“The wise woman builds her house,but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
I remember being in a fight with my husband and knowing he was wrong and I was absolutely right. There was NO way I was going to apologize for anything I had said or done and I was not about to be the first one to try to make amends. This huge fight was his fault and he was going to have to come to me and make it right.
I dug my heels in sure that any minute he would come up the stairs and beg me for forgiveness…and I waited…waited in anguish – crying – praying…praying…praying…uh oh I sense God telling me to give him grace. Uh oh – thoughts of forgiveness and mercy ran through my mind.
“No way God! Not this time! No quick easy forgiveness from me – no mercy!”
…a flood began surging in my soul…I knew that I could not suppress the truths of God’s word…and so I got up slowly and put one foot in front of the other…I went down one step and then the next slowly…and I went first…and apologized. And as I went first – the flood gates of communication opened up free and clear – a civil conversation appeared out of no where and the road to reconciliation began.
Going first. It’s not easy to be the one to take the initiative and go first…it takes great strength and humility. I’ve been called a doormat on many occasions on-line for my beliefs about marriage…a doormat sounds weak…I am not weak.
It’s easy to scream, yell, and fight. No one has to teach me how to do that! lol! The harder thing is to control my tongue and choose to not fight. That takes strength. The weak are those who hold a grudge, remain in their bitterness, refuse to forgive – the strong are secure in their faith knowing that they are loved with the unfailing love of Jesus. The strong can give what Jesus gave – forgiveness, mercy and grace.
And so we come to week one’s “Be My Valentine” Marriage Challenge. Some of you jumped on board quickly and are ready to do this but others…
Others may have decided this was not for you. Maybe your marriage is struggling, your husband is being annoying, you are in the midst of a fight or you’ve grown distant from your husband. Maybe it’s REALLY hard to even think of one nice thing to say.
These challenges really are challenges for you.
Would you consider just trying a little bit, to do a little something this week just to see what God will do through your willingness to go first and bless your husband? I am praying as you take the initiative, that God will strengthen you and bless your marriage through you!
Week 1 Challenge – Take the Initiative! Look for ways to praise your husband verbally.
Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on facebook, tweet it – get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done – in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine’s Day arrives!
Here’s some practical ways to communicate your praise:
1. Text him with a sweet message that includes something you appreciate about him (or maybe a picture collage like my one above) I learned this from Pinterest !
2. Email him today telling him how grateful you are for him.
3. If he’s on Facebook – go to his wall or post a status update praising him
4. Offer to say the prayer before dinner and then in your prayer thank God for him and give specifics.
5. As you give him a kiss hello, goodbye or goodnight – insert a little word of thanks and praise.
The challenge includes doing this every single day until Valentine’s Day but I want to be realistic…for some of you this is gonna take babysteps. So just do what you can – something is always better than nothing. And next week, we’ll get even more creative with ways to show our men we don’t just love them – we LIKE them!!
Chime In: Once you accomplish praising him at least one time – leave a comment in the comment section tellling us what you did – we can all benefit from your inspiration and creativity!
And if you want to use the comment section as a place to write something you appreciate about your husband, then send him here to see how you publically praised him – go for it!!!
If you are a blogger – I invite you to blog about this week’s challenge. As time allows, I will be visiting your blogs and pinning your posts on my “Inspiring Christian Wives” Pinterest Board. Please include this button in your post: