Are You Gentle?

On April 24th I shared with you all that I had begun a ” 30 Day Gentleness Challenge“. For the last 18 days, 4 moms and I have been keeping each other accountable as we work on displaying the fruit of the Spirit – gentleness – our goal was to work on not raising our voices or speaking harsh words to our children. So every morning we report to each other how we did the previous day.

We want to abide by Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” and Proverbs 31:26 “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” It seems that with our children – the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
So you wanna know how I’m doing??? Hmmmm…should I tell the truth??? The good news is I have not raised my voice to the children in 18 days – that is a victory – does that sound terrible to admit that I do raise my voice at them from time to time?
But in the area of keeping my words wise and gentle – rather than harsh and critical – I have failed… well a number of times. One day I thought I had done quite well being patient with my son, who was refusing to clean his room. He gave me a bit of attitude and lip about it. Rather than giving him a consequence and then walking away – I instead chose a choice lecture. After the long winded lecture – I realized – wow – that wasn’t gentle speech. I was completely convicted and realized that I give “harsh lectures” from time to time that need to be ejected from my life! I quickly apologized to him and sought out his forgiveness.
The best part of this challenge is that God’s word and Spirit are shining light on dark areas of my life. There are things that in “secret” no one sees – but God is bringing light to those dark areas and because I have humbled myself to the conviction of the Spirit, I am being freed from Satan’s grip.
It has been refreshing to realize that the other 4 moms struggle too – I am not alone. There has been no room for pride – we have all been open and honest with our failings and as a result I feel like real change and transformation has come to our homes! Thank you Jesus for freeing us!
Join me in my freedom – and pursue gentleness in your life. Pursue it not just in parenting but in all your relationships – as you deal with your husband, extended family members, co-workers and fellow Christian friends.
Romans 8:37 says “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” There are 12 days left in this challenge…We cannot do this in our flesh – we must walk in the Spirit if we want to be conquerors. Are you gentle?

Walk with the King!


  1. Dear Courtney! I sent you a mail. I NEED YOUR HELP! Please get back to me as soon as you can. Thanks a lot, love: Evi

  2. Thank you for your encouragement today. This morning I saw one of those flashes in my son’s eyes that told me I was not “looking” gentle. I was reminded that I need to yield my tongue and face 🙂 to the Lord. I’m glad to be reminded I’m not the only mom feeling that today, and I’ll be more gentle this afternoon than I was this morning with God’s help.

  3. I have really been struggling with this miserably as we are dealing with the terrible twos in full force right now!! I’m noticing that its my own frustrations with myself and trying too hard to get “my” stuff done that is causing so much of my lack of gentleness. I’m trying really hard to set aside my frustrations and calmy and quietly explain to her what I want of her but boy is it hard!I’m in desperate need of the Holy Spirit on this one!Thanks for your honesty and humility and your encouragement!

  4. Julie – I’m with you – I don’t always have the most “gentle” looks either – so there’s one more thing to add to the list to work on – my facial expressions!!!

    Kimi – hang in there and know you are not alone. Definately the busier I am the more I struggle. Under pressure it seems easier to thoughtlessly explode. But when I slow down and think things through I almost always make the right choice. This is one reason I look forward to homeschooling – because (hopefully) we can slow down the pace of life a bit.

  5. I realize you wrote this over a year ago, but I just came across it and so needed it tonight. I am sitting here at my computer so disgusted with myself for how impatient I have been with my girls lately, especially today. I don't want to be that way, any advice you have is appreciated.

  6. Anonymous – admitting is half the battle – as you bring light into these dark places in your life – Satan's grip is loosened and God can free you!! Pursue peace – smile in your home – pray out loud when your feeling irritable – count to ten – go outside and cool off – take every drastic measure you can to bring yourself under control.

    Read a Proverb a day and you will find a lot of wisdom for parenting! Dig in – pray daily and watch your home be transformed!

    You are not alone on this journey – I still struggle some days when I am tired and the kids are not cooperating. But the tug of the Holy Spirit in this area has been strong and given me more victory than defeat.

    Hang in there!

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