A Steady Diet of Beauty Magazines Will Starve Your Soul {I Peter 3}

A steady diet of beauty magazines that tell us how to make our outer selves beautiful is not what will make us admirable to God. #Biblestudy #1Peter #WomensBibleStudy #GoodMorningGirls

Today we are in 1 Peter 3 and these verses are not easy to tackle.

1 Peter 3:1 and 2 says:

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

First we see that Peter is speaking to wives – that’s us!

Do any among us have a non-Christian husband or a husband, who is not obeying God’s word?   How do these verses say we will win them?

The answer…without a word.

Notice this does not say, by how many Bible studies we attend, how many meals we cook for the sick, how many Christian books we read, by the Christian music we listen to or by pointing out our husband’s flaws.

A husband is won…

without a word.

Simply by our submission…respect and purity.

1 Peter 1 continues in verses 3 and 4:

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

In this passage the word adorning is also translated as beauty.

Does this passage forbid the braiding of hair or gold jewelry?  No! Thank goodness because I love braiding my hair and my daughter’s hair 😉 and if you’ve seen my videos, you know this girlfriend likes some big earrings, right? Lol!

This passage says our focus should not be the same as the world’s. The world sells beauty as the pinnacle of achievements for women.  Every magazine in the grocery store is graced with a cover of a gorgeous woman and then 10 tips on how to apply eye shadow, 4 tips on how to diet, 5 tips on the newest fashion trends and so on.

A steady diet of beauty magazines will starve your soul.

It is a woman’s “fear of God” that will lead her to pursue what is precious in God’s sight – – – a gentle and quiet spirit.

I remember when I first discovered these verses in high school.  I was mortified!  Did this mean I had to stop laughing so loud and become introverted?  I was anything but a quiet girl.  How could I become what was precious in God’s sight?

After talking this over with my mother, I learned that this was not about my personality! Thank goodness!

This passage is referring to an inner peace, calm and strength that comes from a deep trust and faith in God.  A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit will be meek. She will deal lovingly and gently with others. She will not be consumed with worry but have a quietness and peace in her soul that draws others to Christ in her.

1 Peter 3:5-7 says this:

5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”  7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Oh boy, the difficulty of this passage continues.  Stick with me here.

We need a little background about Sarah to understand what she did that was so exquisite.

In Genesis 12:1-20 we see that Sarah was beautiful externally and Abraham was fearful that the Egyptians would kill him to steal his wife. So he asked her to…stretch the truth… and say she was his sister. Truthfully, she was his half-sister.  See what happened below:

10Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. 11As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. 12When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. 13Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.”

14When Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians saw that Sarai was a very beautiful woman. 15And when Pharaoh’s officials saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into his palace. 16He treated Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels.

17But the Lord inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram’s wife Sarai. 18So Pharaoh summoned Abram. “What have you done to me?” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me she was your wife? 19Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!” 20Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his wife and everything he had.”

In 1 Peter 3 we see Sarah being praised not because she was externally beautiful but because she trusted God and obeyed her husband in a dangerous situation rather than giving way to fear.

Now – hold on to your hat because this gets even more interesting… this scenario repeats itself again in Genesis 20 when King Abimelech sees Sarah’s beauty and once again, Abraham tells her to call herself his sister. She is taken as King Abimelech’s wife and then later she is released after the King has a dream from God that he should not have her as his wife!

Seriously!  Abraham – what are you doing? Why was he not trusting God? He was giving into fear! But Sarah – was as cool as a cucumber. She submitted to her husband, trusted in God and God protected her.

Sarah was clearly beautiful on the outside – possibly she was as beautiful as Queen Esther…since both a Pharaoh and King pursued Sarah’s hand in marriage the moment they laid eyes on her.

But it’s not Sarah’s external beauty we read about in 1 Peter 3 – it’s her inner beauty.  A beauty God admires and a beauty God has called us to.

You won’t read about having a gentle and quiet spirit in the beauty magazines being sold at your local grocery store.  But as we read through the Bible cover to cover, God will transform all of us from the inside out as we lay down our ugly sin filled hearts at the foot of the cross and exchange them for what is precious in God’s sight.

Today we have a choice – what will we pursue? A steady diet of the world’s beauty secrets or a steady feast of the living bread.

Let’s look at beauty from God’s perspective.

Let’s examine ourselves according to this passage and see where we are lacking.

Let’s ask God today to help us make changes in areas where we are lacking.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

**Looking for the GMG resources for this month? –> click here. 

**Chime In:

Why do you think 1 Peter 3 is such a hard teaching for women of our day?

Do you struggle with having a gentle and quiet spirit? What gets in the way?

How does your husband respond when you display this kind of living?

What else is God teaching you this week through your study in 1 Peter?

BLOGGERS: Are you blogging through the Bible with us or have you written a devotional based on your own quiet times this week?

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21 Comments

  1. The power of a life that has been transformed by the Lord is the most powerful gospel a woman can preach to her husband without a word. It’s so contrary to how we want to change and convict our husbands but God’s ways are much higher than our ways. Great post, Courtney. I appreciate how you teach the Word without watering it down at all. Blessings to you!

  2. Courtney, the most important point that you brought up was to feed ourselves in the word of God to be what God wants us to be. Often times we search among the things in the world to satisfy our inner urge to call upon our Savior. Thank you for teaching the word in its reality. May God use you to write more.

    God bless

  3. Hey everyone!, It has been holiday mode around the Smith house this week as my husband is off from work and we are enjoying a break from normal routine. Here is my link to my post this week – http://wonderfullyrandomblog.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/blogging-through-bible1peter.html
    On your point of winning our husbands over with not a word I have seen this for myself. My step grandma had been married for 30 years, she is a christian and during her early years of marriage had tried to talk to her husband about God, Jesus and church. He didn’t want to know anything about it. So she purposed to live her life exactly as Peter says, she took her children to church, she prayed daily, she was part of womens groups and bible studies. 30 YEARS later he became a Christian, he said it wasn’t because of what she said it was because of how she lived!
    I just want to encourage others who may be in the same situation, you don’t know the seeds you are planting right now, it may not come instantly but God works all things for good. x x

    1. Thank you for this encouragement Kiri. My husband is not a believer. He went to church as a child but going to church was more of a chore to check off a list rather than about developing a relationship with God. Through the years, my husband has developed a very sterile way of looking at the world. If something can not be proved through fact or seeing it with his own eyes, then he places no merit or truth in it. I used to ask him to attend church with me every Sunday, but he was not interested and so I have stopped asking. However, I think there is a little glimmer of hope starting to shine through. A few months ago, he and I were having a discussion about religion. I am currently working on a bachelor’s in religious studies, so I share information and knowledge with him as I discover it. During our conversation, I used his own words that he had spoken to me a year ago and referenced the fact that he does not believe in God. He got offended and said it’s not that he doesn’t believe at all. He said, “I just don’t know what I believe. I need more proof.” I could have jumped for joy and given him thousands of kisses, instead I stayed cool as cucumber and just said, “oh, ok.” I didn’t want to inundate him with websites to “prove” God was real. I just took it as a silent personal victory in the Lord’s favor, and I celebrated in my head and with God at my next devotional time. While I know my husband is still a long way from attending a service with me (let alone accepting Christ), your post gives me hope that maybe 30 years from now (we are in year one of marriage) he will be attending church with me. Thank you lady for your wonderful post.

  4. Thank you for teaching the Bible as God’s truth. Thank you for this reminder, that it is not by the world’s unattainable standard that we are measured. I love how you described what a gentle and quiet spirit is, and what it is not. We don’t all have to adopt the same outward personality to have the peace, calm and strength we can have when we trust God.

  5. I really love the way yu are diving into the Word and looking at topics more “difficult” (for some to hear!) I have really enjoyed the change I feel like I’ve seen in your posts recently.
    You see, I have known Jesus as my Saviour for over 10 years, and have ahad a few backslidden yearsm but through a terrible trial (I won’t go into detail, but it is marriage related) the Lord has drew me near again and has really impressed on my heart in an amazing way. One of the things the Lord has shown me was the condition of your heart while “serving” your husband. Service through prayer, service through honor and reverence – even when it may be undeserved. Service in general. I know this valley seems so deep and I honestly don’t know that I can climb back out, but I trust in a God who says my prayers will move mountains. And I’m hoping God will drop that mountain in my valley allowing a stairway to the joy and blessings just above this 🙂 Thank-you for the encouragment you provide Courtney! As a young mother and wife, I find it’s rare to find a woman that stands up as boldly as you do trying to spread the truth of God’s word.

  6. I think having a quiet and gentle spirit with peace, calmness, and strength can be very difficult for women, especially with hard seasons in life. What is even harder is when Christian women feel guilt or shame for having anxiety, depression, or fear because they think if they are God-fearing women they shouldn’t feel this way – they should feel peace, calm, and gentleness. But Christian women can in fact struggle a great deal with anxiety and depression even though they are close to Christ. This does not mean there is anything wrong with that woman’s faith. God’s grace covers her when she is weak and can’t find the strength to pray or read her Bible. The cure for depression and anxiety is to cling to Jesus, knowing there is no shame or guilt in her distraught feelings, and wait for the storm inside her to pass until Jesus restores and refreshes her soul and gives her that quiet, gentle, peace she so desires. Being around other women and talking honestly about what she is going through, getting out of a rut, and getting involved in new things helps tremendously too.
    Cooking Up Faith
    http://www.cookingupfaith.org

    1. Love your comment, Cooking Up Faith. Something I need to remind myself of often. I do feel that when I’m worrying I’m not succeeding in living my faith as God calls me to. Thank you for reminding me that it’s just another way of God allowing me to share in His grace. Virtual Hug from me to you!

  7. The teachings of 1 Peter, Chapter 3 – Hard for women of our day because we have been taught that strength is something displayed by NOT relying or trusting others but ONLY relying on ourselves and ONLY trusting ourselves. So completely the opposite of what God wants for us!

    I’m guilty of it. Graduating from high school and going right out into the “working world” on my own as a single woman I grew so used to control my “world” and making all the decisions on my own that it is extremely hard for me to submit to my husband now. To allow him to lead our family and be HIS helper. Not the other way around. I battle this every.single.day.

    YES! I struggle with having a “gentle and calm disposition” every.single.day. With my husband; with my children; with complete strangers! Oh, God, I need your grace. My soul is still heavily stained. At least now I can see that. I didn’t use to. Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes so I can begin to “let myself be built into a spiritual house” (1 Peter 2:5). Not being able to control everything – that’s what is at the core for me. It sends me over the edge. I pray that I can one day accept that I am not in control and truly, whole-heartedly trust that GOD is.in.control. and that that is good.

    When I am trying to control everything and not turning over the reigns to him to lead, my husband shuts down. He gives up. He gets frustrated and angry and quiet. BUT, when I do act subordinate toward him he listens to and considers my opinion instead of just throwing in the towel and leaving me to tackle it all. I can also see that he is more drawn to me spiritually, emotionally and physically when I am gentle and calm and sincerely work with him as a teammate.

    God’s been showing me that I can live according to his command and not fear the reaction of others any longer. That others will probably not understand but that that is alright. They don’t need to understand. Only God needs to know my heart. He has my best interest in mind. He’s also teaching me that I can be brave just by choosing to do as he commands. That bravery isn’t a harsh approach toward someone but a quiet, gentle example. Not even a word is necessary.

    He’s teaching me that I have to choose to let the Holy Spirit into my heart if I want to change. I need to lay my old ways down and pledge to God and myself that that is no longer the path I want to follow. That I see my mistakes and want God to change my heart. That HE CAN CHANGE my heart. BUT, I need to put in the work. I need to “seek peace and follow after it” (1 Peter 3:11) if I am to expect results.

    He’s teaching me that my husband is my teammate. Not someone I am in competition with in life but someone I am meant to work with in serving God.

    So much more to write but where would I stop? I love what God is teaching me through this study. Thank you for allowing him to bring it to us through you, Courtney. Grace and blessings to all GMGs! Hoping you all have a pleasant weekend with your loved ones.

  8. Courtney, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on these verses. So very true! These verses have been on my heart lately, and I think they are applicable to all of us, even if our husbands are saved. I know many times I have to fight the urge to argue my point, but that is not the thing that is going to get my husband and I to unity on an issue. Only God can change hearts, and it is always my prayer that He would change the one that needs changing 🙂

  9. “without a word” really stuck out to me, both in the reading and in the blog. I have lately been distressed by my husband’s lack of a desire to pursue God in any way besides going to church. Not that he lives an ungodly lifestyle per se, but he has no desire to get rid of the sin in his life or to improve himself. The last couple days I have been struggling with what to do about it, what I as his wife could biblically do. There it is. Leave him in the hands of God and be the best that I can be. Practically for me right now that simply means to stop worrying about him.

  10. When my husband and I first got married, the first two years were basically me trying to remove bad things in his life. Too much Tv, ungodly music, not studying Gods word enough, cussing. He is a Godly man but has areas of weakness like we all do. I got so exhausted trying to be his Holy Spirit that I finally gave up. In all aspects of our marriage, things are better now. I still have so much to learn but I’m glad I learned THAT in the first two years of marriage!

    Verse 3 is what truly struck a chord with me today. Nice clothes and pretty hair do way more for me than they should. Vanity is such a difficult thing to overcome. I have SO much work to be done in my spirit.

  11. Verses 1, 2 are so dear to me. Our former church was in such a mess and our experience there so painful that we were actually happy to move to a new town and leave that behind. My husband had no desire to look for a new church. I feel lost without a church home. We belong to the body of believers, but I need a place to gather and worship. Our discussion about this turned into an argument and I went to our room and wept and prayed. A calm came over me and I felt Jesus in my heart say, “you only need to be the wife I ask you to be. I will take care of the rest”. I can’t force this decision on him, but I sure can let him see the Spirit at work in me!! It’s been wonderful! We have tried a couple of churches. But haven’t actually made one our home yet. I know that God is at work in my husbands heart and I will wait for as long as it takes.

  12. Hi Courtney, I’m going to copy/paste what I shared with my precious GMG group on FB today…..
    Well, I just wanted to pop in and share a story with all of you regarding 1 Peter 3. This chapter is so near and dear to my heart. I was raised in a particular denomination, and then fell away from it in confusion in my young 20s. I spent more than half a decade, then, believing in God but not at all sure exactly who He was or how I was to be in relationship with him. God used a co-worker to point me to the cross and the complete work of my Savior when I was 26. In those very early days of my salvation, my dh was basically agnostic. He did not begrudge me my faith or attending church, but he simply did not know the Lord. One day, he told me he felt as if I’d “gone off on a tangent” , which stirred much anger in me. Being a new believer, I did NOT respond with gentleness and respect (1 Pet 3: 15), and a pretty awful argument ensued, ending in total tears and frustration on my part. I prayed and asked God to PLEASE show me what to do, because I did not know how to make my dh understand. I had been given a Women’s Study Bible as a gift (from another co-worker who heard that I had asked Jesus into my heart). That evening, I was doing the devotional in that bible, and was instructed to read 1 Peter 3. Ladies, God DIRECTLY answered me. I had NEVER heard directly from God, and was overwhelmed with emotion as I realized He had lead me to that particular chapter to SHOW ME how to respond to my dh. I was so relieved to know that I did not need to win him over with words. I only needed to live out my faith in front of him “that he might be won over WITHOUT words.” Tears of joy fell that night. I will never forget the moment that God showed me He hears my cries. And I’m joy filled to say that my husband, today, loves the Lord, Jesus, with all his heart. That is my GMG “check in” for the day. 😉
    **************
    God is good. ‘Nuff said. <3
    Blessings,
    Toni

  13. Courtney! WOW…isn’t God good?!? Ok, so I’m doing a study with my teen girls @ church on “Beauty within” and was planning to use the passages in 1 Peter. Anyway, I wanted to do a little research and see what some of my favorite bloggers had said. So I came over here to look in your archives and !Voila! This was the article that was up. HOW AWESOME! I know God led me here. I will be using a few of your statements. Thanks for your hard work!

  14. I love this post! So many of your posts are wonderful, I’d love to print them and organize them in a notebook. Have you ever thought about adding a “print-friendly” button that would allow people to print just the text of the post? Not sure if that would be difficult or time-consuming as I have no idea what goes into web design/blog production. Just think that would be a really neat feature if it was feasible. 🙂

    Ashley

    1. Hi Ashley!

      Thank you so much for your encouragement! If you go to the bottom of this post (right above the comment section) you will see a row of social media buttons – like twitter and Facebook. Right next to the Pinterest button is a green Print Friendly button. Once you click on that – click the box to not print the pictures and it will print easily for you!

      Hope that helps 🙂
      Courtney

      1. Oh my goodness “if it was a snake it would have bitten me” as my grandmother always said. LOL. Thanks Courtney! 🙂 Now I can start my Women Living Well notebook (with dividers/categories).

  15. Courtney, thank you for connecting these verses with your title “A steady diet of beauty magazines will starve your soul.” I have found that in my own life this is all too true. I love a good Christian romance story, they’re clean, they’re meaningful, and they are always entertaining. But what I find myself feeling at the end of the book when I look at my husband is “Why isn’t he the way Mr Jesus Hunk was in Christian Happily Ever After book. There’s an emptiness created where I should be full of love. I don’t read fashion magazines anymore, but I love remodel type magazines. It’s crazy though that then I can’t see why my house is a blessing, only that it’s over a hundred years and not modern and there’s not an inch of subway tile anywhere to be seen. Once I stop filling up and pondering over these books and magazines though…and actually write down my daily blessings to thank God for how he’s truly impacting my life…my heart again becomes full, I let go of worldly standards, and I can then become a woman who’s beauty is within. A woman who can influence her husband without a word. A woman who’s precious to God.

  16. Great post here Courtney. I love reading the truth of a Gods word. It is too watered down in many places these days. I know here though that you tell it like it is. Thank you

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