You Go First – 10 Fun Ways to Praise Your Husband

I remember being in a fight with my husband and knowing he was wrong and I was absolutely right. There was NO way I was going to apologize for anything I had said or done and I was not about to be the first one to try to make amends. This huge fight was his fault and he was going to have to come to me and make it right.

I dug my heels in sure that any minute he would come up the stairs and beg me for forgiveness…and I waited…waited in anguish – crying – praying…praying…praying…uh oh I sense God telling me to give him grace. Uh oh – thoughts of forgiveness and mercy ran through my mind.

“No way God! Not this time! No quick easy forgiveness from me – no mercy!”

…a flood began surging in my soul…I knew that I could not suppress the truths of God’s word…and so I got up slowly and put one foot in front of the other…I went down one step and then the next slowly…and I went first…and apologized. And as I went first – the flood gates of communication opened up free and clear – a civil conversation appeared out of no where and the road to reconciliation began.

Going first. It’s not easy to go first…it takes great strength and humility to go first. I’ve been called a doormat on many occasions on-line for my beliefs about marriage…a doormat sounds weak…I am not weak.

It’s easy to scream, yell, and fight. No one has to teach me how to do that! lol! The harder thing is to bite my tongue and choose to not fight. That takes strength. The weak are those who hold a grudge, remain in their bitterness, refuse to forgive – the strong are secure in their faith knowing that they are loved with the unfailing love of Jesus. The strong can give what Jesus gave – forgiveness, mercy and grace.

And so no matter how poorly week 1 went with the 25 Day Praise Plan – I invite you to be strong and join me for week 2 of the Be My Valentine Marriage Challenge!

This week’s challenge is: be a little more creative with your praise. Surprise your husband with these 10 fun ways to praise your husband:

1. A love message on the mirror

2. A love message packed in his lunch

3. Use sidewalk chalk and write a love message on the driveway

4. Write a list of ten things you admire about him and then read them out loud to him.

5. Make a toast to him at dinner with friends. Or raise your glass at dinner and list the things you admire about your husband for your children to hear!

6. Buy or make your husband a trophy and engrave it with the words “The Best Husband in the World.” (I found a cheap trophy at a party supplies store – the kids loved presenting it to daddy)

7. Write a poem – even if you can’t write – it can be goofy. Include in it references to your favorite movies, restaurants, places to go and memories. He will enjoy the trip down memory lane and the laugh!

8- Blow up balloons and put a loving message in each one. Fill your bedroom with balloons as a surprise.

9- Take a roll of receipt tape and write a long message with the things you admire and respect about your husband – then roll it up and put it in a bottle for your husband to open and read. (I made many of these for my husband in college when we were dating long distance. I mailed them in packages.)

10. Get creative with your selflessness!

“When you touch your husband’s deepest need something good almost always happens!”~ Dr. Emerson Eggerich

So I challenge you today to not just show your husband you love him but show him that you LIKE him!
I want to invite bloggers to link-up if you are participating in this challenge. If you are not a blogger – please leave a comment below to let me know that you have committed to the challenge!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don’t forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button or the Marriage Challenge button to your post so your readers can find us here!

Walk with the King!


  1. You got it right Courtney~ throwing up a fight, yelling is not strength, that is EASIER to do then saying your sorry and taking the first step. Love this blog today and all the fun ways to tell your man that you love him..cant wait for week 2!!!!

  2. I'm quite stubborn and I have a hard time apologizing first. My hubby on the other hand normal doesn't. It's such a blessing to me and an example of how I need to be.

    And…right now he's outside shoveling and cleaning snow off cars so we can get to work. I love him!

  3. Oh Courtney, how I laughed when I read your post today! Your description of your behaviour/thoughts during that fight sounds like you're talking about me 😉

    Like you, I cannot deny the Spirit whispering to me that I ought to go first. When He starts talking, I start walking! Pride has no place in my life… He makes sure of that. When I "dig my heels in" I'm the one who pays for it.

    Thanks for this wonderful post and all the great ideas.

  4. Thanks for the great ideas! The first time the Holy Spirit told me to apologize first I thought you must be crazy. Didn't you see/hear what he did? You want me to apologize. Just like you, it worked and we had a really nice, civil conversation. Imagine That! Each time, it seems to get easier. lol

  5. We can observe any toddler and see what behavior comes naturally during an altercation! lol! Your blog rings so true for me and allowed me to reflect on how far my marriage has come in dealing with conflict.

    When I was growing up in a very dysfunctional home, I hated the screaming and arguing (and the hitting and running) that would come from my parents. They divorced when I was small, so I never saw a healthy way to handle altercations with a spouse. I always thought "how hard is it? All you have to do is be the one to apologize whether you were right or not."

    Well, that theory worked… until I got married. Lol! It took years to realize the difference between apologizing and forgiving, and between being a doormat and extending grace. I even went through a faze where I REFUSED to apologize at all. Ugh!

    I still get referred to as a doormat sometimes, but, like you, I know that's not true, and that the world's view of my life will be much different than God's view. (and I'm MCUH happier being free from bitterness!) So now I don't concentrate on who does or does not apologize first… but concentrate on allowing the Lord to show me where I was wrong in the situation and pulling from His strength to bite my lip and extend His grace. Thanks for the reminder and for always speaking the Truth!

  6. Needed to hear this , this morning. My husband and I had a little 'tiff' just now. I'm sitting here on the computer "fuming' while he's outside shoveling snow. Well now it's time for me to get my boots on and go outside and apologize. Thanks for sharing,you're such a blessing.

  7. Alex – too cute!!!!

    Courtney – boy those first steps are H.A.R.D., aren't they? I've done this and it is really difficult. Thanks for the wonderful ideas!!!

  8. Alex is adorable!! LOL. Great post. SO often we take our husbands for granted, and never think that our lack of "affection" or praise might affect them, but it does. It's so important to tell our men how much we love and appreciate them – even if we don't feel like it! And it's just as important to admit our transgressions and our mistakes with a gentle and loving apology.

  9. Thanks for this challenge Courtney, my husband and I have laughed and giggled more with each other this week than in a long time! Also I got and started reading "Intimate Issues" that you had suggested and I love it!

  10. I love this challenge! One of my goals for 2011 was to say sorry first more often. I have struggled with that my whole life. Not sure why. But I have realized that the more I do it-the more natural it has become. The words "I'm sorry" no longer feel like sandpaper in my mouth! When we apologize, we have really ruined the devil plans. That's total victory!

  11. I started today already. I put a little note in his lunch that says, "I miss you."

    Yesterday I called to tell him how I love hearing his voice.

  12. Oh my, these are such wonderful tips. Reminds me to get out of the preschooler and infant haze and remember my husband. I love the balloon idea and will be doing that soon. And as soon as the snow melts! I must do the sidewalk chalk idea. It is way too cute.

  13. This post was awesome! Thanks for all the great ideas.

    I copied and pasted this quote from it as my status on Facebook (and gave credit to you :))

    "It's easy to scream, yell, and fight. No one has to teach me how to do that…The harder thing is to bite my tongue and choose to not fight. That takes strength. The weak are those who hold a grudge, remain in their bitterness, refuse to forgive – The strong can give what Jesus gave – forgiveness, mercy and grace"


  14. Writing up 10 things I like about him: 1.usually you don´t think about that after so many years of marriage.2. You always focus on the things he is doing wrong, right? And then you have to apologize and think about what you like about him??? LOL!! I simply ♥ it!!! Only by the Lord´s grace we are able to do these, and really be a reflect of what Jesus is in our lifes!

  15. AMEN, Courtney! (Spoken from experience!) And especially when there's times you will wait forever if you wait for a man to apologize first- and him sincerely know what he's apologizing for! Often times they're just confused and don't know what to do! (Not always, but sometimes. Of course maybe that says something about us women?!)
    This is actually a good life lesson in general, no matter who you're arguing with! Humbling yourself is often seen as weak, when as you said, it is actually the bigger & harder thing to do. Humbling yourself is very different than humiliating yourself! It's the Jesus thing to do! Thanks!

  16. Courtney, I LOVED how you reminded us that "going first" is not weak, but strength showing through — being confident & strong in Christ's unfailing love. Thank you for that!

  17. You are so right, screaming and yelling are easy! It takes so much more strength to forgive and take the first step. Thank you so much for this post, I loved all the fun ideas for showing our husbands how much we love them.

  18. I need help. I love my husband with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life him. He is going through a midlife (crisis) I think and told me yesterday he cares for me but doesn't love me. I have been doing and saying much of these things often too. How can I make him fall in love with me again???

  19. Oh, Courtney, I'm SO the same way…refusing to apologize! Ugh…it's so hard to obey God sometimes, but always worth it!

    I just sent him at text thanking him for working hard to provide for us. 🙂

  20. My husband doesn't really respond to this type of thing. I know he likes me reminding him I love him, so I still do, but I don't expect him to get all giddy over it. 🙂 lol

    also, this past weekend, my lovely husband broke a commitment we made to each other 10 years ago, that we have held dear until last weekend. I love him, but I was very hurt. In the process of that weekend, he badly damaged his ankle.

    This past week, I wanted so badly to take my kids and run, but God told me no..

    Instead, on Tuesday, the kids and I went shopping and bought him several items to help his ankle heal up, as well as party decorations. We made a big 3-tiered cake and topped it with a Super hero figurine, we wrapped the hero's foot up, like it was broken. The cake read, "Our Hero, Get Well Soon Dad!"

    It took a lot for me to bless him that way, but it was worth it, although he has been busy at work, and hasn't responded much to our love, I know he cares about us. And I know God cares more about our marriage being intact than my wanting to raise the kids in a more godly setting.

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