Oh friends ā the people pleaser in me wants to give everyone of you that commented ā a free course. It was SO hard to choose just one. š
But the winner of the giveaway here at WLW isā¦Amanda Taylor!!! Check your email inbox Amanda!
Iām SO excited!!!
Today each of the mentors is giving away 2
of our new online mentorship courses titled
How to Break Free from the Prison of People Pleasing.Ā
We understand your struggle!
Weāre Karen Ehman, Courtney Joseph, and Ruth Schwenkāthree Jesus-loving moms, authors and Bible teachers who live the chaos every day. We know how it feels to face countless demands, deadlines and expectations on our time and emotions. And weāve also learned how to break free.Ā
Let us teach you how.
Our new online course, How to Break Free from the Prison of People Pleasing, will help you discover how to shed your need for othersā approval and rest in Godās call on your life instead. Can we get an amen?
The course begins on Monday, October 4th and runs for 4 weeks!
Each weekday youāll get access to a new portion of the weekly lesson:
- Mentoring Monday: Enjoy a prerecorded video teaching.
- Talk to Us Tuesday: Drop your questions for the mentors!
- In the Word Wednesday: Weāll provide a devotion to help you apply the weekās lesson to your quiet time.
- Gather Together Thursday: Weāll host a live online Q&A event every Thursday evening in which the mentors answer your questions about that weekās topic. Donāt worry if you canāt make it. It will be recorded and available for playback on Fridays.
- Faith-Building Friday: Download a guided prayer journaling sheet for prayer and reflection.
To enter to win, leave a comment in the comment section sharing a little about any struggles you have with people pleasing.
For bonus entries, visit us over on instagram and the other mentors on their blogs and enter to win there!
Blogs:
Instagram:
This giveaway ends Monday, September 27th at midnight.Ā
This course begins Monday, October 4th ā to learn more about it go >>Ā HEREĀ <<
Walk with the King,
Some people say itās coincidence, o say itās providence. Iāve been seeing a counsellor to deal with grief, but it morphed into dealing with shame and people pleasing. My sessions are done (could only get three) and Iām so stirred up inside. Could use this for sure.
I want to learn about the bible I am a beginner.
I grew up learning ppl pleasing from the church lol! Sad but true. I am a performer, love attention, words of affirmation and keeping the peace. Iām overly responsible and an empath who hates to see anyone mad or sad, only striving to make everyone glad !
Content of this course is just what I need. People pleasing is such a problem for me every dayā¦at work, home, and with family. Thanks for the opportunity.
Iāve realized that Iām still people pleasing with my own family, primarily my husband and children. Itās hard for me to have healthy boundaries and ask for the things and rest I need. I want to teach my kids how to do this and how not to be people pleasers.
Often I find myself doing what makes everyone happy and comfortable but not necessarily what is best for me and my family. Iām faced with an upcoming decision that will have a huge impact on my life. To submit to people-pleasing is so much easier than maintaining my current path in this situation. This study will finish up just before I have to make that decision. Godās timing is perfect, isnāt it!
I would so love to have guidance in this area, whilst standing in the gap for my husband and children.
Ive been people pleasing all my life,and still do.I always seem to end up doing what makes others happy yet get so deflated because Iām not.ive never been able to say no and end up taking on way to much as a result.I would love to break this cycle.Thankyou for the opportunity x
I thought I had gotten passed this stage in my life trying to please others or get their approval but I find myself right back here. What a blessing God has brought this lesson to us through you ladies.
Itās a God thing!
Maritza
I seem to always want to do for people even when I know that Iām being used and taking advantage of the Christian Spiritual side of me says if I donāt do it theyāll say that Iām a hypocrite then that side of me says that you know thatās what they are going to say just to make you feel guilty and I know it and it hurts but I do it anyway and know see and hear them snickering ? behind my back Iāve hurt so much and know itās my fault to the point that I canāt cry ? anymore.
Iāve been a big people pleaser since the death of my husband 7 years ago. At first it started out with very small things but now it has morphed into larger things like selling my house to the children I live with. When does it stop.
Sometimes I am more concerned about what others think than about what God thinks. People pleasing and the desire to be loved and accepted are real struggles.
Life with 3 young boys seems like Iām always people pleasing to make sure everyone else is taken care of no matter how it makes me feel.
I have been a people pleaser my entire life. My parents demanded perfection at all times in everything. I wasnāt raised in a church and once o hit 16 I rebelled and stopped caring. Me we dealt with the mental problems from my adolescence until recent years (Iām about to turn 34!!) and I still find myself making sure everything is āperfectā when we visit my family or they come to our house. Itās a chain Iām working to break!
People-pleasing never fails to make my to-do list ridiculously long and my temper unbearably short! I learned a lot from Silencing the Noise and continue to reap the benefits of the spiritual heart surgery that God performed on me during that course. I eagerly anticipate the Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations I will enjoy this year from Breaking Free.
Iāve recently returned to Christ after years of sin. I need help. I started a people pleasing book this week to help with grief and to undo some negative conditioning from childhood. However, the book was too political and radically was missing Godās word for guidance. I feel blessed to see your email this morning.
Hello,
I am a missionary in Greece working with refugees. I find it very hard to connect with other believers in the city due to covid lockdowns for the past 18months, continued restrictions and limits to church attendance being 20 people. I think I have experienced such intense desires this year to not create conflict, with all the controversies in and outside the USA and within and without the church, and within family units, that it is becoming increasingly difficult to stand for truth or even my opinions without fearing reprisal, rejection or rebuke. I need to learn to stand on Godās word and His approval of me and be āOKā with people disagreeing with me or not thinking well of me or putting me in a āboxā. I would love to take this study.
Fear is my biggest struggle. Strong deep fears that have no reality or reason to occur.
My main struggle with people pleasing is with my children. I often do what they ask as opposed to doing what I know is right. This leaves me feeling resentful and frustrated with myself. I would like to conquer this in order to be a better mother and be a good example.
Have you ever felt like this ā like a puppet on a string bowing to everyone elseās demands? At first, youāre just being polite and good-natured. You want to help and do good in the world. Plus it feels nice to be needed and make people happy. Whatās wrong with that, you ask. Well, whatās wrong is that the requests get more time-consuming, more demanding, and more out of line with your values and goals. You may become so busy pleasing others that you neglect yourself. Your health may suffer. Perhaps you stay up too late working, you get sick and run down, or you become anxious and short-tempered due to the stress youāre under. Over time youāre doing things that are further and further from what you want and believe in. You end up being a people-pleaser out of fear of disappointing people or fear of conflict. Eventually, youāre carrying a monkey on your back just because someone criticized what you wanted to do! My life as a poeople-pleaserā¦..
I would love to win. I wanted to sign up but finances are extremely tight right now. Thank you so much for all you do.
This study keeps popping up for me and has been weighing heavy on my heart. Just the title has me thinking a lot about how much I try to please others, but it ALWAYS seems to come at a cost. I make someone else angry, I donāt do it right, etcā¦. I am so sensitive to the needs of others that I rarely take care of myself and what I need in order to be able to serve the Lord. I think itās time to re-align my needs to be able to serve God to my fullest.
People pleasing will leave you drained emotionally, mentally, physically & financially. I know. I could be the poster girl for it. I really need this course.
I am hard in myself as a result of people pleasing often leading me to low self esteem and loneliness. I need to develop a self confidence and mastery that will allow me to live happier and contently without depending on peopleās approval. I am desperate!!
Hi Courtney! I never thought I was a people pleaser until my āpeople pleasingā didnāt work last year. It is almost a year ago that my sister in law said something so hurtful to me in defense of my brother that I literally wept the entire day. She said it over text and I had to immediately delete it. Her words altered our family as the story traveled during the day. I am still hurt too. While working through the hurt Iāve realized that the want to please them and everyone else is the reason why I am having so much trouble healing. I want everyone to be happy but that ends up leaving me still stuck in my hurt. I hope I can gain some insight from your course and to win a mentor ship with you would be amazing. I know youāve walked a road of deep hurt and disillusionment as well and perhaps you can share some of your wisdom with me. Love to you all! In Christ, Katie Z.
I have tried to please people all of my life. I second-guess decisions because of criticism or lack of support of my decisions. I do what they think I should do instead of what I think I should do. I try to avoid any situation that would bring conflict or turmoil and just āgo along.ā I have recently stood my ground and refused to ābow to keep peace,ā but I frequently question if I should just give in and pretend everything is fine to make others happy. This study may be exactly what I need to stop being the ādoormat.ā
I have a tendency to be a people pleaser to win the approval of others and to keep peace in certain relationships as well. Because of that, I find it is sometimes very difficult to discern whether the Lord is prompting me to serve others, or if I am more focused on people pleasing.
Hi, my name is Brooke and I am a people pleaser. I have been for decades ā since I was a you girl. I have been in therapy for over a year now and this is only one of my struggles that Iām working on overcoming. It is very difficult as I am an Empath and service is my gift. However, my family suffers because of these struggles of mine. Please, I would love your guidance and mentorship. Thank you for considering me.
I love your studies. I am just learning how to say no, and Iām in my 40ās. I still have a long way to go.
People pleasing is an area I would love to gain more freedom in. I struggle with replaying conversations in my head afterwards and wondering what people thought. I also can struggle with saying yes to something and then realizing afterwards that perhaps I shouldnāt have and just did so because of wanting to be liked. Grateful for all of your ministry and all that you do.
I think Iāve always been a people pleaser. I have a lot of anxiety and donāt like confrontation and Iād rather try to make everyone happy then to deal with conflict. In some ways I feel being a people pleaser has made me luke warm as a Christian, I want to live to please an audience of one and that is God.
After 23 years Iām still stuck in the pattern of abuse. Even though I left him more than two decades ago, I can still hear his words in my head. So I try to make sure that I do everything I can to make everyone else happy and find myself still broken.
The last mentorship was fantastic and I am sure this one will touch on points in my life that need boundaries. I will join. My hope is to win this for my friend because I think this will provide refreshing direction and confidence for her. She is one who has described herself as a person who pleases others. She is a great mom who often serves her family before herself. She has a heart to serve as demonstrated by her willingness to minister to teenage girls through leading a small group with her churchās youth ministry. I know this will bless her. Thank you for this opportunity!!?
I donāt think of myself as a āyes womanā who canāt say noā¦ but I am definitely overwhelmed [overcommitted??]. And I struggle hugely with what others think of me. I would love accountability and reminders to think Godās thoughts, and seek His perspective 1st!
I would so love to break away from PP habit! I have always done this! Now I would have not done this now I canāt say no! It is heart breaking be cause they take advantage of me and donāt care what it is doing to my well being!
I say I am doing it for the Lord as he would want me to help others. But not to the braking point of my health!
I really do want to do this course I will not get paid now until after you start! If you have this course again maybe Incan sign up later when I can pay for it!
Have a very blessed time and blessings to all the winners! God bless and keep you all! Love Tammy Graceā¤ļø
I have always been a people pleaser. Taught to smile, look pretty and ALWAYS be there to help. I learned early on that you always say yes to be liked or be a part of the crowd. Over the years, God has taught me to let go and start thinking of me and what is good for my life. Yes, I will slip up and back into thatā¦but the Lord is always there to say āCherylā¦letās think about this. Is it good for you and your family?ā
Everyone wants to have a group of friends but even as an adult, I felt like a had to please people to be invited to do things with them. Sometimes women in this group would talk about other friends in the group..for fun. When I broke away from this group, it took a while to make new friends. Itās also hard to say no to extra activities because sometimes you get left out. How do we not feel guilty?
Hard to find the balance between doing what I need to for my family and letting them take advantage of me.
Iām in education leadership and itās a constant struggle between pleasing parents and staff all the while looking out for the best interest of the children. I hope that this mentor program can help me balance it all and keeping God at the center.
I donāt like confrontation, so I tend to just try to please everyone in the moment! This is not the best model for my daughters to witness as they see me get warn down and discouraged! I need to remember that God is the ONE that I need to please!
Iām looking forward to finishing a 5-month long project next week and spending some time discerning āwhat now?ā With a million demands on my time and attention, I wrestle daily to submit the overwhelm to God. But the fight is constant and exhausting. Iām ready to be free.
This is a topic that I have worked on for some time. I still find myself more than not needing some kind of assurance to go forward with decisions. How much lighter I would feel if I stopped carrying the weight of people pleasing and only focused on pleasing God above all else!
I struggle with putting everyoneās needs and feelings above my own, I find myself dealing with a lot of guilt because of that. I want to find ways to find peace within myself, take time for me and stop trying to change who I am to please everyone else.
Iāve only realized in the last few years what a struggle people pleasing is for meāand how it has always been the catalyst for the reason why I do (or do not) do things. Truly, I want to do what honors God, not other people and teach my babies to do the same.
All my life, I have had anxiety and depression. I have always wanted to āfit inā, to be popular, to be at the top of my game. I never wanted to let people down, have people be mad at me, or feel like I didnāt belong. But, I would always feel these things. As I got older, married at 19, then a mom at 26, and all the pain and trauma Iāve been through in my marriage and with us as a family, my anxiety and depression have increased over time. I take on everything on my own. I feel alone often. I want to make others happy and feel as if I walk on eggshells for my husband and my daughter. I have sacrificed myself and things that I wish I wouldnāt have missed out on so that my husband was happy and wouldnāt think of leaving or drinking. I thought if I make him happy and let him get what he wants or do what he wants, that the hurt wouldnāt come, but I was very wrong. My daughter is like my little miracle and I feel like because of the trauma weāve both been through with her dad, as well as my dad being killed in a tragic accident last year, I must tend to her physical, emotional, and mental well-being. I have always put myself and my needs and wants on hold. Iāve never felt good enough and have always had no self-esteem or confidence. I have always struggled with weight, never feeling pretty or smart enough. I worry so much about others that my health and well-being are deteriorating and I have lost who I am. I donāt know what my hobbies are, etc. I try to please others and fit in to make it better for us in this āitās all about how much money you have, who you are, who you know, and what you can do for themā world, that I actually push people away. Iām not sure what my exact diagnosis should be. But I know I want to go from a hot mess to feeling blessed. I battle everything right now. My husbandās issues, our financial trouble, trying to teach ESL from home, but find another income, trying to help my daughter make it through (thatās a whole other story and battle), trying to get her to finish her homeschool work so she can move onto the next grade, try to be a wife, mom, gym mom, Christian, a leader, keep up with the house (which doesnāt work and Iām ashamed of our house), just so many things. I just want peace, to love myself, to know who I am, to have sanity back, to take care of myself before there is no me anymore, and to hear God that has been blocked out for quite a time. This scholarship to join this program would mean a lot to me. I need this accountability. I try to lead the group in our ESL Christian teacher group on Facebook with the readings, but Iāve not been a very good leader. Thank you for your time and listening.
I am hoping to win this to give to my daughter in love. She married my son 7 years ago after her divorce, bringing 2 little girls to our family. She struggles with people pleasing and then tries to swing the other direction and just not do or see anyone. I love her and want better for her.
Iāve come to the realization these past weeks that I somehow stopped expecting and just started accepting everything life and the ones I love throw at me.
This is not the way I want to live my next 20+ years of life. God wants more for me. I need to learn to ask and expect His blessings. If they do not come, to expect He will me with grace beyond measure.
Just feeling the need to be accepted and good enough at my job. Being seen as a woman who doing well and is meeting the standards. I feel so less than most days. Even at the age of 54, Iām still struggling to be enough.
I grew up learning that if I wanted my mothers love, then I would always let her make the decisions about my life, (my friends, what I went to school for, who I dated, etc) and I would do as she said and there would be no other way. Unfortunately that carried over into my future relationships and into my marriage which has not always been a healthy relationship because of this. I am hoping this will help bring me a healthy relationships and happiness in my life.
When I first read the description I thoughtā¦Iām not too much of a people pleaser. But, the more I thought about it I realize my biggest problem is trying to please those in my own home. I have lost myself in so many ways because Iām trying to please everyone in my homeā¦children and husband and dog, that Iām so drained and have nothing left for me at the end of the day. Iām too tired to give any time to the Lord. This has led to depression and a low that Iām shocked to see in myself. Yes, I suppose I do struggle with people pleasing but, until today I didnāt realize it was with my own family. Thank you for offering this course!!
Iāve been people pleasing from a young age as I was insecure with being a chubby child, even so, I selected my career and stayed in it because of what my dad wanted me to do and not because of what I was passionate about. Also, being a PK (Pastorās Kid) you had to conform to a certain mold which restricted me from being the real me.
I have always been a chameleon around people (& people groups), thinking I was being loving. As Iāve gotten older, Iāve wondered why āall of a suddenā , I feel the need to be validated by others in my thoughts and actionsā¦could this all be a form of people pleasing??
I grew up trying to keep my mom pleased to keep the peace ! and now my husband who is a lot like my mom was ! the walking on eggshells feeling maybe this can help.