Be My Valentine ~ Week 1 – Take the Initiative

 
“The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” 
~Proverbs 14:1 

I remember being in a fight with my husband and knowing he was wrong and I was absolutely right. There was NO way I was going to apologize for anything I had said or done and I was not about to be the first one to try to make amends. This huge fight was his fault and he was going to have to come to me and make it right.

I dug my heels in sure that any minute he would come up the stairs and beg me for forgiveness…and I waited…waited in anguish – crying – praying…praying…praying…uh oh I sense God telling me to give him grace. Uh oh – thoughts of forgiveness and mercy ran through my mind.

“No way God! Not this time! No quick easy forgiveness from me – no mercy!”

…a flood began surging in my soul…I knew that I could not suppress the truths of God’s word…and so I got up slowly and put one foot in front of the other…I went down one step and then the next slowly…and I went first…and apologized. And as I went first – the flood gates of communication opened up free and clear – a civil conversation appeared out of no where and the road to reconciliation began.

Going first. It’s not easy to be the one to take the initiative and go first…it takes great strength and humility. I’ve been called a doormat on many occasions on-line for my beliefs about marriage…a doormat sounds weak…I am not weak.

It’s easy to scream, yell, and fight. No one has to teach me how to do that! lol! The harder thing is to control my tongue and choose to not fight. That takes strength. The weak are those who hold a grudge, remain in their bitterness, refuse to forgive – the strong are secure in their faith knowing that they are loved with the unfailing love of Jesus. The strong can give what Jesus gave – forgiveness, mercy and grace.

 And so we come to week one’s “Be My Valentine” Marriage Challenge.  Some of you jumped on board quickly and are ready to do this but others…

Others may have decided this was not for you.  Maybe your marriage is struggling, your husband is being annoying, you are in the midst of a fight or you’ve grown distant from your husband.  Maybe it’s REALLY hard to even think of one nice thing to say.

These challenges really are challenges for you. 

Would you consider just trying a little bit, to do a little something this week just to see what God will do through your willingness to go first and bless your husband?  I am praying as you take the initiative, that God will strengthen you and bless your marriage through you! 

Week 1 Challenge - Take the Initiative!  Look for ways to praise your husband verbally.

Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on facebook, tweet it – get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done – in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine’s Day arrives!

 

 

Here’s some practical ways to communicate your praise:

1. Text him with a sweet message that includes something you appreciate about him (or maybe a picture collage like my one above) I learned this from Pinterest :) !

2. Email him today telling him how grateful you are for him.

3. If he’s on Facebook – go to his wall or post a status update praising him

4.  Offer to say the prayer before dinner and then in your prayer thank God for him and give specifics.

5. As you give him a kiss hello, goodbye or goodnight – insert a little word of thanks and praise.

The challenge includes doing this every single day until Valentine’s Day but I want to be realistic…for some of you this is gonna take babysteps.  So just do what you can – something is always better than nothing.  And next week, we’ll get even more creative with ways to show our men we don’t just love them – we LIKE them!!

Chime In: Once you accomplish praising him at least one time – leave a comment in the comment section tellling us what you did – we can all benefit from your inspiration and creativity! 

And if you want to use the comment section as a place to write something you appreciate about your husband, then send him here to see how you publically praised him – go for it!!!

If you are a blogger – I invite you to blog about this week’s challenge.  As time allows, I will be visiting your blogs and pinning your posts on my “Inspiring Christian Wives” Pinterest Board.  Please include this button in your post:

Walk with the King,



Comments

  1. Great tips Courtney!

  2. I can’t wait to get started on praising my husband & do this whole challenge! I recently was searching your archives & came across the post where you recommend the book “A Woman after God’s own Heart”. I started it today & 100 pages in. It’s AMAZING!!! And convicting. Between your challenge & this book, I’m hoping all year can be better for my husband & more God honoring. :)

    • I love “A Woman After God’s Own Heart!” Elizabeth George also has a book called “A Wife After God’s Own Heart” and “A Woman’s High Calling”, both of which I thoroughly enjoyed and got a lot out of!

  3. I am in! I just shared this page with my Bible study group. Thank you for standing up for God’s idea of being a wife, Courtney! I admire your strength and courage!

  4. I have been trying to compliment my husband more since I saw that this challenge was coming. I can tell such a change in my own heart and in how he reacts! We didn’t have trouble in our marriage or anything, but kind words and affirmation really put the spark back into a marriage. Thanks Courtney!!

  5. I’m going to do this! He will probably wonder what’s going on though lol.

  6. What a great idea. We were just talking and playing with the boys when they pulled out 2 different stuffed animals DH bought be on different Valentine’s Days. I was telling the boys how perfect those gifts were and how they meant a lot too me. Even a simple stuffed bear and stuff leopard.

  7. That instagram of you is ADORABLE!!! Bet your husband loved it.

  8. I am so in :-) I’ve been blessed with a wonderful husband but I don’t always tell him how much he’s appreciated…..Courtney, you live by Gods standards of a Godly wife not the worlds…you are not weak, being an encourager to other wives takes strength n wisdom n you have it :-)

  9. Struggling with being kind in our marriage. This is very timely for me. Thank you.

  10. Kelly(@RNCCRN9706) says:

    I’m lame…just posted a thank you message on his Facebook wall for buying us lunch & dinner with his winnings from the club.

  11. So excited for this challenge! My hubby needs and so deserves this!

  12. I’m in! I’m blessed with a husband who loves the Lord. He is always striving to be the best leader he can be for our family – I love opportunities like this to grow and learn to be the best wife I can be for him. I really really appreciate your website, Courtney, and have grown a lot in my walk with the Lord as a believer, wife, and mom since I started following it. Thanks so much for sharing with all of us!

  13. Husbands love to receive praise from their wives! Excellent ideas, Courtney. :)

  14. Thank you for praise ideas, Courtney! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

  15. I am going to join you all…..my marriage is a struggle for me, but I want to be the wife that God wants me to be. I have been married for 30 years and I have not been good at showing appreciation to my husband. Thank you for this challenge….

  16. Great ideas! My hubby is my only twitter follower, but there is a tweet waiting for him when he wakes, along with a FB post, and an Instagram collage! Thanks for the creative ideas!

  17. I teared up while reading through this. Just a year ago, we were at a bad place in our marriage. If you’d asked me then, I would have said that all we did was fight and it was “all his fault!” Then, over the summer, I rededicated my life to Christ. And he showed me some things about myself that weren’t so pretty. Let’s just say, it was NOT my husband’s fault. So, I’m thrilled for the opportunity to participate in this challenge. My husband does so much for this family, including working at a job he despises just to support us. I feel blessed that he stuck by me through that dark place in our lives. He truly is an amazing man.

    Thank you for being a Godly role model for us fellow wives. The world today is overrun with cries of feminism and how women shouldn’t be doormats, but like you said, it takes a MUCH stronger woman to avoid the fight.

    • I can relate to the comment I just read. My husband will go to work scratching his head wondering if i have yet another illness. Im willing to try anything! He will do EVERYTHING withput a complaint. Im very excited to feel the Blessings he feelsx

  18. This is fantastic. I’m such a bad wife. I will jump on ways to discount all the wonderful things he has done for me but shy away from praising his wonderful accomplishments. That stops now (hopefully). My husband has been supporting me the last 2 years as I have gone back to school and never said a word about it. I know he gets frustrated when the one income is barely enough, but never makes me feel bad for not working. He is so fantastic, it makes me cry sometimes.

  19. My husband and I have been married for 28.5 years. It took me almost 27.5 years to realize that my role as a wife is not to always be right, to control, etc. – it took a huge health scare and the grace of God to realize that I am to show him love, understanding, and RESPECT. Wonderful having a 4 week challenge to keep reminding me of the importance of this. I feel like i have now been married for 1 year that is God-driven. Am going to email him at work right now (i get the day off for the MLK holiday – i’m a teacher).

  20. I want to say something to all the women that are struggling with this. TRUST GOD!!
    Three years ago, our marriage of 16 years came crashing down. Things could not have been worse. He moved out and I moved on. There was so much bitterness and hatred between us. Neither of us wanted anything to do with the other. But through our hatred, we actually found time to sit and started to draw out or divorce paperwork. But God took our marriage mess and made a miracle. And I don’t mean to take the word “miracle” lightly…I mean literally, through a series of miracles that led up to our restoration, and now blissful marriage. Three days after that bitter meeting at our kitchen table to decide who gets what…my husband came home and my heart and arms burst open in welcome. There is no explanation to this drastic change of heart in either one of us. One of those miracles that came our way was a book called “Love and Respect”. I had NO idea how important it was to my husband’s heart to honor him with praise, uplifting words, respectful behavior and unconditional love. Was it easy? No, not at first. He had hurt me so deeply I felt he didn’t deserve any of it. But God opened my heart and my eyes to see my husband the way He seen him and I fell in love all over again. Now, I have no problems finding all the wonderful things about my husband. In fact, I find it more difficult to find any fault in him. He’s not a perfect person, nor am I, but he is perfect for me and my perfect gift from God. I praise and thank God for him every day and never take for granted the love we have. I made alot of mistakes the first 16 years. I was always disrespectful, sarcastic, and treated him like the stereotypical “male idiot” that you see so much portrayed in sit-coms…even in front of our children. I was verbally abusive and took every opportunity to crush his spirit and make him as unhappy as I was. I am so ashamed of who I used to be and now I spend every moment of my life trying to make up for the 16 years of hell that I put him through. We are two completely different people now and I regret that we wasted so much of our time together in misery when true joy in our marriage was as simple as the instruction that God gives us in the 5th chapter of Ephesians.
    My husband and I, as a couple, now take that message, and our story to others. We are now marriage mentors and teach others to have the marriage that God designed us to have. The message is so simple I can’t believe we missed it for so long.
    So ladies, take my advice….Put God first, TRUST HIM. Then put your spouse second. Second means that he comes BEFORE you and everyone else on the planet…including your children. Lavish him with love and give him respect. God COMMANDED us to respect our husbands….unconditionally, even if we don’t think they deserve it. We are commanded to do it anyway. There is no better way than to be their greatest cheerleader, their spirit of inspiration and the one person in the world they can turn to that says “I believe in you…you can do it”! Because if you aren’t the one that is doing it…there will be wolves in women’s clothing out there that will do it for you, regardless of the ring on his finger…and the cost will be more than you can possibly bear. Don’t let the devil get a foothold in your marriage. May God richly bless every woman reading this and shower love and restoration in every marriage.

    • Thank you Jeaniey for sharing your words of wisdom! The enemy of our soul wants us to concentrate and magnify our husband’s faults and ways he has crushed us…..but like you said, the truth is my own flaws/sarcasm/disrespect are huge! I too have reaped much from reading “Love & Respect” and learning how to “do the hard things” in God’s power and grace. I just want to thank you for sharing and encouraging us to be our husband’s greatest cheerleader….for there are those wolves out there in women’s indiscreet clothing that will do it if we do not! I absolutely love this site and Courtney’s challenge….she is wise beyond her years! May we all find victory as we lean on Jesus to love our husbands unconditionally as He loves each of us!!

      • Hi dear Kathryn, I’m not the original poster but I wanted to recommend a resource for you. A ministry (that Courtney endorses) that has helped me personally over the past several years is precept.org. Precept Ministries has some wonderful DVD’s & books for marriages. They are biblically sound & so encouraging.

    • Jeaniey,
      Thanks for sharing your story. Its a true inspiration for those of us who are on the divorce path. I would love to talk to you as I am going thru the same struggle as you did a little while ago. I could use all the mentoring right now. Thanks.

    • Tracey N. says:

      Thank you so much, Jeaniey, for sharing your experience. It is really kind of in line with what we are experiencing in our marriage. However, ours is not a sudden change of heart. Slowly but surely, every day, I see improvement in just the way we interact with each other. It’s been a long process, but I definitely see God at work in our hearts! You have encouraged me greatly. Thank you!

    • Jeaniey, Thank you so much for sharing. My marriage is falling apart right now and my heart is just broken. My husband wants a divorce and I am trying so very hard to love him unconditionally and not respond to his mean and hurtful words and actions. It is a struggle for me because sometimes I just want to hurt him as much as he is hurting me. Your story is inspirational and gives me hope. I just keep loving him and building him up, even as he is tearing me and our marriage apart. He’s even said, why are you being so nice to me? :) I guess that is a good sign.

  21. Hayley Anne says:

    I am gladly taking up this challenge. I have just read this Monday night (Australian time) and thought to ‘quickly’ give some praise to my husband for how he is handling a really difficult relationship in his life at the moment (with a relative). What I said was very simple – I was going to wait til I found a creative way to praise him – he turned to me and said “you don’t know how much that means to me and how much I needed to hear that right now” as he was growing weary. I can not wait to continue this challenge and to share with you all the ways I go about it. Thank you!

  22. My Hanan isamazing because he seeks God like he is seeking for gold!.

  23. I love this challenge! My husband and I are in a busy season of our lives, with 3 small children, we have started to lose “us”. I sent him an email a few minutes ago, thanking him for getting up early, working long hours ( which I often complain about), so that we can have a home, clothes to wear, food to eat, and I can stay home with our children. He will likely be surprised and wonder what’s going on..esp since we got into an argument yesterday ;)

  24. I am in!!! I’m so in love with this idea!!!! My husband and I have a terrific marriage but I can definantly work on praising him more!!

  25. I’m looking forward to this challenge although it won’t be much of a challenge for me. I adore my husband and think he hung the moon so I am looking forward to showing him just how much!

  26. I praised my husband for offering to make me breakfast, and for taking today off to be with me!

  27. My husband leaves so early for work everyday so I sent him a text telling him how much I love the fact that he always makes me feel beautiful no matter how ugly I feel etc etc. This is certainly something new for me and he responds…”Love you too, are you ok?” This is gong to be a journey, thats for sure. :)

  28. I posted on his Facebook page about how much I appreciate him. He is such a hard-working man. I expressed to him that he was a wonderful example of Christ’s love. My husband has told me for 21 years now, that his goal in life was to make me happy and to always ask “What can I do for my wife today”. He is truly a wonderful husband and loving father of three grown daughters.

  29. Ok, I’ll do it! He’s got his nose in Power of a praying husband and Sacred Marriage is his back up. I think this is a perfect challenge for me. Thanks, Sista for the action challenge.
    Ok so praise one I am going to Facebook him ;)

  30. Just posted a praise to my husband on Facebook. He got both girls ready for church and to church on time yesterday alone so I could volunteer at the Walk to Emmaus at our church yesterday. He is a rock star as I never have to worry about his ability or willingness to take on the girls alone (he’s actually much better at it than I am). I’m also going to make it my challenge to blog brag about him this week.

  31. I have been married for 35 years and have a wonderful husband. I like this idea because they need to know they are loved and appreciated at home. The more you praise them the better things are.

  32. Courtney Lindsey says:

    Courtney,

    I think this challenge is an awesome way for us women to honor, respect, love on, and even re-connect with our husbands! Day 1 wasn’t hard for me at all… I try everyday to show my appreciation for everything my hubby does for our family. Some days, it doesn’t come easily… I am sure most everyone here can relate to that… but everyday, I tell him how much I love him and try to at least thank him for his hard work and for taking care of our family. I am truly blessed to have him by my side!

  33. JESSICA JIMENEZ says:

    COURTNEY: I LOVE THS CHALLENGE, THANKS FOR IDEAS.

  34. Bobbie Gildroy says:

    I am so excited about this challenge!! This one is easy for me! I am not bragging on myself but on my husband. I thank God everyday for blessing me with a man who is truly worthy of my praise. It is easy for me to praise my husband because he so deserves it!! I am going to send him a text today thanking him for working in the bitter cold today to provide for our family!!!

  35. I am currently doing the Love Dare & journaling about it on my blog. Day #7′s dare was to list things you love about your husband. I listed off the top 10 things I could think of off the top of my head. These are posted on my blog for the world to see. Doesn’t get much more public than that. :) My husband doesn’t read my blog, so wasn’t aware of the public list! Yesterday I had him read it, knowing that I’d be starting the Valentine’s Day challenge with you today. He was really touched that I would think such nice things about him. He even asked me if I REALLY felt that way about him. Of course I do! I just have been lax in telling him lately. Shame on me! So happy to be doing the Love Dare & the Valentine’s Day challenge! It is breathing new life back into my marriage! :)

  36. I started this challenge on Friday because I didn’t want to wait. I’ve been married 15 yrs. and we’re going through a rough time right now. Between my husband’s chronic pain and the fact that I went back to school 2 yrs. ago, we are in need of revitalization. I thanked him for being there to provide for our family, for watching our 5 children every night while I’m in school, regardless of his pain. And something I thought would happen did, he said “Thank you, I love you. What I didn’t realize is how it would change my heart. It’s a cycle of love and respect a marriage cannot last without. I just wanted to thank you for this challenge, it has made a difference in my marriage in only one weekend:-) I know I need to keep up the cycle and look forward to the new challenges ahead. God Bless you all and get out there and LOVE your husband this week!

  37. Thank you so much for inspiring me through this challenge. I’m definitely hopping on the blogging wagon for the next few weeks, as I also have an anniversary right around the corner. :)

  38. I am doing this challenge with the hope that my husband will see something different in me. Our marriage has been so estranged for so many years that I just got tired and gave up. Knowing down on the inside my marriage ending was not what I wanted but I pretending I didn’t care because he was acting that way. We had a long talk the other day and he asked me had I ever sat down and thought long enough to stop pointing the finger at him and thought about what I was or wasn’t doing in our marriage. Honestly, no I hadn’t. I had always pointed the finger at him that he was this and that and it was all his fault. During the process of thinking I realized that I didn’t respect my husband in the way that he deserves and wants. I did things that I knew he didn’t like. So this challenge is for restoration of my marriage. Two years ago I changed my hairstyle to a way I knew he wouldn’t like, so today I am getting a new hairstyle, something I know he will like and I will too. He has started doing a lot of repairs in our house that I had been asking him to do for years and I have been right at his side helping. He just left to go Lowe’s and I just sent him a text message telling him how much of a good job he is doing and that I appreciate him so much. Thanks so much for this challenge!!!!

  39. Loooove this challenge! I need to be waaaay better at verbally praising my hubby.

    I just publicly thanked him on Facebook for staying home with my 2 youngest this morning so I could go to “Mom’s Day” at my oldest daughter’s school. Without the other two there, I could focus on her.

    I’ll send him a sweet little text too. I love the idea of praising him during prayers so I’ll hijack prayer tonight and say a few little sweet somethings.

    He won’t know what hit him!

    :)

  40. jenni anderson says:

    count me in

  41. Your are so encouraging sis! I love your cute photo collage. That is a great idea to send to my hubby! thanks for always bringing, and encouraging us to draw closer to the Lord, hubbies, and family. I love this challenge and I need to be more intentional at praising my husband. I feel I don’t do enough, so this is an awesome challenge.

    Blessings,
    Adrienne

    • I wanted to mention that I do text him when I’m at work and let him know I love him. I think I was a little hard on myself in my first reply. But I want to do something extra special this week. Maybe everyday I could send him cute pictures of me or a special word art everyday and make it extra special. Ok, now my creative juices are flowing. LOL

      Thanks!
      Adrienne R

  42. Courtney, I found this on Pinterest too :) I took a 5×7 frame I got from the dollar store and then printed out “I Love You Because……” and framed it. I placed it on our bathroom sink with a dry erase marker and I leave him messages there. I thought he might find it silly and not really get into it, but he is starting to leave me messages and it has become a fun way to communicate. We both actually look forward to what the next one will write. It has been an awesome way for me to praise him and let him know just how very much I appreciate him and love him. I also have a book of “Love messages” that are like post it’s….I pull one of those out and place them different places for him to see….on his can of pop in the frig….on his steering wheel….in his sock drawer….just where ever. I love to surprise him. He deserves so much praise as he is an awesome husband, father, provider & friend.

    • Stacey Voss says:

      Love this!

    • I used to write messages to my husband on the bathroom mirror when he would work a closing shift for a work. He really liked them. He stopped closing and I stopped writing them. I should start doing it again. Thanks for the reminder!!!!

    • I LOVE LOVE LOVE this idea! I have a few empty picture frames and am going to make one of these and put it on his bedside table, or maybe mount it on the wall next to our bed so my toddler doesn’t erase the daily message. Thanks for sharing this brilliant idea!

  43. Barb Gill says:

    I try to praise my husband as much as possible. He’s a fantastic guy, so it’s not so hard. I must admit, that sometimes it just gets old. I don’t get the praise back that often. Selfishness enters my heart, and I have to make a concerted effort to remove it. He is out in the world more and has more contact and, in my opinion, more opportunities to receive praise. But then I realize that all of the other praises he receives doesn’t hold a candle to what he hears from me.

    I have been praising him a lot lately because of an altercation with our minister. Our minister got really mad at me and treated me unfairly. My husband has a meeting with him tonight to discuss the situation. My husband is going to bat for me, because he truly feels I was treated inappropriately~~not that I was totally in the right, but that the minister’s response was not right. So if anyone sees this before 5:00 PM EST, please pray for protection for my husband. This minister, when angered, doesn’t yell or scream, but he doesn’t listen or give you a chance to tell your perception of the series of events. Thanks in advance for all the prayers.

  44. I love this!! I am always looking for a way to be a better wife! So I was going to send him a little video message to tell him I love him and hope he has a good day (better than just a small text) and our little girl wanted to join in. So we sent him a message from the two of us telling we love him, hope he has a good day and cant wait to see him tonight!

  45. I am so excited to be doing this challenge!! Thanks for reminding me about my struggling friends ;-)

  46. Posted something praising my husband on my Facebook page and actually had people ask what I did wrong or if my husband hacked my page and wrote it himself. It felt good to write how I felt about him. I am the one who has a hard time communicating my feelings so I went further and said things I could have never said to his face. I already feel that this is going to make a difference in our marriage. Thank you Courtney for another great challenge!
    Cathey

  47. My husband and I text almost daily while he’s at work. We text about our kids or just silly things. But, with this challenge, I decided to text him and tell him how much I appreciate how hard he works to provide for us. He texted back, ‘You’re the Best’. I think it really meant a lot to him that I recognize all he does for us.

  48. Hi Courtney,

    This challenge is enough to make me wish I was married. I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman even though I am not married. The only man in my life now is my dad. He is 84 totally blind, 85% deaf, insulin dependent with vascular dementia and now lung cancer. I am his caretaker and have been here five years. At first I came down to help him with my step-mother who had Alzheimers. It has been an interesting journey.

    I am going to use your challenge to encourage my dad as we walk through his last days together. Who knows maybe God is preparing me to be a wife. I am happy being single but have not ruled out marriage. I enjoy your posts even though I am not married. Please continue to encourage married women. There is so much garbage out there on being a woman and wife. It is a refreshing change to find a Godly website and encouragement to be a Godly wife. Please continue to encourage Christian women with your wonderful posts.

    Your sister in Christ,
    Heidi

    • Heidi,

      It is Aug 1,2013, so I’m not sure you’ll ever see this but your loving attitude toward your Dad touched me deeply. What a gift to affirm him as he faces challenges with his health that may never resolve this side of heaven.
      You are an encouragement and true example of Christ’s love.
      Thank you!

  49. Stacey Voss says:

    I posted to fb and I texted him. Tomorrow, I plan to make a picture collage. Thank you for doing this!

  50. Nicole Patteson says:

    My kids and husband were off today and I had to work and we are beyond broke. He took them to hit tennis balls and walked the dog in the park with one child and played a game with the other. I told him in front of them that he was a great Dad.

  51. Jessica Hansen says:

    This is what I did for the challenge- I posted this on my facebook page and tagged my awesome husband: Praising God for my sweet husband today…So grateful to be married to a man that puts God first, which of course means he inevitably shows a love towards me and Abigail that I never imagined I would find over 8 years ago. You are such a wonderful example to Abigail of what a good, godly father and husband should be like. Thank you for being such a hard worker, I am so proud of you and I am so blessed to have you by my side. I love you Erik Hansen!

  52. Thank you for giving us this challenge. Somtimes I need a reminder of all the hard work my husband does. So as we r all watching a movie. I thanked my husband, in front of our kids, for making dinner and cleaning up the kitchen. I also sent him a nice text thanking him for working so hard to protect the streets and for always working OT. Tomorrow I’m planning on more messages and thanks. So again thank you for giving this challenge and GOD Bless u and yours.

  53. I have been sick the past two weeks with a virus. I told my husband I appreciated how patient he has been with me while I’ve been sick. He even went out and bought me a bottle of cough medicine when I had laringitis.

  54. Count me in! I need to be more intentional about this. Thanks for putting this together.

  55. I put this up on my blog. Our country needs women of God to stand up and show our families what it is to live for HIM! We need to be the example to those around us! Thank you for this challenge!

  56. My husband is not social network savvy (no FB or nothing – gasp!) but I texted him this morning to tell him how much I appreciate all his hard work. He has been working 10-12 hr days M-Sat for the last 2 weeks & will continue for another 4 more weeks. He was so appreciative for the praise & gave it right back to me knowing it’s hard on me too.
    Then my darling daughter just registered a 102 fever. I sent a quick text to tell hubby. Within 2 minutes my phone was ringing so we could pray together for her (happy sigh). And so I couldn’t help it: I posted what he did on FB. He’ll never see it, but I know how blessed I am. Did I mention I call him Superman on FB?
    Thank you Courtney for reminding us to be grateful.

  57. Carmencita P. Licud says:

    Thanks Courtney!
    I posted this on my status today and tagged him.
    “Last Saturday going to Cocobeach it was a “bumpy ride” the waves are really high and our ferry is seriously swayed. At some point I was nauseous and joejoe was still standing and playing and I have to look after him. I know that Anthony is not feeling well too then he asked me if I’m okay and i said “No”, he got Joejoe made him sit down on his lap until he falls asleep. When we arrived @ Cocobeach, we had lunch then we went directly to our room. We just wanted to rest, Anthony rested while Joejoe was trying to fall asleep but he didnt so I looked after him. Then when Anthony woke up, he brought Joejoe outside to play so I can rest. They had a walk, went to the playground, went to to the poolside, and had their snacks. I was sleeping the whole time. I feel so much loved and well taken cared of that day by my dear Anthony Mark. I remember that he promised consistency when we got married but never really thought he would be. But you know what, he really is since day 1. I am so blessed to have a husband like him. I love you so much Mahal ko! I will be forever thankful to God for giving me you!”

  58. Nikki Smith says:

    I am so excited about Four weeks of Be My Valentine, Marriage Challenge! My husband and I married in December and yes we are newlyweds but I am believing by praising him and uplifting him it will only make our marriage better. I am forever thankful that God brought Drue into my life and I can’t wait for our first Valentine’s! Be blessed! :)

  59. Thanks to a friend I have found this site and challenge, this is a great Idea. I love my husband more than word but I don’t often tell him that. As of Today I will tell him everyday how much I love him and am proud of him.

  60. I am on board. I put a note in my husband’s lunchbox today. We are going on 25 years of marriage. Looking forward forward to the marriage challenge, need new ideas to spice up our marriage.

  61. I posted on my husband’s facebook wall today a picture of the flowers he bought me this weekend, along with this…This morning, my lilies blooming from the flowers you got me was a gentle reminder of what an amazing husband you are, and that I am so blessed to have a man that is so compassionate and supportive. I love you. I thank God today for the encouragement and the patience you have for me

  62. Hey, Courtney!

    Love this challenge and I’m very happy to join in. I’ll be posting praises about my husband on my blog later today. Thanks for helping us to make this a special Valentine’s Day!

  63. The following is the message I sent to my husband this mornig after reading the challenge and several of the comments. Our marriage is not great. There is very little communication. Sometimes I wonder if he is just waiting for our oldest son to graduate next year to leave. I want my marriage more than anything! Thank you to for this challenge to step up and out of my shell and be the wife God has intended. Thank you to each of the women who have shared their hearts, advice and excitement for this challenge. It is because of many of you (and God of course) that I have the courage to accept this challenge, knowing I am not alone.

    “I love you! You are far more than I deserve and I thank God for your faithfulness to me and our marriage. I know I’m hard to love and I’m sorry. I want us to learn to love in ways the other can appreciate. Have a blessed day, be safe, and thank you for you for providing for our family!”

    He has not yet responded, he is in meetings until 8. I wish I could see his face when he reads it.
    Loving HIM more,
    Cindy

  64. I sent my husband an email reminding him that not only do I love him but I appreciate him and all he does for our family.

  65. We’ve only been married 5 years, but I posted my favorite picture from our wedding on his facebook page. We were going to kiss, & ended up laughing in the kiss pose… I love how happy we look even when we were supposed to be kissing… and I simply said “I love you!!!”

  66. Although it is wonderful to praise our husbands privately, there is nothing Biblical about needing to do it in front of others. In almost all cases, that is simply a way to brag, and make others think well of you because if shows that “you are such a sweet wife.” Don’t fool yourselves – it’s more about you than your husband.

    • Heather F. says:

      Really? My husband really likes it when I mention him in a comment on facebook. I make it a very real sincere compliment maybe about his cooking, or how he helped me with something I was struggling with. In Proverbs 31, how do you figure “he is respected at the city gate” if no one ever says anything “nice” about him? I’m not saying that all we do is heap praise on our husbands. Yes, there are those who say things to brag. But I have searched my heart and know that it is truly an act of praising him.

    • I can understand that, I see that a lot of times on facebook where so and so says, I went out with so and so this weekend and we had a great time. When in reality, the rest of the world, though they may care about that person, really doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of their life.

      I do however believe in public praise, not only for my husband, but it works great with children as well. Not for my own benefit, but for my husbands. I do want others to know what a wonderful husband I have and how very lucky I am. I don’t believe this is bragging. In my situation, my husband works 6 days a week and leaves early and gets home after dark so he often misses the kids school functions and we still struggle to make ends meet. I think it puts it out there, that he does care and he’s just working hard to support his family that he loves so much.

    • Debbie – if you feel like complimenting your husband in front of others would be insincere or you would be doing it to make yourself look good – then I would agree – you should not do it. Only you know the motives of your heart.

      I suppose every good thing we do in life can be twisted into something selfish. We could walk an old woman across the street to help her – or we could walk an old woman across the street to look good. It’s really is a matter of the heart.

      I encourage you to learn Philippians 2:3,4 if you are struggling with this – it will help you to look past yourself and to the interests of your husband. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

      Lots of Love,
      Courtney

  67. Heather F. says:

    I’m in! Need this as I am struggling with his time-management (or lack thereof). Mind you I know mine isn’t so great, but the “flesh side” of me says if I can call mine I can call his. The Spirit is there is my ear telling me, NO, that is God’s job :)

  68. Looking forward to participating in this challenge! I loved the Christmas one as well! I prayed before dinner and slipped a few praises in there yesterday.

    I also have used the hallmark sticky notes that are pre-printed. I bought a pack that has sweet notes on one side and spicy on the other.

    I also love dayspring.com’s e-cards! They are free and they are a great reminder of how much I love him!

    ~ Carla

  69. I don’t have a blog post on this today, since I just read about it, but I am definitely in! :-)

  70. What an awesome challenge! Thanks for the encouragement, Courtney!

  71. My aunt sent me this link and I thought I’d check it out. After reading the challenge, I thought to myself, “Gosh, I’ve been doing this since New Years!” (My resolution was to be a better me – a better wife, daughter, teacher, sister, and friend. I decided that because one of my husband’s Love Langauges is words of affirmation, I would remind him everyday how great he is!) The unintentional bonus of this, is he is now reciprocating! Each day I say something positive, either in private or public, about him. “Honey, I really appreciate you cooking dinner tonight. It means a lot to me. Besides, you make the best burgers!” I compliment him on his physique (he is trying to lose weight) and how great different muscles look. As silly as it sounds, he totally loves it! Just this weekend, I found a little note by my side of the bed that said, “You are my favorite person in the world! Love, Hubby.” =) Totally unprovoked; I LOVED IT! He also set my lunch out today and carried my things to my car. There are tons of other things we say/do for one another that we didn’t before. We have been married 18 months, and have been (unsuccessfully) trying to have a baby for a year next month. Our jobs are both in jeopardy, as our school district has to make $1.2mil in cuts. BUT … we haven’t been happier with one another since the day we met.

    Ladies, do this challenge! Share what you did! I’m happy to share other things we’re saying/doing for one another if you need ideas. :)

  72. Wow…

    Oh how I wish I would’ve tried harder to keep my marriage. It’s been haunting me for a while now. At the time I was done, just done, there was nothing anyone could tell me to change my mind. If he would’ve tried to get me to stay I think I would have and would have worked on it, but he didn’t, so I left. It’s been almost 2 yrs now. I feel like I have let God down. In some ways, I think I should try to work to things out now, but a little too late maybe. He’s getting married again on the 26th and there is soooo much water under the bridge now. When I left him, I started not acting like myself and ended up pregnant and alone. I do believe now, that I had to go through I went through in order to get where I’m going. I had to learn some lessons the hard way. We (my x and I) were always in church, very involved. We lost sight of what mattered, which was putting God first and not ourselves. If none of that would have happened I would not have listened to God calling my to the Minstry, but in a different direction than I thought. Oh, how I wish I could just start some things over. I don’t know… I’m sorry for the rambling, I guess just looking for some encouragement and direction.

    • Oh, Carrie. Sounds like it’s been a pretty uneven 2 years for you – lots of shifts and concerns. You’re on the right track knowing that God needs to be first in your life. Look forward. I pray God shows you His will for your life, what the next steps need to be, and that over, under and everywhere around you, you feel His love drawing you close to Him.

  73. My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years now. About a year ago I started seeing how much I was really blessed. I started thanking God. In the process I noticed more. Such as how much my husband goes out of his way to be home around supper time the latest. So he don’t miss family time. I often whisper the words ” I am so in love ….” I give him details why I love him.

  74. Robert and I have been married 28 years and now that the kids are grown and gone, life is a new adventure. There are so many things I appreciate about him – his loyalty, his persistence, and his optimism are the top three.

    A phrase that struck me from reading Grace Filled Moments blog post (linked above) is: “… open your mouth and say something kind.” It really is that simple.

  75. Sherri Bruner says:

    I’ve been trying to do better at this for the last couple of weeks. We found out my husbands cancer is back and it is a HUGE reminder that we are never promised another day and should always let our spouse know how much they mean to us!! I’ve become his cheerleader again.!!

  76. “The harder thing is to control my tongue and choose to not fight. That takes strength. The weak are those who hold a grudge, remain in their bitterness, refuse to forgive “—AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH! :) So, so right. The more mature person is the first to move “toward” the offender in love. Thank you.

  77. Courtney, I’m so glad to see you back! I had a difficult holiday season too, and was writing and sharing very sporadically- so today was the first time I’ve been back to see you. I’m glad you are feeling better.

  78. This was such a great idea Courtney. I decided to make an audio recording just letting my husband know how much i love him and how i appreciate everything he does for me etc. I sent it as an audio message to his phone and he loved it. The best part he says is he gets to listen to it over and over again as a reminder of how his wife feels about him.

  79. I LOVE this Idea and I shared it on my blog!! Last night I was having a rough time, and I just started crying I went to my husband and just cryed in his arms. I did this in front of my kids, and I told him that I knew he was the one who could make me feel better. I told him I felt safe in his arms and thanked him for spending the last 16 years with me. My girls were smiling at the way my husband and I were so connected

    Blessings,
    Pamela

  80. I’ll do it! I’m in. I don’t know how successful I’ll be at it. but, I’ll try.

  81. Thanks for the ideas! I had made some new curtains over the weekend and figured I’d have to ask a few times and be there for him to hang the curtain rod – but yesterday came home from work to find the rod hung and the curtains on it! So I did put a note out on facebook thanking him for the nice suprise and mentioning he’s a wonderfule husband. I figured maybe his mom and a couple others would ‘like’ the post but so far up to 20 people and many I would not have expected. Hopefully inspires others to do the same and I hope it made him feel good.

  82. I put a picture of my husband as the wallpaper on my cell phone instead of the baby. And I made sure he saw it. It was a nice way to help tell him that I think he is handsome. This is a fun challenge.

  83. You are exactly the type of blog I was looking for. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and message. I need this, daily! I am going to try to do the Valentine’s Day Challenge, text already sent :)
    I also added your badge on my blog!
    Thanks so much!
    <3 Samantha

  84. I told my husband how awesome he is on my facebook status, and thanked him for being brave enough to go & do “the BIG SHOP” at the grocery store, while i was sick. (yeah, he bought extra stuff that wasn’t on the list, like men always do, but you know what- some of those things were awesome: donuts! the weird-sized lightbulb to replace the one over the stove! spinach potstickers! )
    I’m trying to replace my habit of critisizing him, even if it’s sarcastic humor, with more compliments. Your article really made me think about how vulnerable men can be, instead of making him feel defensive, I can be kinder, and help him to open up to me & to life.

  85. Wow, I love this challenge. My dearest husband and I have been married for 46 years and it just keeps getting better. We seldom have a disagreement; because I have learned to choose my battles carefully. Many years I took a marriage course and we were told to find something to compliment our husband on for a week. I can tell you that if you are sincere this will bring blessings back into your marriage like nothing else. If we have a few days when we aren’t communicating well; I just use this and we are back in sync.
    Blessings to you for this one!

  86. Thanks for a great idea and challenge! I am so blessed in the husband department (though we have had our dark seasons to be sure). God is good and He is the reason we are together!!!

  87. This challenge has been really eye opening for me. I thought I already did this until I consciously had to think about it daily. The hardest days, days where I feel no love, I have to dig deep and say something kind and loving and uplifting. I have noticed that each time I trusted God and did the “right thing”, the floodgates of anger dissipated. I am so blessed by this challenge and I can’t wait to see what else God is up to.

    On a special note, my 4 year old daughter has noticed this and has joined in. :)

  88. Definitely enjoying the challenge…finding that praising his character is best, as it reveals much of what he has done in the past, is doing now, and will do in the future. I want him to know that even if he isn’t a super success at every minor thing, he is a success in what truly matters in the eyes of God. My man has the best character. When he meets the Lord face to face, I am sure He will say “Well done.”

  89. Today is our wedding anniversary. We have a lot of walkers in our neighborhood. I made a poster that said “I love my husband. You are awesome Rick. Happy Anniversary!” and put it on our mailbox. While he did take it down a little while ago, he said he loved it. I thought it was a fun way to honor him and let others know how mucb he means to me.

  90. Today I praised my husband to my parents in front of him. My husband is a Police Sergeant and takes the responsibility very seriously. While he was telling my parents of some of the safety tactics he is instilling in the officers on his shift, I told my parents that when he does this, it reassures me that he is doing everything possible, in his power to make sure that he comes home to myself and my 3 daughters at the end of every shift. Being a police family isn’t always easy, but my husbands strong faith and character, along with his concern for officer safety really helps me get through it.

  91. On Tuesday, I put this up on my blog (in french) and I wrote how my husband brought me back to the word of God since we are married and how much he means to me and how much I love him.
    Thank you very much Courtney for this challenge and for sharing your advices with us.
    God bless,
    Mrs Lec.

  92. I look forward to doing this to help put some of our old spark back in our relationship, which has become about buisiness, bills, kids, and the house!
    I am looking forward to this challenge!!
    This is what I posted today on my FB page.
    I just wanted to brag on my husband for a minute… I love him dearly and miss him. He is such a hard & diligent worker helping provide for his family.
    Darin is so creative. Our kitchen trash can creates a vacuum when you pull out the trash bag, so he had the bright idea of drilling a hole in the SIDE of the insert can so that a vacuum was not created when removing the full trash bag! I would not have thought of that! I love him for that – and thank you!
    https://www.facebook.com/thestayathomefamily?ref=stream#!/lynetiagreatskinnywrap.crowe

  93. I posted a status update thanking him for working so hard for me and our 3 month old daughter Lily. I also thanked him for always taking her when he came home and changing diapers without ever gripping. He is a wonderful husband and father.

  94. Its week 2, I can’t wait!! Totally forgot to post what I did for my hubby <3
    Last week I made him a valentine's card and asked him to be my valentine in it I also spelled out his name and put a word that described him by every letter :D He loved it! I also put little thank you messages inside some water balloons I blew up for him to open one each day of the week :D! He sure was excited to pop them and see what they said! :D
    Already getting lots of Ideas in my head for this week! Can't wait!!

  95. It’s the end of week one/start of week two and I really enjoyed this weeks challenge. It helped me remember to TELL him how much I appreciate him–which in my busy day, more often than not I forget to do. I bragged on facebook and made sure to thank him for his help. I’m off to finally blog about it! :)

  96. I sent him an email listing things I am thankful that he has been doing the past week. Sometimes we do this weekly or daily, but we got out of the habit so it was a good reminder. I also posted on Facebook about something I am proud of him for.

  97. Wow, I ran across this on Pinterest, had already decided to do a little 14 days of Valentines project for my husband and was looking for any more ideas to incorporate. I can’t tell you how much your intro meant to me. I am 24 years old and my husband and I have been married for over 5 years, I have also been called a doormat and accused of giving in. I aboslutely and 100% agree with you, my Nurture and Nature taught me to be strong, argumentative, and hard to please. So watching me do a complete 180 in my marriage upset some people. Lol. One of my self mottos has been, winning that argument is not worth the stress and strain on our marriage.

  98. Started doing this for my husband.

  99. I love how you are encouraging women to do the right thing & respect there husbands. I was married for 18 yrs. to an alcoholic. When I remarried ( my 10 yr. anniver. will be Feb 14,2013) I was bringing some of my old marriage into my new marriage well that wasn’t working. I took the 5 love langauges class @ church by myself & The Love & Respect class both of them saved my marraige & I learned how to love my husband as God loves me. Today he is a Christian & a changed man. I know God did a work that only HE could do. I love your ideas & I am doing them. And what great ideas you are sharing. Thank You!

  100. I am going to start doing this! Where do I go to find the book A Woman After God’s Own Heart?

  101. I have been called a doormat too for doing as the bible says. I hear forgiveness, grace And Love from our Lord. It is what we are called to do. I love that you said it is not weak but rather takes strength. I never looked at t this way. I just looked at it as me being obedient to the word. May God bless you in this journey while you bless others…

  102. I just saw this on Pinterest and it is definately ontime for me because too often I do not thank my husband or praise him as I should. I want to be the wife that I am called to be, thank you Courtney!

  103. I have a huge problem of not being able to control my tongue. I can be so cruel with my husband sometimes when I get upset. This is a big challenge for me but I WILL do it and everyday until valentines day and beyond. My husband is the most gentle, loving, passive man I have ever met. He has the sweetest kisses and the most contagious smile and I love him for everything that he is.

  104. I am very tech illiterate. (Computers I understand… all other modern technology I’m lost) How did you make the collage above and how did you send it? We don’t have instagram, twitter, facebook, ipads, iphones and all that good stuff. That is such a cute idea!!

  105. My husband and I had a fight over his insurance today….just like every other day for the past month. I hate nagging but he procrastinates and I am seriously worried about it. Our argument ended with me selfishly trying to absolve myself of the situation, saying, “If this comes back to bite us in the checkbook, its on YOUR shoulders because I TRIED to fix it!” …..he stormed out. He has put this off for months and I am in the right. But the only thing I could think of was, did I uplift and empower him or did I tear him down? I may have been right on the issue, but I was WRONG in my handling of it….sigh….so….I texted him an apology. And yes, it tasted like vinegar, until amazingly enough….he then seriously talked to me about it, recognizing my concern and worry. Come to find out, the blame really isn’t all on him after all. And maybe I learned a little bit about patience, worry and God’s time in the process.

I love hearing what is on your heart.

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