Regret

How To Live a Life That Matters

April 16, 2012 By Courtney 26 Comments

Today we have a special guest! It’s the brilliant Sarah Mae!

Sarah Mae is the author of several eBooks, including her newest eBook, Frumps to Pumps – Your one-month guide to getting dressed and staying that way, and two soon-to-be-published books, Desperate (Thomas Nelson) and Having a Martha House the Mary Way (Tyndale). She is the owner of the community site Allume.com and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference, Allume Social.

Sarah Mae spends her days homemaking, home- educating, writing, reading, slinging ideas, and drinking smoothies (now that she’s given up coffee).

Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish countryside of Pennsylvania. You can find her writing almost daily at sarahmae.com.

Photo Credit: Wooden Cross Copy

You can’t go back.

The days roll forward with indifference; It’s up to you to make them count. It’s up to you how you shape and stretch the hours to form the life you choose to live.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Annie Dillard

Your children are at your mercy with their hours and their days and their mornings and their nights. You are the god of their time. Are you digging your fingers into the clay that is the moments and molding something worth keeping?

How are your days?

Yes, you’re tired, I know. Some days you wish you could just have clear direction; you wish that the voice of the One would speak louder than the voices of those who you aim to please. You want to please Him, but those voices…that person who you feel like you must live up to, or offer defense of your choices, or feel unworthy compared to them. If you just knew what to do, or what was pleasing to God, or who to listen to, you’d follow. In the depths of your heart you’re surrendered to the man who hung on the cross. The man who says, “Anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.”

You want to follow; you want your days and the hours to matter. You want to push out the voices and cling to the One voice that matters. You want to live well and have integrity.

Here’s how you live a life that matters:

You choose surrender to the cross. You stop trying, you surrender.

You count the cost of your “yes.” The yes to surrender, the yes to the bible study or the book club or the blog or travel or alone time or…

Every “yes” has a cost that a wise person must weigh.

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?” Luke 14:28 (NASB)

The only “yes” you should give without reserve is that to serve for Christ’s sake. The cross is heavy and painful and blood stained. If you choose it, you choose surrender. You choose to serve and to lay down.

“Simply put, if you’re not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can’t be my disciple.” Luke 14:33 (MSG)

We must not love anything or anyone more than Jesus. But I believe that when we love Him above all, esteem Him above all, and surrender to Him before all, He will mold our moments.

He will knead and roll and create beauty and life out of this clay, the clay that can only but be still before Him.

Let Him mold you and your days. Whisper off your mornings to Him, being conscience that you will accept the shape He gives. Say yes to Him, and guard your “yes” otherwise. Count the cost of your “yes.” Serve. And by the way, serving doesn’t mean you do more. When you serve “the least of these” you are serving Jesus. I think for many of us, the “least of these” is the eternal ones in our care. Don’t forget to serve your family.

“The dedicated life is the life worth living. You must give with your whole heart.” -Annie Dillard

What are you dedicated to? Do your hours match that dedication?

_______________________

I encourage you to visit Sarah Mae over at SarahMae.com. Subscribe to her blog and receive her newest ebook Frumps to Pumps - Your one-month guide to getting dressed and staying that way, FREE ! You can find her being social on Twitter @sarahmae and on Facebook.com/sarahmaewrites.

Walk with the King,

Filed Under: Regret, Simplify, Stress

My First Failure As a Mother

April 11, 2011 By Courtney 101 Comments

Pictures don’t always tell the whole story.

I could post picture after picture of me smiling with my babies or toddlers and you might be tempted to believe that I must have birthed easy children or am some sort of super mom to be always smiling.

The reality is I have found motherhood to be a very difficult road. The daily sacrifice and demands of being a mom can be overwhelming at times.

The truth is – I have struggled since my first born son came out of the womb! And I have been a reading maniac, trying to figure this thing called motherhood out! I was quite shocked when my first born screamed and cried for the first few months on end.

Let me take you back to a dark moment in my life, when I first became “a mom”…

I hold my 6 week old baby in the rocking chair. He is restless and crying so I cuddle him in and begin to nurse. He drinks for a moment and then cries. What is wrong – why is he doing this? He latches on again for a couple minutes and then stops to cry…we do this for 45 minutes and now I am sweating, unsure of myself and uneasy with how nursing is going. We stop and I just rock him. He is peaceful. We rock. He sleeps.

I go to my computer and google “baby crying during nursing”. I call my sisters – we discuss it – but I still don’t find my answers. I open books – no answers…never in my life have I not been able to will something I want – a goal - into happening…He awakes, we again nuzzle into our chair and I bring him to my breast. Again he cries and fusses. No one told me this would be so hard?

It’s Easter Sunday – I am so proud to bring my new baby out into public for the world to see – but I have a dark secret…our nursing sessions are stressful. I head up to my old bedroom in my parent’s house where I try to nurse him but he refuses to eat. Tears well up in my eyes – what is wrong with me – what is wrong with him – what do I do?

I sit with the lactation consultant at the hospital. She weighs him and then I nurse him for 45 minutes and then she weighs him again…I wait to hear how much milk he took in… he took in 1 ounce. “1 oz…1 OUNCE in 45 minutes!!! What have I done? What is wrong with me? My baby boy is starving!” He is immediately given formula – I go home cyring – Crying over my first failure as a mother.Just sharing this truth is hard for me…it’s hard to admit I did not do what is so natural for so many of you. I want to give my children the best of me – studies show nursing is the best – and though I pumped for months and my son was a very healthy baby – I still feel guilt…and shame…over this failure. ~*I am teary even as I type this paragraph because it is still something that troubles me. I hate the question – “did you nurse?” and then my answer “I tried…I really did try…I don’t know what went wrong?…I failed…”

And so you may ask…well what happened when your second baby came along??? “I tried…for 5 weeks, I exclusively nursed her…then my husband went on a business trip and I was alone for a week with the 2 children. And in my fear…the dark fear that maybe she wasn’t getting enough…and in my isolation with no one to reassure me…I gave up and gave her a bottle…I pumped and supplemented because I needed to see how much she was getting to have peace. So the truth…I gave up…*tear…and I still have trouble forgiving myself for giving up so quickly…I failed.”

Have you ever laid in bed awake at night and wondered – Why me? I don’t understand these circumstances God? Have you ever felt like a failure – like the rest of the world has it figured out and you are the only one who just can’t seem to pull it together? Your will and determination just simply aren’t enough? Your 2 year old won’t let you buckle them in the car, your 3 year old bites, your 4 year old hits, your 10 year old struggles with reading, your teenager is defiant, or your grown child is making poor decisions and you sit there helpless.

So what do we do?

“Cast all your anxious thoughts on him because he cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7)

I remember laying in my bed one night when my children were toddlers and I had had a terrible day managing them. I laid there crying over my motherhood failures and saying over and over until I fell asleep – “he cares for you, he cares for you, he cares for you, he cares for you, he cares for you, he cares for you, he cares for you.” When Satan tempts you to believe otherwise – speak this truth until you find peace. Peace washed over my soul and on a tear drenched pillow I found rest. If you are asking God “Why me?” Stop asking and remember his truth – “He cares for you“- REST in this truth today.

Walk with the King!

Side note – I am not saying that not nursing your babies is failing them…but rather because I was so self-assured that I would nurse my babies till they were one yr old - I was shocked and disappointed at my failure to not reach “my goal”…God humbled me through this experience – I needed to be humbled…and he is still humbling me weekly lol!

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers, We Are That Family, Hip Homeschool Hop and Time-Warp Wife.

Filed Under: Depression, Guilt, Peace, Regret

No Guilt – No Regrets

April 8, 2010 By Courtney 30 Comments

Hebrews 12:1b “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

Recently I was reading some blogs that were convicting me. Or should I say they were making me feel guilty. Guilty for using facebook, twitter and blogging. Guilty for the time I use on technology. So I had to sit back and ask myself – why am I blogging? Is it a selfish pursuit? Is it causing damage to my family?

And then like a wave rushing over me, my very next thought was – because I have ONE life – I’m living it full throttle for Jesus!

Blogging is hard work. The late nights writing and answering emails are not for the weary at heart! Women Living Well is not about me. It’s about my passion – my mission – my burden for my weary sisters in Christ!!!

I have one life and I’m living it full throttle for Jesus! I’m giving my all! I’m not gonna rust out sitting on my duff watching reality television! And I certainly don’t want to burn out, due to my failure to depend on God’s strength. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, I desire to simply be a light on the hill (Matt.5:14) burning faithfully till God calls me home.

I must lean hard on Jesus. Do you feel like respecting and submitting to your husband is so hard? Lean on Jesus for strength and go for it full throttle! Give it your all!

Do you home school and feel exhausted? Stop doing it in your own strength – call on Jesus and stay in the game – full throttle!

Are you exhausted in ministry with people’s troubles, back biting, complaining or lack of support – take your eyes off of your troubles and put them onto your worthy Savior and do it full throttle for him.

Reading our Bible’s daily, respecting our husbands, training our children, creating homes that are havens and reaching a lost world is NOT an easy to-do list – but we must give it our all. Not in a selfish way to receive something but for Jesus.

I’m reminded of missionary and martyr Jim Elliot’s quote “Where ever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”

Why do I bother to blog, facebook, youtube and twitter? Because that is where the next generation of ladies are at and I want to make an impact there. Where has God planted you in this season of life? “Be all there, live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God”! “Run with perseverence the race marked out for you.” (Heb.12:1b)I only have one life and I’m living it to the hilt -full throttle – no guilt, no regrets – join me!

Walk with the King!

Filed Under: Guilt, Perseverance, Regret