The Women Living Well Book Club – Chapters 16-18 {My Struggles With Homemaking}

Chapters 16-18 My struggles with homemaking

Let’s Discuss Chapters 16-18

In today’s video I share my struggle to fit “homemaking” in, in the midst of homeschooling and blogging:

(If you cannot see this video - click here)

you are the key 2

Think back to when you were a child.  Was there a home that you LOVED visiting?  Maybe it was your grandmother’s or an Aunt’s or maybe it was a friend’s house or a neighbor’s.

What made that home seem special through your eyes?  Was it Pottery Barn Furniture (I love Pottery Barn by the way, so I’m not dissing it ;) ) or the squeaky clean bathrooms – or was it maybe the candy dish, the holiday decorations, the scent of food cooking or the hug at the door?

Sometimes I think, we are tempted to believe that we need everything we see on Pinterest or in Martha Stewart’s Magazine to have a home that is warm and inviting.  But it is our heart – the warmth of our heart – that will make our homes a haven.

T.H. Gibbings says “Why do we love certain houses, and why do they seem to love us?  It is the warmth of our individual hearts reflected in our surroundings.”

The most important thing is that we create an atmosphere of love, welcome and peace in our home.  We have the power to create calm in the chaos.  Do you need help getting to this point? Here’s 10 Ways to Change the Atmosphere of Your Home:

10 ways to change atmosphere of home

Discussion Questions

1.) Does homemaking come easy or hard for you?  What responsibilities and activities are you juggling in this season of life that makes homemaking a challenge for you?

2.) When it comes to routines in your week – do you have any regular ones?  Share them.

For Extra Discussion go to the Forum and click on the thread that says “Chapters 16-18″

Walk with the King,

Courtney

Bloggers:  Are you blogging your way through this book club with us?  Then link-up your blog post below.
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Please note that this link up has changed for the next 2 weeks.{if your linked-up post is not about the book club it will be removed}



Comments

  1. Now that we homeschool. trying to keep up on housework has been a huge struggle for me. Thank you for your honesty, and for your encouragement to not worry about keeping a perfect house.

  2. Rachel Waggoner says:

    I have the “10 Ways to Change the Atmosphere of Your Home” printed out and hanging by my kitchen sink. I read it every morning and I try to complete one thing on the list that day.
    Normally it is tickling my husband, although I enjoy it much more than he does. (:
    Thanks for the great advice! I love it!!!

  3. Good tips on tying to maintain a home. I don’t think it’s easy to maintain a home I think you just have to be intentional about doing it each day.

    I do light cleaning everyday, this help to keep the big mess down. I always clean up dishes and my kitchen before going to bed. I do laundry once or twice a week and cook enough food to store some in the freeze for other days. These are some of the ways I try to maintain my home.

    Peace to you.

  4. I have a toddler – will be 2 years in May. I find homemaking difficult because when I try to do things he often is following me around and wants me to play with him.

    I recently started a chore schedule, and a daily routine for my toddler. I am hoping that helps :)

  5. Such a great post! I shared it on my Facebook page! I’ve been promoting your book, and will continue to!
    https://www.facebook.com/mombyexample

  6. 1. Homemaking is a major weakness! I work all day with people, and it wears me out (even though I love it!), so when I get home I want to decompress. I need to remind myself that even 15 minutes at a time will get me there!

    2. My husband and I just talked this morning about setting up regular routines in this area. We both tend towards messy and want to work on it.

  7. Do you mind answering a question for me – how to do blog 20 hours a week? I just started a blog and it takes about 30 minutes to write a post. I’m curious what else you’re doing with blogging that takes 20 hours a week? Thanks so much!

    • Hi Katherine…where to start. Lol! Let’s see – reading and answering comments like this one ;) Reading and answering emails. Posting on Facebook, twitter, instagram, youtube and Pinterest and reading and answering all comments there – 7 days a week. Writing 3 blog posts a week here (takes me about 6 hours total) plus writing for Good Morning Girls and other guest posts every month. Setting up, recording, uploading, editing and posting a youtube video takes about an hour each time I do one. Making the graphic images take about an hour – as I find the perfect image, purchase it, then put the words on it and then upload it. Then there’s the reading of other’s books for endorsements, reviews and giveaways. Trips to the post office to mail out giveaways, trips to conferences and speaking, radio and podcast interviews…and the list really goes on and on as I have many projects always going and opportunities in my inbox every week. I could spend 40 hours a week easily on blogging if I didn’t manage my time well. I have to say a lot of “no’s” and ignore a lot of emails to keep it in this time frame.

      • Thanks so much for responding! I’m realizing that a blog won’t build itself. I really appreciate all the hard work you put into blogging. All of your posts and your book really have changed my perspective on motherhood and marriage. :)

  8. Homemaking is a challenge for most women – whatever your occupation status is- and is always a priority as well. I have three kids ,6 -4 -3, which on in Kindergarten and one in Preschool. I am a busy work from home mommy as I run a RV and Camper Rental business out of my home as well.

    I find time – I should say – I make time. A routine is the best way to stay up on it all. I also found that getting up early, for me, gives me the chance to light a candle, meditate on God’s Word, spend some time in prayer, and get ready to start my family’s day off right. This time that I have -before anyone else is up- gives me the rest that my soul needs to have to keep on top of all my priorities.

    I found that de-cluttering my house and throwing things out helps keep my home in order, too. The more you have the more you have to move around and work around. Make sense? While I am making leaps and bounds, there is always room for improvement. It is important to my husband and myself to keep on top of the kitchen. It is the first room you see when you walk into our house and when we get up in the morning. The second room I choose to stay on top of is our bedroom. Our only place in the house that is just for the two of us…it is a special place of intimacy and rest. A good night’s sleep can give you all the encouragement and energy you need.

    Sorry, got totally long winded! :)

  9. I don’t disparage anyone who struggles with homemaking. It took me a while to learn. But I think once you know what you’re doing, don’t forget to share the workload with your children. They make the majority of the messes and the more kids you have, the more helping hands you have. I taught my kids to help with housework as soon as they could toddle around. As they grew in coordination and skill, they not only gained confidence and skill, but they learned responsibility and how important it is to serve others. I have two left at home (sons) and they know how to do every household task there is (indoor and outdoor). Including cleaning the kitchen and cooking! I tell them that one day, if their wife has a baby or gets sick or laid up, they can help her out. :)

  10. I struggle with staying on task. Now that all my kids are in school, I struggle with being lonely. There are not a lot of stay-at-home moms in my community. It is also hard to find a balance between my writing and getting the things done around the home! I’d much rather write :) But if I put on my favorite music and dance around while I get the chores done, I tend to get much more done! And I strive to make MY home the one the kids all I want to come to!

  11. Kim Abbott says:

    Homemaking doesn’t come easy for me. I work so by the time I get home and cook dinner there isn’t much time in the day to do much of anything. If I do get a chance to do anything, it’s usually on the weekends..

  12. Housekeeping is SUCH a an area of weakness for me too! I also homeschool – my kids are 7, 5, 3, and nearly 5 months. And I work one evening a week outside the home. I feel with just homeschooling, keeping my family fed, and sticking to the bare minimum like dressing them and trying to keep toys picked up, the rest of my house is falling apart AND I can hardly find time to just play with my kids. It’s so overwhelming. I love the list of tips here for changing the atmosphere of your home. On another note, my baby had just finished nursing when I turned your video on, so she watched it with me and was giving you sweet baby smiles the whole time. :)

  13. Now that we have moved our real estate office to our home homemaking has become so much easier and less crazy. It was very hard to be motivated to start dinner and clean after a long day at the office. When the phones aren’t ringing and there is no paperwork to do I do mini tasks around the house just to stay on top of things. We do not have children so I usually do not have a huge mess, except for the hubby’s office, LOL.

    I have tried several chore charts but the one I am LOVING right is from a Youtuber called Do ItOnADime, it is her cleaning schedule for 2014. The thing I love the most has been the rotating tasks every 4 weeks, this is deep cleaning of an area. I have been doin this for about 2mths it really seems to fit. She also has has some really good crockpot meals. The reason I believe this schedule is working is since I tidy up durig the week I do not feel gulity doing things on the weekend since our home is clean and tidy.

  14. I loved the tips and encouragement in these chapters!! I wouldn’t say that homemaking comes naturally to me. It has been difficult to strike a balance between staying at home to care for our young sons (2 & 4) and keeping up with housekeeping, etc. As the joke goes, some days it’s like brushing your teeth while eating oreos :) I don’t currently follow a weekly routine, but I’m intrigued by the idea; I might have to think about that some more for our family.

  15. Home making never came easy for me. Growing up my mom took care of everything so she never got around to teaching me how to cook, do laundry, keep house, etc. Fortunately I like cleanliness and organization so those things came naturally to me. The next thing to learn was how to cook. I could cook anything that came in a box with directions. From there I decided to branch out to homemade recipes. At first I made a lot of mistakes but I kept at it and now after 20 years of marriage I am very very confident in the abilities that God has taught and given to me. Like a few ladies have said here, having children learn to do chores and help out around the house is key. I use to do it all and at the end of the day I was SO exhausted and burned out. My husband told me I needed to start delegating to our children. He was SO right! having the children help and do chores strengthens them in many areas such as learning how to serve others and their family, working as a team to accomplish a goal/task, and cleaning and cooking skills they can take with them whenever they leave home. They also know how to do outside chores as well. Because we’ve brought our children along side us to learn these skills we work so well together as a family and we learn what makes each other tick. Things get done in a timely manner. Everyday when they wake up they know exactly what’s expected of them. I homeschool so chores get done in the morning, we break for lunch and then get right into school. There are days that someone gets sick, we just step in where they aren’t able. One thing I’ve taught my boys is this….if you see something that needs to be done, do it without being asked. That goes a long way!
    One thing that is very important and some parents may over look when it comes to chores and cooking are boys. We may assume that since we have boys they only need to learn how to do outside chores however this isn’t true. My boys may leave home before they get married so I want them to know how to clean and cook for themselves. I want them to know how to do laundry and be self sufficient. That will bleed over into their marriage. They get married and have children. It will be important for my sons to know how to help out around the house while their wife is pregnant and even after she gives birth. It is important for them to learn how to function as a team with his wife one day. Taking their servants hearts to their spouses and the homes they build with them. It truly is all about love, servitude and team work.

  16. About 10 years ago I had an epiphany…routine and family traditions are important in creating a haven for our families. A few ways we do this in our home…
    1.) We have a game night.
    2.) We have a movie night with homemade popcorn and healthy snacks.
    3.) We come together every morning and evening for devotions.
    4.) We have taco Tuesdays.
    5.) We always have 1-2 family outings every month like bowling, eating out, etc.
    6.) We home church on the weekends.
    7.) We homeschool.
    8.) We have Sunday brunch every Sunday.
    9.) Persian tea every morning (I am Persian so this is a must for me!).
    There may be other things that I’m missing but you get the point.
    Also, I don’t like to cook but I like to eat (and so does my family) so the other thing that helps with organization is planning a menu every 2 weeks. I go grocery shopping every 2 weeks so having a menu planned out in advance saves me time and money. I never use to think this was true until I tried it and it is true. It also gives me a chance to find new recipes and to make healthy meals that nourish our bodies. We also have gluten and dairy allergies in our family so meal planning is very important for that as well.

  17. Ok, this comment has nothing to do with the chapters we’ve read. But I just had to share cuz it was cute! I am sitting at the kitchen table with my 1 1/2 year old in her high chair next to me. I’m waiting for a video to upload to facebook and it’s taking FOREVER. So I thought I’d watch your video while waiting. I started playing the video and Alice’s smile slowly spread over her face at the sound of your voice. LOL! Then the video paused to buffer and she said, “Uh oh.”
    That’s right, Alice. Uh oh. :)
    Now back to your video. :)

  18. I apologize! I didn’t read clearly about the link up and I didn’t know how to remove my link!!! Sorry!

    Thanks!
    Lauren

    PS: Loved your site for some years now!

  19. Growing up I too wasn’t given any responsibility in household chores or cooking, though we did some cooking and baking at school, and I loved making cookies and cakes at home.
    On the other hand my husband had to take on full responsibility in everything in the home in his mid teens due to family circumstances!
    In my homemaking I’ve had to learn as I’ve gone along, I did learn some organizational skills from work before I was married which has helped me a great deal in taking care of organizing and domestics.
    My Mom always says to me, housework will always be there ! How true that is after I’ve tidied and cleaned up its back again. i always like to keep focused, but not get too stressed out about it. Whilst doing my everyday chores I like to keep up the motivation and momentum; It really helps if I’m listening to some upbeat worship music.

  20. KellyK(@RNCCRN9706) says:

    I don’t feel so bad that my Mom didn’t teach me to cook either. Funny thing though, through college, I worked summers as a short-order cook at the local truck stop! LOL! Made some good friends. Not all truck drivers are bad. A few even came to my wedding in 1999! One came in from Canada for the weekend :) Still don’t like to cook! I could make eggs and pancakes SO much easier on the nice big FLAT griddle than in a small tiny pan at home ;) My Grandma used to say, if you can read, you can cook. Learned to make steaks in the broiler. NEVER had one of my steaks returned for being improperly cooked ;) Also had compliments on my liver and onions, oatmeal. Yeah, I did a pretty good job as a cook. Proved the manager wrong. Started out as a dishwasher. When the full-time 2nd shift cook up and quit. I said, half jokingly, so, when you gonna teach ME to cook? He laughed me off. Well, a few days later, he took me up on my offer and I did that job for three more years. I was reliable. Never called off. I lived less than 2 miles away. They never had to come pick me up because I didn’t have a ride to work. I worked there until I needed full time hours in the summer before my final year of college as I bought a new to me car that came with higher payments and was told NO, even though I was the one who did my work, unlike the other person who did the same job…so I found a new job and quit…their loss. The business is no longer there. The owner died about 4 years later from kidney cancer….the SAME disease I ended up getting 15 years later. yet I survived….HOW IRONIC IS THAT???

    I work during the week, at night. So I catch up on the housework during the weekends. Hubby is currently laid off from work so he’s playing the role of house husband and taking care of the household tasks, as he should since he’s home during the weekdays right now. When he is working we share household responsibilities.

  21. I’m still arming in this area. For the first 13 years of my marriage I was awful in this area. I busied myself with everything else and never made time for housework and rarely cooked. I used the excuse of working full-time and running a business. Last summer The Lord truly convicted me in this area and re-prioritized my life and began being more attentive in this area. I’ve closed my business which has helped me to refocus my life where it should be: God and my family. Now I love to cook for my family. On the days where I feel as if I can’t get through my housework, I put on some praise music or listen to an online sermon to get me through. My husband will usually do the laundry for our family, which is a great help. I always try to put fresh flowers in the table to create our home as a haven. I love the tips that you listed Courtney and plan to incorporate them into my routine.

    This was an amazing study and I have enjoyed reading the book, sharing and learning from you and others.

I love hearing what is on your heart.

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