The Effects of Feminism On Women in the Church

Rural Church, Midwest, Ohio, near Akron, USA

 

Today we conclude our series titled: {Radical} Women –Living Well.

As we study Titus 2:3-5, we find the passage quite simple to understand:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbandsthat the word of God may not be reviled. (esv)

It’s simple to understand Titus 2:3-5.

So extremely simple.

But so extremely difficult to live out, in a world where feminism has blurred the thinking of women in the church.  Women who have been taught by the world rather than God’s Word, what to value.  Then they bring these values into the church.

But we are not to value the world’s philosophies – but rather obey the Word of God.  Conflict is raised – even within the church – when we talk about women’s roles and this is why living according to Titus 2 is truly {Radical} living!

Last Friday, I mentioned in my blog post how I have emptied trash cans, hung towels, emptied laundry baskets and hung my husband’s pants probably a thousand times.  A woman commented:

“Aren’t you treating your husband like a child, cleaning up after him?”

When we take care of our husband by doing work in the home for him –are we treating him like a child?  Should he be left to take care of himself – do his own laundry, cook his own meals, empty his own trash cans, make his own bed, and hang his own pants?

This is a very real and valid question to ask – especially within the culture we live where both men and women work and both men and women split household chores.  In our home, I homeschool 20 hours a week during the school year while balancing around 30 hours a week of blogging.  My plate is full…but my husband’s needs remain at the top of my to-do list.

Some women are married to neat freaks who never leave a towel on the floor and always do their own laundry. Others are married to a man who shows love through acts of service and so though he may not enjoy doing these things, he lovingly does them to help out.  While others – like my husband, prefer to not do these sorts of chores after a long day of work.  The Bible does not clearly tell us how to divide housework in the home.  So there is not a “one-size fits all” approach.  But all husbands have needs in the home and their needs should be a priority to us.

Now in answer to the reader’s question, my husband certainly does not feel like he is treated like a child in our home. He is the respected head of the house. And when I do these things for him – he feels loved and cared for.  If anything – he feels like a king (Lol!) and he knows his wife is unique and I think that makes him love me all the more.

Many women go to work and do whatever their boss asks them to do.  It’s interesting that these women are willing to do so much for a paycheck – yet so little for the man they make love to.  Does the work of cooking, cleaning, rocking babies and teaching children only become valuable if we are paid to do it for someone else’s kids or home?

Feminism would lead you to believe this.  But the Bible flip flops this completely and tells women in Titus 2 to love our husband and children and do work in our homes – not for a paycheck or man’s praise but for a more important reason…

“that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:5)

Revile means to discredit, dishonor, or condemn.

So why does God ask women to do these counter-cultural things?

That the word of God would not be dishonored and discredited.

Have we considered that living just like the world discredits the word of God?  Have we  allowed feminist thoughts to   deceive us?  God does not tell us to do this just for our own sake – but for His sake – for His glory.

Feminism is as old as the garden of Eden. In Genesis 2, God commanded Adam to not eat fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.  Eve was deceived by the serpent and took a bite despite being told by Adam to not eat of the tree.  Then she gave some to her husband Adam to eat.  Eve usurped her husband and sinned first in Genesis 3  but in Romans 5 – it is Adam who is held responsible, as the head of the household, for their sin.

You see, {radical} living requires {radical} obedience to God’s word.  And obedience is hard – and so like Eve – we make excuses for why we should not obey God’s word.  It’s easy to come up with excuses because the feminists have been training us through media for years.  It’s easier to follow their ways than God’s but like Eve in the garden, in the end, it leads to pain and suffering and it leads to Christianity being discredited.

And Titus 2 is pretty simple to read…and understand. But it asks a lot of us as women. It requires us to think differently than the world, differently than the feminist agenda and differently at opportunities that come our way.

Are you willing to be a {Radical} Woman –Living Well?

It’s more simple than some would like you to believe.

Go love on your husband and children, be self-controlled, pure, do your work at home, and be kind and submissive to your husband.  Obey Titus 2:3-5.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

***This post is a part of the Summer {Radical} Women Living Well Series.  Here are the other posts in this series.

{Radical} Women –Living Well

4 Qualities of {Radical} Older Women

4 {Radical} Ways to Love Your Husband and Children

5 {Radical} Qualities Young Women Should Pursue

5 {Radical} Qualities Young Women Should Pursue

5 Radical qualities young women should pursue

Older women are not off the hook with this post…because all of the qualities listed for young women to learn –older women should be role-modeling for us.  Now remember, grace.  We are all a work in progress and none of us will have these mastered perfectly…ever.   That is why we need the power of Jesus in our lives.  He helps us become the {radical} woman he calls us to be.

Titus 2:3-5 says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

This list from Titus 2 is truly {Radical}.

Let’s take a look at the 5 {Radical} qualities young women should pursue according to Titus 2:5.

1.) Self-Control  

A {radical} young woman pursues self-control.  She is self-controlled with her spending habits, her words, her temper, her appetites, her priorities, and her use of time.  As she pursues intimacy with God, her soul is satisfied and she finds contentment and strength through his Spirit.  A woman who has self-control is a woman who has a strong prayer life.  I find myself regularly calling out to God in moments of weakness asking God to please give me strength to have self-control.  If you are in this place today – go to God’s throne and ask him for self-control.  He wants to help you.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. ~ I Timothy 6:6

2.) Purity

The greek word for purity here is ‘hagnos’ and is referring to moral and sexual purity.  A {radical} young woman is faithful to her husband. She is not a flirt, she dresses modestly, she is trustworthy and has a pure heart.  In a world where purity is mocked and immorality is glorified, she stands out as one who is not polluted.  Singers and actors applauded with Oscars, Emmys and other awards, flaunt their sexuality and the world idolizes it.

But God says ” Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4

3.) Working at Home

First I want to focus on the word – “working“.  A Godly woman is not lazy – she is to be a hard worker.

Now the “at home” part. Oh dear, must we get so controversial?  Scripture says it – so I can’t skip over this.  When Paul wrote Titus 2 – he did not feel the need to qualify it.  In his culture, women would have been expected to sew the family’s clothing, plant a garden,  grind her own wheat, cook over fire, wash the clothes down by a river, care for the children, care for the poor and open her home to guests.  Her work in the home was a necessity to survival.

But many of these women helped the family out financially by selling some of the things they had sown (like the Proverbs 31 woman or Lydia the seller of purple), or selling baked goods or teaching children.  This passage does not forbid women to earn an income.   But a {radical} young woman should be especially skilled in her homemaking abilities.

{Radical} women – we should shine like lights in a dark world. We should love maintaining a warm cozy home for our family and those passing through.  Our home should stand out as the most inviting place in the neighborhood – and  I’m not talking about having the best decorations. Let’s not treat housework as a mindless, brain numbing, waste of time —as the world would convince us to believe.  Clearly – God values women “working at home” so much that he put it in scripture.  We should value what God values.

 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. ~ Proverbs 31:27

(for more encouragement on diligence in the home, subscribe to Women Living Well and receive my free Proverbs 31 ebook and video series.)

4.) Kind

A kind woman is a {radical} woman who is careful with her words, generous, thoughtful and compassionate.  She is cheerfully helpful and gracious when wronged.  Her husband and children see her as a kind woman.  Would your family describe you this way?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22, 23

5.) Submissive to their own husbands

First, I love that this passage specifies — submission “to our own” husband.  Women are not inferior to men and we are not to submit to ALL men.   There’s just one specific relationship where God has called us to submit and it is to our husband.  This is where feminists unite and have a bra burning.  But a {radical] young woman – doesn’t participate in those.  She stands out in this modern world as a woman who allows her husband to take the lead.  Like a couple doing a ballroom dance, the husband leads as she follows and together their life is beautiful. Is learning the dance difficult and frustrating at times?   You bet. That’s why we need older women – role modeling and teaching younger women how to dance well.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. ~ Colossians 3:18

In conclusion, every woman should strive to be a Titus 2 Woman.  Some of us need to work on becoming the Titus 2 older woman.  Others of us need to work on becoming the Titus 2 younger woman.  Most churches fail to encourage and create an environment where this sort of mentorship takes place.  We have organized retreats and events – but real life connections where older women connect and teach and train younger women – specifically how to love their husbands and children and how to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their husbands…are woefully lacking.

{Radical} Women – I plead with you – reach out to each other.  Connect with each other. Give each other grace and love and kindness and together let’s pursue becoming Titus 2 {radical} women – to the glory of God!

Chime In: Young Women – what are you pursuing?  Are you pursuing the above 5 qualities that God has called us to pursue?  Which do you find the hardest?

Older Women, who are you teaching and training to become like the above?

Walk with the King,

Courtney

***This post is a part of the Summer {Radical} Women Living Well Series.  Here are the other posts in this series.

{Radical} Women –Living Well

4 Qualities of a {Radical} Older Woman

4 {Radical} Ways to Love Your Husband and Children

The Effects of Feminism on Women In the Church

4 {Radical} Ways To Love Your Husband & Children

playful family hand in hand running in forest

The modern women of today, want it all.

We want husbands, children, college degrees, corner offices, a big house, weekends away with the girls, designer bags, a size zero waist, no wrinkles and to be –world travelers.

But keeping a family together in the midst of those pursuits…is tough.

Let’s face it – husbands and children get in the way.  Husbands take time, compromise, and energy to please.  Children stretch our waist lines and fill our designer bags with diapers and sippy cups – hardly the life we imagined.

And so when reality sets in that our husbands and children are “taking” things from us – things we so desperately desire – dreams, goals, time and money to pursue our interests…we can grow bitter.

And a bitter wife and mama – isn’t pretty.

Titus 2:3-5 says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Today we want to focus on the first 2 things older women in the church are to teach younger women.

1.) To love their husbands.

2.) To love their children.

We might assume it’s natural to love our husband and children –but sadly it is not. We are born with a sin nature and loving our family the way God would have us love them – takes the power of Jesus in our lives transforming us and helping us to display the fruit of the Spirit.

Martha Peace says that a Titus 2 woman needs to teach the younger women “to think loving thoughts, hold her accountable to be kind and tenderhearted, teach her to express affection and delight in her children and teach her how to lovingly administer godly discipline.”

4 {Racical} Ways to Love Your Husband and Children 

1.) Think loving thoughts.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 says love is patient, kind, not rude or self-seeking, not easily angered and on and on the list goes.  I encourage you to read this passage (and memorize it).

We need to apply true genuine love in our homes.  This means when our husband is late –we are patient.  When our children misbehave — we do not scold them rudely.  When our husband needs our help –we are not self-seeking.  When our children disobey — we are not easily angered.  A Christian home should be warm and loving as we reflect the love of Jesus to our families.

2.) Be Kind and Tenderhearted.

Ephesians 4:31 & 32 tells us we are to put away all bitterness, anger and slander and be kind and tenderhearted.

When our husband or children push every last button – often we explode and what comes out is ugly.  Much verbal abuse is a result of bitterness, anger and slander…a {radical} woman of God exchanges these sinful traits with kindness, compassion and a tender heart.  Is your heart tender toward your family? Do you display compassion?  If you struggle with this, ask God to soften your heart and memorize Ephesians 4:31 & 32.

3.)  Express Affection and Delight in Your Husband and Children

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth– for your love is more delightful than wine.” (Song of Solomon 1:2)  Our husbands need our affection. They need us to hold their hand, rub their back, and greet them at the door with a smile and a kiss.  They need to know we don’t just love them but that we like them – we delight in them.  Have you done this lately?

Psalm 127:3 tells us “children are a gift from God”.  But some mothers have chosen to leave their children for a boyfriend or to chase their dreams –or worse they have aborted them.  Some women never leave the home but their hearts are far from their children.  The shell of the mom is there in their lives but she is not interested in getting on the floor and playing a game or listening to what is on her child’s mind. Others are so incredibly obsessed with making their children perfect, so they can look good, they push their children away.

Give out hugs and kisses generously.  Look your children in the eye when they are sharing a very long…long…story.  Listen to them.  Let them know you delight in them. Tell them you love watching them swim or jump on the trampoline. Tell them how much joy it brings you that they are your little girl or boy. Delight in your husband and children.  Shower your family with affection.

4. Lovingly Administer Godly Discipline

Hebrews 12:11 says “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”  Disciplining our children is important.  And HOW we discipline is even more important. Some mothers are too harsh, commanding, and controlling.  Other mothers give too much freedom and their children walk all over them.  And still other mothers focus on self-esteem or making excuses for their children.

The world cannot teach a Christian mom how to discipline because when we discipline, we should always be guided by the principles of God’s word.  This means we need to know God’s word. We need to be reading our Bibles.  The world is not guided by God’s word — so we cannot follow their parenting ways. Our goal in discipline must be to reach our child’s heart, bring them to the foot of the cross and “produce a harvest of righteousness and peace.”  I believe that we must be doing  numbers 1 through 3 from above, before our discipline will be effective.  We must be loving, kind, compassionate, and affectionate because it is within this sort of relationship that God works.

Love.

God is love.

And the greatest commandment is that we love God.

And the second greatest commandment is that we love others.

And the Titus 2 older woman is to teach the younger women…how to love.

Love your husbands and children.

In good times and bad a {Radical} woman keeps on loving.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

***This post is a part of the Summer {Radical} Women Living Well Series.  Here are the other posts in this series.

{Radical} Women –Living Well

4 Qualities of a {Radical} Older Woman

5 {Radical} Qualities Young Women Should Pursue

The Effects of Feminism on Women in the Church

 

How to Banish Bitterness in Marriage

 

This post is a part of the Summer Marriage Splash Series!  I have teamed up with 5 bloggers for 5 days with 5 books!

Each day a different blogger is offering encouragement for marriage and then we pass the virtual baton to the next author who will be posting the day after.

Summer Marriage Splash - Reading 2014[2]

Today is my day and then here is the schedule for the rest of the women.

I hope you’ll get the chance to visit each and every one of them and benefit from their wisdom and insight. You’ll be very glad you did!

Since today is my turn, I’m sharing an excerpt from my book, Women Living Well. I hope you enjoy it, and most of all, I hope your marriage is refreshed as we banish bitterness.

 

Do you want to be better Study the Bible.

Sometimes our marriage problems are all in our heads. I’m not saying we’re crazy, but I am saying our thought patterns affect our marriages. We can give respectful lip service and appear on the outside to be very respectful toward our husbands, but on the inside be eaten up with bitterness.

Hebrews 12:15 warns, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

How to Banish Bitterness

Confess your bitterness. Get alone in prayer, and confess your bitterness as sin to God.

Filter your thoughts. Put a biblical filter on your thoughts.

My personal filter is Philippians 4:8, ” Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

I use this verse to frisk all my thoughts about my husband at the door of my mind.

When I have a thought about my husband, I ask myself, “Is this a noble thought? Is this pure? Is this lovely? Admirable? Praiseworthy?” If it is not, I must do what 2 Corinthians 10:5 says: “Take every thought captive to obey Christ.” I must make my thoughts obedient to Christ.

Replace bitterness with thankfulness. We must not let those thoughts swirl in our heads because eventually everyone in the family can see it in our demeanor, our lack of joy, and even in our words. It can’t be hidden. Let’s replace those thoughts with thankful thoughts full of grace.

If you are looking to overcome bitterness in your marriage realize that this is not something that will happen overnight. It’s a lifelong journey of guarding your mind and your marriage. The enemy would love to get a foothold in your marriage using bitterness, so beware! Put Philippians 4:8 as a filter over your mind.

Be free from bitterness.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

Summer Marriage Splash Book Recommendations:

Wife After God by Jennifer SmithWife After God by Jennifer Smith

“Whether you are going through a rough patch in your marriage (like we all do!) or your marriage is doing wonderfully, there is something in here to encourage, challenge you and help you improve your marriage and your walk with The Lord.” ~ Amazon review

Unveiled Wife: Encouraging Wives Daily

 

 

Team US by Ashleigh SlaterTeam US: Marriage Together by Ashleigh Slater

“Team Us is a lighthearted, encouraging read with a poignant message: marriage is one of the greatest adventures God gives us in this life. Make the most of it!” ~ Amazon review

AshleighSlater: Encouraging Couples to do Marriage Together

 

 

200429208-001100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson

“This is a “must have” little book for every married woman or yet to be married woman! It comprises 100 practical little thoughts, well laid out and each one profound and challenging in its own way.” ~ Amazon review

Club31Women: Sharing a Passion for Husband, Home and Family

 

 

 

The Virtuous LifeThe Virtuous Life of a Christ Centered Wife by Darlene Schacht

“Powerful, is right. This is such an encouraging and challenging book for any wife to pick up – whether she’s newly married or been married for many years.” ~ Amazon review

Time-WarpWife: Keeping Christ at the Center of Marriage

 

 

Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph

Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph

“I came away from the book with practical tips to loving my family better, making my home a haven and strengthening my relationship with Christ.” ~ Amazon review

WomenLivingWell: Finding Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids and Your Home

So Excited To Share Something New With You!

faith focused wives

Here at Women Living Well, we discuss lots of topics.  We discuss theology, marriage, parenting, homemaking, homeschooling, my daily life, recipes and other odds and ends.  Do you know what the number one topic is that I get the most email questions about?

Marriage.

I believe that the foundation of the family is under attack.  Many of us come from broken hearts, broken homes, broken pasts and let’s just face it – even if we come from a solid Christian home – we are sinners and we married a sinner and that makes marriage hard.

The culture has made it difficult to love God, his word and his ways.  And so we need each other.  We need each other for encouragement, inspiration, accountability, advice, a listening ear, prayer and fellowship.

This is why I am so excited to share something new with you!

I was recently invited by my friends Darlene and Jennifer to join an amazing community through Facebook for wives called Faith-Focused Wives.  This is a closer kind of community.  Instead of a regular page of encouragement on Facebook, where you may miss some of the posts, this is a private group where women can truly connect in an intimate way.

Darlene, Jennifer, and myself are bloggers who are all passionate about sharing God’s love story and helping wives persevere. Our hope is to pour time into this group and really be available for you to connect with us and others.

To Join The Group Just Click HERE And Then Join!

FFWBANNER

I would love for you to get to know the wonderful women I am contributing with in this community – if you don’t know them already!

Darlene Schacht is an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of her life. She started Time-Warp Wife.com in 2010 out of a place of grace, with a passion to encourage women in their marriages. She and her husband Michael live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, they have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone’s babies, especially hers! Their lives are basically surrounded with three things: faith, music and everything books. She’s an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God. Her newest book is The Virtuous Wife of a Christ-Centered Life.

Jennifer Smith is a Christian, a wife and a mother of one.  Those are her three most important priorities in life, in that order. In March of 2011, she launched, Unveiled Wife. She started the blog to share with other wives the struggles and the healing she encountered in her first few years of marriage.  By God’s grace it has grown into much more than she ever  imagined, reaching women from all around the world who have joined together in her Facebook community of almost 200,000 women. She believes that if you want a thriving marriage, you must be intentional about it. Jennifer has also authored the popular book called, Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God and Your Husband.

If You’d Like To Join Our Community, Visit Us On Facebook. Hop On Over, Click The “Join” Button, And One Of Us Will Add You To The Group. Also, Please Take A Moment And Share This Great News With Other Wives You Know!

Walk with the King,

Courtney