Passion is Not Just For the Movies ~ Week 4 ~ Be My Valentine Marriage Challenge

Valentines day is upon us and it can be a really hard day if you have high expectations.  So let me help you out now and suggest you lower your expectations. It’s expecting roses, flowers and diamonds on this day (or your Birthday or Mother’s Day) that will ruin your day if you don’t get them! I say this from experience friends.

If you happen to be one of the majority who doesn’t get anything for Valentine’s Day from your husband – remember all the things he does year around that blesses your family.

Also, I want to encourage us all to live every day – even on holidays – with our hearts turned outward and upward. Remember Philippians 2:3 &4 says “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Sometimes it feels like the majority of people who really enjoy this day are the kids – exchanging their Valentines with friends, those who are dating or those who are “living together” outside of marriage.

You see it on the screen, in commercials and I’m sure you’ll see it on Facebook this coming Thursday.  It looks like passion was made for everyone else…But we are totally missing the boat my married friends!  The romance and passion we see in movie theatres and on soap operas – was meant for US!

God created passion between a man and a woman – and it was created for husband and wives –married people!!!

Why is it that it looks like those who are co-habitating or cheating get to have all the fun in the movies? That’s a lie – it’s us – we are the ones who are supposed to be enjoying this God-given gift.

 But we aren’t – because life is so full or maybe we aren’t getting along right now or maybe our marriage has grown stale.  Well it’s time to reclaim the passion!  Let’s use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to give our men a little extra TLC.  Let’s live it up in our marriages to the glory of God!

Do you know what your husband wants? There’s still a few days left – so ask him! (and maybe that will remind him to get those flowers lol!)

 Let me make a suggestion as to what a majority of men want even if they aren’t willing to say it:
1. A great tasting, looking, smelling home cooked meal and home cooked dessert. It is our tradition to have a red dinner on Valentines day -a red drink (sparkling red grape juice), red spaghetti, and red dessert (chocolate dipped strawberries). I pull out the china and crystal (why not its just collecting dust!) and lavish the family with the best I have to offer!
2. Pursue him for a night of passion. (remember you are married – HAVE fun!  Read Song of Solomon if you need some inspiration :)Be a *flirt* – wink at him across the table – suggest what is for dessert after the kids are in bed *wink*. Put on something flirty – Loosen’ up and be playful!  Remember how you used to be when you were dating – all that bottled up passion was to be saved for NOW – now you are married.
3. Write a letter expressing all the things you admire about him. Last year I wrote a list of ten things I love about my husband and then read it out loud to him at our “red dinner”, in front of of the children. If you are going out to dinner – put your list in your purse and then pull it out in the middle of dinner and read it to him. Trust me – he will LOVE it!
So I wonder, which of the above three do you think your hubby would like most? I think all of our husbands differ – so what they’d really enjoy will be different.  You know your husband best.
Need some extra creative ideas or inspiration click back through the previous week’s challenges:

Chime In: What’s your Valentine’s Day plan?

If you are a blogger – I invite you to blog about this week’s challenge and then link up below. Please include this button in your post:

Walk with the King,


  1. Patty says

    I have my mom and father in law taking the kids out for dinner. I am then going to have a dinner for two ready when my hubby gets home from work.

  2. says

    Courtney, believe me, I need not flirt with my husband – his passion has not waned a bit these many years! Anyway, I’m planning a dinner of Spanish seafood paella with strawberry cheese cake (homemade!) for dessert. I always EXPECT roses that’s why I tell him where to buy – lol :D!

  3. says

    My husband loves chocolate chip cookies and brownies. I happened to find a pin on pinterest about putting a scoop of each batter together and baking in a muffin pan. I am planning to try it out, and I’m sure my husband is going to L-O-V-E it! I’m also going to make him a cute, cheesy card using my cricut machine And, finally, I am going to write him a love letter and put it in the glass bottle I used last valentine’s day for another “message in the bottle” to have him find when he goes to shave to get ready for work. I am excited about Valentine’s Day. My husband is wonderful, and I hope that each of these things, as well as how I treat him every other day of the year, lets him know it! :)

  4. says

    Thank you so much for this post!! It’s something I have been struggling through, and you just word it so well!! :) Blogging sure helps to sort through thoughts for me! lol 😀 Hey- I would lost to post your button, but can’t find the html?

  5. Sheri P says

    Thank you for these post over the last few weeks. Our Valentines days used to look a lot different, until our last daughter was born on that day. We struggle to make the day special, because it’s her birthday and to still make it special for us. If anyone has ideas would love to hear them.

    • Liz says

      Celebrate V-day every Saturday before or after the 14th annually…or Friday, or whatever. Designate a different day for it within the family! :) I am just thinking, her future husband will have a lot of pressure on him every 14th!

  6. Angela Smith says

    Just needed to say how MUCH God has used you to help me turn my focus back to my husband! This year we have worked very hard to restore regular date nights back into our lives. But your kissing challenge really, really convincted me. I KNOW that is very important to him but for some weird reason, it has been hard for me after the newness of marriage wore off. 13 years of marriage & 4 kids later, the romance has been hard for me to find the energy to create! But God has truly used you to light a new fire under me. THANK YOU!!

  7. Melissa says

    Just wanted to encourage you and say “Well done.”
    Recently, I have spoken to four different Mothers of Preschoolers group on the subject of intimacy. As christian women we often shy away from the topic of sex. The Bible certainly isn’t quiet on the subject and neither is the world. We are bombarded the world and the media with , totally contrary to God’s plan. Christian men and women should be talking about sex and telling our children and the world the truth.

  8. KellyK(@RNCCRN9706) says

    I already gave my husband his Valentines gift. It was practical..well not really because he has plenty of jackets but not a Pittsburgh Penguins fleece jacket which will be perfect for April and May weather while we’re at camp on weekends. We both work and he’s on second shift while I’m on 3rd shift so we won’t see much of each other on Valentines Day. I don’t ask for much but do appreciate a card. Ive saved all the Valentines cards and such he’s given me over the years! Heck, I still have all the cards from our Wedding! And that was almost 14 years ago! lol

  9. Marisa says

    As parents of 4 daughters, we decided many years ago that Daddy was everyone’s Valentine until the day would come when each of our daughters would have their own. We would make a “red” dinner, too! Spaghetti, red vegetables in a salad, red punch and as special chocolate (of course!) dessert with strawberries or raspberries as garnish. My husband would buy each of us a Valentine’s card, I would buy Valentine candy for each place setting at our table adorned with our best linen, china and candles. (One year, my single older sister joined us.) We’d all dress up and toast and pray and have a fun time. Afterward, we’d put on the theme song from “Beauty and the Beast” and Daddy would take turns waltzing with each of his lovely daughters whose feet often didn’t reach the floor yet. Then it was our turn and we’d dance to Celine Dion’s version of “When I Fall In Love.” Such sweet memories. This year, our oldest daughter is a married lady with a baby, our second daughter has her first beau and our youngest currently on a missions trip. I don’t know how we will celebrate this year with potentially just 3 of us here but it will be sweet regardless we will enjoy the gift of marriage, family and His love.

  10. Nicole says

    I will be preparing home cooked lobster with asparagus and roasted baby potatoes. For dessert we’ll have decadent chocolate cupcakes. I’ll also be wearing absolutely stunning red dress that I know my husband is going to LOVE :)
    I’m glad to be off work that day and will be pulling out all the stops.
    Thanks Courtney for creating this challenge.

  11. says

    Thanks for the tips doll. You are God-Ordained to bring these messages to women for ‘such a time as this.’ I appreciate your obedience to the King.

    The How to Guru

  12. Tabitha says

    I have really liked this challenge! I haven’t told my husband I’ve been doing it, and just a couple days ago he was in the office, I’d finished getting supper ready, and came in to tell him so. I came from behind leaned over and gave him a kiss before saying supper’s ready, and he pulled me onto his lap and asked me what was different. Why I’ve been different, and he said I feel like our marriage is better, stronger – I just smiled and told him how much I love him. :) I suppose I’ll need to tell him about the challenge eventually :) I don’t want him to think I was “just doing it because of the challenge” but I’ll tell him that, yes it’s given me ideas, and the jump start, but I’ve done it because I love him, I wanted to do it, it’s been fun…and I hope we can continue :)

  13. Vicky says

    My Husband buys flowers for me and each of our children ( our daughter and son). They need not be roses, or anything expensive. This year the kids each got a bouquet of tulips in their favourite colour and I got a single rose. I get more pleasure out of seeing the kids eyes get wide over their flowers (especially my 4 yr old son who exclaims every year “These are mine!! Just mine!?!) than I do out of mine. For me it is the most romantic gesture ever! Teaching his children to expect others to value them and show them they are loved.

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