The Kissing Test


Alright ladies – are you ready for this?  Today we are taking the kissing test to find out how much romance and passion is left in our marriages.  Listen to this one minute video where I discuss kissing with Dr. David Clarke, the author ofKiss Me Like You Mean It.


(If you cannot see the video – click here to open it in youtube.)

So did you pass the test or have you kissed romance goodbye? 

The kiss is an important part of intimacy in marriage.  If your kisses are like Dr. Clarke described – you might as well fist bump or exchange business cards! 

So what’s the right way to kiss?

Well, I’m thinking you don’t need a crash course right?  You know how to kiss – remember back in the old days when you loved to make out with your man…when you could kiss for an hour? It was natural!  That’s what I’m talking about – bring that back! 

The book of Song of Solomon gives lots of verses on kissing…it’s Biblical, it’s beautiful and it’s the way God created us – we were created to enjoy kissing! 

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
   for your love is more delightful than wine.” Song of Solomon 1:2

Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue.” Song of Solomon 4:11
(Dr. Clarke says this verse is referring to french kissing!)

the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.
Song of Solomon 7:8b,9a

I know you know how to do it :) (if not watch the video – Dr. Clarke explains lol!) !  So, if it’s been a long time since you’ve put a whopper of a kiss on your man – tonight’s the night!!!   Let’s bring back old-school kissing and reignite the flame of passion in our marriages.

Walk with the King,



  1. says

    So true! My husband and I are both strong “physical touch” love languages, and I notice that whenever we are not feeling as connected we go for the peck. Yuck! I say, kiss your man like you mean it! :)

  2. says

    What a great reminder! I’m a little convicted of the “pecks” I give to say have a good day in the morning OR to welcome my man home at night. :-) I think he’ll be happy I read this! Have a great start to your week!!!

  3. Martha says

    Another great one Courtney!!! I showed this to my husband and asked him what he thought. He said “We have no problem in the kissing area” ! I thought the same thing. I’m really close to 50 and he 57, but we are constantly complimented that we don’t seem “that old” — Most think we are newlyweds. He still calls me for a date, every week! I really enjoy kissing him.

  4. Nina says

    Great, but what if you try to kiss your husband passionately, but he just doesn’t reciprocate? We have a wonderful love life and a beautiful family, but for some reason kissing passionately is not something he seems to want to do now – whereas we used to have no problem! He has a lot of sinus/hayfever and sometimes it irritates his nose too much, it is something I really miss though. :(

    • Laura says

      This is really a very good topic. I wanted to share with you something that happened recently to me that relates to this. My husband and I have been married for 16 years, 3 children. We rarely give each other anything other than pecks. One day I was having a very bad day, kids, cleaning, frustrated…you know what I’m talking about I’m sure. He had been working out of town and had only been home for about 30 minutes. I guess he heard me venting my frustrations and he walked into where I was and said “I know what you need”, He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a long, wet kiss that made my knees go weak. I was so startled but so very pleased at the same time. So yes, kissing is very important. Sometimes you don’t realize how much until you are reminded. And,,,to top it off it made my day much better:)))))

  5. says

    Hahaha! He’s great. I love the complete honesty here. It’s so true though. I’ve heard a lot of young couples talk about their parents and how they almost NEVER saw them kiss. My husband has shared with me how is actually upset him to never see his parents show passion towards each other. My hubs and I have struggled in this area, as I’m sure so many young couples do when you start having children. 3 kids in 3 years pretty much snuffs out the romance for a while. At least, it did for us. We’ve been trying to focus on ‘us’ lately though, and realizing how crucial it is. Hugs are huge too – if we aren’t giving each other a huge smoocheroo (which, let’s face it, we’re not ALWAYS going to do…) we make sure to give big, strong, long hugs.
    Our children watch us embrace and they usually crowd around us too. It’s really precious. One day, when Wes came home, we did not hug but simply said ‘hi’. Our eldest boy (6) said, “HUG. Hug each other!” and I thought that spoke volumes of how seeing him Mom and Dad embracing made HIM feel. So, this is not only good for each of the spouses, but for the kids too!!! Hooray for kissy faces… xo Cass @ The Unplugged Family

  6. Susie says

    LOL!!! I had to laugh! I read this just after I had walked my husband to the back door and got/gave the usual “have a good day peck” before he left for work. Wow, that was a wake up call :) Great topic!

  7. says

    I am being treated for a skin cancer on my lips and due to the kind of medication I am using to treat it, we have been unable to kiss for almost two weels. Oh how I miss it. My husband has commented several times how much he misses kissing as well. Kisses keep us connected more than we realize.

  8. Tommie says

    Even though I think good kisses are important, it does not mean for one second that my husband or I don’t love each other or the romance it’s gone when we do give a peck. Like this morning we had a great hug and a peck when he was leaving because a sloppy kiss with coffee breath and a headache at 5am wasn’t on my ‘to do list’. but we do enough ‘smooching’ that our boys giggle and roll their eyes. Hopefully people can realize that in a normal life you can’t always take your spouse for a 5 minute kiss, even though you may want to.

  9. says

    I am not a kisser either I prefer a hug. I don’t want anyone’s tongue in my mouth it’s invasive and gross. I don’t like to kiss my husband at all. We do not kiss the same at all and I am really good in the hygiene department on my teeth and he is not at all so forget it. I am okay with our level of not kissing lol. That sounds so incredibly bad but it’s the darn truth!

    • Lisa says

      I respect Lesley for sharing a truth about many marriages. I would like to enjoy kissing and intimacy, but that is not possible with a husband who prefers to consume coffee and other foods that make for sour breath and body odor. While I appreciate Courtney’s blog and already do all the “Good Godly Wife/Mother” things that she does, I am not reaping as much joy as she seems to, since most of my needs are rarely met, despite my attitude, faith, and actions. I had to laugh when I watched the video about saying “Yes” to her husband regarding intimacy. My husband is more interested in his hobbies and yardwork than pursuing me, so I cannot relate! I also wonder…what if her husband asks while the kids are awake, or she is on her treadmill?

  10. Debbi says

    I completed the kissing test last night~~boy was it fun! Hubs laughed so hard, I could barely lock lips. I told him about your blog, and he immediately agreed with you!!! We had another great kiss before his bedtime, and that time I laughed. I am so happy I found your blog yesterday! Look forward to more tests to keep our 41 year marriage rocking!!!

  11. says

    My husband asks while the kids are awake, and we find a way to distract them and enjoy one another. About the oral hygiene if my hubs breath is less than sweet I ask him to brush, which he does gladly because he knows what’s coming. Physical touch is his love language, so kisses and hugs are exchanged quite frequently throughout the day.


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