Thriving In a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage – Part 2

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Lynn Donovan

Hello House of WLW: Lynn Donovan here again today.  And as promised, let’s jump right into a powerful passage that has absolutely changed my life.  I pray you step into this truth with new understanding and hope.

One verse in particular gives me the greatest comfort as a mother. What is utterly fantastic about this passage is that it is written specifically for those of us who live in a spiritually mismatched home. I’m humbled and thankful to realize that God knew thousands of years ago that there would be marriages such as ours. What relief and freedom this truth brings to my heart. Read it with me from the Message translation:

For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God (1 Cor. 7:12-14, THE MESSAGE, emphasis added).

for clarification:

{in the KJV verse 14 reads as: 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

in the NIV verse 14 reads as: 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

in the ESV verse 14 reas as: 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.}

I’m learning that when we as believers love Jesus and walk in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, we impact our environment. And, in fact, we bring God’s will and purposes into our lives and into the lives of our children. The living presence of God within us becomes so powerful that, Paul tells us, through the believing spouse every member in the home is sanctified. The living presence of God is so contagious, so powerful, that it creates an umbrella of safety over anyone who comes into that environment.

My friends, we as believers are uniquely positioned to release the purposes, the love and the very power of God into our children’s lives. Our kids are then included in God’s plans for their lives. They are sanctified—set apart as holy unto the Lord. They belong to the Lord. When we grasp this truth, praying with faith through the Holy Spirit for our kids, we need not live in fear for their salvation. Our love, our example, our Jesus is always enough. I believe this promise for my children’s future and for their eternity.

~an excerpt from Not Alone, Trusting God To Help You Raise Godly Kids In A Spiritually Mismatched Marriage by Lynn Donovan & Dineen Miller

**************

Wow…… just WOW!  Today let the truth of this passage roar in your spirit. Your faith covers your home. This was a paradigm shift in my thinking and changed how I approached spiritual warfare for my kids and husband. My holiness covers them. They are under the love umbrella of God because an ordinary wife lives with Jesus in her heart and home.

Never doubt that God hears our prayers - lynn

On Thursday I tackle this question: Who Is A Spiritual Leader? See you then. Have an amazing day today.

Lord, let this passage bring freedom to every woman here today. Let the truth and the power that comes with your living and active Word permeate every place in her heart and home. I ask that the Holy Spirit would prove the truth of how the prayers of a righteous mama availeth much. In Jesus name. Amen.

CONVERSATION: Do you worry about your children’s salvation?  What are your thoughts about this passage above (1 Corinthians 7:12-14)?

Love and hugs,

Lynn,  www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com

Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage – Part 1 {& a Giveaway!}

www.geodun.com

 

Hello Family of Women Living Well!

Lynn Donovan

My name is Lynn Donovan and I’m joining your community this week while Courtney is vacationing. I met Courtney years ago as a sister blogger. She is the bomb! And I love her book. She and I connected a few months ago as I was reading her book and I asked her to read my recent book. We both have a heart filled with love for Jesus and for wives and moms.

So, I hope you will sit with me for a few minutes, a couple of days this week while she is away as I share a story that I pray leaves you filled with a fresh encounter with Jesus. Thank you for welcoming me to your House: Women Living Well.

My friends, my story is about a Prodigal child – me (Luke 15:11-31). I fled my childhood Sunday school days in my twenties. I left my loving Father for all the promises the world said were mine. I met my husband in these dark years and we fell in love. We were married and for the first three years everything was fine. But the world’s lure proved shallow, unkind and untrue. I heard my faithful Father calling in the distance and He wooed me.

I went running home into the arms of my Papa and was thrilled to once again have a relationship with God. But, I ran home dragging my unbelieving spouse behind me kicking and screaming all the way. To say that my husband was unhappy about this new “Man” in my life, was a serious understatement.

I am unequally yoked.

There are many women such as me who sit alone week after week in church. There are women who are married to men who say they believe and yet they are also like me, living in a spiritually mismatched marriage.

My journey has been a crazy adventure, filled with loneliness at times as my husband and I view life through two different world views. On this journey I’ve had to face fears over my children’s salvation. And attending church alone as well as wanting to be a “normal” couple and the most difficult, the rejection of my faith by my best friend on earth.

But don’t feel sad for me….  Because I serve the risen Savior and through His love and power, I have discovered that the unequally yoked can truly thrive while living with an unbeliever. We can grow in our faith, love and respect our spouse, raise our children to a vibrant faith, and walk in the Presence of the Most High.

Throughout this week I want to share what I’ve learned on this 22 year adventure. I will tell you that by the grace of God my husband is fully supportive of my ministry and he encourages me to help others who are also spiritually mismatched. I call that a “Way cool God thing.”

For today I want to leave you with a powerful scripture that changed everything about my marriage.

(Jesus) answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Mark 12:30,31)

When you love God, His Son and the Spirit with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength you are transformed. Your mind is transformed and then disappointment and bitterness no longer has influence in your life. You discover an unending joy bubbles out of you, flowing onto your husband and your children. This kind of love transforms a heart, heals a body, restores a marriage, and leads little ones to faith.

I had to remove my eyes and expectations from my human husband. And place all of my hopes upon Christ. When I did this our marriage moved into THRIVING. My husband found freedom to discover God in his own way without my manipulation and I found my expectations were replaced by God explanations. I was transformed by the love of God.

It’s a miracle! Woo Hoo!!!!

Tomorrow I have another passage that will Blow Your Mind. It’s a promise that an ordinary woman, an ordinary mom, CAN change the atmosphere when she walks into a room.

I love you my friends. Have a triumphant day in His Presence. Remember:

A man can ignore a nagging wife, but he can't ignore the truth of a transformed life.

With love and affection, Hugs, Lynn
www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com

Jesus. Let Your Holy Presence reign in this House. Today I ask for a powerful anointing to fill each heart, each soul. Let Your Holy Word go out and change the world through ordinary women. Lord, let us be carriers of your love. Let us walk into our homes and because we are anointed with your Holy Spirit, we change the atmosphere. Let love flood our kitchens. Let our grace and goodness pour over our children in such a tangible way that they see Your eyes. This week Jesus there are many who will come to this house to read. Place upon them wisdom, healing, a fresh anointing of hope. Lord, let us be the ordinary women who bring faith, hope and love to our homes, our communities and to a world that is desperately in need of a Savior. In Your powerful name, Jesus. Amen.

CONVERSATION: Today, if you are unequally yoked or you know someone who is unequally yoked, leave me a quick comment and I will pray for you.

Also, enter to win a copy of my book, Winning Him Without Words below:

winning him

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New Series Announcement: Thriving In a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

www.geodun.com

 

Next week we begin a week long series titled: Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage.

I can not wait for you to meet my friend Lynn!  I had the privilege of reading in advance and endorsing her most recent book she co-authored titled, Not Alone: Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home.  I LOVED this book and the minute I closed it I knew we needed her voice here at Women Living Well.  I get emails on a regular basis from women in this very situation.  I pray that her words will be a comfort and inspiration to us all.  I have already learned so much off of her as a Titus 2 woman and I look forward to learning more.

So let me introduce you – this is Lynn!

 Lynn Donovan

Lynn Donovan is a speaker, author, and an ordinary woman who shares with audiences her everyday adventures of walking in the Presence of God. Her delight is igniting women’s hearts with Holy Spirit fire, inspiring wives and mothers to step fully into their high and holy calling of marriage and motherhood with joy, laughter and God’s favor. She has been featured guest on the 700 Club Interactive, Focus on the Family, Dr. James Dobson’s FamilyTalk and FamilyLife Today. She coauthored the award winning book, Winning Him Without Words and also Not Alone, Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids In a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage. She has a son and a daughter and a granddaughter. She lives with her husband in Temecula, California. Visit Lynn online at MismatchedAndThriving.com

I am currently on vacation and I have brought her book, Not Alone along for a second read…

 Not alone 2

Yes, I’m somewhere with palm trees for much needed time away with my family and rest (I heard it’s single digits and snowing at home – so I’m feeling double blessed and I’ll try to not complain about the sunburns and rashes we are experiencing Lol!…today we had to spend the day in the room recouping from sun poisoning – ugh!).  I’ll share more pictures with you later but until then – my heart and prayers are with you all.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

Valentine’s Video & Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl Giveaway!

Valentine's Day Special 5 Marriage Bloggers

I’m interrupting our regular schedule for the Book Club – for this Special Valentine’s Day Video and Giveaway!

This video was done by 5 of the ‘Top Christian Marriage Bloggers’ including:
Sheila from ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com,
Fawn from HappyWivesClub.com,
Ruth from TheBetterMom.com, and
Jennifer from UnveiledWife.com

So sit back and relax and enjoy this 10 minute video:

(if you cannot see the video - click here)

We all pin to a Pinterest Board together at “Inspiring Christian Wives” if you’d like to follow us there!

Next up – Singles (or mother’s and friends of singles) this giveaway is for you!!!!

cover_Confessions_of_a_Boy_Crazy_Girl

Paul Hendricks writes:

Remember what it was like?

As Valentine’s Day approached you wondered if a secret admirer would finally emerge from hiding. But other than a lonely carnation and chocolates from your mom (no offense mom!), you came up empty . . . again.

This Valentine’s Day, do you know a girl who aches to be in a relationship?

If so, I have just the gift for her. Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl shares my personal journey from neediness to freedom.

Thanks for sharing this gift with the girls in your life,

paula

Paula

Paula blogs for teen girls and women by day (onLiesYoungWomenBelieve.com and TrueWoman.com) and journals her adventures by night. Her first book, Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom, released September 2013.

She has worked at Revive Our Hearts for nearly nine years, where she currently serve as Writing and Editorial Manager. Here are a few more God-stories of how I got where I am today.
I finished reading Paula’s book tonight and it was such a sweet, transparent, Christ-centered book.  Paula writes openly about her 28 years of ups and downs with guys and relationships.  Her heartaches pulled at my heart-strings and reminded me of those hard days of dating, waiting, and dreaming.  Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl is not a band-aid for your soul but a true healing balm as she points to true satisfaction found only in walking with the King.

 Paula is giving away FIVE Signed Copies to WLW readers {hooray!}!  Enter to win a copy for yourself, your daughter or a friend!

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Chime In:

Are you single?  I rarely hear from my single readers – but I just heard from one today via email and was so blessed to hear her heart!  I’m glad you are here. And just a side note, I read marriage and parenting books  back when I was a teen – long before I was a wife or mother. ;)

Are you married – these questions go with the video above:
What is one thing you love about marriage?
What has been your favorite date experience with your husband?
What is one piece of advice you would share with other wives?

Walk with the King,

Courtney

The Women Living Well Book Club – Chapters 9 & 10 {Marriage Challenge}

Chapters 9 & 10 Completing Him Marriage Challenges

 

Let’s Discuss Chapters 9 & 10

We are up to the “Completing Him” Marriage Challenges.  I’ve had many comments over the years where wives were annoyed that I only direct my posts to them.  They want me to set the husbands straight and tell them to change.   They also feel that my advice to women – like doing these challenges – make us weak.

Here’s my 2 minute video response to these thoughts:

What makes one husband feel loved and respected may not make another husband feel this way.  Each of our husband’s are unique and so all of their likes, dislikes, preferences and responses to these challenges will vary widely.  But I can testify,  100% of the feedback from women who have done the challenges, has been positive!  Hooray!

You were not created to compete with your husband

Are you familiar with Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages?  The concept is that all people have 1 or 2 ways that they prefer to receive love from their spouse.  Do you know what your love language is and do you know what your husband’s is?  Find out today by going to Gary’s website and taking his free test.  It’s really fun to know this and you will find as you do these challenges that you touch on each love language.

So Valentine’s Day is RIGHT around the corner and this is our chance to pour some love onto our guys!  Here’s a few ideas to get you started:

 

1. Text him with a sweet message that includes something you appreciate about him (or maybe a picture collage like my one above) I learned this from Pinterest :) !

2. Email him today telling him how grateful you are for him.

3. If he’s on Facebook – go to his wall or post a status update praising him

4.  Offer to say the prayer before dinner and then in your prayer thank God for him and give specifics.

5. As you give him a kiss hello, goodbye or goodnight – insert a little word of thanks and praise.

 

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Discussion Questions:

1.)  Do you plan to do one of the Marriage Challenges? Share which one you plan to do.

2.)  Have you done any of the challenges? Which one and how did your husband respond?

For Extra Discussion go to the Forum and click on the thread that says “Chapters 9 & 10″

Walk with the King,

Courtney

Bloggers:  Are you blogging your way through this book club with us?  Then link-up your blog post below.
**
Please note that this link up has changed for the next 5 weeks.{if your linked-up post is not about the book club it will be removed}



The Women Living Well Book Club – Chapter 8 {Banishing Bitterness}

Book Club chapter 8

Let’s Discuss Chapter 8

Today I want to share some thoughts with you from Elisabeth Elliot’s book titled “Let Me Be a Woman”.

Elisabeth writes:

Who is it you marry?  You marry a sinner. There’s nobody else to marry.  That ought to be obvious enough but when you love a man as you love yours it’s easy to forget.  You forget it for a while and then when something happens that ought to remind you, you find yourself wondering what’s the matter, how could this happen, where did things go wrong?

They went wrong back in the Garden of Eden.  Settle it once for all, your husband is a son of Adam.  Acceptance of him – of all of him- includes acceptance of his being a sinner…

We love reality tv but here's our reality

You will less likely turn into a nagging wife if you recall continually that it is not only your husband who leaves undone those things which (you think) he ought to do, and does things which (you think) he ought not to do, but that you, too, have erred and strayed like a lost sheep, sinning daily by omission and commission.

The consciousness that we are alike in our need of redemption is a liberating one.  For there will be times when you find yourself accusing, criticizing, and resenting.  You begin, almost without realizing that you are doing it, to make a mental list of offenses, anticipating the day when some straw will break the came’s back and you can recite the whole list, sure to add at the end “and another thing…!”

But you will find yourself disarmed utterly, and your accusing spirit transformed into loving forgiveness the moment you remember that you did, in fact, marry only a sinner, and so did he.  It’s grace you both need.”

Ah yes, grace.  Grace changes everything. Grace helps us banish bitterness in marriage.

who we are at home is who we really are (1) (2)

 

Let’s Discuss:

Often times it is the single women who are told that they need to find contentment in their singleness…but I think married women need the same exhortation.

We must find contentment in our marriages.  That’s what this 3 minute video is all about:

(If you can’t see the video – click here to view it)

Discussion Questions:

1.) When conflicts arise in marriage – and they always do – how do you tend to handle them?  Are you cranky or critical?  Do you suddenly become a history expert and bring up old wounds and mistakes – his not yours?  Or do you become withdrawn and sulk, refusing to deal with the matter?

2.)  Read Hebrews 12:15. What does it mean for something to take root and spring up in the world of plants (and weeds!)?  Why is it dangerous for bitterness to do the same in our heart?

For extra discussion go to the forum and click on the thread that says Chapter 8.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

“Your Marriage” Webcast, Extra Resources & a Giveaway!

the best thing you can do for your marriage

 I’m super excited for this week’s webcast!!!  Darlene from Time Warp Wife is the keynote and our couch discussion (begins at 16 minutes into the video) was so rich.  I really felt like we got somewhere as the women opened up.  I hope it will comfort and encourage you too.  Here are the speakers:

Session 3 marriage speakers

{Me, Darlene (TimeWarpWife.com), Clare (Peak313.com), & Karen (KarenEhman.com)}

 

(if you cannot view the video - click here)

Some other resources for you from Darlene’s Blog:

 Free Printable Prayer Cards for Your Husband
52 Text Message Love Bombs to Send Him
103 Words of Affirmation Every Husband Wants to Hear
I’d Rather Be a Crown Than a Trophy Wife
Darlene’s Testimony 

And a Giveaway!

Darlene is giving away 10 Copies of

The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife

to 10 WLW readers!

virtuoussmallcover1

 About the Book

The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife is written in the format of an 18-part study for daily or weekly reflection. Not only is it a powerful tool for personal growth, it’s also an ideal study-guide for small groups!

Each lesson leads you through one virtue at a time, offering you applicable and inspiring ways for a wife to grow closer to God and her husband. The virtues discussed are these:

• Purity  • Self-control  • Love  • Diligence  • Patience  • Kindness
• Humility  • Faith  • Forgiveness  • Joy  • Passion  • Radiance
•Encouragement  • Balance  • Goodness  • Trust  • Courage

Virtue calls us to action. As we exercise each one, they bring our flesh in line with our Spirit.  It’s one thing to know what’s good, and it’s another to walk in obedience to the knowledge that we have received. Not always easy, but obedience to our faith is always worth the effort it takes!  Every lesson concludes with the S-O-A-P method of study, prompting you to dig deeper.

Enter to win below:

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To purchase your own pdf or kindle copy  - go here.

**Chime In: What are your favorite marriage resources – blogs, books, authors?

Walk with the King,

Courtney 

 

The Women Living Well Book Club – Chapter 7 {Effects of Technology on Marriage}

chapter 7 marriage in the age of media

Let’s Discuss Chapter 7

In chapter 6, we turned our eyes towards God’s word to see who he created us to be.  In chapter 7, let’s consider how turning our eyes towards media is affecting our marriages.

I believe that movies, reality television, and all the many facets of social media, that speak into our lives, are causing many wives to be discontent in their marriages.  After all, none of these truly represent REAL life.  Movies are fiction, a lot of reality television is not reality and most of us put our best foot forward on social media and the nitty gritty reality, is kept behind closed doors.

The more we feed on media and the less we feed on God’s word –the greater our dissatisfaction with our husband will grow.

We need to flip this on it’s head.  We need more time in God’s word and less time on technology.  We need more time building our own marriage and less time looking at everyone else’s!

Gary Chapman marriage quote

So how do we do this?  Rather than saying the grass is greener elsewhere, water and fertilize your own marriage!

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1

Valentines Day is RIGHT around the corner. This is a fun time to plan something special for your man.  Next week we’ll talk about the marriage challenges in Chapters 9 & 10 only briefly.  So this week is the perfect time to peek ahead and take one of the challenges.

Let’s Discuss:

Here’s a brief video with a few more thoughts on this topic:

(if you cannot see this video- click here to view it)

1.)  What affect has media had on your marriage?  Are there any boundaries you need to put in place to protect your marriage?

2.)  Read Proverbs 14:1.  How does this verse pertain to media?

For Extra Discussion go to the Forum and click on the thread that says “Chapter 7″

Walk with the King,

Courtney

Bloggers:  Are you blogging your way through this book club with us?  Then link-up your blog post below.
**
Please note that this link up has changed for the next 5 weeks.{if your linked-up post is not about the book club it will be removed}