My Views on Modesty & WLWW Link-Up Party!

Last week the issue of modesty came up when I wrote the brave story of Kylie Bisutti – I applauded her for stepping down from her very high profile and high paying position at Victoria Secret.  This post opened a can of worms for some readers as modesty becamse the topic of some of the comments…which I moderated (and I know I frustrated some of you – I apologize 🙁 ). 

As a result, a couple emails came in asking me to write on the topic of modesty.  So let me direct you to a post I wrote last spring titled:

 Spring Fashions and Modesty  – this is a summation of my thoughts on that topic.

In the past, I have also featured Rachel Lee Carter’s Video from and I’d like to share it again here because it completely captures my heart and thoughts on modesty!


My very good friend Karen Ehman is featuring an interview of Kylie and a giveaway of Rachel’s book on her blog today! 

She is giving away a few copies of Rachel’s book titled Fashioned by Faith and Shari Braendel’s book Good Girls Don’t Have to Dress Bad

To enter to win – leave a comment on her post at

Now It’s link-up time!

It’s Women Living Well’s Wednesday Link-Up Party!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don’t forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (Posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

To find the code go to the sidebar – or right click and “save as” the button and then upload it into your post! 🙂

Walk with the King!


  1. Super video! You could sense a spiritual maturity and keen insight … and she is so cute and fun! Real inspirational.

    I guess we need to be careful when it comes to putting new believers in the limelight or on a pedestal. It’s gotta be pretty unsettling to represent Christ as a role model in such a public way when you are still learning what a faithwalk is all about … and then to have all kinds of comments tossed your way. I’d love to know that the sweet sister that you interviewed this week is being nurtured, loved, and mentored well.

    Let’s show grace. And be super-discerning on holding new believers up as role models way too soon.

    May God bless both these beautiful women as they grow in maturity in their faith, even as they navigate their way through what must be a very difficult profession.

  2. In the idea of Modesty and what the bible says it also states that Women are not to wear that of a man and a man should not wear that of a woman…aka pants…ever wonder why on the bathroom doors you see a silhouette of person wearing pants for men’s room and a silhouette of a dress for a woman’s room? If you dig into scripture you find that God has specific standards for a man and a woman on dress and conduct. Just a thought…

    1. Umm…when the Bible was written, the men were wearing robes and the facilities were not enclosed. If they were enclosed, the symbols on the door would be similar in design.

      1. Thank you. I was in that group of dress-only women for a while and there is so much social pressure in that subculture that it took a major event in my life to break me out of the fence laws of man. I appreciate the simplistic reminder that back in the day, all men and women wore tunics just the same. There were WARRIOR clothes, and that’s what that scripture directly speaks to of a woman not wearing that which pertaineth to a man. Those were different and so was the situation. Modesty is a completely different topic than women in warrior garb. I appreciate the grace I now walk in with some of the most beautiful precious Godly women I know, in a very modest church, but not legalistic.

  3. Thanks for the post on modesty 🙂 🙂 I’ve been reading quite a bit about this on various blogs this week 🙂 🙂 Oh, and thanks for the link to Karen Ehman’s site, too 🙂 🙂 Wonderful, biblical encouragement…it rocks 🙂 🙂 Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather 🙂

  4. I applaud you for writing about modesty and sharing your post again. It is a subject that needs to be discussed with young girls and boys nowadays. You have nothing to apologize for in my opinion… Preach it girl!

  5. Just getting ready to discuss this with the teenage girls in Sunday School class. The latest fashions does not dictate what we wear but God’s word does. We should never dress as to cause another man to stumble.

    1. My silly computer ;)…. I too struggle with finding modest clothing…my family and I just moved to Thailand with the US government…let’s just say that nothing (clothes, shoes,etc) fit this American girl by a long shot….the styles here are very risqué and immodest or very old and sloppy….if you want anything that is flattering and modest you have to find a tailor.

  6. Thanks so much for sharing on this topic. I had no idea last week’s post generated such hype. After mentoring teens for more than 15 years and raising my own young daughters, I see how this issue can divide and challenge everyone on their definition of modesty. Way to go on tackling the subject!

  7. I enjoyed both your post [that you linked to] and the video here.

    I don’t wear pants, but I LOVE to see people’s puzzled or surprised expressions when I tell them that it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with a “modest clothing conviction”…

    thank you again for your stand!

  8. So, here I write, because I love to talk about fashion. ESP…modesty. I just wanted to say one thing. Modesty is a heart issue, not a clothing issue. If you’re heart is in the wrong place so will your clothes. You cant expect a young girl to dress modestly if you haven’t reached her heart, or if Christ hasn’t rather. Craving attention is normal, but the desire to crave Gods attention is the healthy alternative we need to teach young girls. They won’t get the dressing modestly part without the heart part first.

  9. Thanks for discussing this topic. My heart broke when someone I love told me he didn’t even know where to look in church. Its difficult enough in the world – why should we make it difficult for young men in church too?

  10. Courtney, I’d love to see you do another post on modesty. Some of the comments here are right along the lines of what I’m hoping to see: descriptive examples of how to dress modestly. I am not really sure how to go about dressing more modestly while also being stylish. I’d love to see examples of modern, stylish clothes and outfits that are modest so I can learn how to choose clothing better myself. Plus, I feel like I’m not very talented at styling myself. When I see an ad, I know what I like, but when I get to the store I feel lost. I end up wearing a solid black, white, or gray top and solid pants. Boring! I need help learning how to put it all together while still being appropriately covered up.

    1. Lauren, thank you for having the heart to want to be teachable! As a pastor’s wife, can I encourage you to continue to seek God for wisdom and understanding and to ask Him to give you personal convictions in this area? I love reading books and blogs on becoming a more godly woman, but I really think when women get too much dependant on descriptive ideas and “lists” we tend to sometimes lose sight of grace and become too focused on externals. Just look at blog comments where women cannot seem to discuss this with grace. Some women disagree about wearing pants. I have even seen some women make a list stating that wearing nylons is seductive, while others think having bare legs and NOT wearing them is seductive. I agree with dressing in a way that does not “tempt” men and while the survey the Harris brothers put out is eye-opening and insightful, I do not think everytime a guy says he is “tempted”, it is a woman’s fault. Some comments on there say women putting on chapstick tempt them. REALLY? I remember a high school boy telling my husband once that a girl weaing a seatbelt was a distraction, because of where it crossed and clung to her body. Should we all stop weaing seatbelts to prevent stumbling? That’s ridiculous that we would place such a burden on young women to think they are always responsible for a man’s lack of control in his thought life!

      Modesty is primarily an attitude of the heart. Yes, we need to learn it, but even mature Christian women will never agree and making a “list” seems to lead a lot towards legalism. There are certainly guidelines we can all agree on (making sure clothes are not too tight, too short, ride up, when we lean over things are not visible). I would encourage you to read on this subject on your own. Do not just follow advice based on what people claim is or is not modest. The Bible does not give us a list, but states it begins with our spirit. Begin by cultivating a sweet, humble, learning spirit. Pray for wisdom, and strive toward modesty as God leads you!

      Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Courtney, for addressing these topics in ways that are non-judgemental, gracefilled, and encouraging women to develop convictions based on God’s Word! I have enjoyed your blog in the past year since I found it, and appreciate your heart so much!

  11. Thank you for writing that piece on Kylie! I appreciate seeing someone who is blessed enough to be given everything that our “society” holds as positive, yet stand strong with the conviction of what she feels God has led her to do. **Not everyone is convicted of the same thing at the same time**. For her to realize her conviction, act on it, and stand by it, I believe, is what we are called to do. It is in God’s timing of when things are revealed and when the scales fall from eyes. I, for one, was not raised in church and have had to feel God’s conviction on different aspects of my life at different times – and sometimes it’s hard to obey, follow through and stand firm. I applaud her for doing so and, you for being bold enough to share it with us.

  12. Let’s be clear about one thing: Men have brains… let’s hope since many Christians consider the husband the head of the household. If a man is making all the major decisions, I would HOPE he can control what he thinks about. I also think we need to do a better job of not sexualizing women and discouraging boys from objectifying women. Ideas about sex and gender are not ingrained from birth, they are learned. It’s not just about the clothes, it’s about teaching respect. Women have bodies, and you can see that body in most clothing (even modest clothing). If we have low expectations for boys and men (“Boys will be boys!”), then how can we expect any change?

  13. Courtney,
    I’m sorry to hear that you had irritating posts from the other day, but I would like to encourage you to “be strong and courageous.” as a mother of 2 boys, I appreciate mom’s helping their little girls be modest in their dress and also their teenagers. There are some things that don’t need to be explained to an 8, 9, 10 yr old boy (g-string sticking out of a pair of pants for 1) But a great resource that I have directed a few mom’s to is this is a great website for helping those young ladies though life’s tough times.

  14. On Alex and Brett Harris’ (brothers of Josh Harris, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”) website there is a modesty survey. It is long and detailed and takes time to go through, but extremely thought provoking as to what makes men stumble. It is a man’s take on womens modesty. My take after going through a lot of the survey is that sometimes I think *we think* we are dressed modestly, but we are not, and it is a stumbling block for men.

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