It all began like this. I arrived to my room to a beautiful bag of She Speaks goodies. I sat down on my bed, and opened the conference program. I flipped from page to page in anticipation of all that I was about to experience.
I came to the end of the book and there it was – the pictures of all the speakers. I flipped to mine and burst out laughing!
Notice anything strange there? lol!
Anonymous is not usually synonymous with being a speaker…but in this case it was. God nudged my heart and reminded me – I was simply there to serve. I felt sure that was a direct way of God reminding me to keep my eyes fixed on him.
If you read yesterday’s post – you saw how enamoured I was with the opportunity to meet so many women who have spoken into my life and as I looked around – quickly my eyes went from being fixed on God to the fear of man. My nervousness took over. But God in his graciousness allowed peace to fall down over me each time I stood to speak. But there was one time I stood where it
I had just finished a session of speaking and a line of women followed me out into the hallway where we continued to talk for nearly 30 minutes. When we finished talking I went to the HUGE room where Lysa Terkeurst was in the middle of her session. The room was packed full – wall to wall with no chairs left – I’d guess maybe 2-300 women were in the room. I had a glass of water in my hand, my bible, my notes, my camera and purse – I was a mess – and I plopped my messy self down on the floor.
Only moments later, Lysa would say –
“Let me introduce you to someone who is amazing at marketing – my good friend Courtney.”
She looked my direction.
“Courtney please stand up.”
Now remember I’m on the floor in a skirt and heels with all my junk piled around me on the floor – so getting up in a lady-like manner was not easy – but my heart started beating fast – she’s looking at me – and in my mind I’m thinking – wow she just called me a “good friend“. We just met.
So I stand like a peakcock all smiles!
Heads crank around and look at me. I’m still standing there like a peacock! Then it happens…
I realize another girl is standing too! Lysa goes on to explain “Courtney” gave her a great idea for the marketing of her new book Unglued.
I’ve given her NO ideas for the marketing of Unglued. I drop down to the ground like a bullet tipping my water. Now everyone who cranked their necks around can see I’m a bit of a mess! I slip out and go to the bathroom to get paper towels and in the bathroom I look myself in the mirror and say – “girlfriend – why in the world did you stand? You know you are aren’t “good friends” with Lysa! And who is this other “Courtney” girl?” lol!
Hoping not too many people noticed – I went on in the conference trying to recover lol! Then I got this tweet from the other Courtney :
Bless her heart – she and I talked and laughed about it all and I discovered – she has a great blog!
Later I saw Lysa and I wondered – did she see me stand like a peacock? Oh yes – yes she did!!! She said “Courtney I am so sorry! I just didn’t know how to recover for you!” lol!
Later I got to spend some time with Lysa getting to know her a little better and when we parted ways on the last day – she looked at me and said “Now I can truly say, my good friend Courtney” lol!
He speaks. When we take our eyes off of him…in his gracious and loving way – He still speaks. He spoke in the hotel room when I was alone looking at the picture in the program. He spoke and gave peace when I was nervous before speaking and He met me in the bathroom when I was all alone kicking myself for standing! He speaks.
And once my eyes were back fixed on him – humbled – at his feet – He spoke reminding me of Psalm 141:8a.
Psalm 141:8a “But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge.”
When we want to run and hide – take refuge in him. He Speaks.