The Women Living Well Book Club – Chapters 11 & 12 {Motherhood & Technology}

chapters 11 & 12 motherhood

Hooray!  We are at the half-way point. We have completed the first half of the book  Women Living Well - on Your Walk with God and Your Marriage.  Now we are up to the section titled: “Your Parenting.”

Let’s Discuss Chapter 11 – A Mother’s Influence

In Chapter 14, I write about the influence of a mother.

Abraham Lincoln reportedly said, “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my mother.

The Statue of Liberty was said to be modeled after the sculptor’s mother. 

When Super Bowl football players look into the camera – they don’t say “Hi, Dad” –they yell, “Hi Moooooooooooooom!!!”

Children are sponges.  They soak up the influence of their mother.  And though your name may never be in lights – we must not forget the many many unnamed mothers who rocked the cradles of great men and women who changed the world.  They will forever be unnamed, but their influence is with us forever.

Do you wonder some days if what you are doing matters – changing diapers, kissing boo boos, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches over and over and over.  We say night time prayers and tuck littles ones in bed and then they pop right.back.out.of.bed.  Oh! That is frustrating – I know!!!  And then there’s those moments when we lose our temper and feel like the worst moms ever.  We wonder if we are a failure or if our kids are going to end up in counseling forever. Lol!  The overflowing laundry baskets and sticky kitchen floors are enough to make a mom want to run away.  But you don’t. You are strong!  You keep going – loving, feeding, caring, helping and working hard for your family.

You matter.

You are priceless.

Don’t give up – don’t waste your influence. Call on the name of the Lord for help and keep going.

the influence of a mother

Let’s Discuss Chapter 12 – Parenting in the Digital Age

As I think about our influence as moms – I wonder how we influence our children through our use of technology.  Little eyes are watching.

One key, I learned from my parents, was to not hold a double standard.

For example, if a movie was unacceptable for me as a child because of violence, language or sexual content –it was not okay for my parents to see either!  They didn’t have an imaginary age when suddenly, we could watch more “adult” content.  Though some movies had a rating of PG-13 – my parents felt they were unacceptable for me at age 16 –and them at age 43!  If it was not good for me to see — it was not good for them to see either.

It is SO very important that we practice what we preach.  My parents were powerful role models and eventually their convictions became my convictions.

“I will set before my eyes no vile thing.  The deeds of faithless men I hate. They will not cling to me.”
~Psalm 101:3

 Three of my main points summed up in this chapter are:

1.) Be aware of what your children are doing!  It is our job as parents to pay attention and know what they are doing on social media or on the web.

2.)  Know Your Child. Is gossip their weakness? Watch their texting. Do they have a thirst for violence? Monitor their video games.  Are they curious about the opposite sex – be on guard for porn. Are they lonely? Do not let them talk to strangers that could be predators.  Each child will have their own unique struggles that will require guidance.  That is our job – to impart knowledge and wisdom to our children – especially in their areas of weakness – don’t forget there is an enemy who wants you to not care or be naive.

3.) Teach them to think for themselves.  We will not always be able to oversee our children’s internet use.  As they grow older, they will begin to use the internet at their friends house or the library or on their phones when we are not around.  Train your child to have a godly conscience and a healthy fear of God – so they are convicted when they go outside the bounds on-line

Help your children have a godly conscience

 

On Friday, we skipped the webcast video for a special Valentine Video – so today’s video is that webcast.

This video was the Opening session to the Women Living Well Conference this summer.  I know that it’s long (42 minutes) but if you can sneak in just the first 10 minutes – it will be WELL worth your time!   I guarantee you are going to get a laugh out of Karen Ehman’s opening skit and laughter is good medicine – so don’t miss this!  Following her skit – I speak for 15 minutes about marriage and motherhood and then 6 of my blogging friends join me on the couch for a 20 minute discussion.

(If you cannot see this video – click here)

Discussion Questions:

1.  When you think of the concept of our children being sponges who are soaking in what they see and hear and observe in us spiritually, how does this make you feel?  Does this cause you concern in any area? If so which one?

2. Read Philippians 4:8.  How can this verse be used as a grid to determine what guidelines your family will have about using devices in this digital age?

For extra discussion go to the forum and click on the thread that says Chapters 11 & 12.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

The Women Living Well Book Club – Chapter 7 {Effects of Technology on Marriage}

chapter 7 marriage in the age of media

Let’s Discuss Chapter 7

In chapter 6, we turned our eyes towards God’s word to see who he created us to be.  In chapter 7, let’s consider how turning our eyes towards media is affecting our marriages.

I believe that movies, reality television, and all the many facets of social media, that speak into our lives, are causing many wives to be discontent in their marriages.  After all, none of these truly represent REAL life.  Movies are fiction, a lot of reality television is not reality and most of us put our best foot forward on social media and the nitty gritty reality, is kept behind closed doors.

The more we feed on media and the less we feed on God’s word –the greater our dissatisfaction with our husband will grow.

We need to flip this on it’s head.  We need more time in God’s word and less time on technology.  We need more time building our own marriage and less time looking at everyone else’s!

Gary Chapman marriage quote

So how do we do this?  Rather than saying the grass is greener elsewhere, water and fertilize your own marriage!

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1

Valentines Day is RIGHT around the corner. This is a fun time to plan something special for your man.  Next week we’ll talk about the marriage challenges in Chapters 9 & 10 only briefly.  So this week is the perfect time to peek ahead and take one of the challenges.

Let’s Discuss:

Here’s a brief video with a few more thoughts on this topic:

(if you cannot see this video- click here to view it)

1.)  What affect has media had on your marriage?  Are there any boundaries you need to put in place to protect your marriage?

2.)  Read Proverbs 14:1.  How does this verse pertain to media?

For Extra Discussion go to the Forum and click on the thread that says “Chapter 7″

Walk with the King,

Courtney

Bloggers:  Are you blogging your way through this book club with us?  Then link-up your blog post below.
**
Please note that this link up has changed for the next 5 weeks.{if your linked-up post is not about the book club it will be removed}

 



The Women Living Well Book Club – Chapter 4

Book Club header week 2 chapter 4

Welcome back to the Women Living Well Book Club!

Here’s the links from past posts:
The Weekly Reading Schedule
Chapter 1
Chapters 2&3
“Your Walk With God” webcast & Extra Resources

Let’s Discuss Chapter 4

The world is changing rapidly. It’s amazing for me to consider that my kids have no idea what a typewriter or word processor looks like.  They simply don’t know a world without tiny devices that both entertain and answer all their questions.

Changes from the Media Revolution

 

Our kids are not familiar with those thick JC Penney Catalogs or record players or phones attached to walls.  Remember when we had to purchase film for our cameras…and flashes!  Then we waited 7 days for the pictures to develop and half the pictures were of people with their eyes closed!  My kids can snap 100 pictures in an hour on their iPods, crop, twist and turn them and have them printed on our printer in 2 seconds flat.

The onslaught of the media revolution has changed the landscape of our lives.  So, we must ask the question – how has this affected our walk with God?

I make clear in chapter 4 that media is amoral.  In and of itself, it is neither good nor evil.  It is our use of it, that determines its morality.  Each believer must discern and follow their own convictions

“Jesus lived in a different culture and context than we do.  Never before have women carried access to ALL the world’s knowledge on a tiny device in our purses!”  pg. 36

And this is where the danger lies.  I admit in the book that I struggle with being an information glutton.  As I hop from blog to blog, and Facebook to Twitter – I tend to gather more information than I can process or use and all this information crowds out the voice of God in my life.

Information is a cheap substitute

 

Let’s Discuss:

Below this video are our discussion questions for the comment section – please share your answers and thoughts there.

Here’s a 4 minute video of my answers!

(if you cannot see this video - click here)

1.)  Pause for a moment and list all the media you currently use in a week.  Now consider and sort through it, which of the media draws you closer to God and which of the media pulls you away from God.

2.)  God has not called His children to seek information; He calls us to seek Him.  Read Read Matthew 6:33 and Hebrews 11:6 {again} what are we to be seeking?

For Extra Discussion go to the Forum and click on the thread that says “Chapters 4″.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

10 Ways to Protect Your Children On-Line

10 Ways to Protect Your Children On-Line

My computer vomited on me -

and my kids.

It was a big picture of a beautiful…naked young girl! {so unexpected and my kids were beside me!}

I shrieked in horror – quickly clicked away and held my breath – oh dear. What do I say?

So we had a little pow wow – me and the kids.

And after I was done talking with the kids about mommy’s massive mistake {face palm}, I went back to the computer.

And I felt dirty. Dirty from the image that had vomited on my children.  It came in the most unexpected place – on a media platform I have used for 4 years without any display of nudity or such fowl words.

And I thought of my little homeschool bubble and Christian blogging world I live in. And I think of my posts where I talk about modesty and people get upset and call me legalistic.  And I giggle just a bit because if you knew me in real life, you would know that I am not the measuring stick kind of girl…at all.

But after my experience on-line that day – my eyes were opened.  Maybe instead of talking about modesty, I should be addressing nakedness!

I’m afraid we live in a desensitized culture where sexting or tweeting lewd photos is cool – or even more – a multi-Billion dollar industry.

24 million websites are porn

40 million Americans are regular visitors of it – eeeek!

70% of men 18-24 visit these sites at least once a month.

2.5 billion emails A DAY have porn in them -

25% of search engine searches A DAY – that’s 68 million are porn related

The average age a child first sees porn –eleven :(

**These statistics were posted here in January of 2013.

So what does God have to say about nakedness?

In the garden – after Adam and Eve sin – the very first evidence of their corruption was their awareness of their nakedness.  And God clothed them. (Genesis 3:21)

One practical implication of this is that public nudity today is not a return to innocence but rebellion against moral reality. God ordains clothes to witness to the glory we have lost, and it is added rebellion to throw them off. ~ John Piper

And so – nakedness is rebellion.

And looking upon nakedness…rebellion.

And Satan – he’s a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. (I Peter 5:8)

Nakedness inside of marriage is purity.

And so what is pure – the enemy likes to twist and make impure outside of God’s boundaries.

But then he deceives and desensitizes and lurks and lures and he prowls…prowls on our husbands, prowls on our children and yes – he is even prowling on us!

But in a culture of shack up and break up where men and women wait longer and longer to wed –and those longings burn inside of each teen…these images are literally one click away. And I’m scared…scared for the generation coming behind me who are so used to these constant images.

These images have consequences…some images will permanently stick in our children’s minds for decades…our brains are amazing like that.

And so what do we as parents do?

10 Ways to Protect Your Children On-Line

1. Be aware. If we don’t protect them who will?  It is our job as parents to know what our children are doing and to set boundaries.  We need to monitor their video games, movies, television, apps, twitter, facebook, instagram, youtube, texting and the list goes on! This is a TALL task…I admit that already at the young age of my kids (8 and 10) I find it hard to monitor it all perfectly.  We have to be vigilant and intentional – don’t forget there is an enemy who wants us to not care or be naive –assuming our kids are fine and trustworthy.

2.  Know Your Child. Is gossip their weakness? Watch their texting. Do they have a thirst for violence? Monitor their video games.  Are they curious about the opposite sex – be on guard for porn. Are they lonely? Do not let them talk to strangers that could be predators.  Each child will have their own unique struggles that will require guidance.  That is our job – to impart knowledge and wisdom to our children – especially in their areas of weakness – don’t forget there is an enemy who wants you to not care or be naive. (Oh! I think I already said that -but I needed to say it again).

3.  Know your children’s passwords so you can check in periodically.

4.  Keep computers and i-products out of their bedrooms and in a common family area where you can oversee their activity on-line.  Have all products charge in the kitchen or a main common room – away from their bedrooms at night.

5. Ask your children to show you their favorite games and things to do on-line.  You might just learn something from them and you will get a view into their world.  Play some of their on-line games with them.  During our last family game night, we ditched the board games and played as a family – an iPad app called “Minecraft”.  The kids LOVED that we entered their world and played with them.

6.  Join Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and all the places your teenagers hang out and check daily to see what your child is posting and who their friends are.  Parent them through this maze of social media.  I can’t imagine all the immature things I would have posted when I was a teenager – I am SO glad this did not exist back then.  Teach your children that what they post is permanent – words have consequences.  Have your teens study the book of Proverbs – this book of wisdom will help them navigate relationships both on and off-line in a godly manner.

7.  Warn them of dangers they would not imagine.  Some children are trusting – they would not ever think of predators who could be waiting to harm them.  Make them aware!

8. Teach them to think for themselves.  We will not always be able to oversee our children’s internet use.  As they grow older, they will begin to use the internet at their friends house or the library or on their phones when we are not around.  Train your child to have a godly conscience and a healthy fear of God – so they are convicted when they go outside the bounds on-line.

9. Pray over your children daily.

10. Prepare to be unpopular.  If you set the above boundaries be prepared for some battles.  It’s easiest to have no boundaries at all. Don’t go the easy route…*

Friends, if you are too busy to monitor your children’s use of the internet…you are too busy. Period.

Josh McDowell writes:

Pornography is the number one threat to the cause of Christ, five times greater than anything historically in the last 2,000 years. It’s the greatest threat to young people, the greatest threat to marriage, the greatest threat to family, the greatest threat to pastors, oh, the greatest threat to youth pastors—this pervasive pornography on the Internet. And most people don’t realize. It’s five times greater than anything the church has ever faced in history, and it’s destroying kids right now.

Rise up mamas! Be aware!  Do NOT let the enemy get a foothold in your house!

**Chime In: What safety measures do you take in your home?

Walk with the King,

Courtney

 

How is Media Affecting Us? (Final Media Monday)

 

Today the 8 week series titled Media Mondays comes to an end. The question I sought to answer in this series was:

How is social media and this digital world of ipads, iphones and ipods affecting our relationship with God, our marriages, our parenting, our homemaking, our friendships and our health?

8 weeks ago – we started here with these thoughts:

 Tim Challies, the author of The Next Story: Life and Faith After the Digital Explosion, writes:

“Our lives have become saturated with sounds and images flashing in front of our eyes, blaring into our ears…At work we spend forty hours staring at computer screens. at home we watch television or visit our favorite websites. Between work and home we check our route on the GPS and dash off a few text messages. Even at church we watch our pastors on screens before returning home to watch sermons on the Internet. Life is mediated by the screen.” p.89

Here are the links to the week by week posts if you missed one:

Media and Our Walk with God

Media and Our Marriages

Media and Our Parenting – Part 1

Media and Our Parenting – Part 2

Media and Our Homemaking

Media and Our Friendships

 Media and Our Health

The reality is times have changed. Jesus lived in a different context than we do. Never before have women carried access to all the world’s knowledge on a tiny device in our purse! Screens are everywhere – at church, work, gyms, in my homeschool room, on airplanes, in the car, and in our pockets. Twitter, Facebook, Blogging and Youtube have become the new front porch affecting all of our friendships. In 60 years, we’ve gone from zero screen time to an omnipresent screen – they are everywhere and we don’t even notice them! There has been a massive pace change in the last 100 years.  It is affecting us! 

There are a few areas I never addressed in this series, that are affecting us:

1. Privacy - The use of social media has affected everyone’s privacy.  I’ve even seen private emails (of a well-known pastor I adore) leak into the hands of the wrong people and posted publically on-line to be used to harm him.  It made me realize that every email I send must be filtered through God’s word…and be potentially ready to be made public. 

2.  Photos – I have a cabinet full of photos that I’ve slipped into albums and into scrapbooks 5 years ago…but my photos from the last three years have remained jpegs.  Our digital cameras are able to take so many shots that it’s hard to keep up with the plethora of photos we are taking.  But the quality of our photos and the way we can tweak them with photoshop and other applications is truly amazing!  Never before have images been so rich for the eyes and again so public!

3. Creativity is at an all time high.  All you have to do is spend 10 minutes on youtube and you’ll see exactly what I mean!   I know that I may have never taken up writing if blogging did not make it so easy for me to get my thoughts out.  I’ve journaled since I was 15 years old and I have a feeling I’d still be journaling all my thoughts, for no one to see, if it weren’t for social media.

 

Media is amoral – it is neither good nor bad – rather it is the use of it that determines its morality.   We must filter it through God’s word and come to our keyboards ready to glorify God with every word we read or write.  We must remember – no matter what era we live in or how our culture changes:

 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

 

 So let’s get our final discussion of Media started.

What are your final thoughts or conclusions on this series and what can you add to the list – how else is social media affecting us?

1. If you are a blogger and you have decided to join this series by blogging each week, please place the Media Mondays button somewhere on your blog so your readers can find us here and then link-up below (right click – “save as” the button).

2. If you are not a blogger but are on Facebook or Twitter, I want to encourage you to copy and paste this link from the browser above on your status update and ask your friends for their thoughts.

 

3. If you have thoughts or questions you want me to address in this series, please leave a comment above. I will try to answer as many as I can either during the series or in the comment section.

Walk with the King!

Media and Our Health

Let me be honest…either I’m getting old and my metabolism hit the brakes this year or blogging is causing turbo weight gain!!!  Here’s the deal – I started blogging 3 years ago and in those 3 years of blogging I have put on 20 pounds!  I can only conclude that blogging is not physically healthy – nor is hanging out on Facebook and twitter all evening long!

Years back I shared my struggles with my weight.  Some of you may look at my pictures and videos and think I have a screw loose for worrying about my weight…but I come from a family of thin people and I am the only one who ever seems to have trouble with her weight!!   So 3 weeks ago Janelle from Comfy in The Kitchen,  invited me to join Weight Watchers On-line with her.  I entered in my height and weight – and indeed even Weight Watchers told me – I was one pound from being considered over weight!  I’m not trying to be as thin as my sisters – I’d have to lose over 30 pounds to do that…and I understand that I was not created to be like them – I am me.  BUT I would like to fit in my clothes in my closet and stop the weight gain before it does become a real problem health wise.

 So I turned to my real life friend and now blogger – Clare from Peak 313 Fitness and asked her to write on the topic of Media and Our Health (and you must check out her new “Deskie Workout!”).  Clare writes:

Is media affecting our health? The answer is a resounding YES!!!  Adults and children spend over 70% of their waking day at a desk, in a car, on the computer etc. We sit down to read our emails. We sit down to browse the web. We sit down to write our blogs.There is even a new science of “sedentary behavior” or “inactivity physiology”. There are people who actually study this for a living!

Here are some common ways media is affecting our health:

1.) Lower Back/Neck/Wrist Pain: Whether it’s an uncomfortable office chair, a computer monitor that’s at the wrong height, or hours of punching in numbers at the computer, we are BOUND to get pain while sitting at a desk. I know many people who have had to get intense therapy for the damage sitting has done for them. Carpel tunnel was a syndrome none of us spoke of 15 years ago and now we have people getting surgery to correct it all the time. Our posture gets worse as the day wears on and all that takes it’s toll on our joints.

2.) Exhaustion: If there’s one thing I’ve learned since blogging it’s that it’s HARD to shut down at night. I’m always looking at “just one more thing.” Experts say that we should shut down all media ONE HOUR before we hit the sack. That gives our body enough downtime to prepare for rest. So whether you’re hopped up on some blog you just read or just hitting the sack 2 hours later than you planned, we are not getting enough sleep.

3.) Weight Gain: We’re sitting. We’re eating. We’re drinking. We’re skipping our workout. And we wonder why last year’s jeans are too tight. One of my favorite sayings is “Objects in motion stay in motion. ” Unfortunately, there’s nothing “motion” about sitting in front of a computer or tv and we end up seated for longer than we plan.

4.) Cardiovascular Disease (CVD) This is the scariest one of all yet the one that no one probably thinks about. Studies show that people who sit for more than six hours a day are 18% to 37% more likely to die of diabetes, heart disease, or other causes than those who sit for less than three hours a day. Let me give you a little science into this.

We have an enzyme called lipoprotein lipase (LPL) in cells that line our capillaries. This enzyme is important because it grabs fats out of the bloodstream and moves them to the muscles or to fat cells for storage and fuel. After just a few hours of not standing, LPL basically turns off. With LPL suppressed by sitting, harmful triglycerides (fats) build up in our bloodstream, and good HDL cholesterol levels drop (HDL-C is the “clean up” crew for your body). This all elevates your risk for cardiovascular disease.

These 4 areas still affects the person who gets their daily exercise in and those who are of normal weight, so NO ONE is exempt.

♥♥♥

Here are some practical ways to seamlessly make changes to your health:

1.) Set a timer. Every 20 -30 minutes get up and walk to the restroom. Stand up. Stretch. A timer is also handy in keeping you aware that you need to shut down for the night. :)

2.) Stretch. Roll your head forward and side to side. Reach your hands behind you and above you. Stand up and reach down to your toes. Circle your wrists and ankles one way and then the other. Keep the body loose and moving as much as you can.

3.) Small steps. When possible, stand during a phone call. Stand while at the computer. Dance a little jig. Get up at commercials. Everything counts!

4.) This workout. I have created 2 workouts with you in mind! This should not replace your usual routine. Even if you can only do bits and pieces of these in small segments, something is better than nothing. Do the routine all in one sitting or set a timer and do a few exercises here and there. Click here to see my NEW Deskie Workout I’ve created(these pictures were taken at Courtney’s house)!

One final thing. There is a difference between fidgeting and standing up. Fidgeting (which yes you can do while sitting) will help a little with your waistline and calories burned, however, in order to help fight against CVD, we must stand up (and move if possible)!

**********************************************

Thank you Clare for your insight!  I always love having Clare into my home to teach me new fitness tricks :)!   Let’s take care of our bodies-  our temples – so we can serve our mighty God with vigor and strength. 

Now it’s your turn!  Tell me – how has media affected your health?

1. If you are a blogger and you have decided to join this series by blogging each week, please place the Media Mondays button somewhere on your blog so your readers can find us here and then link-up below. (if for some reason the code is not working for you – please – right click – save as – the Media Mondays button and link it to this post)

2.If you are not a blogger, join the discussion in the comment section! I look foward to hearing your thoughts.

3. If you use Facebook or Twitter, I want to encourage you to copy and paste this link from the browser on your status update and ask your friends to join the discussion.

Walk with the King!

 

Social Media and Our Friendships


I LOVE social media because I love to be social!   I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know many of my friends in new ways through their daily status updates, links to things they find interesting, verses they post, pictures from their daily life and interaction in my comments.  I have connected with strangers on Facebook and Twitter, and those strangers – turned friends - have become real life meaningful friendships off-line!  I  LOVE that!

 To be honest, it has nearly eliminated all my phone time in the home.  If I have something to say to a friend, I hop onto Facebook and Twitter to “chat”.  I miss my friends who are not on Facebook (but respect their reasons) simply because I feel like I have less access to them.  I have to remember to be sensitive to their feelings of being “left out”.   I have gotten closer to some of my acquaintances who are regulars on Facebook and Twitter – cause that’s where I hang out when I need a break from cleaning, homeschooling or parenting lol!


But it comes with some dangers.

1.   Hurt feelings – I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve read a comment and have thought “What does she mean?  Is she mad at me?  Is she joking around?  Am I being too sensitive?”  Facebook comments are dangerous – beware and think before you type!  I am sure that I am guilty of this too!  Proverbs 26:18,19 says  “Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!”  Beware of comments that are sarcastic – you could lose a friendship over it!


2.  Judging
- I have friends who have quit Facebook because they struggled with the status updates of friends who they thought lived one way but they discovered lived a very different way.  This is where sin and matters of liberty and conscience come into play.  We must call sin - sin but give grace to our friends on matters of liberty.  I will admit that when I see a swear word pop up – it mars my dear friend!  Oh and those bikini photos – I’ll never understand…do you see how ugly those thoughts are that ooze so easily out of me.  I must admit - I struggle at times.  I have to continually consider – is it worth confronting or will I let it go – let it completely go.  I am not on Facebook to be everyones Holy Spirit!  That’s a really quick friendship killer!  Which Satan thoroughly enjoys!  John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  Satan would love to use social media to destroy our friendships – but Jesus came to give us an abundant life.  Do not let sinful judgement of friends destroy your friendships.  Remember, we are all human on the journey toward sanctification and we are all in different places on our journey.


3.  Public embarrassment -
I will raise my hand first and say I’ve embarrassed myself publically on many occassions because of my loose lips.  In the moment, a status update or comment feels right – but sometimes the next day I wonder – what in the world was I thinking?  Words carry power – and I feel like it’s been a learning and maturing process on what to say publically and what not to say publically.  Proverbs 10:19 says “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”


4.  Jealousy –
The comparison trap is just that – a trap!   Pictures of vacations, new homes, new cars, or fun nights out with friends are a breeding ground for jealousy.  There are two sides to this coin.  First there’s the person putting the information out there.  Is it wrong to show your vacation or fun night out?  NO…but can we be sensitive to those who weren’t invited or who can’t afford a vacation this year.  We don’t have to post every picture or every night out.  Philippians 2:4 says ” Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  This is one reason why I did not post my pictures from our Myrtle Beach trip or Willliamsburg trip this year on the blog.  I want to be sensitive to the fact that not everyone will be happy to see those pictures. 

On the flip side, jealousy is all throughout the Bible and we see how deadly it is to all friendships.  Remember Cain and Abel, Joseph and the coat of many colors, Haman and Mordecai, Sarah and Hagar, Saul and David,  the Pharisees and Jesus.  These are just to name a few, if we looked into it further we’d find many more relationships in the Bible that were ruined by jealousy.  Jealousy comes when we take our eyes off of Jesus. 

When I feel discouraged by things happening in the social media world I always come to a point of realizing…I have taken my eyes off of Jesus.  Hebrews 12:2,3 are some of my FAVORITE verses and they say, “Let us  fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Who for the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”


5.  Inappropriate Relationships with men. 
I am in NO way suggesting that women cannot have healthy relationships with men.  But for me – (again I am just saying this as my personal conviction) I have decided to not have friends on facebook who are male.  I wrote an entire blog post here about this decision if you are interested.

One rule of thumb I follow for the words I type on the internet is this:

If your pastor put all the words you said on-line this week, up on a screen for your entire church to view…is there anything you’d be embarrassed of?  If something comes to mind…delete it…and remember Proverbs  10:19 “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

Social Media has GREATLY impacted my women friendships.    We were created for relationship.  God created Eve because it was not good for Adam to be alone.  Outside of our husbands, we long for deeper friendships with women but sin has entered our relationships simply because we are all sinners.   Some women hide behind the computer and chat all day on-line but never make real life friendships.  I do it the opposite way.  I take my on-line friendships and go deeper with them by having women into my home for bible study, creating Good Morning Girls groups where we email each other daily about the deeper things of God, I skype my on-line friends who are too far away to get together.  I pursue real life friendship through Girls Night Outs and playdates in my home.  My life is fuller because of my women friendships.  I encourage you to pursue taking your on-line friendships off-line.

Now it’s your turn – tell me – how has social media affected your friendships?

1. If you are a blogger and you have decided to join this series by blogging each week, please place the Media Mondays button somewhere on your blog so your readers can find us here and then link-up below. (if for some reason the code is not working for you – please – right click – save as – the Media Mondays button and link it to this post)

2.If you are not a blogger, join the discussion in the comment section! I look foward to hearing your thoughts.

3. If you use Facebook or Twitter, I want to encourage you to copy and paste this link from the browser on your status update and ask your friends to join the discussion.

Walk with the King!

Media and Your Homemaking – Times Have Changed!

 

Do you remember when women used to have to butcher and pluck their own chickens?  Me neither!!!

All my life chicken has come in a plastic wrapped package – ready for seasoning and the oven!  Or even better - I can buy rotisserie chickens cooked and ready to serve!  It’s wonderful!  But our great grandmothers did it a bit differently!

My grandmother explained to me,  a chicken in a box used to be delivered by a local farmer to her mother.  Her mother would put the chicken between her legs (and for anyone who is squeemish skip this next phrase), twist it’s head off.  Then she would drain the blood.  After draining the blood, she fired up a pot of boiling water and soaked the chicken until the feathers could easily be plucked.  She would place the chicken into the sink – pluck it – and take all of the inside stuff out.   Then after all of the above – she could begin the process where we begin our process today – seasoning it and cooking it.

Then there was the laundry.  I find it a challenge to get all my laundry washed, dried, folded and into the drawers in a timely manner.  But not too long ago, women washed their clothes – by hand - in sudsy water, put it through a ringer, rinsed the clothes - by hand, put it through another ringer and then hung them outside or in the basement to dry.  THEN – this is the KICKER to me –  every single item had to been ironed!!!  Ugh!  Did I mention, I hate ironing and avoid buying clothes that need ironed?   There was no such thing as permanent press so everything including underwear was wrinkley and in need of being ironed.   It would be one long day if I ironed every item I wash! 

Since our great grandmothers sewed much of their clothes, sewing and mending was a large part of a woman’s day.  My grandmother says how excited she was when the invention of iron on patches were created!   I am SO thankful for stores like Target where I can get matching sets of clothes for five bucks a pop! 

Oh – the time our generation has been given by convenience stores and products is  a gift!  But we have managed to fill up all the extra time with all sorts of things. I feel it.  There are days where I look around and can’t figure out where the day has gone and why the house looks like a tornado hit.

Where has all the free time that convenience stores and products have given us?  Can I suggest where one large portion of that time has gone…

MEDIA!

I am not saying this is the only time zapper we are experiencing – but it’s one large one so let me be transparent for a moment.

1.  I am guilty of being on my computer while laundry piles up.

2.  I am guilty of letting my children out of chores so I can have more time answering email in the morning – rather than overseeing them with their chores.  As a result – the upstairs is messy for the day.  But the kids love it! lol!

3.  I am guilty of staying up too late following a twitter stream rather than doing something more productive around the house like cleaning out a closet or baking a batch of cookies for the family. 

4.  I am guilty of admiring someone else’s decorating or garden on-line rather than decorating my own home or tending to my own garden…yes, weeds grow while I read about gardening!    My home school room goes undecorated, while I admire all the amazing homeschool rooms on-line!  It’s so ironic!  I have a plethora of ideas – but in the rush of life, I’m not slowing down to do them.

I am sharing this in hopes that you can relate to the struggle I have.  I have learned SO much off of other ladies on-line as far as tips and tricks and recipes for homemaking but at times it has taken me away from homemaking and caused a bit of chaos in my home.  One of the best ways I’ve managed on-line time is through logging my hours or setting a timer to keep me from neglecting other more important duties.

Let’s strive together to be Proverbs 31:27 women : “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”  Together let’s pursue making our homes havens for our families by being organized, consistent and self-disciplined.  Let’s aim to not be distracted and distant, but always there with a hug, a smile, a warm meal, a clean set of sheets and some lines in the rugs from our vaccuum.  It is one way we can show, without words, our love to our families.  This is how our great grandmothers did it.

Share with me your thoughts:

1. If you are a blogger and you have decided to join this series by blogging each week, please place the Media Mondays button somewhere on your blog so your readers can find us here and then link-up below. (if for some reason the code is not working for you – please – right click – save as – the Media Mondays button and link it to this post)

2.If you are not a blogger, join the discussion in the comment section! I look foward to hearing your thoughts.

3. If you use Facebook or Twitter, I want to encourage you to copy and paste this link from the browser on your status update and ask your friends to join the discussion.

Walk with the King!