Putting Order On Your Tongue

Word Filled Wednesday: Proverbs 31:26 says “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

Over the past 18 weeks as we have studied the Proverbs 31 woman, we have seen her put order into every aspect of her life. We’ve watched her be a jewel to her husband, children, servants and even the poor. We’ve watched her rise early, stay up late, plant a vineyard, sew her own clothes, her family’s clothing, the tapestries and beddings! And the cherry on top of all of this woman’s work is excellence!

As she puts order into her home, we find that she also puts order on her tongue. James 3:2 says “If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man.” This is no small task to put order on her tongue. She is not perfect but she is diligent to make every effort to filter her words!

We find two rules of order that she followed:

1. She spoke only wise words.
2. She spoke only kind words.
Where does her wisdom flow from? From her walk with God, from her life experiences, from wise mentors, wise friends and perhaps good solid literature.
Are you walking with God daily? Are you pondering your life experiences long enough to gain wisdom from them? Do you have a wise mentor, mother or grandmother? Do you have wise friends? Are the things you are reading filled with wisdom?

OR are you too busy to read your Bible? Too busy to reflect on your daily happenings to pull wisdom from them? Have you chosen poor friendships? Do you choose to fill your mind with the world’s wisdom through television, magazines and websites filled with celebrity gossip?
If you lack wisdom start by digging into God word TODAY in the book of Proverbs. Start in chapter one and get reading. Then pray. James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”
Now think of those in your family who are affected most by the words you say. Have you considered that they too are weary pilgrims in a dry desert who need a fountain of life pouring forth wisdom and kindness to survive. You can know a woman’s character by her choice of words.
Would your family say you are kind? It doesn’t matter how pretty your hair, make-up or clothes are, it’s the words coming out of your mouth that determine your true beauty. What can we do to work on kindness?
1. Practice self-control with your emotions. Try to not be overly emotional and speak rapidly when you are angry. All of those rapid words are unkind.
2. Watch sarcasm – it usually reveals a bitter heart.
3. Watch critical remarks – they are red flags revealing a proud heart or envious heart or selfish heart or an angry heart.
Here’s your to-do list for the day!

1. Let your husband hear you teaching your children God’s wisdom.
2. Be gracious with your words towards others.
3. Be gentle with others.

4. Be quick to notice others strengths and slow to point out others flaws.
5. Purify your heart through the reading of God’s word and put aside all anger, bitterness, malice, slander, envy, and self-pity.

Put order on your tongue as you Walk with the King!

I am participating in Seven Clown Circus Wordful Wednesday and 5 Minutes for Mom Wordless Wednesday.


  1. Excellent points all and what a great photo and inspirational Bible verses to encourage us all. Thank you for a thought-provoking Word-Filled Wednesday.

  2. Great post! I know I can be quite sarcastic especially with family members. Going to try to work on this.

    Have a great day!

  3. Thank you, Courtney. This is definitely an area that I easily fall into sin – I desparately need the Lord's help! I am also going to give a copy of this to my daughter. Thanks, it was great!

  4. I'm new to your blog. What a wonderful post. This is an area that I am constanly failing in. I really need to foucs. Thanks for the reminder. Stacy

  5. Thank you, Courtney!!
    This is such a wonderful blog, I think I need to practice all three of the things you quoted. It is great to be reminded to "think" before you say. I know I need it!! Your blogs are always so encoraging to me even If I don't understand them. Thanks,


  6. Toes sufficiently stepped on. Thank you, it was needed, necessary, and helpful! 🙂 Be blessed.

  7. This is sooo good. It is something I remind myself and kids about….life long journey…

  8. What an encouraging (and convicting) post. Thanks! So glad I learned about your site the other day!

  9. Wise words dear one. Thank you for sharing on this WFW. I love how we are sharpened with each other. I'm thankful that God has used writing to teach me so much about guarding our words and applying His grace and love and being salt. Writing gives us such an opportunity to learn because we see our words before us on a page and we can go back and edit. Then when we speak we can be more aware and apply the sensitivity of the Holy Spirit before we open our mouths. I must admit there are times when I might be a bit sarcastic when referring to legalism or condemning religion because I've seen it hurt so many dear ones, but in the end love is the greatest source of battling these evils. Blessings!

  10. These are wonderful words for WFW. Love the picture. This is an area of life we women need to be reminded of over and again. Thanks so much.

  11. I love that verse. I needed to be reminded of that today, especially the talking with kindness part.

  12. This was great to read today to get filled up with what expects of us. I learn something every single day to help me become the image that God has set for me. Thanks for this reminder!

    Hope your week has been blessed!

  13. Good post. Right now counts forever. How we need to stay in the Word if we are to please God with our lives – including our words. I don't think we ever regret saying kind words.

  14. Such great words of wisdom. Looks like I've got lots of work to do. I've fell all three areas just in one conversation today.

  15. What a beautiful post and such a reminder of the woman I strive to be. How on earth have I been blogging for almost six months and am just now stumbling upon your blog? It's great!

  16. This is just a refreshing and inspiring message for me today. I want to believe that the woman I was meant to be is possible. I have a long way to go but I keep on, keeping on. I've got to get better with digging in and meditating on His word for sure. Thank you so much for this post.

  17. Courtney, I shared this awesome blog with my teen daughter. She had a question and I wanted to ask you – she attends public school and is bombarded regularly with bad language which she hates hearing. She says she feels like it has entered into her own thinking and those words now come to her mind and she wants advice on what to do and how not to think or say those words. We've discussed it, but I wanted your input (I remember you went to public school too). Thanks so much! orosco99@juno.com

  18. I saw the comment you posted on Kelly's Korner about why you blog.. and came over for a visit. I am SO glad that I did!

    This is the first post that I read – I recently wrote a post myself called "Taming the Tongue" and this is something I have always had a hard time doing!

    I have watched all of your videos and cannot wait to have more time to read through your blog. So encouraging!

    Thank you so much for this wonderful resource.

  19. Orosco – I think you ask such a great question and what a fantastic mom you are to talk to your teen daughter about this!

    Phil. 4:8 says to think on things that are "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy – think about such things."

    I would encourage her to memorize this verse and use it as a filter over her thoughts – she needs to frisk her thoughts at the door of her mind – and ask – is this true? Is this noble? Is this right?

    If it does not past the test – chuck it. She must be on guard and filter her thoughts and pray that God helps her to be wise.

    I went to a public school and indeed – he will help her if she saturates her mind with the word of God and frisks her thoughts!

    Just said a prayer for her!
    Much Love,

  20. Keeping my tongue in line is one of my harder tasks. It helps when I realize that I have to first get my mind in order.

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