/ / Just 2…

Just 2…

Just Two...

Sometimes I wonder, what difference can I make with only 2 children.

If I had 10, what a powerful legacy I would have…but two…I only have two.  And Sunday I teared up as I talked to my mom about those two empty chairs at our kitchen table…and that spare bedroom that would be perfect for a 3rd child, and those two sets of bunk beds in each room that would be perfect for baby #4 and #5…but all I have is 2.

As I drove away teary eyed from our discussion – with longings in my heart unfulfilled…God brought to mind the lives my mom has touched through… just 3.

3 daugthers who walk with the King.

Thanksgiving Sisters & Mom
L to R: my Mom, my oldest sister, Me, my middle sister

The oldest sister has had a revolving door of children through her home for two decades.  Just this past Sunday I walked past the bus of children our church brings from the inner city – the children were waving their hands out the windows and shouting “Hiiiiiiii Courtney” and I waved back to the children AND to my sister. She has ridden this bus faithfully every Sunday for nearly a decade…so many lives have been touched by just one daughter willing to sacrifice her Sunday mornings to make these children breakfast, go to their homes, meet their parents, and give out an endless supply of hugs, gum and Jesus’ love.

Then there’s my other sister.  For years on Fridays, I faithfully see her invitation pop up on Facebook – “come to our house for fellowship tonight!”  And a dozen young married couples and a score of children arrive to read God’s word and enjoy an evening together in the hospitality of her home.

And then…there’s the little one…who’s all grown up now…with just those 2 children…who longs for more but knows she should be content.  She has an on-line ministry that touches so many – why does that not fill that void?

I reflect on my mother…just 3…

I reflect on my own home…just 2…

Just 3… her 3 have gone on to touch so many more lives simply because she was faithful to pour into us girls God’s word, God’s grace, God’s unconditional love and God’s truth.

And I wonder…can I do the same with just 2?  I know this chapter of my life has not closed yet and God may have #3 waiting for me as a surprise…but if he doesn’t…I must learn to be content with …just 2.

As I drove in the car with tears streaming down my face – I wrestled…I wrestled with how to deal with the emotions that helplessly wash over me from time to time about…just 2.  And then suddenly I breathed…I pondered the truth that my mom had…just 3.

God comforted me with a remembrance of how he has worked in the generation before me…I am my mom’s legacy…just a little one of 3.

I can trust that God will use my…just 2… for his glory.

Mom – you are one in a million and I’m SO thankful for you.  Thank you for our “little talk” on Sunday night.  Thank you for reminding me that God is in the details, I have…just 2… for a reason.  I must learn to trust and be glad.

I love you Mom – You are a Gift!

Walk with the King,

105 Comments

  1. I have 3, and have often felt the same way as you. This post was beautiful and encouraging. Be faithful in the small things and God will honor that. Thank you for sharing your heart, and thanks to your mom for faithfully pouring her heart into her little family and making a HUGE impact for God!

    And I pray God has more blessings on the way for you Courtney!

  2. Those of us who don’t have a “big” number of children are also SO VERY important to God’s kingdom! Just think how He can multiply the blessings and ministry in future generations! Two becomes four, then the grandchildren and on down the line 🙂 And the grace and love we show our children overflows to others in their lives too–friends, coworkers, classmates. 2 Timothy 1:3-7 are the verse that come to mind when I think about this!

    Praying for you tonight, Courtney–you are a great blessing to me and so many others with your strong faith and conviction. Press on!

  3. Courtney, I can so relate. With just 2 of my own I wonder if that is enough but I know that the timeless question of “enough” will never find the answer in this world but only through the time I spend with my Heavenly Father. God recently spoke to me very powerfully that purpose and priority are 2 different things. My purpose is to glorify Him and Him alone. My purpose is not my children. Obviously they are a HUGE part of my priority in this life but I am no less complete or without purpose without them or a host of other things I can strive for. You do touch the lives of so many and I pray for my children as I know you pray for yours that God will multiply the time and sacrifices we make in His time for His name. So glad you shared this message of hope to me that the 2 I have are a gift and Gos will see fit to bless my “just 2”.

    Megan

  4. Courtney, you are so blessed. You are touching the lives of thousands of women everyday, more than you would ever know…and you are “just one”. And your “just two”, only God knows how many lives that they will touch.

  5. Courtney, I totally get it! I’m in the exact same boat with “just 2” little munchkins and a heart that secretly pines for more. I’ve wrestled with feeling like a failure—a failure according to my own expectations of what our family would look like. When getting married we wanted four or five little darlings, but now we’re feeling the hard dose of reality that comes with having “just 2” (financially, emotionally, physically). I envisioned our life with more, and it’s the coming to terms with having less, that is so hard. Why, oh why, is that such an unexpectedly painful pill for me to swallow? Thanks for the vulnerability, C. It resonated!

    1. oh my goodness I feel like I am reading my own thoughts seriously I think I wanted like 7 children and hubby wanted 5 but with two longer and tiresome labors and I am not the poster child of handling the pain of childbirth. I am not sure but my heart desires more I am a little better since last spring when every “month” came around I was an emotional basket case when finding out we were not expecting and then around the time I was struggling with the “2” children I had my two sister in law’s were both pregnant It was a very challenging time for me and u know how it when you see a woman who is expecting or a new baby we have a little “pull” on our heart strings. So I have totally been there but you know what I have been focusing on the positives and my marriage has never been stronger than right now I am just trying to reflect on my 2 and my hubby and after 6 seeming like very long months the Lord has been renewing a new heart in me “peace” and sometimes in the moment we don’t see the purpose but the Lord always has his plan and it is a perfect one surrender all your burdens to him, and He is the only one who can give you peace maybe he wants you to ponder on this idea so that he can strengthen your heart. I hope you find peace in soly Him.
      saring encouragement one heart to another
      Trust in Him,
      Maryn

  6. Your words are so heartfelt and I really appreciate your candor! I know the Lord is working many miracles through your ministry. I look at your family as THE PERFECT family!!!!!!!!!!!! Honestly, I WISH I had a son and daughter! You are very blessed!

  7. I have…just two, also. I have longed for more but as time passes I pray that if more is not His will for me that I would be content with my two. I am blessed to have two healthy, wonderful children but always desired to have more. The scary part is…I think He’s helping me be content with two. Which is kind of sad, since that probably means two is all…but I am blessed. I strive to be the best Godly mother I can be to “just those two.” Thanks for your words tonight. 🙂

    1. the Lord rewards His that are patient and content. it encourages me that I am not alone in this area of wanting more when I too have just “2”. I am totally the same way in that the Lord has been giving me contentment in this area too your words are seriously very encouraging and I love it when I hear that so many other mom’s are struggling like me. You know what I have found that you don’t have to be the “perfect” mom to be a “good” mom My mother in law taught me that. your words have touched me so much thank you.
      In Christ,
      Maryn

  8. I love this post! Makes me take note and really realize that the Lord is looking for just ONE to really Worship and Follow Him.

    Besides, didn’t just 2 enter the Promise Land. (Well, more really but you know what I mean.) 😉

  9. Thank You so much for this Courtney!!! I really needed this today 🙂 My son died of cancer and I find myself constantly longing to see him again! He was almost 7 years old and it’s just so hard to deal with sometimes. But, you’ve made me face the fact that he left a legacy! He was an amazing kid! Loved by SO many!! He was also one of four! I have a hope that my other 3 will lead equally amazing lives and touch others along the way!! 🙂 Losing my son has definitely opened conversations and many doors that would have never been there, had we never hit bottom 🙁

  10. Just two more than the barren woman….. I can relate to your post. For many years, I had just one. All of our attempts to add to our family failed, including in vitro failures, miscarriages, and a private adoption in which the baby died when born at 28 weeks. Twelve years later, God richly blessed our lives with “just two” of the most amazing little girls through adoption. They were born six months apart and we got them both through private adoption at their birth. Who but God would plan such things as this! This situation is unheard of in the adoption world, but God in his infinite wisdom had a plan to complete our family! Keep having faith that God is ever mindful of your family, your desires, and your best interests, and will respond according to His perfect timing and plan! Thank you for blessing me through your blog and your example! Praying for you!!

  11. Really nice family picture! Amazing how when were thankful for and loving on our “just two” the blessings He pours upon us and them, possibly in the form of more than “just two”. Blessings! 🙂

  12. Courtney, you spoke the words of my heart. We have 2 sons, 11 and 9, but have always prayed for more. We were told we would never have children, so we know how blessed we are with our precious 2. I have often wondered WHY God didn’t entrust us with more. I often want to say “but we want more!”, especially when I am around others with large families and it hit hard when I entered the blogging family. I can see God’s hand in the last few years when life has been extremely tough. I have become content where I am, although I still have deep aches. I know it only takes one to change many lives and we have been blessed with two. I am sad at how many years I wasted with the 2 precious ones before me, because I was thinking of the ones not here, but I know God understands the hurt. Hugs to you!!

  13. Oh , Courtney, tears filled my eyes as I read your post. so many of those very same thoughts have been mine at one time or another. Now baby number two is about to graduate from college, I had to have a hysterectomy two years ago, even two adoptions fell through. “Just two, Lord? Imagine what I could do if You only gave me more.” But that is not the path He laid out for me-even at 50 that longing creeps back into my heart at times, and the tears still roll. As I pray my heart to the Lord, contentment is more and more a part of my life. I cannot change the past, but I can move on. I can love on every college kiddo He brings to my door (my dear hubby is a prof. at a small university.) And my two…they are having an impact on many lives (believer’s in the field of science?!) and I am very proud of the godly young men they are becoming- the light they are in the world. I am learning to trust that God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me only two wonderful sons to love and raise and home school.

    1. Juli skekton, is a reversal possible? Many have gone on to have post-reversal babies! Have u ever visited aboverubies.com? Just a suggestion! God bless you!
      SaraA

  14. The beauty of…
    Faithful with what He’s given.
    The power of…
    His ability to expand and grow and blossom through whatever-is-His-plan.

    And–I love your heart and your willingness to be open to whatever He has…

  15. oh me too… I always wanted 8! After waiting 8 1/2 years for my surprise blessing, and having studied Jacob’s family, I decided to name him (figuratively) Judah – praise, instead of Jacob – he will add. I wanted Him to add, but instead I focused on praise! As my son gets older it gets harder to not ask for more. Jesus so gently and sweetly tells me no. Oh bless your heart, Courtney!

  16. Gah, Courtney. I am fighting back tears. I know as I read through the comments that I am not the only one that is touched by this post, nor are you and I alone in the thoughts about “just 2.” Thank you for your courage in writing this. We have struggled for 9 years, and God has given us “just 2” as well. Our 2 are an absolute blessing and miracle, one adopted from foster care as child #9 of those who had come and gone from our home in 3 years time, and one by a miracle pregnancy after being told it would never happen and 3 failed rounds of infertility treatments. So I KNOW my children are miracles and a blessing from God. Our magic number has always been 6. We’ve longed for a big family. And yet I know that it is more important that I am faithful to these 2 right before my eyes, and any others we might foster along the way (we’ve since fostered #10, 11 and 12). Thank you for your vulnerability and for your faithfulness to your two. Know that God is also using you powerfully to touch women like myself who read your blog. Blessings!!

  17. (((hugs))) My husband and I also have two, and this post touched me as I must say I have had these guilty thoughts. Let me tell you a story that is true… my two brothers’ wives, both of them, are unable to have children of their own–yet. And, God willing, they may or may not. I see the loss and stress over the years and have felt guilty and sad when we are at family gatherings–guilty feelings of actually being a mother in the first place and also at church or my husband’s side of the family of “just” having my two (they are Samoan and have HUGE families!) Oh my sisters-in-law are so strong through the Lord’s grace, so trusting in God, and so unconditionally loving towards my children and other babies, I just had to tell you their strenght through trusting God in His plan for their lives. Christ will fill your void, or maybe there is no void in His eyes? God bless you and your family. Thank you again for your words of encouragement and honestly living and telling your journey. Ms. Courtney, you are truly a blessing through your ministry here.

  18. If you had more than 2 at this point in your life, I truly wonder if you would have been able to do as much with your blogs and with GoodMorningGirls as you have! You should count all these thousands of GMG women as part of your 2! I have 5 and at different points in my life wished I could be doing other things that are more involved in ministry but I had to focus on my own family. I was reminded by a wise, older and godly woman that there is a time and season for everything.

  19. This spoke to me … thank you. I had “just two” for eight years and desperately wanted more. I begged and pleaded w/ God. Eventually we had #3 but not before God taught us much. His timing is always perfect. (Blessings to you)

  20. Courtney, your words reverberated in my heart! I have only “1” and with a second marriage, I gained “2” more, but they live thousands of miles away from us now. So, my “1” (40 now!) is my legacy. Fortunately, I’ve had the joy of teaching many children in Sunday School and LOGOS, and I’ve mentored with Mothers of Preschoolers now for almost 6 years giving me many opportunities at grandma-ing (my son never had children of his own), and our son’s second marriage has blessed us with some great-grands (2). So, you see our legacies come about in different ways and in different numbers, and God watches over each and every one every day. Thanks for sharing the beautiful “mom legacy” in your family!

  21. I can relate to this issue I secretly yern to be the duggar family at we have been trying for 6mth and still can’t get pregrant with baby number 2 and I just turn 30 I have my days I’m a crying mess cuz im 30 and nt pregrant w number 2 yet I try and remind myself all gd things come in gods timing I have to b patience which is hard when literally every one I know is pregrant or just gave birth .so hard nt to get bitter or jealous that it’s nt me but I’d rather b patience and wait for is timing then take thing in my own hands and Somethg b right and I lose a baby I also remind myself we all aren’t called to b Michelle duggar or Kelly bates that’s a calling for them god has Somethg differant for me and u and differant Doesnt mean less important it’s all important to god so keep ur head up courtney ur a spiritual mom to hundred if nt thousand

  22. We have ‘only one’ daughter….but, oh, what a blessing. She and her husband have 2 boys and are in the process of adopting 2 more children from an orphanage in Uganda. She is such a strong young CHRISTian lady….and God truly blessed us with her. I often wish I had had more children….but I’m way too old now and my name isn’t Sarah!!! 😉 Thank you for sharing such a precious post from your heart!!! Our SONday school teacher stresses transparency….and this is one of those kinds of posts!!! HOPE you have a blessed day!!!

  23. I prayed for years and cried so many tears wanting children. My dream was to have at least 4 children. I was just blessed with “just one”. But God blessed me with the best son a mother could ask for. He is a faithful servant to our Lord Jesus Christ. I am so proud of him and my heart is full of joy and love because of this blessing. I love being a Mom. I hope we have glorified God in the way that my husband and I have raised him. Looking back I still wish there were more babies but I am so grateful for “just one” because it could of easily have been “just none” Thank God I did not have to live with that broken heart.

  24. Oh Courtney, there is no ‘just’ in God’s eyes! My husband and I have one son, so we are a family of three, but I know that God uses us every day and that we are just as important to Him as larger families. I’m so sorry that your longing for more children has yet to be fulfilled, but rest assured that God will use your family to His glory, no matter how many of you there are.

  25. When we began trusting the Lord with our fertility COMPLETELY it was just one year ago. It did not take me long AT ALL to learn that trusting the Lord with your fertility when you actually desire more children is harder than trusting Him when you do not. My heart goes out to you. I know the Lord has a specific plan for your children and I look forward to reading about how it unfolds and the legacy you leave through them one day!

  26. I love you and your “just 2” just as you are!! I am thankful that you are obedient to what God has called your family to look like, be and do!! We are the FULL body of Christ and you are rooted and strong and bringing those wonderful kids to walk daily with the King!
    Love you!

  27. Your words spoke so loudly to my heart.

    I, too, was the mother of “just 2” and felt something was missing. I tried so hard to keep my heart from coviting more children- but it was so hard. I struggled with my wave of secondary infertility- it had no biological reason, I just couldn’t seem to get pregnant. I went months and months, and then year after year, struggling with my desires. Each month I would grow hopeful that maybe this would be the magic time- maybe this would be it!!!

    Finally, last December, I gave up. I gave my will to God- and I told him that it is all in His hands. I really offered my heart. It was difficult, and I was not thrilled- but I did it. I told God I trusted Him and His timing, and I know He is in control and will bless us at the right time.

    We got our positive test just three weeks later.

    Life is so difficult. So many evils run in the world today. It is so hard to keep our children safe from harm. I wondered if maybe I was only given two because it is *that* much harder for kids to stay safe in God’s sweet shelter. I wondered if maybe I wasn’t “cut out” for more. I wondered if I was inadequate. I knew, I did, that I was fairing better than many- I was a Christian, a homeschooling mother, and I work hard to walk along the path of Christ- but somehow my heart was still not at ease. I had to offer up my pain and sorrow, my feelings and desires, I had to give it all away and trust God.

    Your story touched me. I had *no* idea that you had feelings like this. So often (like now- at 4am when stress takes my sleep) I turn to your wonderful ministry and look for comfort and guidance- I forget that you are a human- you seem super human! Just the other day I had commented on one of your facebook posts about my husband losing his job last week- soon after you responded that you were saying a prayer for us. I was elated! You are such a celebrity to me! But in my giving you that status, I was silly and forgot that you are a woman- like me, with hopes, fears, and desires of her own. I had no idea this was one of them.

    I will say a prayer for you, right now, for your comfort. You are such an amazing woman, I really do look up to you, and I thank you for all that you do.

  28. Courtney, I have struggled with the same thing for quite some time as well! Thank you, for pouring out your sweet heart and sharing this longing.

  29. That is exactly how I feel lately. I just have two. Three of my friend have just welcomed baby #4 to their families within the last two weeks. Another couple have six children so I often feel that “just two” feeling. I must be careful not to compare myself to others. I don’t know why I do that all of the time. I know the Bible says not to do that. I need to focus on being thankful and faithful. Thanks for this post Courtney. God bless you and your family today!

  30. Sweet Courtney, “quiver-full” is a heart attitude rather than a large family. Allowing the Lord to determine your family size AND being content with His will is the key. I do have ten children, but sometimes I am overcome by guilt by the fact that I cannot be the mother to each of them that I could be if my time were divided by two or three. My advice is to pour yourself into the Kingdom Warriors the Lord has blessed you with, even as you pray for Him to give you more blessings.

  31. I have struggled with the very same thing, Courtney! We have just 2 as well. I am so grateful for the two that I have, but I find myself feeling inadequate at times because our home isn’t bursting at the seams with children. It is very comforting to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way! Just as God doesn’t see our value through dollar signs, he doesn’t see our value through how many children we produce either. We are called to be content in all circumstances and to be faithful with what we’re given…so I’m praying that I will be blessed with oodles of grandchildren someday!! ;-D

  32. Oh, Courtney–this post really resonated with me. As someone who just recently suffered her second miscarriage in 6 months, I am struggling! The Lord (and others) is reminding me that my worth and identity are not found in my (in)fertility, but rather in HIM alone. He has blessed us with two amazing and precious little boys and I am so grateful for them! I have been trying lately to be intentional and really pour into them knowing that their lives are important and valuable. I am so thankful for the opportunities before me to raise up my “just 2.” And working on trusting that the Lord knows the rest of the story. Your honesty has been such a blessing to me this morning!

  33. Thank you for putting into prospective something I struggled with in reverse. It wasn’t until I was 40 years old that God blessed my husband and I with a son. We almost lost him at birth, but the Lord put those with us who could save him. All those years of watching friends and family have children was difficult, however, the Lord called me into a youth ministry that touched lives. Now at least two of those lives are touching many more teenage lives in the places they have been called to serve. Even now at almost 50, I yearn for more children, however the Lord has taken this engineer by profession and made her into a part time preschool teacher at a Christian school. Now I have 8 new children (and parents) every year to love. It clearly isn’t the same as the house full of children I dreamed about, but I KNOW I am walking the path God has put before me and that makes all the difference.. Your blog encourages me everyday. Thank you!

  34. I, too, long for more children, but I absolutely know that I can make a difference by influencing my 2 boys to be godly men in this country or elsewhere. Men who are godly leaders in the home are severely lacking these days and I pray everyday that my boys will grow up to be all God is calling them to be.

  35. I have just one but have learner to be contented with her. The door is not completely closed to another but I remember I was just one too. I am thankful for the just one Hod gave me because it took a long time to have her and wow what a spirit she has! We have all the quality time in the world so we can shape her onto a Christ following just one with an impact on many, we pray :).

  36. I love this post Courtney…I know this has been on your heart for some time. Visualizing Kristen on the bus with all those kids made me smile 🙂 I am certain that Alex and Lexi will one day be able to help you fill up those dining room chairs years from now 😉 I’m leaving it up to my future daughter and sons-in laws to help me fill up my home with more children, hehe. But, you know I have had the same struggle with wondering about more. It’s SO hard. LOVE you!

  37. Hi There,
    Thank you for your post! I was diagnosed with a disease that causes infertility when I was a teenager.
    I met my hubby when I was in my early twenties. I told him if he wanted a family that I would not be the girl for him. To my blessing…he wanted ME, and that would be good enough. 🙂

    After five years, I had a beautiful girl. Who has been the greatest gift. Then, my God blessed me again, twelve years later, with another precious girl. And at 41… I am pregnant with our third baby!

    My life has been a stage for God to be glorified as so many people have prayed for me and my children.

    He is an amazing God! You never know what He will do. All that I know is that it will be GOOD!

    Thanks again for sharing your story. I have felt all those same things. I love what God can do! Love you, sister!

    Heidi

  38. Lovely post today Courtney. I have one daughter, and since she’s who God has blessed me with, I know there is a reason I have just one. She is growing up knowing and loving the Lord, and that’s what matters.

  39. I was honestly amazed reading that you struggle with this desire. THANK YOU for your honesty. It’s so crazy because I have three, that were all “surprises”- we didn’t plan any of them! Of course, we received each child as our greatest joy, but the funny thing is, I was a professional saxophonist with a full scholarship in music, and thought I’d be travelling the world in music. Having kids slowed everything down, and I have often wept tears for the opposite reason as you, asking, “What can I do now, LORD?” and, “How long until something happens with the music, LORD?” If we are solid Christians, we know the answer always comes back to the LORD’s timing and purpose, but it doesn’t always remove the ache in our hearts. So, thank you for your honesty- you reminded me that we ALL have heart’s desires waiting to be fulfilled!

  40. When I start feeling like you do, I remind myself that God only had 1 and that was more then anyone will ever need.

  41. I think you are doing such a great job with your two and you never know what the Lord will bring into your life in later years! I have three healthy girls and I really wanted a boy. The Lord convicted me of not being happy and I had to ask forgiveness for that. I am truly happy and know that this was his plan all along! The Lord gives us what he knows is best! Plus now you have more room in your life for your ministry and other children that come along in your kids like you can minister too. God Bless!

  42. Courtney, I HEAR you. I always dreamed of a house full of children…..I also have 2. They are awesome, they keep me super busy. I also babysit and call them my “bonus” children. I enjoy when they go home, but still long for another to be my own. With my difficult pregnancies/deliveries I am not sure I want to do that again. My husband and I are starting to think about and pray about fostering a child to adopt. We are listening for what God wants, not just our will. So hard, when I know what I want! May God comfort you and all of us mommies who don’t feel our families are complete!

  43. I just knew we would have five! I wanted a large family…I somehow thought that would make me a complete woman. : ) But God…

    God knew two fine little boys who are now fine men would be just right for my husband and me.

    Mothering them has been a JoY and I am thankful for God’s provision of each day spent mothering them at home.

  44. I think we always doubt and question… as mommies… as humans… as sinners. We question our jobs, our choices, etc. But if we truly are followers of God, we know we are where he has us for his will and for our best. I need to keep this present in my mind as doubts can swell daily! Thank you for being transparent and your heart for other women!

  45. What a lovely posting and so much love. Even though we are all God’s children, we all know of God’s 1 and only divine son – Jesus – and look what only 1 did and continues to do today. I truly believe we are gifted with what God feels we need and will have us work directly with him for his miracles to occur. I also have 2 a 20 year old and a 9 years ASD/OCD I don’t think I could handle more than this but that’s God’s decision not mine. My son’s Godmother has 0 and if there was ever a person in the world that deserved a dozen it was she, but at 50 years old and unable to bear children, it was not her purpose, even though she has touch and loved and been a role model in hundreds of children’s lives. See she is a community theater director along with the drama director at her church and has a children’s program at both location. These children start at very young ages and stay, for the most part, until they are adults. She’s a strong Christian woman and is a blessing to many of these children, the lives she’s touched, changed and guided are amazing. Even if children are not our direct fruit, we have the power to love and guide children to God in so many ways. I have all the faith that God will bring peace to your heart and will continue to bless you and your entire family in unimaginable ways and if you are blessed with only 2 of your own, i have no doubt that you have and will continue to touch many. God Bless – again, what a beautiful posting. Thank you for sharing.

  46. I’m a zero, but feel completely blessed. Since my hubby and I can’t have kids I count the ones I teach my own. I’m a teacher to 23 special 2nd graders and a small class of Sunday schoolers age 3-1st grades.

  47. Your feelings of inadequacies due to having “just 2” instead of a houseful are straight from the devil himself. When it comes to a leaving a legacy, God can do more with your two precious children that a mom of ten can do in her own strength.

    This is something I have to keep reminding myself of because, right now, I have “only 1”. Many of my friends are pregnant with their second and third… I honestly feel like I’m in a race and I’m lagging behind. However, I do feel that my husband and I may begin to look into adoption and fostering-to-adopt avenues in the near future. We want to have as many children as God sees fit to give us, however He sees fit to give them.

  48. I think you already have an amazing impact on your two and many others. Think of all the moms and women in general you have touched who will in turn touch others. You may never truly know the impact you have, but God does and he’s totally stoked about it. I appreciate your honesty and I struggle so much with the same type of thing… we’ve been trying for children for 2.5 yrs now and it’s just not as easy as some people make it seem. I see the empty chairs and bedrooms in my house and know how my heart feels and I know that I want to be a mother, but so far it hasn’t happened. It’s gut wrenching and heart breaking, but I’m trying to find peace knowing that I can make an impact in other ways. I still pray that he allows me to have children, but until that day I’m praying that I can walk through my pain and discouragement to something better that he has planned. Thanks again for sharing your heart and for the impact you have through just 2… well 3, counting yourself 🙂

  49. Courtney–

    I have just 1. He is 3 years old I was 40 years old when he was born. I lost a pregnancy before him, and thought maybe I would never have any, so he is a true blessing to me. I have felt a real calling to try to add to our family, even at my age, our limited finances, and so forth…I lost another pregnancy back in February. We thought we were going to be adopting my nephew’s baby, due to some drug problems with the parents, but, God has answered our prayers for her parents, and they seem to have straightened their lives out, which is truly in the baby’s best interest.

    I am one day out from the day I can test to see if we join the roller coaster ride that will come with a positive result. I am on Clomid to help spur along ovulation, and that mimics pretty much all the pregnancy symptoms–I even have mild morning sickness. I will truly know nothing until I can get a positive test or…the regular monthly stuff. If it is positive, then the real craziness begins, as I pray that everything will take. It is quite the drama every month.

    I am trusting the His way and His time are right. Maybe I will end up with Just 1. My time to bear children is drawing to a close, so, if that is what happens, I know He will work with my beautiful boy.

    Many blessings!
    Carissa in eastern Iowa

  50. This has been on my mind, too–except that I have one. We waited for almost 15 years to be blessed with a child and then God indeed blessed us mightily through adoption. Our son is almost 10 now, and sometimes he wishes he had a brother. I often wonder if our little family of 3 is complete, or if God has other things in store . . . sometimes it’s so hard not to know what God is planning! 🙂 But I do believe that each child is a complete blessing from God in him/herself. Whether a family has one or twenty kids, each child has the potential, if he/she so chooses, to impact the world in the way God has willed for him/her. And God doesn’t make mistakes, so if I end up with one, and you end up with two, and someone else ends up with ten or twenty, we can rest knowing that God is in control and knows exactly what He wants to do with our families in His perfect plan! I LOVE that about Him! 🙂

  51. Thank you so much for this post!! I have two girls and I have been struggling with thoughts of contentment in just two. My plan was to have at least four – and in a way I did since I have two angels in Heaven. But I do know the feeling of wanting more and what impact am I making with only two little ones. All I can do is trust that God knows the answer!!

  52. Courtney,

    Thank you for your openness in this post. With so many other “good” and Godly things in my life, it is difficult to be content with such a deep longing in my heart.

    I read your post early this morning and it has been on my mind. Please don’t be discouraged–your ministry has been such an encouragement to me. When I was dropping off my ONE child this morning, he offered a great family prayer and talked about being a father on the way to school. My conclusion–Even one matters to God. Matthew 18:12-13

  53. Just so you know – I feel the same way with ‘just 5’!! I guess God has a work to do in all of us – to grow contentment in Him – not in the number of little ones we raise. I feel my hands are full to overflowing – so can’t fathom more – but seek to faithfully steward these lives that meander through our home every day. Jesus picked 12 – and that was enough to change the world!

    -sarah

  54. “one can put a thousand to flight….two can put ten thousand to flight”
    Your two are the majority with God. His kingdom advances, not based on numbers, but based on faith 🙂 which is what you’re pouring into your two arrows.
    Remember how God decreased Gideons army, not increased it?
    With God all things are possible…even leaving a HUGE legacy.
    Be encouraged. God is not limited to our small numbers when our faith is big.
    Happy Mother’s Day!

  55. When my husband and I married almost 16 years ago, we agreed we wanted to have more than one child. Well, we were given one child that has Down Syndrome. She is delightful and trying! 🙂
    I went through a period of time where I was upset that I could not seem to get pregnant again. Now I have come to accept that it may never happen again.
    Isn’t it wonderful that God knows wheat we can handle?!

  56. Courtney, I can so relate to this post. I only have 2 and both of those are gifts from God as I didn’t know if I would be able to have just 1. After the second child I had yet another surgery and cannot have any more children. I so long for another child at times. I have two wonderful sons, but on some days Satan plants the desire for that little girl that I didn’t have. At those times, I think of how much I have been blessed to have the 2 boys that I didn’t think I would be able to have. I think of all the other children that have touched my life. I go on facebook and read all the comments from the teens and preteens that call on me for encouragement and advice. If they only knew that I get so much encouragement from them. I will be praying for you. We all can change this world with God one life at a time.

  57. I always wanted at least 4 children and only had one. It was years before the Lord convicted me that my longing for more kids was hurting the one I already had. Once I realized that, I changed my attitude and began telling people that the Lord blessed me with a most amazing child. And she is amazing! She is 16 years old and has reached many people for Christ through foreign missions, school, and community service. She knows that the Lord has called her into full-time missions and she is already making college plans (3 yrs in advance) toward taking the courses/classes needed for wherever He sends her. She is “just 1”, but oh, what that one can do!

    Proud Mom of a missionary

  58. What a beautiful look into your heart Courtney, thank you for sharing. I’m sure the Lord has plans for you and your 2 children- whether it is more children, no children, or opening your home through foster care or adoption, He will lead you! Happy Mother’s Day.

    Blessings,
    Nicole
    workingkansashomemaker.blogspot.com

  59. Courtney,

    Your story today touched my heart. I loved what you wrote about your mother! I am Blessed to have her as my friend!
    I see Jesus in you & your mother!
    Hugs {{ }}

  60. THANK YOU for this post. I had to have a hysterectomy at 35. I have 2 children and they were 3 and 1 when I had my surgery. I thought at the time I wouldn’t want more, but over the past 10 years I cry often about the fact that mine are growing up so fast (13 & 16) and how much I would have loved to have had a large family. I know how blessed I am to have my 2 wonderful children with all of my previous health issues, but always prayed God would bring us more children in some way. As I am reaching 48, I am beginning to realize that this is probably not God’s plan. I feel guilty for not being content, but find that I am beginning to find more times of contentment. Thanks for letting me know through your post and several comments from others, that I am not alone.

  61. I love how you opened yourself up to everyone with this post! What a blessing your mother is to raise such wonderful women!

  62. Your story was very moving. I am sure that your “just 2” will move mountains in this world. Me and my husband are unable to have children and I have often wondered what I did to deserve this and why me. I have come to realize that God has put many other children in my life path through friends and relatives and I am able to love them and show them god’s love. I still pray continuosly for my own children and maybe some day god will bless us but in the meantime I am thankful for my “borrowed babies” and I hope that just 1 of them gets something out of what I have taught them and goes on to do god’s work. You may have “just 2” but it only takes just 1 to change a life. Thanks for sharing your story with us. 🙂

  63. I thought it was just me. Thank you now I know I am not weird! We adopted our two and when we had just one I struggled so hard. Friends even acted like I was not a real mom unless I had several children. So very hurtful! Our society idealizes women with several children and like if you have a lot of children that makes you a good mom. I am so thankful for what God has given me and I pray He will give me peace if just two is His will for my life!

  64. (((Courtney))),
    You made a BEAUTIFUL point about the impact you can have with those two precious children God gave you. And I have no doubt that your impact will be well aligned with God’s glorious plans, no matter the number of children He will ultimately call you to raise up for Him. Still, I understand your heart’s desire and how difficult it can be when our yearnings prevail regarding children.

    When I moderated at Hannah’s Prayer online, my eyes were opened to the many ways infertility and loss can impact a heart. I felt alone in never having birthed a child (God never did open my womb, but He did grow 4 incredible children in my heart through adoption, which deeply humbled and forever changed me.). At Hannah’s Prayer, I learned not only was I not alone in my struggle, but that other women who HAD birthed children, struggled with secondary infertility; a struggle that is just as painful for different (and some not so different) reasons.

    When we adopted, loved ones, fearing our adoption might fail, wouldn’t plan a shower for us until our daughter was 4 months old. I totally “got” that they held back out of love and concern, but at the time, I experienced that delay as another reminder of how infertility had impacted me.

    He works it all out. Somehow, in ways I would fail to put into words, our great God, who works out ALL for His good and our glory, …He works it all out. You keep pouring into those two beautiful children of yours. Keep ministering to us too. And drink in all that our God and Father has done in sending His ONE and ONLY Son. Even as your continue to lay your heart’s desire at His feet, fully bathed in prayer (I know you do). <3
    Blessings,
    Toni

  65. Wow, that was heartfelt. I have a daughter just like you that would love to have one more. Blessings to you for wanting another child; when many don’t want their’s at all. Just as your mother has a rich legacy of children who walk with Christ:; I am sure you will too.
    Thanks for a lovely post today.

  66. Thank you for giving us a very specific way that we can pray for you. YOU, Courtney, have touched our lives as you’ve devoted time to posting wise thoughts on your blog, studying God’s word so faithfully, making videos, leading in so many ways. We will pray for your burden and your aching heart.

  67. We had our first daughter just 13 months after getting married then struggled for years to get pregnant again. After nine years of waiting and praying we had another daughter. Our doctor congratulated us but said it was a fluke and not to expect it to happen again. Well, two years later we had another daughter! We always dreamed of a large family but we have “only 3”. It has been almost 10 years since our youngest was born and we haven’t had anymore pregnancies. I sometimes feel cheated and envy those with large families. It wasn’t until recently that I began thanking God for giving me three miracles even when the doctors said motherhood wasn’t possible. God DID answer my prayers. God DID make me a mother. God was working in my life, giving me blessings and I kept shaking my head and saying, “It isn’t enough!” I still struggle somedays with being thankful and content with what God has planned for me. Thank you, Courtney, for sharing your story!

  68. Thank-you for sharing! When we were expecting our 3rd I had an older couple tell us we were blessed and needed one more child (to make 4) because we are called to multiply – at least 4 children. I really took their words to heart and despite pregnancy complications (and 2 losses) we knew we wanted 4. A few weeks later my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. This alone didn’t mean we couldn’t have more children, but after much prayer acknowledging my pregnancy complications and now his cancer we decided not to have anymore. I still prayed and cried over the decision feeling like a “failure” and felt like I was giving in to fear. A few months later his cancer returned, and he endured chemotherapy that has rendered him sterile. Our decision was confirmed, and this was God’s Will for our family. I do still long for another sometimes, but all 3 of our kids also have Special Needs (Autism Spectrum – oldest, Sensory Processing Disorder – younger 2), so everything came together. God knew what He was doing as we have our hands full, and homeschooling our wonderfully unique children will already be a challenge! I have no doubt that “just our 3” have very special plans and will make an impact!

    I do hope to also participate in one of your link ups soon! 🙂

  69. We look at others and assume we don’t measure up, or assume we can’t impact the world as we had hoped, but we are missing God’s perspective when we do that. We don’t know his plans or how he will use us. I also think we have a tendency to underestimate our impact. I just look at what you do here and I am so thankful for this site and the lives you touch.

    I was just reading about Joseph, and I am reminded of how he spent those years, not knowing how God was preparing him. One of the verses I love and keep on my bulletin board is Hebrews 11:1: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

    It is my reminder that my hope is in him, and that he is always shaping me and preparing me for something I can’t see, and I just have to be patient.

  70. Just wanted to say God hasn’t written the last chapter yet with any of us. I have been married 32 years, homeschooled 26, and have 5 children, one daughter-in-law and 2 grandchildren. But from the time my first was 2 we waited for more to come. We attended a church that had big families and all we had was one. I wanted to wear a sign that said “We want more God just has a different plan”. And boy did he!!! When my oldest was 9, God dropped a newborn Down Syndrome baby into our laps and we said yes. (there is alot more to that story). When he was one he had AML leukemia and was treated for 15 months. That summer after 13 years of not getting pregnant, I was pregnant. We had 3 more birth children. My youngest is now 13. I never would have believed 30 years ago this was how it would be but God knew. I hear your heart cry to be all you can to the 2 God has entrusted you with and He will write the final chapters for all of us. I enjoy your posts. I could have used this kind of encouragement years ago when I felt like I was in the wilderness!!

  71. Wow what amazing responses,thank you for sharing your heart with us all.Know that you are not alone and that they are many women out there who feel the way you do.

    My story is that i am happy with two(1 boy&1 girl) and i don’t think i could handle any more.My huisband and I both agree on that.
    Two is our limit financially,emotionally and the rest of it.I used to want 4 like my Mum but reality is 2 is what i CAN handle.
    I believe as women we put to much emphasis and pressure on numbers and it’s not about that.

    God sent his ONLY son and look how our world has benefited. My focus is raising godly seed and passing on my love and passion for the LORD.

  72. Thanks so much for this post Courtney. I have looked for similar posts over the past few years but it is not something I think women want to talk about. We homeschool as well and are surrounded by lots of big families. We were blessed with one boy and one girl and I felt the longing for more when my second was about 2. Since it takes a lot to get through my stubborn head, I actually found out I was in early menopause (only 40) when I went to the dr because those pregnancy tests kept coming out negative even though I wasn’t having a period. Shocker! The Lord really had to make me hear his “NO” as I was praying for more! I know this is his will for our family but it has taken a long time for me to feel content with what I have (and still slip many times!) God bless you, your ministry and your family!

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  74. Courtney I recently found your blog and it has been such a blessing to me. I just wanted to share…when dreaming of a family in my 20’s I wanted 4 children. I married my husband and from the minute we got married we tried for childern. 13 years later with lots of prayers, faith and well a complete suprise at 37 I had my miracle baby boy. He is 3 now. How silly I was when I was younger to take having children for granted. Any number is a gift, a story, a legacy, a miracle! I used to sing that song “god will make a way when there seems to be no way….he works in ways I cannot see….he will make a way for me.” It kept my faith in god that someday it would happen. <3 Your blog has helped me more than you will know. Thanks again.

  75. I am a mother of three. My husband and I, after we were saved, when our oldest was about six, wanted more children and God blessed us with two more. We planned to fill the huge house we bought and the Suburban (car) we purchased with many more little ones and with room for our parents, as they aged, to move in with us all. I home schooled our kids while my husband worked VERY hard to support us so that I could stay at home with our children as we both desired. Having more babies was not to be—-well, in a way. Our three grew up to marry godly spouses, so, we had six children. Then they started having babies and now we have 17 offspring (3 children, 3 in-law children for whom God has given me a mother’s heart, and 11 grandbabies!) and we hope there will be lots more!
    Funny, well, not really—but being Christians with three children in a church where most of the families had many children I had to deal with many thinking us less spiritual for only having three. They did not know in our hearts we wanted many more. They also did not understand that it was God’s plan for us to be given three as gifts— and rewards for us and for Himself. In the world people made comments about having so many children (3, really?). In the church people made comments about us having so few children. Now, with 19 of us in all I am amazed that people attack my children through me. Not a wise thing to do —you don’t mess with my kids! People are so bold as to ask if our one daughter, the proud and happy mother of 8 of our grandchildren, and her husband are through. I always say, “I HOPE NOT!!” This usually leaves them speechless which would have been a good idea before they spoke their first word. I am appalled at the boldness of people to ask such a thing in the first place and the rude things that come out of their mouths said directly to us or our kids with the intent to hurt them.
    We’ve come a long way since the days that couples got married and wanted children right away. I will always remember the story my mother told me about how when she was not pregnant immediately after their honeymoon she cried and thought she was never going to have children. I was conceived the next month! And they went on to have “just two” —-wanted more but…..
    So, I have experienced the heartbreak, the joy, one possible miscarriage, and dealing with both sides of this issue—-which should never have become an issue in the first place. My heart goes out to, and I have prayed for, women who have commented here who are in pain for whatever reason, those in depression, ill-health or fear. Think before you speak or write, ladies—-do not speak hurtful words to anyone. You do not know what another woman is going through. You may be hurting a woman who desires with all her heart to have children, or more children. And if you have no understanding as to why a woman has many children you need to be quiet and read the Word of God for your answers. Continue to proclaim the word and truth but in love—which may still hurt some but only because they did not know or reject the word of God. God has much to say about this in His Word. Seek out what He says. Examine your hearts. And be kind.
    Thank you, Courtney—-love what you wrote! And I saw no unkindness at all in your post. I felt as if someone felt the same thing I did for all those years. I just wanted to give you hope—-whether you end up with your blessed two or are blessed to have more, you one day, Lord willing, double your children when they marry and then, when the Lord blesses you with grandchildren. There will always be a part of me that wishes we had had alot more children, but we did, in fact, have what the Lord intended us to have, for whatever reason in His perfect providence. And I never want my children to think that they were lacking in some way or insufficient in number for my happiness. Nor would I ever want children to think that their parents stopped having children because they were too much to handle or too difficult. We must be careful whether we have few or many children.

  76. Courtney,
    Thank you so much for re-posting this. When you first wrote it, I read it but did not identify with it yet. And now I do. The years of child bearing age are almost over, and my husband is certain we are done. I have not felt that peace yet. My church is very full of young couples who are having baby after baby. I have three, which by worldly standards may be a lot…but at our church it’s just a good start. Lol! We did not get married until our early 30s, so we got a late start. Some days I feel content, but others I see my pregnant friends and I long to feel a baby move inside of me or to nurse a baby. I am thankful to be home and pouring God’s word and His love into them. I often remind myself of the quote by Andy Stanley, “Your greatest contribution to the Kingdom of God may not be something you do but someone you raise.” And it only takes one! God bless you and your little ones, Courtney!

  77. I often feel overwhelmed in just the opposite way.. How can I possibly invest and shape and mold any more than two? I have SO much I want to give and teach a love with each one; if I have any more how could I ever measure up and give all I want to? I guess it is all in one’s perspective! So glad God knows best and we can trust his plan to be good 🙂

  78. thank you for this! I also have two…ages 5 and 3…a girl and boy and often struggle why I can’t be content. I struggled with post partum anxiety with both and they were both high needs/colicky babies. Coupled with a husband who travels for a living, birthing a third just seems like a bad idea. God has been putting fostering on my heart as well as my husbands. We will see what God has in store for us.

  79. I started tearing up reading this. I used to “know” I was supposed to have four children. My parents did, it’s the “perfect” number, and that’s how I wanted it. But God had other plans. We were blessed with our first son. We wanted the spacing to be perfect, so we waited. And then we tried again…numerous times. Our attempts ended in five miscarriages. With broken hearts and wounded souls, we gave up. Thankfully, God surprised us and blessed us with a little boy, giving us… just 2. And for years I felt like you. But the more I pondered, the more I questioned, the more I came to the realization that maybe God knows best, and maybe I wouldn’t be the mom I should be and could be to these “just 2” if I had more. God obviously knows my flaws, and my heart. So I decided to take that as it was, and do the best I possibly could with these two, precious boys. My biggest prayer, wish and desire is that these two big boys grow into the warriors for Christ’s Kingdom that He would have them to be. The pain and jealousy when others announce the joy of a pregnancy no longer comes and I am truly happy for them. I am quite content with my family of four. I pray you will find the peace your heart seeks.

  80. Thank you for writing this article. I have “just 2”. My husband and I wanted at least 6. After my 2nd c section we knew that 6 was out of the question. We had baby number 3 and were told that we can not have anymore. She died at 13 days old very suddenly 1 year ago. I have questioned God so many times why I He won’t give me more. I have realized that through loosing our baby we have become an aunt, uncle, and cousins to our friends kids. God has given me many more children to help raise and influence for his kingdom. I have become ok with my “just 2” because know I have time for the many more that call me aunty.

    1. I am sorry for your loss! I, too have had 2 c sections and wanted a large family. My pastor’s wife said her cousin had eight c sections! She didn’t even know I was hurting and she comforted me with that. Plus, I hear a Kennedy had like 13! Keep hope. Although emotionally I think another c section will just finish me, I still dream of more 🙂

  81. I commented on your facebook but then I wanted to add something more. I wanted to tell you what a blessing you have been to me. I have been doing the Matthew study with you guys. I don’t always post/like but I wanted you to know what you have had a part in changing. I am the mama of nine precious children. I have been saved for 35 of my 43 years. Yes, I accepted Christ at a very young age, but I never studied the scriptures. We went to church three times a week and on Sat. I would study my lesson for Sunday School, but that was the extent of it. When I got married I would read the Bible but then could not remember what I had read and I too easily gave up. Recently a friend recommended Kay’s book on how to study the Bible and it just felt so complicated. Then I found you. YOU! You have taught me the easiest way to study and I am remembering what I have studied and am finding joy in my reading and life. I am teaching my children what I am learning and the difference it has made in just a few short weeks. God is amazing! I am ashamed that I have nine and have not taught them as you have taught your two. This past Sunday I was reading and talking with the children about what I had learned, dear Courtney two yes TWO of my children accepted Christ as their Savior all because a lady decided to teach women, mamas how to study God’s word. Thank you precious lady(that does not seem adequate) but thank you. I pray that God gives you encouragement and opens your womb again. Many blessings!

  82. Thank you for re-posting this. I too had read this before but it wasn’t a reality in my life until now. I have really been struggling with God only giving me two and all the thoughts that go with that. Your FB post of this was God’s perfect timing for me.

  83. Please be thankful (I know you are) for the two. Some desperately want just one. Some can’t have any of their own. God always has a plan.

    1. Well said. I spent 10 years in prayer and heart break for 1.
      We were blessed with one son and probably will only be given him.
      We are thankful for one and don’t think if him as just one or apologize for only one.
      God has a plan for us all. Married,single, children or not.
      Prayers for all women searching for God’s will.

  84. I’m one of those desperately wanting one…”just” one is often my prayer. Who knows why God chooses to bless some with multiple children, and then others He blesses in different ways. I just try to remind myself (especially those days filled with heartache, tears, and anger because I don’t understand His plan)that children aren’t the only blessing God gives us in life. He loves us beyond measure, and we just have to trust in His divine wisdom. And remember, God himself only had “just” one…who undeniably affected all of mankind.

  85. I have just 3, only 3. My heart has space for 4-6 more. Sometimes my heart aches as well. My home is always full of friends, my children’s friends. Once I had 19 kids to sleep over. I was a happy mom. I teach and give my love to all my students. Two home Bible study groups and I give my love to our friends that attend them. I do not know if the Lord will ever take the ache away. When asked how many kids I have I always respond: “Only 3”. All smile. Some call me a hero here in Ukraine. But I outpour my my love to my kids, my friend’s kids and any kid I meet in the street or supermarket. The more I love, the more love grows in me. I think is like that with you….Maybe in heaven we will be foster moms?

  86. And for me, “just” one. I so longed to have a big family. I told God…”I trust you with my fertility” and I thought that meant He’d shower me with babies. What I didn’t realize is that meant I needed to trust that He might give me none, or in my case, one. My little girl is almost 4 and I can’t help sometimes but pray, “just one more God, just one more.” He knows what I need more than I do and I pray that I will find contentment with where I am. Praying for all you ladies struggling with wanting a child today. Hugs.

  87. Thank you for posting. We have “just 2” boys. Always planning to have 3 or 4 it now appears that that is not His plan for our family. My heart has been aching for more. I’ve been trying (I think on my own strength and not relying on God) to be content.

  88. Courtney, I love your heart! God had only One, and look what that One did! The other thought I had is that longing in your heart may be coming from God so that he can fill it (Psalms 37:3-5). One day, while praying, yet again, for a baby (I have never borne a child because of infertility), it suddenly occurred to me to pray THIS way, “Father, I’ll take any children You want to give me!” We ended up becoming foster parents and adopted three beautiful children who needed us. Perhaps your heart is yearning for someone God wants to send you. Either way, you ARE making a big difference in your own way and your legacy (so far) of two!

  89. I have “just 1” and long for more. While our adoption isn’t going as I planned and taking much longer than I think it should I know God has a plan. I struggle with being g content with my “just 1” and know that if I had more my special time with my 1 may not be as special. Thank you for this it helped remind me that God can use me & my “just 1”.

  90. I had no idea that moms of two kids ever felt this way. I am the mom of “just” one. There is such a stigma about having “just one,” in the United States, especially in the church arena. The Lord is my witness that my husband and I have tried repeatedly, and in various ways, to increase the size of our family; and the Lord has made it very clear that His purpose is that my one child is to be the one-and-only of our family. He is my Isaac, my Samson, my John the Baptist, and God has taught me that He can and will have just as much of an impact on and through “just one” as He does with a half dozen. God is a JUST God, and I am JUST as blessed with my JUST one as is the mom with a van full.

  91. I am sorry but that sounds so ungrateful — just 2, I only have 2. Seriously? Some people have none or have lost a child or have lost multiple pregnancies. This isn’t about you and your pride. You should thank God every day for the blessing of two children.

  92. I can empathize with you because your heart longs for more, but just two? just three? Just is such a minimizing word. Why is there so much pressure in Christian culture to have so many children? Two of us were enough for my parents. And three is enough for me. And it seems that in American christian culture there is even more pressure to have many, many children. Where is the voice that says that small families are great too? In fact, you can possibly do more for God because you may have more time than someone that has a large family.

  93. I so love the honesty of this post. I have struggled for years with secondary infertility. Our daughter is 12, incredibly loving, adores children and is so deserving of a sibling. We have tried for the past 6 years, losing 3 babies to miscarriage. I have prayed and trusted God to give us the desire of our hearts … or take away the longing. The longing never left and in January we were blessed to be pregnant with twins! We lost one 8 weeks into the pregnancy. Our family would finally be complete, with a son to join his big sister! But 4 weeks ago today, at 22 weeks, God took our son, too. We now have 4 babies in heaven and one on Earth. I am struggling to see God’s love in this …
    It stings every time someone reminds me that “He is good, all the time” and that His plan is perfect. It’s easy for people to point that out when it’s not their child that was called home. We are blessed to have our daughter … She truly is a gift. But it’s difficult to not become hardened by this.

  94. I have… just 4. Some see that as big and plenty, but my heart wasn’t ready to be ‘done.’ I’ve wrestled with God about this for the last almost 2 years – back and forth begging for the longing for more to be taken away and for the strength to be content with the family He’s given me. It’s a struggle! Thank you for sharing your heart!

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