Women Friendships {In Opposite World}

Women Friendships In Opposite World

 

I got a phone call a few years back from a friend at church.  The girl called me to talk about our friendship that seemed strained. She called to see if anything was wrong (I LOVE that she took the time to call me).  I really had no issue with her –only that I could sense that she didn’t really like me. And I accepted the fact that not everyone in the world is going to like this fast talking, loud laughing, Bible girl…so I had made peace with it. We were polite in the halls at church but there was no real friendship.

So when she called to ask what was wrong? I didn’t know what to say…only that I felt like she didn’t like me but I didn’t know why.  Then she said it. She said her reason why.

“I don’t like the cheerleader type.  You were a cheerleader in school weren’t you?”

I gasped for words…I mean yes – I was *guilty* of being a cheerleader BUT we were grown adults with children.  I’m NOT a cheerleader now (unless yelling for my son while he dribbles down the court counts lol!)… nor have I been one in over 15 years!  So this felt like a strange thing to hold against me. Then she told me the story of some hurtful things cheerleaders did to her  in high school.

But these girls were not me and I was certainly not them. We are sisters in Christ –commanded to love one another – but the world had lied to her.  It told her that “my type” didn’t like “her type”. And “her type” had better not sell out to being friends with “my type.” The world had pitted us against each other before we even knew each other.

And the worst part –we are in the same family, the family of God.  We are are both the same type — sinners saved by grace. Two women, two wives, two mamas, –struggling in this fleeting world to live for Jesus. We share the same heart –truly this woman is a woman of God and we are the beauti{full} bride of Christ.

And oh church – when will we get this right? When will we realize that we live in opposite world and the world has lied to us and told us that size matters, color of skin matters, type of car matters, size of house matters, color of eyes matter, hair style matters, fashion matters, the guy on your arm matters, the number of children matters…

NONSENSE–it all does not matter in God’s economy!!!!!!!

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” ~ I Samuel 16:7

And we are all just a little messed up and twisted from years of drinking Opposite World’s Koolaid.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” ~ Romans 12:2

When we are in God’s word – he untwists the mess in our minds and truth takes the place of lies.

Friends, we must stop looking at the outer appearance of the girl in the pew beside us and placing judgements.  We are the family of God, one in Christ!  Our love for each other must look different than the world’s divisions.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” ~ John 13:35

How will the world know we are Jesus’ disciples?

By our love for one another.

Without a word.

People will know.

Just by our love.

Isn’t that powerful?!

Let’s walk in this truth and show Opposite World women friendships that love each other across worldly divides. We are one in Christ!

Chime In: How are your women friendships within your church?  Have you found a love that supersedes divides or has this been a struggle for you?  Share about a friendship where God has worked across divides in your life.

Walk with the King,

Comments

  1. says

    Oh how I wish I were never a part of “opposite world”! Being the minister of music at my church, attending a Christian college and being raised in the church caused me to be quite judgmental of a young lady who was … not like me. From the moment we met, there seemed to be such strife between the two of us. Satan had convinced me that she was not someone I should associate with and she believed the same of me. BUT GOD IS BIGGER! People who know us now, would never imagine the strife we caused one another, because this woman and I are now the closest of friends…aside from our husbands, of course!

  2. Amanda Worthington says

    I love your “Opposite World” posts! They are so encouraging as we remember that the worlds values aren’t always ours, and we must hold firm to God’s values….even if that means not always fitting in to this world.

  3. Priscilla says

    What a great post Courtney! I always read your blog but rarely make a comment. I´m an American but I´ve been living in Costa Rica since I got married 13 years ago. I became a Christian here but it is a struggle to find christian women to actually want a frienship. It´s like they all want to “be nice and polite in the church halls” but have no real friendship. It´s been really hard for me. You are right: the world has lied to us all so we feel alone and forgotten.

    • Arron says

      I agree with you, Priscilla. It’s hard to really truly connect with our sisters in Christ. I have found that leading, hosting, or attending a women’s Bible study is a great way to really connect and make deep friendships. I pray you can find one! Thank you, Courtenay for being available in friendship, too!!!

  4. says

    This was so encouraging to read! For a year now I’ve been praying about a particular relationship in my life that just doesn’t fit. This girl is family but I just cannot seem to connect with her on the “girly” stuff, let alone spiritual stuff. Obviously this familial relationship isn’t going away but I’ve been praying God would show me how I’m supposed to connect with this girl I have nothing in common with. But now I know all He wants me to do is love her :) Thank you for deciding to post!

  5. Cheryl Nelson says

    Curious…..that she called to ask a question about what something you did in high school. Godly has been working in her heart. Now it’s time for prayer for her.
    This senario reminds me of the fact that we are all new creatures in Christ. Lack of forgiveness if not delt with will grow into seeds of bitterness and spills into present and future relationships if not taken to the cross. This is an important reminder of how I need to keep myself on a short leash in having Him search my heart on a regular basis.

  6. says

    It’s funny–a girlfriend and I were just having a conversation about this topic just this morning! :) I truly think it has a lot to do with:

    #1: Being confident in who The Lord created you to be and the unique purpose He has set forth for you to do. When we are confident in Him, we aren’t worrying about competing with everyone else. We are unified and feeling the freedom to help others out.

    #2: Grace, grace! Always being gracious and showing others grace. :)

    Anyway, I pray that one day soon the women of Christ’s body will come together for His glory! Blessings!

  7. Christina Shannon says

    Courtney as of right now, I don’t have any girlfriends at church, I live too far from my church to be able to form any friendships. I feel more like an acquaintance at my church than anything else. I know that I am loved by my church family but I just do not feel that “friend” relationship there. That is the reason why I am so excited about being able to move back home because I do have friendships there both in the church and among my girlfriends.

    • Rachel says

      Don’t feel bad, Christina. I don’t have any girlfriends at my church either and my husband is a deacon and has a great social life there. A majority of the people in our church went to the same christian college and this seems to create a strong connection between them. I didn’t go to this school and don’t get the “inside jokes”. After struggling with this for 5 years, I’ve come to the conclusion that God just wants me to concentrate on my husband and children at this time of my life and that female friendships will come in His good time. Fortunately, my mom and sisters live close enough that I get to spend time with them occasionally. I hope moving back home helps.

      • rosanne says

        Rachel, I’m so glad you shared your heart on this…it is a very tough place to be. I am in the same place and you described well how others can have a strong connection (because of college). I have seen that when Christians in the church have a common bond (often from school), it is natural to stay in the comfort zone of those relationships and most don’t spend much time being open to invest much in new ones. Long ago God convicted me on being friendly with this verse: Pro 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. I am living proof that it works, unfortunately those ladies I have really worked on this with have all since left the church. God is always working and just as you, I know I need to wait for his timing and just be still…there is no better friend than him anyways :) Thank again for the reminder!
        Thank you Courtney for this post! That is so encouraging to hear that she at least came to you. One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn is that not all of my church family will like me, or want to open up to me…and just as your testimony goes, I have to assume those people who are very private, are hurt, and so now they have walls up…between us, even though I’m not the guilty party. It is refreshing to reflect on how someday God will take the walls down, some day we will all live in the presence of the Prince of Peace…and the hurting will have full healing. But in the meantime, that was an encouraging testimony :) thanks again!

  8. Val says

    I’ve had a very interesting relationship with another sister in Christ. She is a friend of a friend and has been a source of jealousy, insecurity and mistrust for me ever since she came into my life. But she’s been a catalyst for me to work through some of my own healing in these areas. I also continue to be drawn to her… despite my own worries that she is not the kind of woman that I feel I can trust. I know the Lord has brought us together for a number of reasons and I have a feeling He’s not quite done with this relationship. I struggle with loving her well when I have such intense feelings toward her, but I know I’m called to a higher standard here and am working through my feelings to be able to love her well as a sister in Christ.

  9. Jennifer says

    This a great post. One note I’d like to make is that differences do need to be talked about because people are so hurt by social injustices, but we should not let those differences define us. We love each other because we are all children of God, but that doesn’t change the fact that a lot of people are hurt by injustices in the world. When we are in a more privileged position (white, wealthy, etc.) we have to be aware of how others are affected by discrimination. The case of the woman who associated you with cheerleaders is somewhat different, but it sounds like she experienced some very hard things and is deserving of some empathy. (It doesn’t mean it’s okay to stereotype, and it’s hard to tell from your short description, but it sounds like she felt bad but was still struggling with her past wounds). It doesn’t usually help to cover up wounds, is what I’m saying. We need to talk about them so we can help people heal and create a better world.

  10. KellyK(@RNCCRN9706) says

    Great post Courtney! It’s hard to cultivate new friendships as an adult. The last woman I befriended was the one who had an affair with my husband :( I’m so busy working my full time job there is no time for finding a new female friend. All my friends live in my computer.

  11. Anon says

    KellyK – the same happened with me! How do you even trust other woman again…I feel like all of them are out there to hurt me! It bugs me that I don’t have very close friendships…I keep people at a distance.

    • KellyK(@RNCCRN9706) says

      I don’t! I’ve had TWO close friends betray me. The other one was my high school BFF. Haven’t talked to her in over 3 years. Once bitten twice shy. If God wants to bring me a friend, I’m welcome to the idea.

  12. says

    I’m sorry you received flack for your Opposite World series. I like it.

    A spiritual mother and friend of mine were talking the other day about how critical we are of other people. Our pastor recently talked on the subject of loving one another. And I keep going back to the idea that we are commanded to do one thing: love one another. Not judge. Not criticize. Love.

    Great post! I can tell (even though this probably wasn’t YOUR intention), that God is really working on me in this area. I am running across “just love them” messages left and right – something that often happens when I feel convicted in my heart about something.

  13. Marlea says

    I have never been one to ‘make friends’…they usually found me. When I was drawn back to the Lord, I didn’t socialize with anyone at my church. I had been attending a prayer group and loved dearly the women with whom I prayed. We had been praying for the leaders daughter, whom I had never met, and I guess the leader had been telling her daughter things that God had put on my heart for her. As you say, ‘in opposite world’, this gal and I would have never been friends…however, God had different plans! She is my “Purah”, God uses us in each others lives to speak the truth in love. We each have our own set of trials and triumphs, yet, as God would have it, while circumstances do not ‘look’ the same…we each are in the same spot at the same time…or one just ahead of the other and God uses that mightily in our lives! I thank God for my girl! We don’t ‘hang out’ or really talk much, often(oh, but when we do get together…days go by! lol) but when we touch base…one always has a word from God for the other…I am blessed to have her in my life.

  14. USHER says

    this couldn’t be more timely and encouraging. recently…i fell in a rift with my a close friend coz she began a relationship with another close friend of mine, making our friendship circle awkward. June was a crazy month for the three of us. though i am not in agreement with their relationship, for reasons i presented to them…i want to put it all away. the hurt, the pain , the questions raised to mind,. i wish things would go back to normal again…after-all John 13:35 puts everything into perspective. i am glad i read this article.

  15. Lori says

    The summer women’s Bible study just began at my church. The discussion leader went around the circle and asked each of us why we chose to attend this particular study. I was surprised that almost nobody mentioned the subject matter. Almost every woman there said for the fellowship with other women or that they were lonely and needed to meet other christian women. It really struck me that our churches are FILLED with lonely women. I think that our busy lives play a part in this, but also the fear of being real and letting others into our imperfect lives. For years I kept others at arms length because I felt like as a christian, I should have it all perfectly together. I also think that you nailed it in your post. We do stereotype and look for others who are “like us” to befriend. We recently moved across the country and I’m now trying to make friends in a new city. I’m also searching for where God can use me in this place. I am going to pray for an opportunity to turn my heart for these lonely women into a ministry opportunity. Thank you so much for this post. I love the Opposite World series. I hope you’ll post the others that you have written.

  16. Kellie says

    I love these opposite world post – they make me think am I really living the way Christ commanded. You have a post on “have you lost your edge” and these opposite world post keep us sharp. I’m going to pray for more!

  17. says

    I’m saddened by those who are so wounded that they lash out at anyone who tries to even sooth or get close to the pain or the source. Those who are “church women” by trade or need.

    My story is I have never felt close to many women. I have always had one or two close female friends but most of my closest buddies were always guys. And since I could remember, the female friends seemed to hurt me in some way or another. Whether it was stealing a boyfriend, backstabbing me, etc. in my “preschool” adult life, I seem to have a couple of friends that I would have never associated with when I was living for Opposite World. One tells me the truth and the other… I’m not quite sure why we are friends other than God places us together. We are sisters in Christ but she is not one I can cry to, not one I can vent to (without interruptions) and it seems to be our conversations are more about her than anything else. But to see us, you would think we were friends for a long time.

    I am also one of those who people, women, look at as a “charity” case because of my position, color, single parentese, whatever… and so their friendships are surface, more like therapy when the therapist is not really listening but trying to give advice and solutions (who said women aren’t problem solvers?!) rather than a shoulder and ear.

    Anyway, I love your posts about Opposite World! I say you cling to God’s promise and be courageous in your stance to expose the enemy’s weapons in Opposite World and how we all SO need a Savior to remain strong while visitors here. Thank you! And when you see an email that seems to be a very pretty wrapped bomb, pray for you that God would shield the blow, read with His eyes, decide whether or not to respond with the wisdom of Proverbs 26:4-5 and then pray for them and delete! I am praying for you!

  18. says

    “And oh church – when will we get this right? When will we realize that we live in opposite world and the world has lied to us and told us that size matters, color of skin matters, type of car matters, size of house matters, color of eyes matter, hair style matters, fashion matters, the guy on your arm matters, the number of children matters…

    NONSENSE–it all does not matter in God’s economy!!!!!!!”

    Well said Courtney! I really enjoy these Opposite World posts and it’s so hard for me to fathom the heart of a person who takes time to lash out at you in such ugly ways. I can’t imagine the hurt and confusion and lies that must be in their heart.

    I have several very safe friendships within the church. I have been very thankful for this! But there is also room for growth in my life in being friends with others who may not see eye to eye on certain things that are important in my life. I did not grow up in this church and it took me a long time to find good friends. I felt like most of the ladies held each other at arms length. But God asked me over and over to reach out and share my heart with others, and through that, they began returning the open heart and sharing, and friendships were born. So neat to watch God work when we take those steps he asks us to!

  19. Sheila says

    Courtney keep speaking the truth in love. The Lord has blessed you with a gift and you must use it. I appreciate your wisdom and honesty in all your posts.

  20. Jennifer W says

    I was a cheerleader too, my daughter is one now, and my youngest daughter will probably be one too. A while back I went to a girls weekend, where we were on the same floor as a group of cheerleaders. My friends, who are moms of mostly boys, griped and complained, saying they would give these girls a piece of their mind if they wake them up, etc. The focus was more that they were cheerleaders, than that they were just a bunch of fun, young, high schoolers. It upset me, because I felt like, “hey, wait a minute, are we sterotyping these girls for no reason other than a sport they like to participate in? Would it be different if it were a girls basketball team?” It also made me think, is this how people are going to talk about my daughter? Your post affirmed that my kids need to be who they are – cheerleader, dancer, and most importantly – Children of God, and we need to show love in EVERY situation, not just the ones where it is easy to do so!

    Thank you for the encouragement and reminder this morning!

  21. sarah says

    I’m so glad you posted this. I struggle a lot with believing what opposite world tells me. Especially about other women. Thanks so much for your post!

  22. Lisa says

    I live in a new town. I moved here when I married my husband two years ago. I have had a hard time making friends in a place that is very “clickish” but I have to say I have been more disappointed in the ladies at the churches (and yes, we have tried several) than I am in the women in “opposite world”. Shockingly the Christians are more judgemental and the women more caddy. I am a believer and I love the Lord but sometimes “other world” looks more loving…isn’t that a sad state in our witnessing and in our love for others

  23. Lindsay says

    Hi Courtney – love this post! I am very fortunate to be blessed with MANY friendships in my church. In fact, one of the reasons I joined my particular church was because after a retreat weekend, I discovered the majority of the women attended the church that sponsored the weekend.

    The best way I can describe my church and the friendships I have made through it, is that it feels like “home”. I have a HUGE support system in these ladies and they have become some of my closest friends. I wish and pray for other women that they would feel these connections as well. I can’t think of anything better than knowing you can surround yourself with Christ-like women – at church, at home and throughout life in general!

  24. Renee says

    WOW!!! This was very powerful. When we are kids living in an opposite world we are cruel to each. Its even more sad that this cruelty continues into adulthood. I have some words of encouragement for you. When you stopped posting about the Opposite World you allowed Satan to take root. You were speaking out against him in these posts. And for a while you were winning. He had to up the ante and took he got to you finally. You NEED to continue your Opposite World series. Its clearly not done. And it clearly takes a stand against him. It speaks the truth about God. When the heat gets hot that is when you need to take it up another notch. Its easier said than done to say that you should let others negativity roll off your back. However, I am pretty certain that Satan used your achiles heel against you. He’s like that you know…LOL You are a very strong, beautiful (inside and out) woman that is very inspiring to a lot of other folks (men and woman alike). Don’t back down against Satan. You truly are doing what God wants you to do even when you don’t feel like it sometimes.
    Many blessings to you
    Renee

  25. says

    Let me just say that I think your opposite world posts are fantastic and I would love if they were a regular series. I know you had a hard time with negative feedback (I never see any negative comments, but I’m guessing you get emails and perhaps delete the comments – which is completely understandable!) I am also a blogger who stepped away from a very controversial blog I had (well, some of the posts at least) because I felt so vulnerable. I’d have people commenting to me about birth control that I didn’t know, or just saying really intimate things to me in real life and I felt like I was just too “naked”. I needed to run for shelter.

    But now, I am starting to see that opening up to the public especially about my promiscuity as a teen and my desire to see modesty and purity in the world, is and was so important. It is a part of my healing journey but it is also a way for me to reach out to people from the comofrt of my own home and encourage them towards godliness.

    I hope one day you’ll see your opposite world posts that way Courtney. You are a beautiful woman of God. Sometimes it gets hot in opposite world, doesn’t it?

  26. says

    I loved your sentence ” Our love for each other must look different than the world’s divisions.”. That said it all! Beautifully written. Thank you for boldly and honestly sharing Jesus with us-even when it is hard. Your writing encourages and blesses so many. Even if your message isn’t received warmly, you have still planted the seeds. Thank you and God Bless you and your beautiful ministry!

    ~Blessings~
    Rebecca

  27. Mom says

    There is a women at my church who jsut rubs me the wrong way but all I do is pray about it. Asking God to take those feelings away, to open my eyes to see what He sees – not what I or the world sees. I can not imagine calling her though and saying “Hey, I dont like…”

    And I LOVE that you state God does not care how many children you have. I am less of a Mom or Child of God because I only have two?! If I have to reproduce every two years then are we still under the Law in other areas (head coverings, cutting hair, ect…).

  28. Angie says

    I didn’t read the series when you first posted it but I’m going through and reading it now and I have been so blessed. It is an excellent read and I hope you will continue with the posts you have yet to publish.

    It saddens me that there is so much infighting and crankiness [I'm opting for the polite word here ;) ] amongst professed Christians. :( It’s really ugly and I’m sorry you’ve been splattered with it in your attempts to shine light into a darkening world.

  29. Kristin says

    I have enjoyed the opposite world series and glad to see another post in it! I was disappointed when I read it though. I was hoping it was about how to be a friend in the opposite world to those who aren’t Christians. I see so many women seeking out friendships and being a godly friend while also maintaining my relationship with God is hard!

  30. Eileen says

    I was taught that learning how to stand up and pray next to people you don’t like makes you a better Christian. We are not commanded to “like” one another. We are commanded to LOVE one and other. We are not called to be friends. We are called to be brothers and sisters. I think we all have our “types” and that may not be an inherently bad thing because it challenges us to learn how to love each other in new and different ways. Just a thought. Enjoy your posts.

  31. says

    I hope we see some of those 216 unposted posts you’ve written! I think I am a little jealous as I have had some writers block…

    I will admit that there was a time I wasn’t super fond of the “cheerleader” type, long, long ago, and it is so easy to stereotype people and no good comes from that, surely we can rise above all that in our Christian walk, or at least be working on it.

  32. says

    Hi Courtney. I really enjoy the opposite world series and was looking forward to the post you alluded to of Women having it all in opposite world:)

  33. Cheryl Prall says

    Thank you so much for going back for another look at opposite world. Your previous posts were very reassuring and helpful to me. I feel so different from many others and it was encouraging to listen to another.

  34. Candice porter says

    Courtney
    I love your bubbly and lively self in God! His love shines all through you
    And glows upon your face! The God in you has encouraged me everytime I click to listen and learn!
    I too have encountered a precious soul sister that had an issue with me, but after confronting her kindly I realized te issue was not me, but the lies that our “true enemy” was feeding her. Though she never admitted the truth of her inappropriate and obvious behavior , The Lord began revealing the root cause. I pray for her and myself when those hurtful memories come to my mind to torment me. We are in Christ then we are called to love and love all no matter color, pedigree, status, rich or poor, obese or twiggy, quiet or loud, but were called to love and not hold a slight against another because someone else has hurt us in the past. God bless and help those that are Hurting and help those that take the blunt of others unresolved hurt while satan tries usin those hurts to guilt and oppress his true followers! Satan is the father of all lies!

  35. Danielle Hull says

    Great post! I wonder why I “click” with some women and not others and this has me thinking! I have had some great friendships with women not the same age as me, and I think that is an obstacle to overcome in the age segregation promoted in opposite world!

  36. Alicia says

    I LOVE the opposite world posts and hope you do more! They remind me of the perspective we as Christians should have. I think friendships can be difficult as women, even in church. I think one problem is we women get so busy and wrapped up in our own family’s needs and struggle to make friendships a priority, although we definitely need to.

  37. Katherine says

    Something you said in this post freed me of something I’ve been struggling with for about 5 years!! Thank you for being guided by the Holy Spirit and posting this. Praise be to God. I hope you will continue with the test of the Opposite World posts! :)

  38. Shelby Chamberlain says

    I always had a hard a hard time fitting in at most Churches , I was very young when I got married and gave birth to my first child , so I was to young to fit into the married ladies classes and to married and raising a child and did not fit into the college classes …. But Now days and in the small Church I’m in , it’s not about me anymore it’s about why I am there to worship God . Not fit into a “click” and I fit in all around now , I feel accepted by all my Sister-In -Christ…. Yes agreement is not an always thing , but it is wonderful that we all accept to love one another no matter what…….

  39. Jenny says

    A few years back, I had a a woman at my church that I just didn’t feel I clicked with. We were just so different or so I thought we were and I guess I was okay to keep my distance so to speak. But God didn’t want that I guess, because when the new list came out for the year for the prayer chain and who had to call who, her name was on my list. Every time a prayer request came through, I had to call that person. Sometimes it would be 2 or 3 times a day. What a way to build a relationship with somebody. Another person at church that I wasn’t so sure about, I drew her name as my “Secret Sister” and I was to pray over her for the year, send little gifts and cards and such. We serve an amazing God who has been sooo patient with me and who is teaching me so much!

  40. says

    Just finished reading your blog for the first time and already, you have been a blessing to me. I haven’t been able to “measure up” as a friend to some women in my days. Time and time again a warm, energetic friendship sizzled off along the way like a fire stomped on by the wind. What I didn’t realize is that from the beginning of those friendships, both of us were fighting the lies of the opposite world. But we don’t recognize our prejudices as lies. We judge others for being different than us and we pull away. That’s easy to do. Instead, we are to love unconditionally and focus on blessing other women through the service of our friendship. If we share the mind of Christ then we can stop separating ourselves from others, and collectively be the beautiful bride waiting for her groom.

  41. Robin says

    After reading your blog and the comments today, I realize how much I have in common with so many women. I thought I was the only one who had a hard time making, and keeping, close friends. I work so much and have very little time during the week so I do not spend time with anyone M-F. On weekends, the women I consider friends are busy with their families and closer friends so again, I do not really spend time with anyone. Outside of work, my email, facebook, pinterest, phone, and text messages are very quiet. I keep thinking something is wrong with me – that I am not good enough to be anyone’s friend or that I am not fun (funny) enough, spiritual enough, pretty enough, rich enough, and on and on and on. Why is it so hard for women to be friends?
    Why is it also so difficult for women to avoid being jealous of one another? I am struggling with a woman who is in music ministry with me. She is very talented, and one time several years ago made a comment about natural/god-given talent vs. learned talent. Her words stung, and I have never been able to get them out of my head. Now that we are leaders of our worship teams, I struggle with comparing myself with her, from song choices, to vocal talents, leadership styles, etc. It makes me sad, and I get onto myself every time I feel the jealously rear its ugly head, but I keep coming back to her comment, and my own lack of confidence. It is not her fault – I know this. Yet, I keep myself at a distance because I know she considers herself better than me. She is better than me! Everyone knows it, especially me. But that doesn’t make me less of a person, less of a leader, or less of a child of God. It just means she has talent in areas that I do not. Different – not better.
    Sorry to go on so long about that. I guess I needed to get that off of my chest. I am praying for women to get over ourselves, over the jealousy and comparisons, and open ourselves up to each other, looking for the treasure of friendship that can be.

  42. Amber says

    What a great post! Oh how it hit home for me. For years, I have felt the desire to find that one, or group, of friends who have all managed to move past the petty comparisons and on to the true purpose of friendship…support and encouragement. Every friendship or relationship(even with family) feels like they are all people who don’t share the same heart for God that I do. I long to find that friend I can swim upstream with.

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