Welcome back to the
Messy Beautiful Love*Book Club!
Today we move into chapters 9 & 10 and we have a guest writer! Her name is Mandy and she is a part of the Good Morning Girls Leadership Team!
Mandy is passionate about two things: The Word of God and the Souls of Men (and Ladies!). She is a married to her best friend, and gets the privilege to love on their three blessings (who lost their biological momma leaving her husband widowed).
She loves that the Lord has let her life be an example of delighting in Him and watching Him mold her life to make her desires match His. She spent 9 years in an early childhood classroom, and 4 years in an “in house” seminary program at her home church.She loves to bring God glory through her roles as Christ-follower, Wife and Mother (in that order!)
She enjoys women’s ministry, cooking, crafting, and traveling the world. Her greatest desires are to have her marriage bring God ultimate glory, see her children walk in truth, to lead others to the feet of Jesus, and to lead women into deeper and intimate relationship with their Savior through study of the Word of God.
Mandy is part of the Good Morning Girl Leadership team where she encourages leaders to get into God’s Word each day and invest in the lives of women all over the world. She also blog about living a life of Worship through all aspects of her life at Worshipful Living.
I will never forget the night I sat down to write my vows. It was two weeks before my wedding, and the last day my husband Scott and I would ever be apart. We lived in two different states, and the next day, I would be moving the last of my “big” things. Then, with his whole family in tow, we would head back to Florida for our wedding week activities.
I sat before the computer, thinking about the words I would vow to him. I knew I would be able to do no promise justice without the help of the Lord, so I decided the best thing I could vow were the very Words of God.
I committed two big things to him that day –to be his help meet and to give myself to him completely, as we united in intimacy.
When God designed marriage, it was because it wasn’t good for the man to be alone. So, God made a woman. He made her different then everything else –she wasn’t out of the dust of the ground, but out of the man himself.
“When two are joined together in marriage…a husband opens himself to envelop his bride, and the two grow together as one. When they are completely sealed by he Holy Spirit, that union is protected and strengthened. Like a cord of three strands, it’s not easily broken.” pg. 117
We were created to be united with our spouse for two reasons.
The first, to be a help meet. The same word is used in scripture to talk about how God protects and cares for us. We have a high calling by the God of the universe to be a picture of HIS amazing love by helping our husbands.
So many people think being a help meet is just doing the dishes, folding laundry, cooking dinner and driving carpool. Although all of those things are helping my husband, (Titus 2 is in the Bible for a reason!) – it is so much more.
Don’t forget the spiritual side of being a help meet like prayer, encouraging them in their walk with God, and being an example of faith.
The battle we face today is that of equality. Women read marriage passages of scripture with words like help meet and submission – and they get mad. They want equality.
We equate equality with our value.
We have great value to God and our husbands. God’s word speaks of our value as virtuous women. We are priced far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10), and we are the crown of our husband (Prov.12:4).
The second form of unity with our spouse can be found in chapter 10.
Darlene opens the chapter talking about her and her husband’s first kiss.
I remember the first time I kissed my husband – we had been walking along the beach barefoot, water rushing between our toes. He grabbed my hand, and we turned and looked at one another. The prettiest blue eyes were looking down at me, and filled with more tenderness than I had ever seen. It was in that moment that his lips brushed mine. Lets just say my knees really did go weak.
All of marriage is a picture of Christ and the church – including physical affection.
Psalm 91:4 says “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
Just like this beautiful picture of God, we can find this in the arms of our spouse. When I am in the arms of my husband, I feel like I am in the safest place in the world. When I am sad or when I have been hurt, it is the arms of my husband that I run to for physical support and protection.
People often think when we talk about this subject, our main goal is to make intimacy a priority in marriage but it is more than that. It is making our spouse a priority.
There are going to be different seasons when your love making is going to be different. Slowing down is not the same as eliminating it. Make sure you are still touching, holding hands, kissing, and hugging. Be present in the moment.
Intimacy is a beautiful thing.
We have intimacy with Christ. We spend time in His Word, knowing the deepest things that He has. The more time we spend, the more we know Him. The same is true in our marriages. We need to take time to KNOW – really KNOW – our husbands. Study them. Talk to them – and LISTEN to what they say.
The more we know our husband’s heart through listening, the more we will know him.
The more we know him, the more we will love him.
The more we know and love him, the more intimate we will want to be with him.
Your moments of intimacy will be a culmination of your relationship with him, putting into motion all the things you can’t say to him, because there really are no words.
As I sit here and write this, reflecting on both chapters, I am reminded that God has created man and woman very different. We serve a very creative God. Yet, God’s ultimate desire for marriage is to bring him glory – from the way we help our husbands, all the way to our intimacy with them.
Each part of our marriage brings glory to God. May we hold our marriages before God as the sacred gift they are.
Thank you Mandy for being with us here today!
Join the Discussion:
1.) What season of life is your marriage in?
2.) What are some ways you help your husband?
3.) Are you and your husband affectionate? In what ways?
4.) How can you improve as a help meet or in the area of affection?
Join the conversation by answer 1,2, or all 4 questions in the comment section.