Assessing Your Marriage and a Vintage Pearl Giveaway

Summer is coming to a screeching halt and it’s almost time to pull out our sweaters and pumpkins! But while the August heat lingers -I want you to reflect back on your summer. Let’s pause to assess how our marriage has been lately.

Was it a good summer for your marriage? Or a hard one? Was it a joyful time with lots of memories? Or was it filled with ups and downs?

All of our marriages go through different seasons. We all have our ups and downs. We have the newlywed season, then the… I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open cause we have a newborn… season, the on the go with the kids and their activities season, the challenging teenage season, the empty nest season and the golden years.

As you look ahead to the fall, do not lose your focus on building a strong marriage.

1. We must continue to remember those dating days and what made us fall in love with our husbands in the first place.

2.Remember our sacred vows.

3.Remember to ask your husband how you can be praying for him daily.

4.Remember to tell your husband how you admire him.

7.Remember to respect your husband.

8. Remember to keep kissing him like you mean it!
No matter what season you are in, God longs for you to follow his design for marriage.

This summer, many of you participated in the Marriage Challenge. How did it go? How did it change you and how did it change your marriage?

If you blog, please link up below with your response to the above question and then link back to this post. If you do not blog, please comment in the comment section below.

Everyone who links up or comments answering the question above will be entered to win a $50 Gift Certificate to Vintage Pearl. The winner will be chosen Thursday, August 19th. Check out the necklace they made me and their other adorable stuff!!
And by the way, if you were wondering how our marriage was going this summer – I have to say this challenge really made it great! To be honest though, we did have one kink. Mid-summer we had a strong disagreement on a Sunday night – right after I posted the challenge: what I admire about my husband . I was so annoyed at him I didn’t tell him about the blog post…it wasn’t until Tuesday that I said – go check out all the “wonderful” things I said about you on-line Sunday lol!!! Interesting timing wasn’t it! So in case you wonder if we are “normal” and fight – indeed we do from time to time. But we are both decent forgivers and I believe a strong marriage takes 2 decent forgivers!

Walk with the King!

Kiss Him Like You MEAN It! Final Week of Marriage Challenge

Seriously – where did the summer go? I am sad this is the last week of our challenge because this also means summer is coming to an end!!! But next Monday there will be one more linky with this series. I’m looking for feedback and I will ask the question:
How did your husband respond to the summer challenge? What was the most difficult part of the challenge for you and is there anything that you think would have made this challenge better?

All those who link up their blog post OR (for non-bloggers) – comment in the comment section, will be entered to win a Vintage Pearl Marriage Necklace! Check mine out!!!

It says our names and then around the outer circle it says “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” I’ll give you more details about the giveaway next Monday! (note: this giveaway does not start today – it starts next Monday, August 16 )

This weeks challenge could be your husband’s favorite – I know it’s my husband’s! This is a cherry on top of a great summer of warm love and respect expressed.

The challenge: “Kiss him like you mean it!”

Sex is a basic physical and emotional need that men have. God designed our men this way. It’s a good thing! Not only do they need it often but they need to know that they are desirable (just as we wives need to know this).
A lot of wounds can take place in this area of our marriage if we are not careful. Too much rejection from either spouse can lead to bitterness.
So here’s a few action items:
1. Remember every man is different. Ask your husband if there’s any improvements he’d like to see in this area.
2. Listen. If you husband has already expressed some frustration, listen to what he has shared and think about ways you can make a change. Baby steps are fine – just open your heart up to change.
3. Make sex a priority. Plan to have it. Don’t let life get so busy that you neglect this area in your marriage.
4. If this part of your love life has gotten boring, take time to spice it up a little. Plan something nice like putting on something you feel good in, giving him a back rub, taking a shower together, lighting candles and turning on music. Take time to make a special moment - then…Kiss him like you mean it! You can guarantee he will walk taller. Paula Rinehart says sex is like a silent cheer! It just builds our man up!
Treasure these moments with your husband…you will never have these days of your youth back. Enjoy your man and let him know that he is enjoyed. Is there anything greater than knowing that someone enjoys you?
Song of Songs 5:16 says His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This I my lover, this my friend.”

Build your man up tonight with some sweetness and kiss him like you mean it!

Walk with the King!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T and Your Husband

It’s Week #8 in our marriage challenge and this challenge is straight from the Bible:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Your Husband!

Ephesians 5:33 says “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband.”

This can be a difficult verse to apply because some women have husbands who are not doing the first half of this verse. Their husbands are not loving them as themselves BUT my blog is not written for men so I have to move on to the second part of this verse.

God’s command to wives is to respect our husbands – unconditionally. Our men are not boy scouts trying to earn badges of honor. God does not say – respect the husband who is “worthy” of respect. It is simply their position of husband that we are to respect.

Dr. Emerson Eggerich says in his book “Love and Respect” that if you asked women if they’d rather their friends love or respect them – the majority would say love. But if you asked men if they’d rather their friends love or respect them – the men would answer respect. We are hard wired this way – God created men with the need to feel respected and adequate.

Think of what men will do for honor. They will take bullet shots from an enemy. While everyone is running out of a burning building, men will run up 20 flights of stairs to save lives. They will shoot the bear and laugh about it later. They are just wired this way – and isn’t it glorious that they are!

Sometimes we women “mock” the male “ego” – but it truly is tender. Deep down – there’s insecurity and they need to know that indeed they are adequate, they are enough, they are worthy of our respect.

Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly what it is that makes your husband feel disrespected. Sometimes the strangest comment I make will make my husband angry. I don’t see it disrespectful at all – and it baffles me – yet he is clearly offended. It has taken time for me to learn what it is that makes him feel disrespected. But I can tell you a few things that all men disdain.

1. The wife rolling her eyes at him.

2. The wife criticizing him.

3. The wife complaining to hrt mother or girlfriends about his flaws.

4. The wife not respecting his knowledge, opinions or decisions.

5. The wife nagging him or assuming the worst in his actions.

6. The wife using sarcasm to communicate bitterness.

7. The wife disrespecting his work, protection, provision or leadership.

8. The wife disrespecting his need for physical intimacy or his “manhood” (wink wink).

This week – take some time to assess your husband’s respect-o-meter. Ask him what sort of things you do that make him feel disrespected and respected. Work on weeding out disrespectful thoughts and attitudes and exchanging them for respectful ones.

If this is a very troubled spot in your marriage specifically because you don’t feel your husband is respectable read the post I wrote a while back titled:

Respecting Your Husband’s Weaknesses

And remember you respect your husband because of who God is and his commands. You respect your husband because of who you are and your character. You respect your husband because you have been given grace and you freely give it. You respect your husband because of your vows at the marriage altar. And you respect your husband because you do indeed love him and desire to please him.

It’s your turn, if you are a blogger write a post about how this challenge goes and link up below – remember to include a link back to this post please! If you are not a blogger, comment below and tell us how you are working on this area or what you learned!

Walk with the King!

Following Your Husband’s Vision

Ephesians 5:23 “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”

It’s week #7 in our Summer Completing Him Challenge! Here’s this week’s challenge: Support his vision. Discuss his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. Share with us how you let your husband lead.

Let me say in advance, I know this topic is controversial. It is hard for women in the year 2010 to step back and allow their husband to lead their family. The challenge this week is to first – listen. Listen to your husband’s vision for your family. Secondly, enter into their vision and share what you dream and envision. From there see where the differences may lie and flesh those out. In the places where you do not see eye to eye – let your husband lead.

Pray for him as he leads and trust God that he will protect you as you obey Ephesians 5:23 in allowing your husband to lead. Indeed this is a challenge isn’t it!

3 years ago, my husband and I went out on a date night. During the course of dinner, my husband pulled out his napkin and a pen and began to draw out some career path changes. I was mortified! They were nothing like the path we were currently on. I was comfy and cozy and liked his career choice. And in the blink of an eye, he was changing everything.

I could hear the passion in his voice and see the excitement in his eyes. My mind said – “follow your husband where ever he leads you” but my heart said – “he’s asking too much of me!” I wrestled with some of his choices but allowed him to lead.

It was scary. I cried for about the first 2 months off and on. I cried to my friends, cried to my family, cried to my husband and yes, even cried in front of the children. A lot in our life changed as a result of his vision for our family – and I had to sacrifice a few things.

3 years later, I have a husband who thanks me for putting all my faith and loyalty in his decisions. It was not easy to make the choices he made. Knowing that I got on the roller coaster ride beside him and hung on tight for the ride meant so much to him. We grew closer as a couple – we saw qualities exhibited in each other that we had never seen in the first 9 years of our marriage.

I am so thankful that God gave me the strength to follow my husband’s vision. I won’t say that it was all rosie. We had some very hard moments. But I trusted that the God who gave this command would protect me through this. And I can testify, God was, is and will always be faithful!

Today – listen to your husbands. Talk with them about their plans, dreams and visions for your family. Share yours in return. Don’t let it become a debate. Close your mouth and simply listen. Imagine how you can help him reach those goals. Remember – behind every great man is a great woman.
Now tell me about the challenge – if you are a blogger – link up below and be sure to leave a link in your post back to this post. If you do not have a blog, comment below!

Walk with the King!
It’s 11am and I have been visiting the blogs of those who linked up below. I came across this very moving youtube of the Beach Family Blog. This video is the ultimate picture of a wife following her husband’s vision. She has freed her husband to pursue his passions, talents and gifts. She has sacrificed much to follow him! She is a perfect picture of what this challenge is all about.

The Way To a Man’s Heart Is Through His Stomach

We are to week #6 of the “Completing Him” Marriage Challenge and this week’s challenge is: Make your husband a priority. Ask him what his favorite dinner, dessert and drink are. Be sure to serve him all three one night this week. Bonus: cook his favorite dishes all week long!

Why would I make such a challenge and how is it significant? Here’s a couple reasons:

1. Often times, meal plans can end up catering to what the children like. This is one time that we are going to take our husband’s preferences above everyone else’s preferences – including our own!

2. On special occasions like Father’s Day and our husband’s birthday, our husband becomes the center of attention. This is our chance to make him a priority for no reason other than we love him. Wouldn’t we appreciate it if they did this for us? Let’s go first, and make a special day just for our husband’s. Get into it – maybe make it a surprise and get the children involved. Take just one evening and shower him with kisses, hugs, and all his favorites. It’s not good to spoil your children – but it’s okay to spoil (and I do mean bless!) your husband!

3. Take this opportunity to display our love. Titus 2:3-4 says the older women are to teach the younger women to “love their husbands”. Selfishness hinders love. Take the time to give thoughtful care to how you can exhibit love to your husband.

I am reminded of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In his book, the premise is that we all experience love differently. Some need words of affirmation, others need quality time, gifts, acts of service or physical touch.
As we go through these challenges, we will hit on each one of these love languages. There are some husbands who this challenge is going to speak volumes of love to. So let’s get busy in the kitchen ladies.
I made my husband his special dinner on Saturday: Hawaiian Meatloaf (I’m posting this recipe tomorrow), homemade mashed potatoes with cheddar cheese, and corn. His favorite dessert is cheesecake and his favorite drink is my mom’s orange julius recipe but it really didn’t go with this meal. So we are having our orange julius’s with my quick and easy pizza bread tomorrow night! And yes, he was a happy hubby!!!
It’s your turn, if you are a blogger tell me your plan – OR if you already made the meal post the pics (and even a recipe if you have one to share!) We’d love to see and hear about his response! If you do not blog – comment below with your plans!

Walk with the King!