“Be My Valentine” ~ Marriage Challenge


There are 4 weeks until Valentine’s Day so I thought it might be fun to do a little –

 “Be My Valentine” ~ Marriage Challenge!  

Each week the challenge will be the same – to praise, encourage, inspire, admire, build up, thank and appreciate your husband. But each week I will give you different ways to express your praise. Feel free to tweak it for what you think is best for your husband.

JR Miller writes “So it is in the dark hours of a man’s life, when burdens press, when sorrows weigh like mountains upon his soul, when adversities have left him crushed and broken, or when he is in the midst of fierce struggles which try the strength of every fibre of his manhood, that all the radiance and glory of a true wife’s strengthful love shine out before his eyes. Only then does he recognize in her God’s angel of mercy.”
 Let’s be angels of mercy to our husbands. We may think they are filled with confidence and strength but they are only human. They have insecurities, fears, failures, burdens and cares that we do not always slow down to recognize. We lose our tenderness in the hustle and bustle of life and this month let’s slow down and really see our husband’s with fresh eyes.
It’s tempting to make Valentine’s Day all about ourselves – but let’s pursue selfless living  as Philippians 2:3-4 says “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”(NIV)

Week 1 starts this Monday!


Week 1 January 21st – Look for ways to praise your husband verbally. Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on facebook, tweet it – get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done – in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine’s Day arrives!

 Week 2  January 28th – This week we will be a little more creative with our praise. I will give you many ideas of fun things you can do to praise your husband such as surprising him with a love message on the mirror, using sidewalk chalk to write on the driveway, making a toast to him at dinner with friends etc. Get creative with your selflessness!

Week 3 February 4th – Pursue intimacy and place the intimate needs of your man above your own. Seek to “kiss him like you mean it” every single day this week! Solomon 5:16 says “His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely.” Paula Rinehart says that for many men, “Sex is like a silent cheer.” Our men feel stronger, more capable, and built up when we respond to their advances with a smile. Give a Foot massage, back rub, shower together, be creative!
Week 4 February 11th – Women love romance, chocolate and flowers on Valentines Day. Do you know what your husband wants? Ask him! I’ll give you some ideas of what I have planned later :) !
“When you touch your husband’s deepest need something good almost always happens!”
~ Dr. Emerson Eggerich
So I challenge you today to join us and show your husband you like him!!!
If you are a blogger and you’d like to blog your way through this challenge – I invite you to “copy-save as” the button below and put it on your blog and then link-up below.
We’d love to see what creative things you are doing or how your husband responds :) ! I will be pinning some of your posts to my “Inspiring Christian Wives” Pinterst page! 


 If you are not a blogger – leave a comment below to let us know that you are taking the challenge!

Walk with the King,


    • Beth says

      Definitely in! Thank you for the challenge and the reminder of how incredibly blessed I am to be married to the man God chose for me! He is the light of my life and so many days I just take for granted that he knows this. I am looking forward to blessing his heart!

    • Rochelle says

      I’m in!! This sounds absolutely wonderful. Our wedding anniversary happens to fall on Valentine’s Day so what a wonderful way to lead up to it! I can’t wait to get started reminding my husband how thankful I am to be by his side on this journey called life.

  1. says

    I’m in! I’m always up for things that help me focus on the best in my husband, because all too easily I focus on the bad. I’m in the process of retraining my mind and heart to see him as He sees him.

    Thanks Courtney!!!

  2. says

    I’m in! I need this as much as he does…sometimes we get so caught up in the business that we take our husbands for granted and forget to appreciate them. Thank you for doing this…you have no idea how timely it is.

  3. Cindy says

    My hubby works so hard for our family. I do try to compliment him from time to time, but not as often as he deserves. This will be great, and I know he will appreciate it. :)

  4. Jessica says

    I am in!! The last week of the challenge starts on my 13th wedding anniversary. This will be a great ‘gift’ for my husban!

  5. Maralee says

    I am in :) I know how much he does for us and I sometimes lack in the area of letting him know. This will be a great reminder!

  6. Erica says

    This is a fabulous idea!! I will be looking forward to the ideas you share so I can implement them in our marriage. My hubby is gone during the week and only home on weekends so I will need to get creative and start planning on how to make him feel loved even when we are not together. Thanks for the challenge:)

  7. Lisa Seegert says

    Well, I have to confess that this is not going to come easy, but I believe that the Lord has put this in view for such a time as this. I have grown a little discouraged and bitter instead of rejoicing the way that God commands and I am sour. Please pray for me as I pray and ask God to change my heart and give me the courage to obey Him in this.

    • Tracey says

      Lisa, I don’t usually reply to other comments but as I read yours I felt I needed to pray for you. , I’m not sure what is going on in your life but I will pray for you. Bitterness hurts both of you. And I will pray with you as you pray for a changed heart and for your obedience in this. Hopefully this will get easier for you as the weeks progress.
      Love in Christ

  8. Julie in Houston says

    I’m in! How do we follow this? Do we get email notificatoins? Sometime your posts get lost in my FB feed. Thanks! :) My hubby will appreciate it. It’s our first V-Day as a married couple.

  9. Kristi V. says

    I’m in! I definitely need to be more intentional about my relationship with my husband!! Thanks for putting this together.

  10. Kitara says

    I am excited to find a new way to show my hubby-bubby how much I love and care for him! I shared this with my MOPs group and they are getting excited to do this too!

  11. says

    Thank you for all you do for us Courtney always drawing us closer to the Lord and our families. I am really looking forward to this one.

    Adrienne R

  12. Brittany Molina-Benitez says

    I’m totally in… This sounds awesome. I can’t wait to follow people and see all of the crazy ideas they come up with.

  13. says

    I put up the wrong post #6 so you can delete it if you want. I meant to put up the post I wrote to my husband for Valentine’s day so I put that up also. Thanks Courtney.

  14. Rebecca Roach says

    I’m in! I started the Love Dare last week, so this just goes hand-in-hand with that. The Lord is showing me new and wonderful things every day that are changing my life and our marriage. We’ll celebrate 30 years of marriage this year and I feel as though I’m just now learning how to truly be the wife that my husband deserves, the one that God commands me to be. Thank you for this challenge, this is only going to make it better! Blessings!

  15. Cheryl O says

    I’m in!! My husband has sacrificed so much for me and my kids. He deserves more than I’ve given in the 2 years we’ve been married. I’m ready to do this!!

  16. Sue V says

    I’m in … what an awesome idea … and, once we get going … it’s not even going to be a challenge anymore!! (Where do we sign up for reminders and get updates on ideas and stuff?)

  17. Cara says

    Definitely in! We’ve been going through a rough patch, but we’ve recommitted ourselves to our marriage, and this is perfect timing for me to show him how much I appreciate him!

  18. Mandi says

    I’m in. I think my hubby needs this right now along with I need to do this. I am in my last month of pregnancy and this has been one emotional roller-coaster. All I keep hearing is “you were never this emotional during your other pregnancy”. I know my emotions have taken a toll on him as much as they have on me. =)

  19. Emily says

    I’m definitely in. He works so hard to provide for us. I run out of ways to show him that we really do appreciate all his hard work! This is such a great idea!

  20. Mrs. S says

    I’m in my husband is always so thoughtful and kind; he definitely deserves this. I look forward to next week; will start creating ideas now!

  21. Kayla says

    Very cool. I am also in. Last year for valentine’s I set up a scavenger hunt that led him to a couple small gifts and then to my place of work – Where I told him I was but was really at home making dinner and decorating a romantic living room. Needless to say this went over REALLY well! I sent him to places like the theater and restaurant where we had our first dates, the place we first kissed etc.

  22. Heather says

    Taking the callenge! I have been feeling like I have been putting my husband
    Sat after, work, kids and myself. This will be a great way to get jump started again! Thanks!

  23. Carrie Ford says

    I have been looking for something like this to get me back into praising my husband. Love everything he sacrifices for us!

  24. Shadda Dunn says

    I am up for the challenge! I love my husband so much and love new ideas of ways to lift him up and let him know what he means to me! Thanks for this!

  25. Lily says

    I’m in for the challenge, not only it is a fabulous idea, but my husband urgently needs to know how much I love him and I appreciate him. I’m on my 3rd trimester of pregnancy with our first child and I’m spending a lot of my time on all things baby, naturally, but my dear husband is my No1 man and my rock! This is my chance before baby arrives to show him my love and dedication.

  26. Tyann says

    Thank you for this challenge! It is an awesome way to remind myself it’s not all about me and what an amazing man of God I am blessed with. Thank you Lord!

  27. says

    I love this idea and even though I am not married yet, I am sure I can apply some of these to my intended :)
    Are there any online ministries similar to Women Living Well or even affiliated with it for men? My man is intrigued by all the things WLW does for me and would like to have something similar in his life. Any tips from you ladies?

  28. Renee says

    I’m in. We are in the reconcilliation stage and this will be great way to help me show my husband that I do appreciate him and want out marriage to work.

  29. Michelle says

    I’m in! This is just the boost my marriage needs after 7 months of living in survival mode with our new baby girl.

  30. Andriana says

    Thanks for sharing your ministry with others, Courtney! I am looking forward to this challenge and uplifting my husband daily, as he is my true Valentine!

  31. Maureen says

    I’m in! Lately my husband and I have fallen into that whole “hustle bustle”, taxi-cab driving, got to get the kids from this place to this etc. We literally pass each other on the road and don’t get to see each other until later that night when we’re too sleepy to think straight much less have a conversation.
    This challenge should help everyone out in our household. Besides, who doesn’t like compliments and romance :)
    Great idea!

  32. Lana Hatfield says

    Thank you so much! Just this morning I was praying honoring and trusting my husband like I am commanded of the Lord to do. This challenge is just the thing I need to keep me motivated in doing right! LOVE YOUR SITE AND THE ENCOURAGEMENT IT GIVES!!!!

  33. Eline Rambo says

    I’m in! Think of all the men out there that will be a little more confident, encouraged and smiling a lot more over the next four weeks!

  34. Anne says

    Absolutely I’m in!! I’m always thinking I need to do meaningful little things for him but I don’t know where to start. So today I’m breaking out of my box thanks to you!!!

  35. Pam S says

    Such a great idea, we will be moving to a new home on the 23rd of February so this will be good to help us get through the moving part. Very excited :)

  36. says

    I very much resonated with the quote you pulled by JR Miller. My husband recently told me that right now he is the most stressed he has ever been. With that awareness, I have prayerfully asked God to give me wisdom on how to encourage my husband. Oftentimes, he appears deflated when he comes home from work, but by the end of a nice evening together, he seems much more at peace and regularly tells me I’m the best wife for him, he’s so happy we’re married, etc. I try to affirm him, be aware of when he needs space and quiet, join him in his interests, etc. When he’s been working all day, I want him to come home and enjoy being here with our family. On days where I nag, am extremely negative or down, etc., it can make him withdraw if he already was feeling down. Of course, he is more than willing to walk with me through my struggles, but I do need to be responsible with myself so I’m not being selfish or overdramatic.

  37. Trish says

    What a great idea! I am married to the love of my life for almost 39 years now and it’s good to remind him how important he is to me. Thanks and Blessings. :)

  38. Linda says

    I’m a 54 yr old wife who loves, cherishes and respects her husband tremendously…however, I do not often show him the “hero” I think he is. This is an awesome challenge even for the “older” wives! Thank you!

  39. says

    I love this post. I wanna join in, even though it’s going to be difficult for me. You see, hubby (my darling Redneck) works over four hours away right now, and we have to coordinate our phone calls. However–I plan on praising him in my blog this week (www.haulingwoodandchoppingwater.blogspot.com), and wghen I talk to him on the phone, I will find things to praise him for. He will be home before Valentine’s Day, and only for a few days, so I am now thinking of ways to celebrate him while he is home.

    Thanks for the eye opener!
    Bible Babe

  40. Amy S. says

    LOVE THIS! I am totally in!!! I love my husband but sometimes struggle telling and showing him! This will be good for me and HIM! What a wonderful idea. Thank you for sharing and giving us the opportunity to do a little something too!!!

  41. says

    LOVE this idea…my husband and I will be celebrating our 11 year anniversary on February 2nd and then of course move right into Valentines Day romance. This should be fun! I’m hoping to blog about it and link up! Thanks for hosting and inspiring!

  42. Crystal says

    I’m in. Our second son is due right after Valentine’s Day, so I haven’t exactly been pleasant recently. He definitely deserves this after all he puts up with.

  43. Jennifer says

    Courtney, thank you for this challenge! I have started a group with friends and we have committed together to complete this challenge and encourage each other along the way. We are all very excited and we have already started sharing things with each other on what makes our husbands so special to us. It has also made us realize some of the things we take for granted.

  44. Malina says

    My husband and I are active duty Air Force and have been geographically separated for 2 years. I’m still totally in for everything I can do. Lets do this!

  45. Sheri L Cowley says

    I too will take the challenge. I’m married to a wonderful man. I fail to tell him how much he means to me so I need this!!

  46. Michelle says

    I love this idea! We get so caught up in the busyness of life and focus on the kids that I tend to lose focus on us as a couple. It’s a great opportunity to reconnect with my amazing hubby!

  47. Tara H says

    I’m in! I can always use more ideas on how to show my love/like for my wonderful husband! Thanks so much for doing this challenge!

  48. Pam Henry says

    Praise God that He has given me the honor of being his wife. Being married to my husband is like opening a gift daily. We will be married 39years in March and I thank God for my man every day. We enjoy going on picnics. It is a fun way to enjoy each other.

  49. Dee Ann Bass says

    Right now I am preparing a talk for women on healthy marriages. My own marriage has been redeemed and God is doing a mighty work in us. I cannot think of a better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day and my husband. Thank you for this inspiration!

  50. Leslie Staggs says

    Not sure why I’m not a blogger – everyone else is. But I am up to the challenge. It’s been weighing heavy on my heart of late. My husband is on his eighth month of unemployment, and it’s getting to him. My goal is to lift him up and let him know that he is doing things right at home – then prayerfully he’ll exude the confidence he needs out there in the job market!

  51. Cindy says

    This is an answer to my prayer – literally! My husband and I will celebrate our 23rd Anniversary this April. Over the past 10+ years we have been slowly drifting apart. We have lost so much between us that I’m not sure how or where to start to build the bridges and tear down the walls. My heart has grown cold yet I still love him deeply! Count me in because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this is a challenging God expects me to take. I pray He is the strength I need to carry out the tasks with a joyful heart and honors my efforts with a strong, loving and passionate marriage to the man who has given me so much more than I could ever deserve.

  52. Mallory says

    What a great idea! We are celebrating our second Valentine’s Day as a married couple this year, and I feel like last year we didn’t do anything meaningful together. I like the idea that it’s not just one day of appreciating our husbands either, it’s 4 weeks! so excited!

  53. Jessica says

    Thank you for this challenge. For years I have “hated” Valentine’s Day because it had become so commercialized and cheesy. Until I met my boyfriend, I never imagined that a man would enjoy the typical Valentine’s Day gifts. It is my goal this year, to turn my thoughts on this holiday to those of selfless love.

  54. Angie Davenport says

    I’m taking the challenge! It will be a bit of a challenge, because I am a travel nurse and am currently on assignment in AZ on the Navajo Reservation. I’m not supposed to go home until the end of my assignment in March, but I’m thinking of a surprise trip home the week of Valentine’s!

  55. Julie says

    My hubby & I are under a huge amount of stress from our jobs right now. It would be the perfect time for Satan to attack our marriage. I will take this challenge to strengthen our marriage and to be my husband’s angel of mercy! May God use this challenge to build up my husband and to help him overcome his feelings of being overwhelmed at work.

  56. Chris W says

    I’m IN, this will be a fun challenge….it’s a win/win to make your spouse feel appreciated and loved!! Thanks for the opportunity!!

  57. Nissa says

    Very exciting, I am in! Thank you. Is it o.k. to share this challenge on Instagram for our friends who don’t do FB?

  58. Lorraine says

    A wonderful challenge! I love my husband and hope that he knows how much he means to me. This challenge is a wonderful way of putting my thoughts and feelings into action. Thank you!

  59. Amanda says

    I’m in. I rang hubby straight after I finished reading to tell him how much I love him and appreciate all he does. THANK YOU! My husband works so hard to make sure we have everything we need, he even volunteered to work over the Christmas break only taking off Christmas and Boxing Day. Yet he still manages to spend time with the kids even though he is exhausted. He deserves to be praised at the moment he is working nights and I’m on days so a kiss when he is going to bed and I am getting out is the closest we get to time together yet he never complains. Thank You for putting this challenge together I’m sure it will make a different in my marriage and that of many others.

  60. Jeni says

    Thank you for the challenge! I’m in! My husband really deserves this, it is gonna be a little tough, but I know my marriage needs it! Thank you so much!

  61. Cynthia Reid says

    Wow!! This is a great challenge, I am definitely in. I just got married back in November 2012. I am not working, and my hubby takes care of everything within the family and the house. I love my hubby, and I really thank God for sending him to. I texted him, so that he know I really appreciate him and what he do for the family. My Hero in Jesus name<3

  62. Sandi says

    This will definitely be a challenge, but I am going to give it a shot. My husband and I are going on 9 years together and there are times that I don’t tell him enough how much I appreciate everything he does for me. I can’t even being to express how much I appreciate my husband, he helps to keep me grounded when all I want to do is run….

  63. michelle says

    i am in!!! my husband and i are separated right now and i’m begging God to reconcile us and to stay married. i am taking the challenge for God to teach me to a better godly wife to my husband and to show my children what a godly marriage should look like.

  64. Robin Hughes says

    I am in!! Also asking my friends to join me. Been married over 36 years but my man still needs to hear how much I love him and appreciate him. Thanks for the challenge !! Your sister in Christ, Robin

  65. Shelly Hanson says

    I love this! Can’t wait to do it. I truly believe that the love and attention we show our husbands comes back to us 10 fold.

    Great Idea!


  66. Teresa says

    I’m definitely in!!! My husband does so much for not only me but for everyone!!! He has such a big heart and he deserves to always be appreciated and loved and cherished!!! I should really be doing this every day of our lives together!!!

  67. Britt says

    My husband and I have been going through a lot the past few months. From finances, health issues, our marriage, and now he kust got laid off. So I think this is just what we need! I feel blessed to have found this and I cant wait to read your week 4 ideaz! Thank you.

  68. Tiffany says

    I started a little late. My husband does not have his own FB account but likes to go through mine and make comments every once in a while so I posted a comment starting off with “Dear ___,” just to get his attention and then I went on thanking him for working so hard and so on. Today I took a picture of me and my youngest with big smiles and sent it to him saying “we think your a GREAT dad!”

  69. Reina Kuehne says

    I accepted your challenge and have been sending a message to my husband since Monday on facebook. It is so cool to see how he melts by hearing the words, small as they may be! I appreciate the idea! I have been married since 1990 to an awesome man who has been my friend since 1976 when we met in middle school. I love him and am thrilled when we draw closer to each other! God has been good to us and He has given me a husband that puts up with me when maybe no one else would! I love that he loves me and my faults!! I feel bad to write or say things to him in front of others sometimes because others don’t have the fortune of a relationship like ours, but I am glad that I decided to participate because he deserves it!!

  70. Nicole says

    I’m in, and we aren’t even married yet!! Even though it’s a little late to join the challenge, it seems like something that will really help make him feel loved and appreciated. He deserves it so much for everything he does!!

  71. Sylvia says

    I am most definitely in on this! With my husbands work hours and mine, at times, it’s almost as we were room mates. This should help him know for sure how much he is loved, appreciated and thought of!!


  72. Anna F says

    okay so I am on Week 2 of the be my vallentine and I did the ABC but instead of post it notes I put it on his face book page so every time he went to check his facebook account there was some new letters with something how I felt he loved it and got excited to look to see what new letters there were and what they were going to say

  73. Teneshia says

    I’m in… Can’t wait to start! I know my husband is going to wonder what’s going on with me lol. I can’t wait to see his face:-)

  74. Bianca says

    My husband leaves at 5:30 am for work…while me and our 4 month old are warm and sleeping in our bed, he has to get himself up and go to work. He hates leaving us. In the past I have left him a thank you card for all of his hard work on his dash board to give him a boost for the day!! Would love some more ideas!!!

  75. Cristy says

    Hello, was wondering if there is a way to print out just the out the 4 week challanges. I am doing just wanting a quick reminder.

    PS our kids are looking foward to the family dinner in RED. or PINK or just have something to do with hearts… This is now one of my favorite dinners…


  76. Mel says

    Shouldn’t we do this kind of stuff for our husbands continually? Seems kinda silly to make it for valentines day only.

    • says

      Yes – we should :)

      But realistically speaking when you have multiple kids and life is hard and busy and there’s strains on your marriage…the love can fizzle. Statistics show marriages are falling apart everyday and we aren’t doing this “kind of stuff for our husbands continually.” Sometimes journeying together to work on our marriages can really help put a spring in our step and as the comments have shown on the following posts from this challenge –many marriages were blessed through this series. Praise God! And that’s not silly at all 😉

  77. cristina says

    I’m in.. I always love surprising my husband I always do it when he least expected.. His a hard working husband n daddy of two beautiful girls we have together❤

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