Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage – Part 1 {& a Giveaway!}


Hello Family of Women Living Well!

Lynn Donovan

My name is Lynn Donovan and I’m joining your community this week while Courtney is vacationing. I met Courtney years ago as a sister blogger. She is the bomb! And I love her book. She and I connected a few months ago as I was reading her book and I asked her to read my recent book. We both have a heart filled with love for Jesus and for wives and moms.

So, I hope you will sit with me for a few minutes, a couple of days this week while she is away as I share a story that I pray leaves you filled with a fresh encounter with Jesus. Thank you for welcoming me to your House: Women Living Well.

My friends, my story is about a Prodigal child – me (Luke 15:11-31). I fled my childhood Sunday school days in my twenties. I left my loving Father for all the promises the world said were mine. I met my husband in these dark years and we fell in love. We were married and for the first three years everything was fine. But the world’s lure proved shallow, unkind and untrue. I heard my faithful Father calling in the distance and He wooed me.

I went running home into the arms of my Papa and was thrilled to once again have a relationship with God. But, I ran home dragging my unbelieving spouse behind me kicking and screaming all the way. To say that my husband was unhappy about this new “Man” in my life, was a serious understatement.

I am unequally yoked.

There are many women such as me who sit alone week after week in church. There are women who are married to men who say they believe and yet they are also like me, living in a spiritually mismatched marriage.

My journey has been a crazy adventure, filled with loneliness at times as my husband and I view life through two different world views. On this journey I’ve had to face fears over my children’s salvation. And attending church alone as well as wanting to be a “normal” couple and the most difficult, the rejection of my faith by my best friend on earth.

But don’t feel sad for me….  Because I serve the risen Savior and through His love and power, I have discovered that the unequally yoked can truly thrive while living with an unbeliever. We can grow in our faith, love and respect our spouse, raise our children to a vibrant faith, and walk in the Presence of the Most High.

Throughout this week I want to share what I’ve learned on this 22 year adventure. I will tell you that by the grace of God my husband is fully supportive of my ministry and he encourages me to help others who are also spiritually mismatched. I call that a “Way cool God thing.”

For today I want to leave you with a powerful scripture that changed everything about my marriage.

(Jesus) answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” (Mark 12:30,31)

When you love God, His Son and the Spirit with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength you are transformed. Your mind is transformed and then disappointment and bitterness no longer has influence in your life. You discover an unending joy bubbles out of you, flowing onto your husband and your children. This kind of love transforms a heart, heals a body, restores a marriage, and leads little ones to faith.

I had to remove my eyes and expectations from my human husband. And place all of my hopes upon Christ. When I did this our marriage moved into THRIVING. My husband found freedom to discover God in his own way without my manipulation and I found my expectations were replaced by God explanations. I was transformed by the love of God.

It’s a miracle! Woo Hoo!!!!

Tomorrow I have another passage that will Blow Your Mind. It’s a promise that an ordinary woman, an ordinary mom, CAN change the atmosphere when she walks into a room.

I love you my friends. Have a triumphant day in His Presence. Remember:

A man can ignore a nagging wife, but he can't ignore the truth of a transformed life.

With love and affection, Hugs, Lynn

Jesus. Let Your Holy Presence reign in this House. Today I ask for a powerful anointing to fill each heart, each soul. Let Your Holy Word go out and change the world through ordinary women. Lord, let us be carriers of your love. Let us walk into our homes and because we are anointed with your Holy Spirit, we change the atmosphere. Let love flood our kitchens. Let our grace and goodness pour over our children in such a tangible way that they see Your eyes. This week Jesus there are many who will come to this house to read. Place upon them wisdom, healing, a fresh anointing of hope. Lord, let us be the ordinary women who bring faith, hope and love to our homes, our communities and to a world that is desperately in need of a Savior. In Your powerful name, Jesus. Amen.

CONVERSATION: Today, if you are unequally yoked or you know someone who is unequally yoked, leave me a quick comment and I will pray for you.

Also, enter to win a copy of my book, Winning Him Without Words below:

winning him

a Rafflecopter giveaway



    1. Thank you Georgia for helping us spread the word about this series! There are so many women who feel alone in this situation. We want them to know – they are Not Alone.

      Thanks again and lots of Love,

  1. Thank you so much for this today! I, too, am in a spiritual unequal marriage. This has been on my heart and mind constantly, especially the past couple of months. I can’t wait to read the other posts in this series and your book.
    Thank you, again!

  2. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 11 years. I was raised Christian, but fully surrendered in 2009. We are unequally yoked, but I’m completely in love with him. He’s my best friend can’t wait to get your book. Thank you for sharing your story! 🙂

    1. Vanessa,

      My friend I would love to hear from you after you read our book. Please email me and let me know your thoughts. Love and hugs, Lynn

    2. Vanessa, I have been with my boyfriend almost 8 years on the 29th of June, and I also was raised Christian, but I did not fully surrender my life to Him until 2011. We also are unequally yoked, and I also am in love with him. He also is my best friend. Thank you Lynn for sharing your story because many times my dad has told me to leave my boyfriend because he is not saved, and I feel that God has me in this relationship for a reason.

  3. I met my unbelieving husband while I was living a life apart from God but He used our relationship and the baby girl we had to bring me home to Him. My relationship with my Father has flourished in the last four years that Ian and I have been together, I feel closer to Him than ever before. For so long I have felt alone but I am blessed with knowing more and more women who are in the same situation! It brings me so much hope and I know God has the power and the heart to use us in revealing His love for our men. Thankyou for sharing your beautiful story. It is the little things my husband accepts and encourages in my spiritual journey that assures me God is planting seeds in him! Bring on the miracle of salvation!!

    1. My sweet sister in Christ,

      As I read your words here, my heart soars because the love you have for Christ shines and brings great glory.

      Jesus I ask that you would bring to bear full salvation for Ilana’s husband. Let her love shine heart that he becomes completely consumed by You.

      I love you my friend.

  4. My story is very similar to yours. My husband says he is a Christian but there is little fruit of it. He is most definitely not the spiritual leader of our home. And I have not been the shining example of Christ I should have been over the last 15 years. He attends church with me and does not belittle me in any way. We are just not on the same page spiritually nor do we have the Christian home for our children I wish we did. Please pray for him and for me!

    1. I feel like I am reading my story. Fourteen years after having a heart to heart with God, i finally asked Him what is it that he wanted me to do ….he said, “back off” and just pray for him” !
      I have been discouraged more lately because I feel we are still in the same place after all these years. i am glad i came across this site.

    2. Tracy,

      Yes, it’s like we have lived through a lot of the same things. I know how your heart hurts how you would like to have husband is on fire for Christ. I hold you in my heart.

      Holy Father, I ask that you would flood this home with your presence and your love. Fill up Tracy with and ending and supernatural grace, mercy, perseverance, and love. In Jesus name I ask. Amen

    3. Tracy thanks for sharing- my situation exactly. Sometimes I think it is even more of a challenge to have a “believing” husband who does not act on it or participate in Christian life. He already knows his need and knows The Way; however, his lack of initiative or interest have been disheartening. I feel like I am an inadequate spiritual leader in our home and have been less than the best example of a Christian at times myself. I would love to be real partners in Christ. Instead of continuing to lament this situation or use it as an excuse, I want to learn to move forward and grow myself regardless of this mis-match of faith.

      1. Joy I totally hear you. While I am not married yet, I feel like I have felt excruciating pain in my current relationship. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 1.5 yrs and while he doesn’t belittle me and even prays with me every night and occasionally we have bible study, I have still been battling with whether to let him go. I am heavily involved in ministry at my home church and really envisioned that my “future husband” would be delighted to serve God with me or be excited to talk more about God and really grow deeper in love with Him. But since we started dating I have felt like my boyfriend is sort of not desiring more for his relationship with God and is more surface and comfortable with just what is good enough and yet Iam looking forward for more. This means that him leading us even in this dating period has been difficult. And then this issue has become so sticky for us to the point that any topic with God in it these days brings tension.We have gone back and forth and it’s so painful I just don’t know what to do. Do you think I should let it go? Yes he is a great guy and I think because he is good I have seen fruit in his life but it might just be because he is morally upright. It’s really confusing and Iam not sure what to do as I also don’t want to lose him.

    1. Penny, amen amen. You are among a great crowd of witnesses that is walking an unusual road. Glad you found us. I the Lord bless you and keep you. In Jesus name, amen

  5. I so needed to read this. I left my wonderful church because of hurt feelings in my early 20’s. I now realize I was being inmature. Since I left I’ve fallen in love with an unbeliever. Our wedding is in October. I’ve recently started going to church again but it’s not the same. This is a tough subject. Please pray for me and my marriage.

    1. Ashley, I encourage you to seek christian counseling from your Pastor before you get married. This could save you a lot of heartache down the road. I will pray for your fiancé that he will come to know the Savior.

    2. Ashley, my sweet friend. It is a very difficult road that we walk, the unequally yoked.

      I invite you to join us on our website and get your hands on a copy of our book because I think it would help you very much. We love you and we will walk through this with you. But I also agree that finding out now the great challenges that you face will help you move forward in your life.

      I love you my friend. Love, Lynn

      1. Lynn,
        Thank you for replying to me! I’m planning on purchasing your book this week. I will be joining your website as well to get as much support as I can.
        It is a tough road…being unequally yoked. I guess I didn’t realize how tough until I was in this situation. Thank you so much for your support. I so needed to read that this morning.


    1. There are actually many of us who are unequally yoked. And we can thrive. I hope you can find us on our website and be encouraged. Love, Lynn

  6. I have been married to a wonderful man for almost 18 years and we have 2 terrific sons. My husband will tell you he is a Christian. He takes our family to church every week, supports involvement in church ministry, sings in the choir, and prays at meals. But when I am honest, I see no personal fruit of the Spirit in his life. He has no desire to lead our family spiritually and spends no time with Jesus or in His Word during the week. A few years ago I felt God calling me to take it to the next level with Him. My husband is fine with me digging deeper into the Word and wanting to be more intimate with Jesus but he doesn’t want to hear about it and has no interest himself. Not sure if this makes me officially unequally yoked but most days I feel like I am.

      1. I ask for a fresh anointing in this home, Lord Jesus. I ask for you to move in these men’s hearts and we turn them to you with fervor. In Jesus name amen

    1. This comforts me, as this is my husband to a T!!! When I try to seek one believes me, because of course they “see” different! I have learned to pray and pray…and pray!!!

    2. Becki,

      This is especially heartbreaking to read your comment. As I know there are many, many women who are walking your very journey. What I would tell you is that you continue to press into Jesus. Stay in his word. Pray without ceasing for your husband’s faith walk. Over the many years of being unequally yoked I have discovered that God is absolutely faithful to our earnest and heart filled prayers. In the meantime don’t let sadness over take you. Ask Jesus to make you fountain of joy in your home. You become irresistible to your family because you carry the love of Christ.

    3. Oh my! This is exactly like my husband… except he doesn’t really want to attend church because it is “too early.” If I can get him out of bed he sits there willingly enough, but half asleep and not truly hearing anything. I think this book is just what I need! Thank you.

  7. Thank you so much for this. I share a similar story as yours and you are ao encouraging to me! Praise The Lord for you and your willingness to be vulnerable and share these encouraging words!

    1. Hi Shelly,

      May the Lord anoint your home with such a powerful presence that full salvation comes to everyone under your roof. In Jesus name. Amen

  8. I thought my hubby was a Christian when I married him, but I later found out he isn’t. We’ve been married for 12 1/2 years.

    1. Dear Ruthie,,

      It’s heartbreaking to be in this place. I know the loneliness and the disappointment that you could feel.

      Lord Jesus lifting Ruth up. Fill her with a joy that is supernatural. Give her hope let her voice be your voice. And may her husband come to full salvation. In Jesus name. Amen

  9. Oh, how this has been weighing on my heart lately. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and he used to go to church with me all the time. In the last couple years, it just hasn’t been a priority for him. Now that we have little kiddos, I am desperately hoping he will come back to church and embrace the role of spiritual leader in our family.

    1. Hi Sarah,

      I will be writing a little bit about spiritual leadership later in the week. I hope you will be encouraged.

      Jesus, reached down into Sarah’s heart. Place in her a new hope and a new commitment to pray for her husband, all aspects of his life. In your precious name, Jesus. Amen

  10. It is comforting to know I am not alone. My story is similar. I too met my husband during the time I was pursuing the world and not putting my Heavenly Father first. I pray all of us can learn how to heal our marriages. I pray I can learn to love and forgive despite our spiritual differences. I pray I can let God do his job and stay on my side of the street, honoring god and giving him glory. Blessings……

    1. Jody, you have such a good heart. God honors those kinds of prayers.

      Jesus move in the heart of Jody’s husband. Bring him to full salvation let him lead out the rest of his life’s family in faith. In Jesus name. Amen

  11. I have been married for almost 30 years. After one year of marriage my husband stopped going to church and carries around a lot of hurt and bitterness towards our old church. I have sat in the pew feeling lonely and different from the other couples around me. I long to have my husband next to me with his arm around me. Praise God both of our adult daughters accepted Christ when they were young and are serving Him. Please pray for my husband. Thank you for your ministry.

    1. Lord Jesus,

      I’m deeply moved to pray for Angie’s husband. I ask for his full salvation. In Jesus name Lord, I also ask for Angie to fill her with a fresh hope, a supernatural perseverance, and love. In Jesus name. Amen

  12. I too so needed this study. I am unequally yoked, I am a Christian and my husband is not. I too sit in my seat week after week wishing he would start coming with me. I keep praying for him and always asking him to go with me. I hope one day he will say yes. At first he was also mad at me I didn’t under stand why, then I read in Beth Moore’s book that they look at it like we left them and they don’t understand why we felt the need for a change. I will always pray for him.. My dream is to fill the pew with my whole family. Thank you for this little study it does help to know I am not alone. I know he sees a difference in me, when someone needs prayer he will come to me and ask me to put them on our prayer chain. I think this is a start.

    1. What Beth Moore book was that? I see how that could explain why over the years every single time I start to get closer to God my marriage gets worse. My husband has always maintained he is a Christian and does go to church more that half the time, but I don’t see his interest other times. It’s very hard because feeling I am married to a Christian we should be able to talk about it but we don’t because it just turns to a fight.

    2. Hi Cynthia,

      Girl, I know exactly where you live. And it is, indeed, a difficult place. But let me be the voice that encourages you. You can do this unusual journey And you can do it well. Very well. I hope you will join us at our website. There are many resources there to offer you hope. I hope you can get your hands on our book because I know it would greatly encourage you.

      Lord Jesus I place an anointing on Cynthia at this moment. This is a turning point in her marriage and in her heart. That she releases her husband’s salvation completely to you and trust in your timing. Give her peace fill her heart with joy surround her with many believing friends. In Jesus name. Amen

    1. Oh Lord Jesus oh Lord Jesus, I ask for the full salvation of this woman’s husband. You know her struggle. You know her heart and I ask you to stand with her as she prayes for her marriage and her husband. I stand with her as well. Bring full salvation to this home. In Jesus name. Amen

  13. Thank you for this ministry. My husband believes in God, but he does not actively practice his faith. He goes through the motions, and most Sundays my daughter and I go to church alone. I appreciate your prayers for our family. I just purchased your book.

    1. Hi Sarah,

      My friend you have many who will walk this journey with you. And your faithfulness to raise your daughter is not unnoticed by our great God. He delights in you.

      I’m so glad you will be able to read our book. I pray that you see Jesus on every page. And by the time you get to the end, your heart, your home, your marriage, and your husband is renewed and saved. In Jesus name. Amen

  14. We are unequally yolked, and I have virtually no relationship with The Lord. I am broken, alone, empty, and have realized that its not worth it. I leave no legacy. My existence doesn’t even matter. I’m done.

    1. Calley, I don’t know where you stand with Jesus Christ but if you are feeling broken, alone, empty and done, you are NOT in a healthy relationship with Him. You are in sin. Yes, that sounds mean but that is why you feel that way. Sin separates us from the holy God. It’s not okay to keep going on sinning–it will lead to physical death and, if you have not repented and confessed your sinful state, if you have not been given a new heart and been regenerated out of death and into life through Jesus, you will die a spiritual death too. You need to confess your sin and examine your heart in comparison to what God says in His Word. Not what any person says, what God says straight from His Word to you. I hate to hear that you are unequally yoked–I was in that bondage for 9 years, I know what it is like. But only with a repentant, new heart and full submission to God will He be able to work in your life and that of your spouse. The only solutions you have in this situation come from God and they may not be easy ones. This may sound really harsh but you are clearly hurt by sin in your life and you don’t need a pat on the back, you need the encouragement to do the things that will bring your life into submission to the only One who can solve your problems. I would love to talk to you more if you need someone and I can share all sorts of scriptures with you. I would highly recommend you reading through the book of Ephesians. And I will pray for you today as well. 🙂

    2. Calley,

      I’m deeply moved by your words here today. I want to pray for you and to release upon you a fresh hope and an anointing of the Holy Spirit.

      Lord Jesus this week young wife has listen to the lies of the enemy. And as of right now this hour, I silenced the enemy that has told her everything that is against what you say, and who you say Calley is in Christ. I ask you right now Lord to release into her a fresh hope, and anointing of the Holy Spirit that will bring wisdom, grace, peace, and supernatural love into her home and marriage.

      I stand with her along with all these others and your son, Jesus. We ask for full healing of her heart, her home and her marriage. We ask for the complete salvation of her husband. In Jesus name. Amen

  15. I have been asking myself this exact question for several years. My husband has been struggling with his own faith journey, probably since I have known him, but most noticably for the past 1 1/2-2 years. He went from Christian beliefs to rejecting that God even exists. I am thankful that currently he acknowledges that there is a “higher being” however he is reluctant to define or name it. It really drives a wedge in our relationship, one that I have a difficult time not resenting. I have been blessed to have a wonderful prayer support system and have been learning to let go of that resentment and enjoy my relationship with my husband for what it is. I have been blessed with a husband who does give of his time, talents and efforts. I have been blessed with a husband who is loving.
    I am thankful there are other women dealing with the same issues who are willing to share.

    1. Hello LeAnne,

      I can just feel your heartbreak in the words you wrote here. I’m so sorry. It’s a very difficult place to go backward in your marriage and in faith.

      Lord, I’m just impressed to release upon LeAnne a word of hope. That you have not left her. You will not fail her. And that you will reach her husband. I ask that you would move in her husband’s heart and bring about his full salvation. I ask that you would empower LeAnne to stand strong in her marriage. Fill her heart with love and delight her every day as she waits for husband to come to faith. In Jesus name, undo. Amen

    1. Jesus, I ask you to touch this sweet heart of K. Give her courage, wisdom and grace to walk this difficult path. Bring a complete salvation to this home. In Your Powerful name, Jesus. Amen

  16. I too met and married my husband while not in close fellowship with the Lord. He said he was a Christian and I believed him. However there is no evidence of growth or fruit in his life and he is drawing more and more into the world. As a long-haul truckdriver, his time in church is very sporadic and does not lend itself to good Christian fellowship. Please pray that God will get a hold of his heart and work a miracle in his life.

    1. Hi Kim,

      Your heart for your husband is so pleasing to the Lord. Don’t stop contending for him.

      Jesus, this man has many hours to ponder you. I ask that every hour you set before him a glimpse of you. Stir in his heart a curiosity and a desire to get his faith life straight with you. In Jesus name. Amen.

  17. I am a newly married wife and God called me back to Him a year ago (praise the Lord!) – I truly relate to your story of being unequally yoked for a time and am currently struggling with loneliness, frustration, tears, yet amazing sanctification. I have no doubt that God is working in my husband’s life and in our marriage. I believe!! Thank you for this series, I am looking forward to hearing God through you these next few weeks.

    1. Hi Denise,

      Friend I pray you were overwhelmed this year with God’s love. I pray that you will find great encouragement and love from the believers here and that spiritually unequal I have felt every one of these emotions you described. It is a crazy journey, but it’s an amazing journey too. Jesus meets is right where we need Him.

      Praying for your husband that he may come to a faith in Jesus and it’s by his name, Jesus, that I pray. Amen

  18. I am married to a non believer. We’ve been separated for going on 4 years now. I have come very close twice to filing for a divorce but during these last four years have gotten closer to my Heavenly Father and as a result feel like out of everyone he knows (friends and family) I am the one who will be able to show him God’s love. Everyday is a struggle for me bc we are living apart and I wonder wether or not what I’m doing is right. I know God is in control though!

    1. My sweet Abby,

      I am praying for a full restoration of your marriage and everything that the enemy has stolen from you, in Jesus name. I’m asking for wisdom, perseverance, and God’s holy Presence around you every single day. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

  19. I was raised in a Christian home and lived a luke warm Christian life for many years. During this time I met and married my husband who believes there is a God but does not practice any kind of faith. I am excited and thankful for this series as it has been a lonely and difficult time as I am falling back at Gods feet without my husband beside me.

    1. Hi Lindsey,

      My friend I know exactly how you feel in the struggle of the loneliness that you have had to face in your faith walk. You are no longer alone my friend. Jesus is right there with you. And so am I.

      Jesus move in a mighty way in Lindsey’s life bring about her husband’s full salvation and a vibrant faith. In Jesus name. Amen

  20. I can relate to this! I would love to win a copy. I know it would bless a friend of mine as well.

    Thank you for sharing this story!

  21. Hello Lynn,

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I was raised in a Christian home and had drifted from God but managed to find my way back to him day by day. I’m in a relationship with a man who believes in God but has a very luke-warm Christian relationship with him. Sometimes, I think it’s non-existent. This really gave me hope that when we marry, our children will still want to have a closer relationship with God and that as a woman, I have the power and influence through Christ to steer them in the right direction.
    It is very hard having a relationship with Christ and not being able to share that with my partner or thinking he won’t understand.

    Thank you for your message and I look forward to the rest of the week with you 🙂

    1. Hi my friend,

      You are indeed in a difficult place. I would encourage you to fast and pray to gain full perspective of your relationship from God’s view. Walking in a marriage that is unequally yoked is more difficult than you know. Marriage is challenging in any scenario, but it is compounded greatly when you have two people who have divergent worldviews.

      I am not a voice of judgment of condemnation. I only share a true challenges that you will face in a marriage to an unbeliever. And for those of us who are married to an unbeliever I offer up hope for those who are committed to our marriage.

      I love you. Jesus loves you. And I I will pray that God overwhelmed you with his love and reveals to you all the plan he has for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you and to give you a hope and a future. In Jesus name. Amen

  22. I am spiritually mismatched with my husband. My husband is a Christian but is not the spiritual leader of our home And does not actively pursue his faith. I often feel lonely, discouraged as I pursue my faith without my husband by my side. I feel the pressure of having to raise my children to know and love God by myself.

    1. Christina,

      I so want to wrap my arms around you and encourage you. As a woman who has raised children all by myself to faith. I want to tell you that you can do it. And do it well. I know I will be writing about this later in the week I hope you have a chance to read it. Please know that I’m surrounding you with my love. In the love of Christ fill you with great hope for your family today. In Jesus name. Amen

  23. Thank you so much for this series. When God told me that I would marry my Husband, I wondered how it would work. I am a daughter of Christ and he wasn’t. It has been nearly 5 years and we get stronger daily. I have found that keeping my faith in God and praying for my husband has been the only way for this to continue. At a snails pace my husband is coming around, but I don’t worry as I trust God’s timing and plan. This is icing icing on the cake. I am sharing this on my blog so that others can benefit from this series as well. Thank you again. Keep walking by faith, Jen

    1. Hi Jim,

      This is awesome I hope to stop by soon and read your writing and your story. And you’re right, it is our consistent prayers and I love from Jesus that we can walk in this journey with triumph. Love you girl. Hugs, Lynn

    1. Hi Amy,

      Girl I’m glad you found others who can walk this journey with you. We will surround you with love. Share hope, and our wisdom and flood your life with prayers. You’re not alone.

      Praying for the full salvation of your home. In Jesus name. Amen

    1. Hi Lynn,

      I’m honored to pray for your family.
      Lord Jesus, I lift up Lynn and her family before your throne, the mercy seat of God. I ask that you would bring about all of your love, hope, and power to bring Lynn’s home to full salvation in Jesus Christ. In Jesus name. Amen

  24. Thank you! Please pray for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law who are unequally yoked and after 17 years of marriage, it’s taking its toll on both of them.

    1. Hi Anita,

      In the name of Jesus I hold up this marriage before you. I ask that you would move in the lives of this family and bring about full salvation in this house. In Jesus name. Amen.

      Don’t stop praying for them Anita. Love you my friend. Hugs, Lynn

  25. Yes I am in an unequally yoked marriage. I fear for my kids salvation and need more resources.
    Thank you for its series & praying for me.

    1. Hi Lisa,

      The timing of this post is very touching to my heart. For I know the fears that you face I have face them too. Jesus is answering your prayers and he will surround you with believers who can walk this journey with you and encourage you as you raise your children to faith. I hope to see you on our blog.

      Lord Jesus, I lift up the children of Lisa. I ask that you see them and set into order their full salvation. In Jesus name. Amen

  26. I, too, am unequally yoked. Have been for 16 years. It was a bit hard at first but with God’s help I am able to cope. And, He has given me a husband who is supportive of our (me and my children) faith. All that I can do is just hope and trust God. Thank you for your story. It’s not very often do I hear stories of women, and men, who are unequally yoked. God bless.

    1. God bless you too Michelle. Thank you for your encouragement. Stay the course. It’s in the journey that we see the miracles. And it’s a fantastic journey with Christ. Love you, Lynn

  27. Thank you so much for this! I ran across it on Pinterest and it spoke to my heart! I can’t wait for the rest of the series! 🙂

    1. Hi Jada,

      My friend I pray your greatly encouraged by the Lord and that your house comes to full salvation in Jesus. I’m praying this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen

  28. I came to Christ after we married but have struggled to build a deeper relationship with God and share it with our kids and my husband. I didnt have an example of this growing up. My husband believes in God and that church is a community of people to support each other but not one he needs.

      1. Hi Kristin,

        My friend, we welcome you with open arms. We will pray for you, share our hopes, our struggles, and her victories. Take heart Jesus stands at the door knocks and I am asking him for the full salvation of your home. In Jesus name. Amen

  29. My husband of 17 years and father of my three children is a wonderfully caring man. He attends church with me much of the time; however, he was raised as and still considers himself to be a Mormon. I pray for him all the time, mostly because it’s difficult to have your husband be a spiritual leader when you feel his beliefs are erroneous. He’s a very intelligent, loyal, patient man. Pray that God would change me so much that my husband would be won without words. (I find the Holy Spirit has me say little to nothing to my husband about his beliefs. It is the Spirit’s job to win him at just the right time.)

    Thank you for sharing!

    1. Hi Carol Anne,

      So great to meet you. And it sounds like you’re on the right track. I tried for years to convict my husband. But you’re right, it’s the Holy Spirit’s job, not ours. So very wise. Stay the course and never stop praying. I’m contending with you for the salvation of your husband. In Jesus name. Amen

  30. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that you shared this. I’m currently dating someone who I truly believe is the one but he does not share in the faith and that has always worried me. What about the children…what about me? I’ve begun to put it in God’s hands but it’s still on my mind. Reading this has truly helped me. I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks again!

    1. Hi Theresa S. I’m going to share with you what I shared with another reader in your season of life.

      Hi my friend,

      You are indeed in a difficult place. I would encourage you to fast and pray to gain full perspective of your relationship from God’s view. Walking in a marriage that is unequally yoked is more difficult than you know. Marriage is challenging in any scenario, but it is compounded greatly when you have two people who have divergent worldviews.

      I am not a voice of judgment of condemnation. I only share a true challenges that you will face in a marriage to an unbeliever. And for those of us who are married to an unbeliever I offer up hope for those who are committed to our marriage.

      I love you. Jesus loves you. And I I will pray that God overwhelmed you with his love and reveals to you all the plan he has for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you and to give you a hope and a future. In Jesus name. Amen

  31. My husband is a believer, but I never see him read scripture and rarely prays at home. We have different views on music, movies, and video games. We both need more passion in our heart for the Lord. We are members of a church, but have not been in a few months. I decided yesterday I was going to go and asked a girlfriend if I could ride with her to her church since I didn’t think I’d have time to get ready and make it to ours. My husband and little boy stayed home. My husband wasn’t happy we didn’t go as a family, but all we’ve done for months is oversleep and stay home and watch our previous pastor on tv. It was discouraging to hear the opposition when I was just trying to take a step of obedience to go worship. I pray the Lord will revive us both and also draw our 4 year old boy. He was once so happy to go to church and was also more obedient and respectful.

    1. Oh Amanda,

      My heart breaks at your situation. I want to greatly encourage you to get up every Sunday morning, get your little boy ready for church and then you both go. It may be your very example to your husband that will inspire him to return to church. Staying God’s word every morning let your husband and your son find you reading God’s word. It’s a powerful the quiet witness. That’s what first Peter three is all about. Pray you have the courage of Joshua to rise up and quietly lead your family to an amazing faith life. Love and hugs, Lynn

  32. Thank you for this encouragement! I wouldn’t really call my marriage an unequally yoked one, but somehow mismatched anyway. We are both Christians but my husband doesn’t like the church I’m attending, so I go alone. We never pray or read the Bible together and I feel like I can’t share my faith with him. I’m really waiting for tomorrow’s post!

    1. Hello Hanna,

      My sweet sister in Christ, you continue to press into Jesus. Read his word. Go to church and pray without ceasing for your husband’s salvation. Jesus is faithful. And you will be astonished at the amazing faith journey He takes you on while you wait for his salvation.

      Praying for the salvation of your husband. In Jesus name. Amen

  33. My husband claims to be a believer, however I have my doubts since he walked out of our marriage in mid October, leaving behind our now 18 month old son. The blessing of this situation is it has brought me closer to God. I continue to pray each and everyday for my husband. Some days I feel like it is hopeless because he now has a girlfriend, but I’m standing firm in my faith and growing my relationship with God as I pray the Holy Spirit will touch my husband’s soul.

    1. Sondra,

      I’m heartbroken for you and your son. I’m also praying now in Jesus name for the redemption of all that has been stolen from you and for the full salvation of your husband. I ask God to comfort and lead you and be your husband in this difficult time. In Jesus name. Amen.

  34. I was so thrilled when I heard that you were doing this series. Thank you for doing this! I’m sure many women will find this series helpful! I just finished reading Winning Him Without Words. Very practical and helpful. I love the index of scriptures at the end. I’m planning on getting Not Alone soon. I just need to finish another book.

    1. I heart you Marie… Your words are a gift to my soul. Praying you are overwhelmed by the Father’s love this day. Hugs, Lynn

  35. Please pray for us as we will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary this summer. I finally understand that my husband is not a true believer. We are unequally yoked. It’s not been easy, just as every marriage.

    1. RC, In Jesus name let’s ask that upon this 25th wedding anniversary, your husband is set on fire for Jesus. Praying you are filled with hope and see the Lord in all the small ways each day. In Jesus name. Amen

  36. Hello Lynn, and Courtney,

    thanks for being here this week. I first heard your story on Family Life (guess it was 2012). I ordered your books. Hopefully they will get here soon. Being a flemish christian, it is not always possible to get the books I want. My husband is a non believer, but supports me in all I do. I can pass along my faith to my 2 lovely girls. I have already shared on many occasions, that it is hard because I have no community of christian women. I have to be very consistent and read my bible daily. Thankfully, the internet exists, but it is not the same.
    So again, thank you for being here with us.

    As always: many blessings

    from Abby from Belgium

    1. Oh Abby,

      As I read this my head was flooded with several thoughts. First, I would love to meet you. I bet your challenging faith journey could teach me a lot. Walking this alone without support is very, very hard. That is how I felt for many years. I’m so thankful for the internet because you truly can find a community such as this to walk with you.

      Thank you for finding our books worthy. Sending love waaaaay over to you from California. Hugs, Lynn

  37. Thanks for this, and looking forward to your next posts. I have been married for nine years, and have been blessed with three incredible children. My husband is wonderful, and has started attending church with me, supports us saying grace as a family, and is incredibly supportive. Still, I know our home is not the Christ centred home I grew up in. I worry for my children, and question whether I can instil a fear of god the way my parents did in me. Please pray for us, but I remain grateful, and I rejoice for the lovely man God has placed in my life!

    1. P,

      You are enough to teach your little ones about the love of Jesus. You are empowered by the Holy Spirit and Jesus adores your children. The best thing you can do to bring faith to your family is to love Jesus with passion. That kind of love is the best witness to a watching husband, kids and world. Praying for your home and children. In Jesus name. Amen.

  38. I’m one of those wives that lives “unequal” with a dear husband who is trying to find his spritual footing. My children are starting to show signs from the division between us spiritually and I desirately am trying to “show” him how we are called to live instead of telling him…thank you for the encouragement.

    1. His Child,

      I read this and it’s as if I hear the Lord saying you will rise up… You are enough and as you press more into the love of Christ, it’s impacting your family….. Neat.

      Praying you are overwhelmed by His Presence this hour. In Jesus name. Hugs, Lynn

  39. Thank you for what you are doing 🙂 my story is very similar to yours. I am believing that one day I won’t be taking our daughter to church alone, that we will instead be serving the community together as a family and that we will make praying together a priority as husband and wife 🙂 God is able!

    1. Ashley,

      I SHOUT WITH YOU ….. GOD IS ABLE!! My friend, indeed. I also claim this for my family as well.

      Praying for an astonishing journey as you watch God pursue your husband. Hugs. Lynn

  40. Lynn~

    Thank you for your ministry. Your story could have been my own and it’s wonderful to know there are women out there who thrive while unevenly yoked.


    1. Ellen,

      Kindred hearts, my friend. I know how you feel. Deu: 31:6 So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

      You are a woman who God sees as strong. I will stand with you for the full salvation of your entire home. In Jesus name. Amen.

  41. Wow, that post could have been written by me. We just had our 20th anniversary and my husband still continues to not believe. At times it’s painful and a bit lonely but even though he doesn’t believe and he’s not always as supportive as I may wish, he’s never stopped me from going to church (and in fact, I even work there as well) or taking our daughters. I learned a long time ago that his unbelief is something I had to turn over to God. I can’t be responsible for his actions or happiness but I can just do my best to live as God wants me to live, lead by example, and be thankful that he may not be open to a relationship with God but that he doesn’t stand in the way of me or our daughters having one.

    1. Colleen:

      Girlfriend….. You’ve got this. When we get to heaven, I want to spend a lot of time with you, let’s compare notes *grin*. Adore you. You are a living legacy maker. The Lord smiles upon you and has many good things for you now and in the next.

      Praying that your husband meets Jesus in the most miraculous way. Hugs, Lynn

  42. THANK YOU SO much for doing this series!! In the past I have felt SO alone Sunday after Sunday….it has taken me years to understand that God is control of the relationship between He and my husband. I have had so many beautiful moments as I have seen my husband’s faith grow and change baby step by baby step….once I came to grips that my disappointment only comes when I want things on my time rather than trusting in God’s perfect time I was able to finally hand my husband over to our Lord. Don’t get me wrong….there are some Sundays where I still long for him to walk in and come sit beside me….but two people sitting beside each other Sunday after Sunday doesn’t mean they have a spiritually balanced marriage either….I love how God continues to remind me and encourage me that by loving Him with ALL MY HEART I will show others how to do it. This blog is NO different….God continues to help me every, single day in accepting that I must let my husband walk his road with God himself…we WILL meet up….in God’s time.

    1. WOW Darby:

      ……I love how God continues to remind me and encourage me that by loving Him with ALL MY HEART I will show others how to do it.

      SO POWERFUL….. My friend, I wish we could meet for coffee. We would talk for hours. Love you… Keep walkin’ it out. You’ve got this. Hugs, Lynn

      Praying for the full salvation of your man. In Jesus name. Amen.

  43. this is encouraging. Your story kind of resembles mine a little. I left the church because the Pastor was having an affair. If that was Christianity I didn’t want it. So I left at the age of 15 and starting working every Sunday to get out of going. That lead me down a road of running away with the carnival and my life got ugly til I got pregnant and my boss kept telling me this baby would save my life and it was a blessing. He kept telling me God gave me this baby. I ignored him for a while. Then I met my future hubby out there on the road. Who knew no church really except on occasions like me. Then I got pregnant again out of wed lock and I knew something had to change. I wouldn’t marrying him just because I was pregnant. I have seen to many marriages not work and I refused to be a statistic. After five years together I finally said yes. Then God tugged at my heart and called me back to church. That was almost 10 years ago. I love my new church family. Awesome bunch. I got lucky. A few of my pregnancies I laded on bed rest and they came beside me to help. never saw that before. I lost my dad two years ago and the church is what saved my life. I went into a deep depression. They prayed for me. God tugged at my heart to just listen. Now I am on a journey where I was a real, lasting relationship with Him. I want to totally surrender everything. My husband isn’t there yet. He is a Sunday only Christian. Needless to say we are mismatched and it causes hang ups in our marriage. I grew up in a divorced home so I am not sure how to handle this. Even if I don’t win the book. I sit want to buy it. Where can I buy it? I think it just maybe the answer to what I have been asking God for. How do I keep on my walk without stepping on his headship? Thanks I can’t wait to see what blog is next.

    1. Amy,

      As I read this it just shines off the page. The healing and the faithfulness of God in your life. What a beautiful testimony… Hope you found the post for today as we talk about leadership.

      I love you my sister in Christ. Praying you are overwhelmed by His Presence this very hour. In Jesus name. .Amen.

  44. Thank you so much for this encouragement. My story is much like yours–I met my husband in my dark years & we fell in love. We have been married 5 years & have 2 beautiful kids. He wasn’t raised in church like I was so it is hard for him as an adult to understand & fully trust God. I’m thankful that he willing goes to church with us most Sundays. Excited to see what else you have to share this week. Thank you!!!

  45. I am so excited about this book. I too started off just like Lynn and find myself in an unyolked marriage that has been difficult beyond what I ever imagined. We have two beautiful children and I am one of the only ones in my church that is in this awkward situation. I feel as though sometimes I am the only one and it is so hard to stay focused on God when you walk into a home that is sometimes very aggressive to you and your beliefs. I face a spiritual battle daily in our home but I remind myself that I am Israel amongst Babylon. I think this book will be very uplifting and helpful to me.

    1. Katie,

      It’s true that we travel a road less traveled and are often on the front line in the spiritual battles. Girl, I know exactly how you feel. Please know you have others to surround you and how are living what you are living. Together, we will defeat the enemy and live in triumph and the blessings of Christ.

      Love you my friend. Praying for the full salvation of your home. In Jesus name. Amen.

  46. Goodness there are a lot of us unequally yolked women! I love my husband with my whole heart, but can’t force him to love God. I can live a Jesus inspired life though, because there’s no better witness than one that isn’t trying to be. I have to keep telling myself that too. I also have to remind my husband that he’s insulting me when he insults Christians. He swears he isn’t, but he is. It’s difficult, but God knows what He’s doing. My problem is I’m SOOOO human.

    1. Jenn,

      Girl, I know where you live. So know this too. Press into our Jesus and let’s together release angels to surround your man and we declare that one day he will be a loud voice for the truth of Christ. In Jesus name. Amen

  47. I enjoyed reading about a part of your life that I too am living. I’ve been married 26 1/2 years to my unsaved husband whom I met when I wasn’t following Christ the way I should have been. It’s a tough road but God is faithful when we really look to Him to fulfill our life expectations. Each day is a battle (as my husband also suffers with alcohol addiction) but I put myself in God’s hands daily. I work in a church and I see these types of relationships far too much. I’m so blessed that God uses me to counsel other women who are going through the same thing. I think the hardest part for me is watching my 4 children stray from their Biblical upbringing (I’ve always had them involved in church) but again, this is something I leave in God’s hands moment by moment. I’m looking forward to reading your book. Thanks for your ministry…it’s so important.

    1. Hi Lisa,

      My friend, you are long and battle weary. You are right way too many of us in this trench. Also, there are so many women who are contending against alcohol addictions as well. I can bet your are a prayer warrior.

      I want to encourage you with this verse for your children. The key is the word old….. they may be 84 but that’s okay. You keep praying for them and never stop. I was a prodigal and I’m convinced the prayers of my mother were key to my return to faith.

      Prov 22:6

      Train up a child in the way he should go,
      And when he is old he will not depart from it.

  48. I don’t normally comment on these posts, but I felt like I needed to today. I have been married only 3 years, and while I was raised in church I only recently (less than a year ago) started going regularly again. My husband claims to be a Christian. He doesn’t go to church because he works mornings, but he refuses to go any other time when he isn’t working. Or go to any of my Sunday school fellowship outings we have (which means I miss most of them too). I love my husband but I pray that he truly knows Christ and isn’t just saying that he does so that I will leave him alone about it.
    Thank you for this series, I’m looking forward to reading more!

    1. Becca,

      Your challenge is in some way more difficult than mine. You married expecting a two believer family and have actually found something else. My sister, press into Christ and ask Him to surround your husband in the workplace with believing men.

      Praying for his salvation. In Jesus name. Amen.

  49. Hey
    This really spoke to me. Me and my husbnd are in our twenties and i found God fours years and has grown in God in such a deeper level. Me and my husband goy married young and have fours kids and well he does believe in God but doesnt go to church with me and i know how it feels to be there when your husband it in great need God. But what you said called my attention it spoke to my spoke to my heart “When you love God, His Son and the Spirit with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength you are transformed. Your mind is transformed and then disappointment and bitterness no longer has influence in your life. You discover an unending joy bubbles out of you, flowing onto your husband and your children. This kind of love transforms a heart, heals a body, restores a marriage, and leads little ones to faith.” Wow that is powerful because the love of God changes us in how we view our whole marriage and. Husabnd ansd kids. We no longer see them with our own eyes but with jesus love, compassion and mercy. I will be definitely be praying for this thank soo much. 🙂

    1. Amen Veronica,

      My friend, praying such a filling of love from our Father that you are inspired to new living, praying, laughter and joy. Love you my friend, Lynn

  50. Unfortunatley I don’t have tweeting or pinning….I do have fb and have been a fan of Women Living Well for 2 years. (on the website and fb). I have been unequally yoked for 30 years now. I think I must be NOT doing something right. I could use your book to see what else I might could do . Ive been praying, and living my life right with God. But the one thing I cannot do is change his heart. he has to want to do that himself. that’s a lesson hard learned. Im thankful for this series and please enter me in the drawing for this book. Thanks!!!

    1. Lois,

      I’ve been waiting 22 years. And it’s not about that you haven’t prayed hard enough or been a good example or haven’t loved your husband enough. There are so many things that play a part in a person’s heart. If you have faithfully prayed for your husband’s faith experience, I know God is very well pleased. As a woman who has been waiting a long time as well, I have great compassion and understanding. I know the longing of your heart. I love you my friend. Hugs, Lynn

  51. I am unevenly unyoked too! Please pray for us! Thank you for sharing your story, Lynn! I know God is a God of hope, and I continually put my hope and trust in Him. Lynn, I pray God’s abundant blessing upon the ministry that God has given you.

    1. Thank you Wendy.

      Jesus bring joy, peace and the abundant life to Wendy and her family. Cover them with your grace and wisdom. Bring her husband to faith. In Jesus name. Amen.

  52. I’m unequally yoked. I sent a PM on your Facebook site yesterday asking a question but wanted to make sure you got it because I have a weird Facebook name…barnolds Barnes

  53. Lynn,
    Thank you for sharing your story and leading us this week to know more of how to live in a spiritually unequal marriage. My story is exactly the same as yours! It was through my desperation with a colic infant 4 years ago that I returned to my heavenly Father and began again to walk daily with Him. My husband now serves in our church and attends weekly with me and my boys but I have never initiated conversation about his spiritual views or walk. If you can please pray for me in the coming weeks and months to get out of my comfort zone and talk to him about accepting Christ as his savior and walking with me in our faith journey together. I greatly appreciate your post and look forward to reading more this week. I am praying for you and your wonderful ministry.
    Blessings friend!

  54. Thank you. It is hard sitting in that church pew on Sunday mornings, all alone. This lets me know I am not all alone.

  55. I am in an unequally yoked marriage. My husband does attend church with me often, but he is not really a believer. It is so hard to see his hardened heart. I know it is all about God’s timing, but I get so impatient at times. I just long for the day he will surrender to Christ.

  56. Your story sounds too familiar. I also left behind my God but my mom and dad’s divorce when I was 12 was my reason for leaving Him behind. “How could a good and loving God do this?” I asked. I came back to God with a vengeance when I was 25 and I love Him more every day. Still I struggle with how to have a thriving marriage when I sit in church with our 3 children every week while my husband stays home. Thank you for sharing your story and for your prayers. I look forward to hearing more of your story that God wrote on your heart.

  57. Your story with your husband is mine too. We met in college when I decided that the world just had so much more to offer me. Man, was I ever wrong. I started going back to church shortly after we were engaged and now almost six years later I am enjoying a wonderful relationship with God and it is growing better. My husband had been going to church with me regularly for about a year and even getting involved at church. About a month ago he stopped coming. Instead of nagging him or trying to force him to come back I have decided to “let go and let God.” I am praying constantly for my husband, but the rest I am leaving up to God. He’s the one to change my husband’s heart.

  58. I am also unequally yoked. We are going on 10 years of marriage this summer and while things are getting easier-other things are more difficult. We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things-and the ones that bother me most are the differences we have in raising our children. Thank you for the reminder for me to place those expectations on my heavenly father.

  59. Thank you so much for sharing. Our stories are very similar. I was raised in a very Godly Christian home. When I graduated, I moved further from God instead of closer. I met my husband and thought because he was a good guy and even though he was unsaved he treated me good and loves me it was ok. We got married and had a family. I realized that I had a emptiness that I needed to fill and only God could do that for me, and my children needed to be in Church. I have been involved with my Church and growing in my faith for over the last 2 yrs and my husband still has not come to Christ. I am so glad to know that I am not alone and that God has a plan and I just need to keep with him. Your words and story is comforting to hear how to survive and not give up in him!

  60. I pursued a relationship with my non- believing husband in disobedience more than 20 years ago. I met him at church, so i justified it to myself while knowing full well that he wasn’t a believer. Our marriage is happy, but it is hard. Making peace with the fact that his relationship with God isn’t actually my business was especially difficult, but I’m trying to be patient and faithful in prayer and example. Praying for all of us!

  61. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, for this post. I am unequally yolked. And it is so tough at times, that I have just wanted to throw in the towel. Like many, I long for my husband to come to church with me and actually be there for God not for me. When we first met he was very open about Christ and he even begin to start living for Him, and my husband was baptized and began a new. Years went and he slowly faded after we were hurt by church family and moved churches. I honestly thought this would begin to open him up once again. Then we experienced the unexpected. We have 3 beautiful children, then we found we were expecting our 4th. After a very long year, (long story short), we lost 2 beautiful babies. And my husband completely shut off everything. He doesn’t want to be apart of anything because he is hurt, just as I am. But I know God has a plan. We are currently expected a little girl very soon. It doesn’t take away what we experienced but I truly believe God has a plan for what us and our experiences. But my husband does not understand. Please pray that God will open him up once again. It’s so hard and many days get me down. I’m so thankful I know that other women are and have been where I am and God has changed lives and gave them the strength to continue. I am going to keep pressing. Thank you again for sharing. I’m looking forward to more this week. Much love <3

    1. Oh sweetheart! I’m so sorry for you incredible loss. I can’t even imagine going through this on top of an unequally yoked marriage. I pray God continues to be your comforter, provider, and ever faithful friend. These precious precious babies cannot come to us, but we can go to them, as David said after losing his first child with Bathsheba. Lord, surround this beautiful wife and momma with your love and comfort. Cover her with your wings of protection. Draw her husband to You, Father God; what a heavy heavy burden to try to carry in his own strength. Bless the new baby girl who is coming soon. Give her parents wisdom from You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

  62. Thank you so much! I’ve been praying for support in my unequally yoked marriage! I know the Lord is here blessing me always but I am so grateful to know I’m not alone 🙂

  63. I will celebrate 14 years of marriage with my husband next month. He is my best friend, my mate, my husband. He is not a Christian. I look forward to your wisdom in how to improve my relationship with him.

  64. I love hearing testimonies like yours, thank you so much for sharing it! I would covet your prayers for my husband, James!

  65. Thank you!! I’ve been wanting to read more stories from others on living with un unbelieving spouse. My husband left our faith 1.5 years ago and It’s been among the most trying thing in my life. Even though I’m staying strong and feel closer to my Father in heaven more than ever, I’m grateful to have helpful, inspiring words from other women who have great faith and love for our God and Savior. I know that I would not be able to do this without Him.

  66. I am a believer and my husband is not. This is near and dear to my heart. If u mention anything about God or Jesus he gets mad… i fear for our daughter because he wont allow us to go to church. I could use a prayer

  67. I so needed this. My mom emailed this to me a few minutes ago. I have been praying for some sort of confirmation from God that I am where I’m supposed to be in my marriage as I am in an unequally yoked marriage! I feel my story is your story! Thank you for sharing. This is such an inspiration. I can’t wait to hear more.

  68. Thank you for this post. It is at a time when I really need it! I regularly read Courtney’s posts and am inspired by and enjoy them but this touches my situation. Looking forward to continued reading!

  69. Today is my 4th anniversary. For a long time I resented my husband for “lying” to me when we were dating about his faith. He believes but wants nothing to do any of it. I’ve come to realize he holds deep seated resentment towards God for the things he saw in the First Gulf War, the depravity of humanity, and the hypocrisy of Christians, especially within his own family.
    I only just learned about removing expectations from your husband and placing all of my hope in the Lord (I know, I’m think-headed!) but The Lord has been doing an awesome work in my heart and life, I can only hope and pray that he sees a difference. I do worry about our baby girls relationships with The Lord but am learning to trust that God knows what He needs to bring into their lives as well to break them and bring them to Himself.
    My sisters know my struggles in this marriage, and yet they both have been / are choosing men who are not believers as well. It grieves my heart…

  70. Thankful for this series! I, too, am spiritually mismatched. My husband is a Christian and attends church with me. However, outside of Sunday, I never see him pursuing a relationship with Christ through quiet time, prayer, etc. He is not a spiritual leader of our family and I struggle with how or even if I should take on the leadership role for our children. I want our children to have a solid faith but if I leave it up to my husband they won’t get anything (outside of church attendance). I’m feeling pretty indifferent towards him right now and am worried about the future of our marriage. We are both committed and don’t believe in divorce, but I just don’t want to settle for a mediocre relationship.

  71. Thank you for this series! I have been yearning for a community like this, that shares the same marriage situation as myself. I too have a spiritually unequally yoked marriage. I was raised as a Christian as a young girl and accepted Christ as my savior in my youth. However, during my teenage years I began to distance myself from God, seeking the approval of peers and society, rather than holding on to my Christian convictions. Last year I returned to church and invited God back into my life. My husband and I have been married 15 years. He believes in God, but has not accepted Jesus as his savior. I can see God working in our lives and within our marriage, even though my husband cannot see it yet himself. His salvation is a daily prayer of mine.

  72. I’ve been married 41 years and continue to look forward to the day my husband accepts Jesus as his Lord and Savior. We’ve raised 3 awesome children that love the Lord and now have 6 grandchildren that pray for their PePaw to love Jesus. I’m glad you are pouring your life into a ministry like this!! Good for you. I’ve learned many things over the years.

    1. Been married for 40 years as well, husband believes in God…. but has no desire to grow in his relationship with God I have strlluggled with resentment and bitterness and loneliness however without my Savior I would have left this marriage a long time ago. Its so encouraging to meet someone else Who has been married a long time her Savior as well. I just found this website…
      I know it will be helpful for me.

  73. This is very encouraging and a useful resource. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to the next posts! 🙂

  74. Please pray for my husband. He is not a complete unbeliever, but also does not call himself a Christian. He is willing to attend an event at my church this week geared towards unbelievers. I pray that God speaks to him, and that my husband is ready to answer Him.

  75. I, too, left God in my twenties – and have just recently come back to Him. My husband doesn’t understand – and it’s so hard to not try to cram it down his throat!! This will be a great thing for me to read! Please pray that God will touch my husband’s heart – I do every night!!

  76. I never realized that I was unequally yoked in my first marriage until my husband passed away. Sounds crazy but now that I am remarried to a ‘true’ believer I can see the difference.

  77. I have been in a spiritually unequal marriage for 9 years. Before my husband and I started dating, I told him that I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t share my faith. He convinced me that he was a Christian that had just gone astray. He started coming to church with me.. until a year or so after we were married.

    When he quit going to church, I thought it was ‘respectful’ and ‘submissive’ to quit with him. He convinced me that you don’t need church to be a Christian. But while I tried to stay close to God apart from church, I ached for more. I needed the Christian fellowship and accountability. I started going to church without him.. and have been going alone ever since.

    We went through a lot of crap in the beginning of our marriage.. enough to tear most couples apart (hard drugs, crimes, convictions.. even emotional infidelity on my part). By God’s grace we overcame these together!
    He is not the same man as he was back then (though he is still a pot-head and a very ‘worldly’ man), but there is still no fruit of a regenerated spirit.
    He believes that he is saved, but I am not convinced that he is. There is no evidence in his life.

    We are also childless, but not because we are unable to bear children. My husband doesn’t want any, EVER. And while I do want children, I made a promise to God that I wouldn’t have any until my husband became ‘a man after God’s own heart’. (And, of course.. it takes two.) I’ve accepted that I may be childless forever.

    For many years I carried a heavy burden for my husband’s spiritual life. I made myself out to be like a martyr. But the burden was not mine to carry; it needed to be surrendered into the hands of God. I am not responsible for my husband’s soul! I learned to shift my focus towards ‘graditude’ and God’s blessings in our marriage. And we are so graciously blessed!

    Now I love him just as he is, and continue to try to win him without words. We are crazy in love and have so much fun together. I just hope and pray that he sees Christ in my life and will eventually realize what he’s missing. Through all the ups and downs, our marriage is truly an adventure!

    1. Wow I appreciate what’s on your heart… I can identify with a lot of it. I’m still praying for my husband of 40 years. God continues to bless me and protect our life together. thank you again for your message

  78. When my husband and I married 8 years ago I knew he had deep hurts and resentment against the church, I didn’t realize how serious those feelings were. When we left on our honeymoon I felt lead to tell him I wanted us to start going to church but would wait for him to find one for us and this would be the only time I would bring it up.
    I didn’t have a church in our town, I had worked Sunday since moving here. My husband had been a church leader, teacher and lay pastor until his divorce due to his x wife having an affair and the church turning against Him.
    I kept my word for the most part but it was hard. My husband is so knowledgeable about scripture and prior to dating, when we were just friends for 3 years he would answer questions and discuss biblical matters but once we married any mention of God would cause him to shut down totally.
    I continued to pray he would return to the Lord and his place as Spiritual leader in our home. about a year ago he began reading his Bible again, discussing God’s Word with me and praying for guidance. it hasn’t been an easy journey. He is still resisting God’s call on his life in some areas and tends to try to make up for lost time some days. I respect his time to study the Word which means there are days we don’t speak at all because he reads from the time he gets up until he goes to bed. I still feel something isn’t right, he’s very legalistic and judgemental. Rrefers more to Old Testament Scripture and the Law than the love and forgiveness of Jesus. These things concern me. I don’t see the compassion I would expect. But he is the most kind and loving man I could ever hope to know. I am disabled and he has taken care of me, does the house work, shops, works and never complains.
    Why do I feel unequally yoked? I feel I have no right to feel the way I do after rreading all the stories from the beautiful sisters in Christ here. God bless each of you.

  79. After reading your post, and the comments above, it’s so nice to know I’m not alone. I have the same story. I met and fell in love with my husband during the years I turned away from God, and having children inspired me to start going to church again. Once there, I felt like a fraud, and started reading my Bible and searching for ways to truly get back to God. Now I’m on fire for Jesus, and I think my husband thinks I’ve gone crazy. He actually knows a lot about Christianity, was raised in church, went to Christian schools and college, and even minored in theology. Which makes it even harder sometimes. Yesterday I came home from church and he asked me what it was about, and then he practically gave a sermon on the same topic, but with sarcasm and making fun of the church and me for believing it! It’s so hard to bite my tongue, but I’m trying to remain calm in it all. I believe God has a plan, and I can’t change my husband, but oh, it’s so hard.

    1. My hubby studied religion in university and I can DEFINITELY relate to your post…it is a hard journey, especially when we feel like our spouse is condescending and looking at us like we are gullible for what we believe. I may not be able to give a strong arguement for my faith, but I am praying that my life will show the transforming power of our God.

  80. This couldn’t have come at a better time as I am a VERY new Christian and my fiance of 6 yrs, father of our 4 yr old daughter is a non-believer. Thank you SO much for doing this!

  81. I am so surprised at the number of women in the same situation as I am in: being married to a man who says he is a Christian yet seeing no fruit. I don’t even see an interest. He will attend church more now than he used to, but he never wants to talk about faith or what was preached. I have always felt like the more I pursued God the more conflict I had in my marriage of 27 years. We are now in separate rooms, but I am enjoying getting closer to God. I hope my marriage survives, but if not I am finding comfort in my Lord.

  82. Thank you for sharing this journey and what you have learned and continue to learn. I too am in an unequally yoked marriage of almost 23 years. It’s a hard and sometimes lonely road, so please pray for us also.

  83. Married for 18 years to a wonderful man…I have been a Christian for the past 7 years and yes, we are unequally yoked. I am comforted by blogs such as this that encourage me to be the kind of wife God called me to be, despite my circumstances. I know our Lord doesn’t make mistakes, He wants me married to THIS man, and I will (with His grace) grow in faith and love my husband. Its not always an easy process, and kids make it more complicated, but I know God is bigger than situation…praying for all of us 🙂

  84. Thank you so much. I use to be much closer to God than I am now and I think it is because my husband has never been close to God which has made me fall away.
    We need Prayers! We are both drinking way too much and our household is not what is should be.
    I need to get close with my Saviour again and Pray that my husband follows. If I would change I do believe with time that he would change also.

  85. Thanks you for sharing your story… it was like reading my own. My husband did finally accept Jesus as his savior after many years of marriage and two children, but I am still praying for him to have a relationship with the Lord. God has saved our marriage on numerous occasions, so I know He can do this too! Looking forward to your posts this week!!

  86. Thank you so much for this! I have a similar past… I left church at 16, married in the meantime and came back at 26. Now at 33, I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. I’m staying committed for my daughter. Thank you for your testimony!

  87. From The Netherlands I thank you for sharing these hopeful words with the world. For such a long time now I’m struggling with this. I’m 38 now and I met my husband at the age of 15 (he was 21). At that time I called myself a christian because everyone in my surrounding was. My husband, at that time my boyfriend, didn’t believe but gave me freedom to be a “christian”. We got married and God blessed us with 3 beautiful daughters. It wasn’t untill last year when I suffered from cancer (and was healed thank God) that I really gave myself to Jesus. And now I know what people mean when they speak about their relationship with God. God is so GREAT, we have an awesome God!! I got baptised and everything changed for me…. I am changing. My husband is not… He still gives me freedom to pray at meals, go to church with our daughters, but I think he wishes that everything would go back to normal. He just doesn’t understand. I am continuing to pray for him and read 1 Petr. 3 : 1-2 when I’m loosing it. I’m looking forward for the next postings and I bless you in the name of Jesus. We need eachother to encourage and I thank you for that!

  88. Wow! Thank you, thank you, thank you Courtney for knowing the needs of your readers! I have been reading your blog and enjoying it for quite sometime but feel like an inadequate christian because my marriage is unequally yoked. This is an awesome, fresh perspective. Now we need some guest blogger working moms!!!! You rock!

  89. My husband says he is a Christian but the lifestyle he lives does not reflect this. Thanks for sharing Lynn.

  90. Thanks for this post. Been weighing heavily on my heart now that the littles are old enough to ask, “How come Daddy barely never goes to church with us?” I’m encouraged to strengthen myself spiritually to be a better example to my children.

  91. I am unequally yoked. I met my husband during my “dark years” and am now returning to Christ. Unfortunately, without my husband. He refers to my “Jesus books” and make comments here and there, but I still pray God will open his heart. It’s nice to no longer feel alone!

  92. Thank you for writing this series on Courtney’s blog. I too am in an unequally yoked marriage and it’s comforting to see I am not alone! I absolutely love your statement that a man can’t ignore a transformed life. My husband is encouraged and intrigued by relationship with the Savior and he knows God is drawing him close. We have to remember Romans 8:28 and realize our transformed lives are the light God may be using to draw our husbands. It’s tough and lonely at times but it’s all by His design! To God be the glory!

  93. This couldn’t have come at a better time. It is an answer to prayer. Over the last few years, Jesus has been working this in my heart and I have seen amazing progress in myself and my husband. I want any woman going through this to be encouraged. Our Heavenly Father will take care of us! That being said, I could use all the prayer I can get. I am thankful that there are women out there who believe this way and that we can lean on each other. I pinned this on pinterest to share and I will be praying for all the other women walking this path. We are not alone!

  94. I’m so grateful I found this book! Where has it been this whole time! I’m desperate for fellowship with other women that are unequally yoked. I can’t seem to find them in person. We’ve been married 34 years. I renewed my faith in Christ bout 10 years into our marriage. I love my husband dearly and thank God everyday for watching over me by choosing this man for me. I walked away from Christ but HE never walked away from me and my husband is evidence of that! I can’t even ask him what his beliefs are because it leads to anger. A few years back he claimed he didn’t believe in God even though he grew up in a Christian home half his childhood. Anger from him tells me he does believe in God and could be angers with Him. Just a theory but what I know for sure is that he is fearfully and wonderfully made and God knows him by name and loves him more than I do! I pray for him daily. Many times a day! It’s between him and God but I know he is protected and safe through me. I have learned that a gentle and quite spirit is far more pleasing and respect for his beliefs ( present or not!) make a peaceful home. I love not being alone in this. So many stories are just like mine and for such a time as this I have found you! God bless you and your ministry. And God bless our unequally yoked marriages!

  95. Thank you for sharing this! I can relate so much to sitting in church week after week alone. It is so hard, yet so beautiful to see couples who serve the Lord side by side. Thank you for the news that a spiritually mismatched marriage can thrive and I look forward to reading your additional posts!
    God bless,

  96. In tears reading your post and all the comments because it hits so close to home. I’m looking forward to this series and to reading your books.

    Thank you

  97. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! This article hits home for me. I am married to a soldier who is struggling with the effects of severe PTSD, traumatic brain injury, as a result of 6 combat tours overseas. I struggle with our differences, especially those in our faith. I struggle with understanding how to submit to my husband when I know he is not necessarily on the same walk as I am in faith, especially since dealing with his own invisible wounds. I appreciate your insight that you are able to share from the word of God.

  98. I am so excited about this study this week. Like all of you, I also am in an unequally yoked marriage. I was raised in a Christian home. My husband of 14.5 years was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness though his mom did not always practice their beliefs. I guess you can say my husband was the rebel of the family, as he never bought into the belief system of the Jehovah’s Witness. He had many close friends who were Christians and even sang in a Gospel band and performed in gospel plays. However, he always said that he had issues with “religion”. Though I was raised in A Christian home, a lot of things I didn’t understand. Last year, I fell into a real dark dark place I terms of my life including my marriage. It was I those darkest hours that I began having the relationship with my Heavenly Husband that I should had long time ago. All the while there were indications that my spouse was growing in His relationship too. God destroyed my old life to help me build a new one on the solid rock of His Word. I continue to cling to our Savior and try to focus on my own walk with Christ. It has always been my dream that we attend weekly worship in a church together as a family ( for a while we actually did). God is turning all this around for good and I will continue to focus in Him and wait on His timing.

  99. At this very moment, my husband is reading my bible. He was rummaging through the attic looking for his, but couldn’t find it. I was in the middle of bible study, but I was so floored that he was literally seeking God’s Word, I handed him my bible. He’s been thumbing through it for half an hour now. Oh, how many times I’ve prayed that my husband would be spiritually revived! He’s a believer, but he never actively thirsted for God’s wisdom. As far as I can tell anyway. But now, he is. I am just so so so thankful for this right now. Praise God!

  100. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I have just became a full-time christian about 2 years ago and at first my husband would go to church and I believe God had already blessed him with his Holy Spirit and then all of the sudden he refuses to go to church since a year ago. I see the need for a support group in our church for unequally yoked couples and I already have the ok from my pastor to start a new ministry for that purpose, I just didn’t know where to start so this is great. I have already ordered your books and I am printing this as well to star using your advise to encourage women who walk in our shoes. God bless you and thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

  101. My husband is a Christian, however He is searching of who Christ is & doing a lot of studying. My husband doesn’t go to church with us. We have been going through a lot & I am not sure how to honor/respect him when you don’t feel loved. Not only that he will make negative remarks about me. Recently I haven’t been that godly woman that I know I need to be & to show the love of Christ to my husband. I think part of it is hurt & I want to stick up for my self.

  102. Good morning Lynn. I am very new to Women Living Well, 2 days new. God definitely lead me her for a reason. Thank you for your encouraging words. My husband and I are unequally yoked. I have been praying for him to join us (Me and 3 kids) at church and that he will reconnect with his love for Jesus. Thank you for your prayers. I look forward to reading your series and book. God bless you-Sharon

  103. My husband was a believer when I chose him to marry. It was an important quality to me, but since then he has turned his back on everything. What started out as questions has turned into all-out bitterness toward Christianity aka ME. And it’s painful. Earlier in our marriage when he started to stray, I thought I could just “encourage” him back, but I’ve since learned that just doesn’t work. And now I’m trying to live life according to 1 Peter 3 so I can “win him over without words” but it feels like so much pressure. To never mess up, always keep patience, and always be joyful. We have three little ones and I want to raise them to love and know Jesus, to turn to the Bible for everything, but I kind of feel like I have to do that in secret, when Daddy’s not around. And I hate that. Part of what makes it frustrating to me is that he still says a prayer at meals, still goes to church with us, still acts like everything is in tact, even though under the surface he’s so very broken.

  104. What you said in your post I learned several years ago and it lifted such a burden off my shoulders. I have learned to set my eyes on Jesus and not have unrealistic expectations of my husband especially since he isn’t a believer.

  105. I recently got a divorce in jan of this month I was very unequally yoked and now I feel I have failed God cause I went through with the divorce. I am filled with so much anger that I know it’s not of God asking to please pray I can forgive myself and forgive my ex husband.

  106. My sister sent me this and I know it was God who asked her to! My husband was a believer when we married, but hurts and heartaches have caused him to turn away from God. He is bitter and angry at God, and now, he says, he doesn’t believe God even exists. I go week after week to church alone. We used to lead worship together, I miss that, miss it so much my heart aches. Yet, after reading this blog I cried and cried while reading the prayer at the end. I pray these words resonate in my heart and mind always! Thank you for sharing.

  107. I met my boyfriend almost 8 years ago when I was struggling with my faith because I was raised in a Christian home, but I never truly accepted him for myself in 2011 when I switched churches, and heard the Gospel preached. For about 6 months my boyfriend attended church until his mom went in the hospital and then went to rehab to get better physically from the pain she was in. Then he turned his back on God because he didn’t see a miracle right away. I continue to pray that he will grow spiritually because I know the devil is putting lies into his head. Thank you Lynn for this series because it is needed. All I heard about is if you are unequally yoked then leave, but nobody ever mentioned to pray for the person, and stay in the relationship, and let God do the work in him.

  108. Thank you for sharing your story with us! I sit here in tears after reading your post because your story is much like mine and I couldn’t agree more. We serve an amazing God and I have complete faith in Him to open my husband’s heart. This couldn’t come at a a better time too since Easter is right around the corner and I’m always tempted to focus on how sad it makes me not having my husband celebrate in church with us. Thank you!

  109. Thank you so much for doing this. I, too, am in an unequally yoked marriage. It has brought a lot of heartache and loneliness at times, and I find myself struggling with being bitter towards my husband at times because of it! THANK YOU so much for your openness in your journey with your husband and thank you to your husband for being so supportive of this sensitive issue! It is so encouraging to read the other comments and realize that there are other women in the same boat. We need to all help each other out. Satan wants us to feel divided, separated and alone in our journeys, but that is not the truth! God bless you all for your openness to share!!

  110. My sister forwarded this to me. My husband and I are so unequally yoked, I’m using the yoke of an egg, there is a lot more of the clear gooey stuff than the solid yellow yoke. I grew up in church, knew right from wrong, but at the age of 16, like so many others, got a job and started working Sundays. I went away from the church but always had God in my head, not always in my heart. I married a guy when I was 20, short marriage – 9 months, seemed like forever. Divorced, met my husband around that time at work. We dated, got engaged and married. I knew he believed there is a God but not sure if he believed IN God. Of course at the time I was not living the right way either. I always grew up knowing a Christian should marry a Christian but until I finally got right with the Lord, which was 3 children later, I didn’t know what a rough road it could be. In the beginning he was trying to get me to not go to church. Between his comments and the devil making the children hard to get ready so we could be on time, it was a rough go. I figured the Lord was watching and happy I got there whether I was late or not. As time went on and he found out his comments weren’t effecting me and that I was also taking any kid that spent the night with us on a Saturday night to church, he stopped commenting. I too wish the seat on my left was filled by my husband and pray that some day it will be. For now I sit with my parents and my youngest daughter on my left. My real prayer is for my pew to be filled with my husband and children. Hopefully some day. One thing I have kept in my mind all these years is how I watched other women that came to church with their children and no husband, but they came, they sang in the choir, week after week were faithful. I am doing my best to shine my light. God is with me, guiding me, helping me to know when to speak and when to just speak by actions. I’m so glad I read this today. I knew I wasn’t alone but so desperately want the Christian family. I want to have the plaque “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Now I feel it’s “As for me, I will serve the Lord and hope everyone else joins in.” I learned early not to be pushy, that pushes them further away, trying to set the example and show faithfulness could be the answer. I pray they all get right with the Lord before it’s too late. Thanks for sharing and letting me share.

  111. My Dear Hubby and I are unequally yoked. I was thrilled when saw the title of this week’s focus!! I often feel so alone in a congregation full of people especially when there’s some type of couple function advertised. We just had our 3rd son and my two oldest love attending their children’s church. My desire is that they continue developing their relationship with God and don’t give in to the same temptations as their dad. I also desire to be a light for my husband but it just gets so hard sometimes…I realize I must shift my focus from what he’s doing or not doing…consistency is my major struggle…

  112. I am so thankful for this series. My heart has been heavy lately. This is a God send at the right time! At first I was sad to see soo many stories that are so similar to my own. Ones that, I could have written. But now I am feeling more encouraged. It is sad that there are so many of us but we can bear each others burdens and “if two or three are gathered in my name…. ”

    And I feel I must say something to those of you who are not married (over 20 here!) yet but are in an unequally yoked relationship. Especially If you are planning to have children, I would caution you. Unless you are spiritually grounded and have a spiritual support system, you are taking a chance. The influence of my husband in my home makes it more difficult to raise my- our children in the way that is right before God. He brings things in my home that I never would have brought in. There are arguments and disagreements regarding media. I am always left looking like the bad guy. One year, my husband got a new video game, it took God’s name in vain- constantly. He sometimes curses at my children when he is angry with them. The longer we are married, the more the differences in where are hearts are becomes clear. I love him dearly but I did not bring two lives into this world for them to suffer for an eternity in the next world. I know that as a mother I will be held accountable for how I raised my children. It saddens me to say this but I would not call our home a Christian home. As my children get older, it has become apparent that they are more like their dad(a good man- but no real spiritual fruit, no spiritual leadership, no desire to know and serve God). That’s not good enough. It would have been easier to have a Christian home without him in it. And before you say, your boyfriend/fiance is not that way. This was not overnight. This was gradual. Like the frog in the boiling water. When we first met, he didn’t curse. I led him to Christ. At one time he was trying to read the Bible. While we were dating, we were at church every time the doors opened. The first year that we were married, I tried to get him to pray with me, have devotions. I bought him a Men’s Bible- I don’t think he ever used it. We went to church together on Sunday Mornings. I could go on… just pray long and hard about your relationship. Listen to God. If he tells you to end it, deal with the heartbreak now and lean on Him or you will deal with it later. (I am sorry if this sounds harsh- like I said pray about it- but I am thinking about the children. ) Being a Christian should effect every decision that you make in your life, your future husband not being a Christian will effect every decision he makes too. Ask anyone who is married, Christian or not, you are “on your best behavior” before marriage.

  113. I can not tell you how timely this series is!!! I just started leading a bible study at my church for women in unequally yoked marriages!!!! I too am in a unequally yoked marriage but God did a glorious thing when He reminded me that he has called me to be a godly wife no matter the “status” of my husband!!!! We have five beautiful children together and our marriage has become so amazing as soon as I started working on fixing me and fullfilling what God has called me to do instead of trying to fix him!!!! Such an amazing journey filled with hope and promises from our loving Heavenly Father!!!! Hope I win your book so I can pass the pearls from it to the women I am leading!!!!

  114. I LOVE this article… I have been married to my husband for 6 years, and we were apart for 3 of those because of infidelity on his side. We have reconciled since then, and one huge thing that I know was missing the first time around was not have Jesus in our lives. While we were apart I returned to church on my own and knew my relationship with Jesus is what was missing for me. I have always been a believer, without question, but I did not dig deeper, I did not go to church, I didnt do anything. But I have made a mistake even this time around, I let him know that I didnt want to reconcile unless he was willing to go back to church with me. Trying to find the perfect church for him and me is difficult because he keeps putting up very trivial obstacles. While I have not given up on one day finding a church that resonates with the both of us, this book I believe will help me understand that he might not be as ready as I am to return to Jesus. Thank you so much…

  115. Hello Lynn, I was so pleased when I saw that you were on Courtney’s blog. I have read your book. Well in truth I have read most of your book. I stopped a few months ago when things were starting to go really well in my marriage. This weekend my husband told me that he never would have married my if I had been a believer when we met. It just broke my heart because I feel like I now have the strength and patience to be a better wife to him now than I ever could without Jesus but all he sees are his own issues with religion. He is so often in a very dark place and is lost without God. It helps me sometimes to remember something I read in your book- that I cannot be his Holy Spirit which takes a lot of pressure off my shoulders. Thank you for your ministry.

  116. Thank you for sharing this! I grew up in a non christian home so I didn’t come to know the Lord until after I had started my relationship with my husband. His mom actually got me interested. He grew up in churches but didn’t commit himself. We both gave ourselves to the Lord and it was a wonderful two years and then due to circumstances in the church he left God. I struggled for over a year with God and trusting Him. I have found God again but my husband won’t. He says he believes but that is it. I feel pulled in so many directions. I want to follow God fully but it is so hard when you can’t talk to your husband about the things of God or what you believe God is doing or wants to do. I feel so held back!

  117. Thank you for your encouraging word. I know The Lord led me here to give comfort and strength for this season of my life. My story is a bit different. My husband is a believer and we have been worshipping togeather go 30 years, but 9 mos ago he changed ” beliefs” he joined a different denomination that is inclusive and will not let him worship with me in an evangelical bible believing church. Our spiritual oneness , emotional oneness and physical oneness has suffered immensely. Satan is attacking in subtle ways but I’m trusting God to fight this battle. I tried changing his attitude, heart, and pleaded for our oneness. I know now God must fight and the Holy Spirit is the one that changes. Now I’m clinging and leaning hard on Jesus!
    Thank you and please pray. Ill be praying for you and all my sisters in Christ who face this struggle:)

  118. Thank you for this post! I know I’m late, but I just want to say how much I appreciate this post. God works in mysterious ways. Since I have found this blog, I have been blessed immensely. God has called me back to Him and in turn closer to my husband. In our unequally yoked marriage, We have faced many struggles, but it is comforting to know we are not alone. I will continue to pray for him and for all of us facing this challenge.

  119. I am so happy to have just found this post. I have been with my boyfriend for quite a while, and since the beginning of our relationship, I have known that he wasn’t 100% on the same page as me spiritually. We have recently started talking about marriage. But at the same time, he has also decided that he no longer believes, and nothing I have said has made an impact on this decision. (This unbelief has been a slow development over time and I think he’s just begun allow himself to accept it and openly talk about it with me and close friends.) He understands and supports my belief and is willing to have a church wedding, but (even knowing that I shouldn’t want to change him,) a small part of me wants him to believe that he is being married before God and that this is a promise we make to not just each other but to God. I want him by my side in my service to Christ. The issue is: I know he won’t talk to anyone about this because everyone who knows him and the situation well enough to help he doesn’t want knowing that he has had this change of heart. He is still an amazing Christian man in his thoughts and actions, but doesn’t have the belief in his heart. We go to church together (sometimes, he’s even the one who gets me up in the mornings and convinces me to go), and he knows the bible better than I do. But, I don’t know how to help him spiritually in his heart and soul. Please, pray for me. Ask that God gives John the guidance he needs to come back to Christ’s unfailing love. Ask that He gives me the words and thoughts to help him on this journey. Thank you and God bless.

  120. Thank you so much for these entries. I didn’t understand that I was unequally yolked until my husband’s affairs. Living in such a marriage feels like a constant battle, in my own home; where my children and I desire to feel loved and protected by my spouse, as well as our heavenly Father. Your words help to guide my heart and mind to their true focus. And, the worldly sinner I am is comforted in knowing I am not alone in my struggle.

  121. Thank you for this post. Lately, I have been feeling like the only woman in the world with this issue. I knew we were spiritually mismatched from the beginning but there are times when it is more painful than I ever imagined it would be.

  122. God is amazing! He keeps confirming to me that He wants my marriage to work. For 4 days my husband kept tellng me he doesnt think our marriage is working out. This after a very long and rocky 2 years. For the past 19 months I felt led to pray for him and our marriage and not give up no matter how many people have told me I should. There are day I feel defeated and feel like if I just moved on with my life without him I could finally find happiness But God has directed me right back to the path He put me on in the first place and that is standing for and praying for my husband. Your article above is exactly what He was confirming to me yesterday. Thank you and thank God for His continued direction.
    I do have a prayer request, my husband is planning something in a couple of weeks that I dont feel lines up with Gods plan for marriage. I think it sets him up for temptation and to further damage our already fragile relationship. Pray that God will change his mind and foil these plans.. Pray that Gods purposes will prevail and that God will fight for my marriage against the weapon of an unhealthy relationship that has been formed against our marriage. Satan has been using it to cloud my husbands view for a long time.Pray that it will broken down and destroyed. Pray that my husband will fall in love with me again through Gods grace and changing of my spirit.. Thank you.

  123. I love this and am so happy I found it my husband and I have been struggling for a while he was in the service and has issues with PTSD the closer I get to God it seems the farther apart we become it’s so difficult and painful and I worry about our babies. I know God loves my husband and I pray that eventually he will come to know the Lord my grandparents have been married almost 60 years they weren’t Christians when they got married, my grandmother found the Lord and the lived in an unequally yoked marriage until my Grandpa at around 40 (they got married at 18) or 50 finally accepted Christ. It’s a comfort to me to have that example and reminder to be patient and rely on God and his timing! would love to win that book!

  124. I was saved a few months after getting married and my husband is an atheist. We’ve been married for 6 years. I found out he was committing adultery about a year and a half ago and despite several attempts to get divorced, it just never happened. Despite all the pain this has caused, I forgave him and we’re trying to restore the marriage. Although everything looks normal on the outside, I still struggle to trust him. Sometimes I tell myself that I’d be justified in ditching him, but something keeps telling me to humble myself and continue to hang on, so I do. I pray that one day he’ll be saved. I can’t help but notice some of the other couples that go to my church and wish that one day my husband would not only willingly come with me, but fall in love with the Lord, too. If our conversations about God were as deep as our conversations about politics and current events, I can only imagine how delightful that would be. Thank you for this article and please pray for our marriage and my husband’s salvation.

  125. My “fiancée” is a man I’ve dated 3 months, Robert is 1/4 Cherokee, and doesn’t believe in Jesus. He’s a good,giving, loving man who would help anyone in this world who needs help. He often sleeps in his car and eats ramen noodles because he’s given his money away.
    I ask for prayer for Robert White that he will meet Jesus and understand His sacrifice, also for the woman Jo Beth who convinced Robert that she cannot live without his constant givingthis or she’s gonna die (he drives her to appointments every day,he pays her bills,she won’t work because she tells him shes too sick).I feel she also needs to meet the real Christ,quit using Rob, and work for her own living.I need patience as well,this situation has caused us constant problems as I do love Rob and his wonderful spirit, and I feel Jo Beth gets in the way of our relationship.

  126. My marriage is unequally yoked. It is so hard sometimes. I knew when I married my husband that he was not a believer. I wasn’t in a place where I was worried about it. Now it is a different story. We have a 5 year old son (Michael) he doesn’t understand why I pray and daddy doesn’t or why daddy doesn’t go to church with us. Please pray for my husband’s salvation and that God helps me lead by example.

  127. Thank you so much for sharing!! This topic is something I struggle with daily!! I was raised in a baptist church my whole life. I met my husband when I was in 7th grade..we became high school sweethearts! After I graduated high school I drifted away from church..we got married and this year will make 10 years married with 2 young daughters! He is a wonderful hard working man that does anything he can for us…but he was not raised up in Church like I was. He claims to be a believer who prays daily but he hasn’t been baptized and doesn’t like going to church nor does he see the importance of it. A year ago I joined a new church and re dedicated my life to the lord and he joined me in church on Sunday mornings several times but then he stopped cold turkey…and I got discouraged and slowly drifted away as well! Thankfully I’m back at it now because I realize I need to work on myself before trying to change him. It’s just really hard going alone and playing the role of the spiritual leader of the home when you know it’s supposed to be his role. Sometimes I feel so alone and Hopeless like things will never change or he will never change…so it helps me knowing that others have been through the same thing!

  128. Please pray for my husband, Carson M. Thomas and our marriage. He is a wonderful husband, but recently has stopped attend church services with me due to an incident involving a rather controlling person in a leadership position at church. I have the ability to ignore most situations, where my husband being a man, will address the person. He enjoys feeding church members and visitors after service from time to time. I really enjoy family and fellowship time with him on Sundays. Being from Mobile AL, he really enjoys soul stirring singers. My church has also had gifted singers, but after a few leadership changes over the years, we have been blessed with a who soever let them come choir(smile). We have a good choir, a little country western and a little soul, but we sing unto the Lord. He does enjoys our anointed Pastor’s messages, but wants to visit other churches too. Being a member of this church for almost 40 years, has made it hard for me to comply. My Pastor is an anointed man of God! He prayed me thru cancer in 2007 and many other trials to long to mention. On the other hand, not going to church isn’t good for him either. Plus, I miss our family’s fellowship time together on Sundays.

    Please pray with me for God’s will in this situation. I am also asking the Lord to allow my husband, Carson M Thomas, to have a personal experience with him and use him to his glory. Amen! Thank you very much, Eunice Hetherington Thomas

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