Day 5 – Are You a Porcupine Wife?

So I had a situation recently, where I was a COMPLETE porcupine to my husband!  I made amends but it still bothers me. Why has it bothered me so? Because God has been reminding me of all the times he says in the Bible to keep peace with others and I failed to do so by having a loose tongue!

Matthew 5:9 says “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.”

A while back I read a book by Donna Partow where she discussed the thought of being a porcupine. She suggested that if you are someone who always has to be “right” then you may be a porcupine.
“A porcupine has a lot of good points, but nobody wants to be around it.”
A porcupine is someone that you really don’t want to be close to because when you do get close to them – they hurt you.
Are you a porcupine wife?  
Do you say things without thought of how it may affect your husband?
Does your husband have to live with a wife who is always right or at any moment may criticize the way he does something, demean him in front of friends or family or get pushed away when he comes near for a snuggle?
Then you are a porcupine wife…and you CAN stop!  We don’t have to have loose tongues and we can accept his friendly advances with a smile.  We can have joy and intimacy in marriage if we will let our guards down.
The key: 
1. Pray.   Ask God to help you have restraint and to keep you from hurting your husband.
2.  Study God’s word and let him renew your mind.  Go through Proverbs chapters 10-31 and mark every verse that refers to the tongue and your speech – you’ll be amazed at all of the wisdom there!  It truly IS life changing!
3. Memorize.  Pick one of the verses from your Proverbs study and memorize it!  Then in times when you are tempted to “poke” your husband – pause – and recite God’s word…let it change you from the inside out!
This is part 5 in a series of 10!

Be sure to visit these brilliant women during our 10 days adventure between November 7th-18th! I love these ladies and we know you will too.

10 days of Character Studies | Confessions of a Homeschooler
10 days of Christmas Countdown Ideas | Milk & Cookies
10 days of Creative Writing | Chocolate on My Cranium
10 days of Crockpot Meals | The Happy Housewife
10 Days to a Godly Marriage | Women Living Well
10 Days of Growing Leaders | Mom’s Mustard Seeds
10 Days of Homeschooling High School | Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers
10 days of I Wish I Had Known | Fruit in Season
10 days of Keeping Your Marbles | The Tie That Binds Us
10 days of Kid-friendly Food | Planner Perfect
10 Days of Language Arts Lesson Planning | Jimmie’s Collage
10 Days of Learning Apps | Daze of Adventure
10 Days of a Mason Jar Christmas | Cajun Joie de Vivre
10 Days of More JESUS in Christmas | Preschoolers and Peace
10 Days to a Peaceful Home | Raising Arrows
10 Days of Raising a Life-Long-Learner | Bright Ideas Press
10 days of Science with Math | Blog, She Wrote
10 days of Teaching Values | Our Journey Westward
10 days of Winning your Child’s Heart | I Take Joy

Let me lay a challenge before you…try to go the entire weekend without “poking” your husband in anyway!  Pray, read Proverbs chapter 10 and memorize Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
Walk with the King!
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  1. Katherine says

    Thank you so much for this. I have started to read the Proverbs and pay attention!!!! I shall encourage my daughter to memorize some favourites with me (and I will use your photo album/card method that I saw on your vlog ‘My Bible study method and tips). I am inspired.

    God Bless,


  2. says

    Oh man, I’m more of a porcupine than not. i’m not entirely sure I can go the day without ‘poking’, much less the weekend. I never thought about it before.. I must be a really fun person to live with..

  3. Karla says

    Were you at our house yesterday? Thank you for this message and challenge. I will take you up on it! I do not want to be a porcupine wife!!

  4. says

    As much as it pains me to admit it, I am a Porcupine Wife. I often make small gestures or remarks to my husband that he has told me are “mean.” The biggest problem with this is that I am usually completely blind to the fact that I am hurting him. I’m too wrapped in my own opinion and don’t understand the weight of my actions. He’s even said he’s going to try responding to me the way I do him so I can see what it is like but he’s so kind he never has – I will certainly be focusing on the chapters in Proverbs you mentioned and will take your challenge and pray for success in becoming a kinder wife. Thank you!

  5. says

    I had to LOL at that one because you just held a mirror in front of my face! It really isn’t anything to laugh at though because I DO want my husband to WANT to be around me. I am going to do P & P ( Proverbs and Pray) over this issue in my life.
    Thanks to all the women for sharing their comments and being authentic. We learn from each other!

  6. Krystal says

    I really needed this. This is me inside and out! I have never taken thought to what I have been doing. My marriage has been down and we have even talked about spliting. But we have decided to work on our issues and this is one I really need to control. Thank you for sharing! Your thoughts have helped me truly see what I need to be doing as a stay at home wife and mother, and how I need to be with my husband.

  7. says

    I used to be horrendous to my husband, but like one of your other commentors said he was so kind and loyal that he never retaliated in the same way. Then I got closer to God and things got better for a bit, I was more patient and thoughtful to everyone, not just him. However eventually he did do something to hurt me really badly and although we’ve worked through and are going to stay together I find it so hard to want to be nice. I don’t deliberately want to make things hard, I just really don’t have any feelings so I find I don’t want to make any effort towards being nice. I want to be able to say “I’ve done something nice for my husband because I love him so much and he’s so special to me”, but the feelings just aren’t there. I hate it being this way.

  8. says

    I always thought of porcupines as ugly, rough and prickly. Lately, I have been pretty ugly, rough and prickly. Ok I accept the challenge “no poking” this weekend. Right now our Bible Study group is wearing Complaint Bands (a hairtie on our wrist) and each time we complain we are to switch the wrist it is on. We are to record the complaint and figure out ways to NOT complain. I have switched mine many times, it has made me more conscious of what I am complaining about and why?? Along with the NO complaining and no poking, my husband and my children will probably think, “what’s wrong with Mom?”

  9. says

    Love this image! What could be worse. And a little boy in my science co-cop actually brought in a porcupine quill to show me. I had never seen one!! Do you know how thick, tough, long and pointy those things are? They could do some serious damage! Thanks for this great post.

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