5 {Radical} Qualities Young Women Should Pursue

5 Radical qualities young women should pursue

Older women are not off the hook with this post…because all of the qualities listed for young women to learn –older women should be role-modeling for us.  Now remember, grace.  We are all a work in progress and none of us will have these mastered perfectly…ever.   That is why we need the power of Jesus in our lives.  He helps us become the {radical} woman he calls us to be.

Titus 2:3-5 says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

This list from Titus 2 is truly {Radical}.

Let’s take a look at the 5 {Radical} qualities young women should pursue according to Titus 2:5.

1.) Self-Control  

A {radical} young woman pursues self-control.  She is self-controlled with her spending habits, her words, her temper, her appetites, her priorities, and her use of time.  As she pursues intimacy with God, her soul is satisfied and she finds contentment and strength through his Spirit.  A woman who has self-control is a woman who has a strong prayer life.  I find myself regularly calling out to God in moments of weakness asking God to please give me strength to have self-control.  If you are in this place today – go to God’s throne and ask him for self-control.  He wants to help you.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. ~ I Timothy 6:6

2.) Purity

The greek word for purity here is ‘hagnos’ and is referring to moral and sexual purity.  A {radical} young woman is faithful to her husband. She is not a flirt, she dresses modestly, she is trustworthy and has a pure heart.  In a world where purity is mocked and immorality is glorified, she stands out as one who is not polluted.  Singers and actors applauded with Oscars, Emmys and other awards, flaunt their sexuality and the world idolizes it.

But God says ” Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4

3.) Working at Home

First I want to focus on the word – “working“.  A Godly woman is not lazy – she is to be a hard worker.

Now the “at home” part. Oh dear, must we get so controversial?  Scripture says it – so I can’t skip over this.  When Paul wrote Titus 2 – he did not feel the need to qualify it.  In his culture, women would have been expected to sew the family’s clothing, plant a garden,  grind her own wheat, cook over fire, wash the clothes down by a river, care for the children, care for the poor and open her home to guests.  Her work in the home was a necessity to survival.

But many of these women helped the family out financially by selling some of the things they had sown (like the Proverbs 31 woman or Lydia the seller of purple), or selling baked goods or teaching children.  This passage does not forbid women to earn an income.   But a {radical} young woman should be especially skilled in her homemaking abilities.

{Radical} women – we should shine like lights in a dark world. We should love maintaining a warm cozy home for our family and those passing through.  Our home should stand out as the most inviting place in the neighborhood – and  I’m not talking about having the best decorations. Let’s not treat housework as a mindless, brain numbing, waste of time —as the world would convince us to believe.  Clearly – God values women “working at home” so much that he put it in scripture.  We should value what God values.

 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. ~ Proverbs 31:27

(for more encouragement on diligence in the home, subscribe to Women Living Well and receive my free Proverbs 31 ebook and video series.)

4.) Kind

A kind woman is a {radical} woman who is careful with her words, generous, thoughtful and compassionate.  She is cheerfully helpful and gracious when wronged.  Her husband and children see her as a kind woman.  Would your family describe you this way?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22, 23

5.) Submissive to their own husbands

First, I love that this passage specifies — submission “to our own” husband.  Women are not inferior to men and we are not to submit to ALL men.   There’s just one specific relationship where God has called us to submit and it is to our husband.  This is where feminists unite and have a bra burning.  But a {radical] young woman – doesn’t participate in those.  She stands out in this modern world as a woman who allows her husband to take the lead.  Like a couple doing a ballroom dance, the husband leads as she follows and together their life is beautiful. Is learning the dance difficult and frustrating at times?   You bet. That’s why we need older women – role modeling and teaching younger women how to dance well.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. ~ Colossians 3:18

In conclusion, every woman should strive to be a Titus 2 Woman.  Some of us need to work on becoming the Titus 2 older woman.  Others of us need to work on becoming the Titus 2 younger woman.  Most churches fail to encourage and create an environment where this sort of mentorship takes place.  We have organized retreats and events – but real life connections where older women connect and teach and train younger women – specifically how to love their husbands and children and how to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their husbands…are woefully lacking.

{Radical} Women – I plead with you – reach out to each other.  Connect with each other. Give each other grace and love and kindness and together let’s pursue becoming Titus 2 {radical} women – to the glory of God!

Chime In: Young Women – what are you pursuing?  Are you pursuing the above 5 qualities that God has called us to pursue?  Which do you find the hardest?

Older Women, who are you teaching and training to become like the above?

Walk with the King,

Courtney

***This post is a part of the Summer {Radical} Women Living Well Series.  Here are the other posts in this series.

{Radical} Women –Living Well

4 Qualities of a {Radical} Older Woman

4 {Radical} Ways to Love Your Husband and Children

The Effects of Feminism on Women In the Church

4 {Radical} Ways To Love Your Husband & Children

playful family hand in hand running in forest

The modern women of today, want it all.

We want husbands, children, college degrees, corner offices, a big house, weekends away with the girls, designer bags, a size zero waist, no wrinkles and to be –world travelers.

But keeping a family together in the midst of those pursuits…is tough.

Let’s face it – husbands and children get in the way.  Husbands take time, compromise, and energy to please.  Children stretch our waist lines and fill our designer bags with diapers and sippy cups – hardly the life we imagined.

And so when reality sets in that our husbands and children are “taking” things from us – things we so desperately desire – dreams, goals, time and money to pursue our interests…we can grow bitter.

And a bitter wife and mama – isn’t pretty.

Titus 2:3-5 says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Today we want to focus on the first 2 things older women in the church are to teach younger women.

1.) To love their husbands.

2.) To love their children.

We might assume it’s natural to love our husband and children –but sadly it is not. We are born with a sin nature and loving our family the way God would have us love them – takes the power of Jesus in our lives transforming us and helping us to display the fruit of the Spirit.

Martha Peace says that a Titus 2 woman needs to teach the younger women “to think loving thoughts, hold her accountable to be kind and tenderhearted, teach her to express affection and delight in her children and teach her how to lovingly administer godly discipline.”

4 {Racical} Ways to Love Your Husband and Children 

1.) Think loving thoughts.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 says love is patient, kind, not rude or self-seeking, not easily angered and on and on the list goes.  I encourage you to read this passage (and memorize it).

We need to apply true genuine love in our homes.  This means when our husband is late –we are patient.  When our children misbehave — we do not scold them rudely.  When our husband needs our help –we are not self-seeking.  When our children disobey — we are not easily angered.  A Christian home should be warm and loving as we reflect the love of Jesus to our families.

2.) Be Kind and Tenderhearted.

Ephesians 4:31 & 32 tells us we are to put away all bitterness, anger and slander and be kind and tenderhearted.

When our husband or children push every last button – often we explode and what comes out is ugly.  Much verbal abuse is a result of bitterness, anger and slander…a {radical} woman of God exchanges these sinful traits with kindness, compassion and a tender heart.  Is your heart tender toward your family? Do you display compassion?  If you struggle with this, ask God to soften your heart and memorize Ephesians 4:31 & 32.

3.)  Express Affection and Delight in Your Husband and Children

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth– for your love is more delightful than wine.” (Song of Solomon 1:2)  Our husbands need our affection. They need us to hold their hand, rub their back, and greet them at the door with a smile and a kiss.  They need to know we don’t just love them but that we like them – we delight in them.  Have you done this lately?

Psalm 127:3 tells us “children are a gift from God”.  But some mothers have chosen to leave their children for a boyfriend or to chase their dreams –or worse they have aborted them.  Some women never leave the home but their hearts are far from their children.  The shell of the mom is there in their lives but she is not interested in getting on the floor and playing a game or listening to what is on her child’s mind. Others are so incredibly obsessed with making their children perfect, so they can look good, they push their children away.

Give out hugs and kisses generously.  Look your children in the eye when they are sharing a very long…long…story.  Listen to them.  Let them know you delight in them. Tell them you love watching them swim or jump on the trampoline. Tell them how much joy it brings you that they are your little girl or boy. Delight in your husband and children.  Shower your family with affection.

4. Lovingly Administer Godly Discipline

Hebrews 12:11 says “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”  Disciplining our children is important.  And HOW we discipline is even more important. Some mothers are too harsh, commanding, and controlling.  Other mothers give too much freedom and their children walk all over them.  And still other mothers focus on self-esteem or making excuses for their children.

The world cannot teach a Christian mom how to discipline because when we discipline, we should always be guided by the principles of God’s word.  This means we need to know God’s word. We need to be reading our Bibles.  The world is not guided by God’s word — so we cannot follow their parenting ways. Our goal in discipline must be to reach our child’s heart, bring them to the foot of the cross and “produce a harvest of righteousness and peace.”  I believe that we must be doing  numbers 1 through 3 from above, before our discipline will be effective.  We must be loving, kind, compassionate, and affectionate because it is within this sort of relationship that God works.

Love.

God is love.

And the greatest commandment is that we love God.

And the second greatest commandment is that we love others.

And the Titus 2 older woman is to teach the younger women…how to love.

Love your husbands and children.

In good times and bad a {Radical} woman keeps on loving.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

***This post is a part of the Summer {Radical} Women Living Well Series.  Here are the other posts in this series.

{Radical} Women –Living Well

4 Qualities of a {Radical} Older Woman

5 {Radical} Qualities Young Women Should Pursue

The Effects of Feminism on Women in the Church

 

How to Banish Bitterness in Marriage

 

This post is a part of the Summer Marriage Splash Series!  I have teamed up with 5 bloggers for 5 days with 5 books!

Each day a different blogger is offering encouragement for marriage and then we pass the virtual baton to the next author who will be posting the day after.

Summer Marriage Splash - Reading 2014[2]

Today is my day and then here is the schedule for the rest of the women.

I hope you’ll get the chance to visit each and every one of them and benefit from their wisdom and insight. You’ll be very glad you did!

Since today is my turn, I’m sharing an excerpt from my book, Women Living Well. I hope you enjoy it, and most of all, I hope your marriage is refreshed as we banish bitterness.

 

Do you want to be better Study the Bible.

Sometimes our marriage problems are all in our heads. I’m not saying we’re crazy, but I am saying our thought patterns affect our marriages. We can give respectful lip service and appear on the outside to be very respectful toward our husbands, but on the inside be eaten up with bitterness.

Hebrews 12:15 warns, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

How to Banish Bitterness

Confess your bitterness. Get alone in prayer, and confess your bitterness as sin to God.

Filter your thoughts. Put a biblical filter on your thoughts.

My personal filter is Philippians 4:8, ” Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

I use this verse to frisk all my thoughts about my husband at the door of my mind.

When I have a thought about my husband, I ask myself, “Is this a noble thought? Is this pure? Is this lovely? Admirable? Praiseworthy?” If it is not, I must do what 2 Corinthians 10:5 says: “Take every thought captive to obey Christ.” I must make my thoughts obedient to Christ.

Replace bitterness with thankfulness. We must not let those thoughts swirl in our heads because eventually everyone in the family can see it in our demeanor, our lack of joy, and even in our words. It can’t be hidden. Let’s replace those thoughts with thankful thoughts full of grace.

If you are looking to overcome bitterness in your marriage realize that this is not something that will happen overnight. It’s a lifelong journey of guarding your mind and your marriage. The enemy would love to get a foothold in your marriage using bitterness, so beware! Put Philippians 4:8 as a filter over your mind.

Be free from bitterness.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

Summer Marriage Splash Book Recommendations:

Wife After God by Jennifer SmithWife After God by Jennifer Smith

“Whether you are going through a rough patch in your marriage (like we all do!) or your marriage is doing wonderfully, there is something in here to encourage, challenge you and help you improve your marriage and your walk with The Lord.” ~ Amazon review

Unveiled Wife: Encouraging Wives Daily

 

 

Team US by Ashleigh SlaterTeam US: Marriage Together by Ashleigh Slater

“Team Us is a lighthearted, encouraging read with a poignant message: marriage is one of the greatest adventures God gives us in this life. Make the most of it!” ~ Amazon review

AshleighSlater: Encouraging Couples to do Marriage Together

 

 

200429208-001100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson

“This is a “must have” little book for every married woman or yet to be married woman! It comprises 100 practical little thoughts, well laid out and each one profound and challenging in its own way.” ~ Amazon review

Club31Women: Sharing a Passion for Husband, Home and Family

 

 

 

The Virtuous LifeThe Virtuous Life of a Christ Centered Wife by Darlene Schacht

“Powerful, is right. This is such an encouraging and challenging book for any wife to pick up – whether she’s newly married or been married for many years.” ~ Amazon review

Time-WarpWife: Keeping Christ at the Center of Marriage

 

 

Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph

Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph

“I came away from the book with practical tips to loving my family better, making my home a haven and strengthening my relationship with Christ.” ~ Amazon review

WomenLivingWell: Finding Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids and Your Home

So Excited To Share Something New With You!

faith focused wives

Here at Women Living Well, we discuss lots of topics.  We discuss theology, marriage, parenting, homemaking, homeschooling, my daily life, recipes and other odds and ends.  Do you know what the number one topic is that I get the most email questions about?

Marriage.

I believe that the foundation of the family is under attack.  Many of us come from broken hearts, broken homes, broken pasts and let’s just face it – even if we come from a solid Christian home – we are sinners and we married a sinner and that makes marriage hard.

The culture has made it difficult to love God, his word and his ways.  And so we need each other.  We need each other for encouragement, inspiration, accountability, advice, a listening ear, prayer and fellowship.

This is why I am so excited to share something new with you!

I was recently invited by my friends Darlene and Jennifer to join an amazing community through Facebook for wives called Faith-Focused Wives.  This is a closer kind of community.  Instead of a regular page of encouragement on Facebook, where you may miss some of the posts, this is a private group where women can truly connect in an intimate way.

Darlene, Jennifer, and myself are bloggers who are all passionate about sharing God’s love story and helping wives persevere. Our hope is to pour time into this group and really be available for you to connect with us and others.

To Join The Group Just Click HERE And Then Join!

FFWBANNER

I would love for you to get to know the wonderful women I am contributing with in this community – if you don’t know them already!

Darlene Schacht is an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of her life. She started Time-Warp Wife.com in 2010 out of a place of grace, with a passion to encourage women in their marriages. She and her husband Michael live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, they have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone’s babies, especially hers! Their lives are basically surrounded with three things: faith, music and everything books. She’s an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God. Her newest book is The Virtuous Wife of a Christ-Centered Life.

Jennifer Smith is a Christian, a wife and a mother of one.  Those are her three most important priorities in life, in that order. In March of 2011, she launched, Unveiled Wife. She started the blog to share with other wives the struggles and the healing she encountered in her first few years of marriage.  By God’s grace it has grown into much more than she ever  imagined, reaching women from all around the world who have joined together in her Facebook community of almost 200,000 women. She believes that if you want a thriving marriage, you must be intentional about it. Jennifer has also authored the popular book called, Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God and Your Husband.

If You’d Like To Join Our Community, Visit Us On Facebook. Hop On Over, Click The “Join” Button, And One Of Us Will Add You To The Group. Also, Please Take A Moment And Share This Great News With Other Wives You Know!

Walk with the King,

Courtney

Should a Wife Submit To Her Husband?

bride and groom sitting on a wooden bridge by a lake

Thank you for the lively discussion regarding the role of women in the church, on last Monday’s post titled: Can a Woman be an Elder or Pastor?

Today we will discuss the role of women in the home.  If you are joining us mid-series, I encourage you to read through the past posts that correlate with this post, by clicking on the links at the end.

Titus 2:3-5 are verses that are very familiar to most women in the church.  We tend to glide through the list – focusing on the “love your husband and love your children” part.  But at the end of the list, there is one more thing older women are to teach the younger women. So let’s take a look.

Should a Wife Submit to Her Husband?

2 Timothy 3:16 says: All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness. (esv)

As I said last week: “Scripture is sufficient to answer this question. There’s no need for me to make a video explaining it, quote a theologian or write a detailed blog post – we simply need to look at God’s word together and together we will find our answers.”

{I am using the English Standard Version.  If you prefer another version – feel free to open up your Bible and read it for yourself.}

Titus 2

1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.

According to verse 1, what are men to teach?

According to verse 2, how are older men to behave?

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.

According to verse 3 (above), what character quality should a godly older woman possess?

What behaviors should a godly older woman avoid?

They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Look at verses 4 & 5 above, there is a list of 7 things older women in the church are teach younger women.  What are those 7 things?

Should a wife submit to her husband?

According to verse 5, why are wives to live out these 7 qualities?

6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. 9 Bondservants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, 10 not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

Notice a repetition of the words: good works, teach/teaching, doctrine/sound speech and a mention of opponents in both Titus 1 and Titus 2 (and you will see these repeated in Titus 3 next Monday as well).

According to Titus, does sound doctrine, good works and right behavior effect the message of the gospel?

11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 13 waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

Who is salvation for (v.11)?

How does salvation change our lives (v12)?

What are Christians to be zealous for (v14)?

15 Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.

Should Christians be silent?

Who should we let disregard us or ignore us?

******

Thank you for opening your heart and mind to the reading of God’s word.

May we lift God’s name higher by living out sound doctrine in our lives and may we have the courage to “declare these things…with all authority.”

Walk with the King,

Courtney

The other posts in this series:
Speaking the Truth In Love
The Authority of Scripture and 5 Ways to Defend Truth
The Ultimate Cultural Sin –Intolerance
How to Respond to the Labels – Intolerant, Judgmental, and Hater
What is Sound Doctrine?
Should Christians Simply Unite Around the Gospel?
Can a Woman Be an Elder or Pastor?
Should a Wife Submit To Her Husband?
Can Good Works Save You?
Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing