse and humility over the choice he has made. Because of this choice he has impacted several lives. When a spouse makes the choice of infidelity to satisfy his/her SELFISH physical/emotional need the aftermath can be devastating to All persons involved. You said, I have always kept myself athletic and fit and attractive for my husband Again it is NOT ABOUT YOU! His behavior is a symptom of a much larger issue that your husband needs to deal with. Unfortunately you have just been caught up in his inability to behave mature, respectful, and responsible with forethought of his WIFE. Please spend time with the Lord in prayer. He will guide you in this situation. You are made in the image of Almighty God and this is not, I repeat this is not what God has planned for your life. Please take care of yourself and make sure you seek medical attention. I have a friend who just went through the same thing, and it did not go well for that husband. I pray you are able to rise above and go onto have a happy prosperous life. Perhaps this is the first time he has done this but sad to say maybe it is the first time he has been caught.

    • says

      :( Anon – I am SO sincerely sorry :(

      I do not know the details or if you have sought help – but if you have not let me give you a few pieces of advice…This is not God’s will for your marriage or life and he has set up a way to handle difficult matters such as these…Matthew 18:5 says if a brother sins against you go and show him his fault. Verse 16 says if he will not listen take one or two others a long…verse 17 says if he still refuses to listen – tell it to the church. These are not easy verses when it’s your husband. But God loves you and this is not his will for marriage – these verses along with Ephesians 5 verses are there as a protection for wives. Please pray over these verses and consider making a move and communicating with your husband. You do not have to put up with this behavior and tough love may be what it takes to turn your marriage around.

      I know that my words are not easy and for that I apologize – my heart hurts for you and the situation you are in and I want the best for you so that is why I share these thoughts. Please commit this to prayer…and if you need further assistance in how to confront your husband – consider purchasing “I Don’t Want a Divorce – a 90 Day Guide to saving your marriage” by Dr. David Clarke.

      I also wrote a blog post about this here:

      Saying a prayer for you right now sister.

    • Arron says

      I’m so sorry, anon… If you are still married, love him as unto the Lord. And make sure you have some fun with your girlfriends and children. 😉 The peace of Christ be with you!

  21. Mandie k says

    I think I will be combining ideas! I love the “10 things I love about you” and I love the idea of te hearts in the vehicle. I think I will do hearts and hide them all over. In the car, coat pockets, wallet, work desk, etc. I’m gonna have to be sneaky!

  22. Leslie says

    My hubby commented about a month ago that he was running low on cologne…so I secretly ordered him a new bottle for Valentine’s Day :) Other than that, I love the idea of having a “red dinner” and I do have everything on hand to make a good meaty spaghetti meal! I might make the exception and purchase some red velvet cupcakes since I won’t have the time to make them myself. But other than that, I love the ideas! :) Thanks for sharing!

  23. Lisa says

    I am a hopeless romantic!! And my husband knows it. I think it’s okay to let our husbands know that once in a while we need them to step up the romance. That doesn’t mean they’ll know how, romance isn’t a guy thing except in movies! I have asked my husband to make a night of romance for me and he is AMAZING! The ideas aren’t his, he gets them off the Internet or out of books. Either way I love it!
    We also take turns, every other year for valentines day and our anniversary. That way we get to have the fun of giving and receiving! Also we have a very romantic dinner with the kids, candles and glasses and we all get dressed up! They love it (even my 14 year old son gets a little giddy!)

  24. says

    First of all, your little girl in the pic is so cute. Anyway, i will be preparing a nice Valentine’s dinner for my hubby and I. I would not dare put any pressures on him for Valentine’s Day because he is so much more of a hopeless romantic than me! I am blessed because things like flowers and dinner come without discrimination of occasion or time of year. On the menu so far is chocolate covered strawberries and crabcakes…still working on the rest.

  25. says

    Love reading all the ideas in post and comments!! I decided to do things a bit different this year, as we are having to pinch pennies. My hubby likes to take me out to eat, but I suggested just staying home. I love making a special meal. We have 3 boys 6, 4 and 2 so I wanted to do something fun for them. So gave them the option of a fancy meal with the china and all the fixings or a simple fun picnic meal on the living room floor. Guess what they picked!! And they are counting down the days!! I plan to use a fun red blanket, candles around the room, and serve chicken wings, shrimp, red heart jello, sweet potato fries, and chocolate brownies with strawberries for dessert!! We can’t wait… and yes, we plan to put the boys to bed early. I love wooing my hubby, and need to practice it more then I do!!

  26. Rs Mom says

    I don’t remember how I found your blog, but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate and enjoy it. Have a wonder-filled day.

  27. Wendy Zwart says

    Thank you so much for your posting today… my husband is like yours and not very romantic… we are older and only married for 3 Valentine’s Days… the first year I made up little signs on construction paper that I posted all over our home for him to find, each one telling him how very special he was and that I loved him… he had so much fun hunting for them and still has them in his desk drawer. Husband’s need to know how much their wife respects them, for men respect is more important than “love” so be sure to include that in your sentiment for this day…

  28. says

    My plan this year is to serve my husband one of his favorite meals from his childhood. I’ll be asking his father for the recipe for his recipe for tuna casserole. It’s a variety that he created himself, and it’s been years since my husband has had it.

    Especially considering that I don’t enjoy tuna, I can’t think of a better way to say, “I Love You!”

  29. Elizabeth says

    Love it! Buy his favorite candy bar while you’re at the grocery store this week (or two if he might share). Put a bow on it, and you have “man flowers.” Or bake him a batch of his favorite brownies or cookies. You know what he likes :)

  30. Jennifer says

    When my hubby and I were first married and didn’t have much of an entertainment budget, I would make his favorite dinner, buy him an action movie (1. I don’t do action flicks, normally. 2. Purchasing a DVD is less expensive than going to a movie!) Then, after the movie, I would end the night giving him a massage! It was always a fun night that we both looked forward to!

  31. Sophia says

    I found a great idea on Pinterest that I’m hoping I can get around to doing this year! You take an old (or new) deck of playing cards, punch a hole (or two holes, one on the bottom and one on the top), in the top corner of each card and fashion them together however you’d like. Then you write or type out 52 reasons you love your husband, and title it: “52 Reasons I Love You”.

    I think this will really bless my husband, and I’m sure it would bless many others to know what their wife loves about them. I like that it’s compact enough that I can stick it in his lunchbox for a little Valentine’s Day surprise when he goes to eat his lunch at work :)

    Thank you, Courtney, for encouraging us to seek to bless our husbands, instead of expecting (well, really, demanding- even if I don’t SAY anything) that they treat us a certain way on ‘the day’. The world has corrupted our thinking so that now we believe that we are ENTITLED to being romanced on February 14th. Love is sacrificial and puts the interest of OTHERS (in this case, our husbands’) before our own , so thank you for encouraging us to love our husbands, regardless of what they do or how they treat us on a certain day!

  32. Mara says

    We always have sushi every Valentine’s Day. It’s yummy, s special treat, no one has to cook, and we don’t have to worry about getting a reservation. We both love it. We make it special, eat in the dining room, etc. We decided this year we would make each other cards out of construction paper! I heard about doing that on the radio. Sometimes the Halmark card gets monotonus. I am definitely going to use your admiring list as mine. Thank you!

  33. says

    These are some great ideas…:) Valentines Day is EXTRA special for me, because it is our wedding anniversary!!! This year will be 14 years!!!
    I remember 14 years ago, upon agreeing to this date, I had half jokingly/half selfishly told him that I would indeed marry him on Valentines day AS LONG as I didn’t get “jipped”…lol!
    14 long maturing years, and 5 kids later this has become less and less of a priority …(for me)
    but he has never forgotten….my husband always makes sure the day is recognized as two special days…even if it’s just little things…;)
    In a tight budgeted year (really really tight) I have enjoyed some of these great ideas…Thank You ladies!!!

  34. Killetheya says

    These are truly some great ideas. I love the fact that God is in the midst of them all. This year I have decided to create a detailed guide explaining what he is to do from the beginning to the end of our night and I have included dinner that I will pick up on the way home from work, I’ll be sending the flowers this year and the hearts with 14 reasons why I love him will be all over his truck on Tuesday morning! He is a neat freak so we will see how this goes when he opens the door! Wish me luck!!

  35. angela hathaway says

    To make sure that both of us get to really show the other as much affection as we can, my husband and I adopted a Japanese tradition of White Day. I do for him on Valentines and he reciprocates on White Day. It is wonderful to just love on my hubby and then just be loved on.

  36. Kelly says

    Thank you for the “red dinner” idea! My husband and I were supposed to go out on a date and long story short it got cancelled and we had no sitter, a couple of days later I read this and thought what a great idea! So yesterday I decorated the table, bought candles, balloons, wrote notes to him and our two little ones that I read aloud at dinner and it was the best date ever!!!! I believe that our actual date got cancelled for a better reason than I could have ever imagined! I hope to make this a new tradition. Thanks again!!!


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