/ / Anger Management: 5 Things That Make Me Lose My Temper {Proverbs 15}

Anger Management: 5 Things That Make Me Lose My Temper {Proverbs 15}

Sometimes it is very hard to manage our anger. Here are five things that make me lose my temper and how I learn to keep it under control.  #Biblestudy #Proverbs #WomensBibleStudy #GoodMorningGirls

Do you struggle with losing your temper?  You are not alone.

Perhaps your mother or father yelled a lot and now you find you do too.

Or maybe you never even knew you had a temper until you got married or until you had children.

Long ago, I turned to the book of Proverbs in my Bible, grabbed a highlighter, and marked every.single.verse. that referenced anger and the words that come out of my mouth.

I marked verses like:

“He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”
Proverbs 13:3

 “A quick tempered man does foolish things.”
Proverbs 14:17

“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
Proverbs 17:27

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
Proverbs 29:11

And this one…the GMG Verse of the week!   I committed to memory and began working on it in my private life:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1

But I still lose my temper and in today’s video I’m sharing  5 Things That Make Me Lose My Temper and how I manage my temper when it arises.  

I hope by being open – together – we can help each other!

**Chime In**

Do you relate to any of these 5 things ? Which one is a trigger for you?

Walk with the King,

Courtney

 

48 Comments

  1. Hey Courtney ~

    Thanks for putting this important subject on the table! A big challenge for alot of Christian women is figuring out what to do with our very real emotions of hurt, frustration, fear, and feeling disrespected.

    Here’s 8 steps to a healthy way of responding when those feelings begin to come rushing in …
    http://creeksideministries.blogspot.com/2011/10/angry-8-steps-to-healthy-response.html

    The good news is that with God’s help, we CAN choose new ways to respond rather than react.

    By His grace, by His grace!

    1. Dear Courtney,
      I praise and thank God for your life. Just wanted to take a moment to build you up. You are being used mightily by your like for our KINGS sake and when someone strikes anger at us, or we do the same to them, we know what kingdom that is of….so dismiss it. I know…easier said than done…but I’m walking with the KING and with you through this awesome study. God bless you my sister in Christ….((HUGS))

      1. OOPS….should have proof read before sending…too early in the morning…but won’t forget next time…

  2. Oh boy, were you in my home today… My almost 5 year old got into her older sisters makeup. Colored her clothes, (WHITE) furniture and body with red lipstick and nail polish….Let’s just say I did not hold my tongue…
    Thank you for the reminder…

  3. You are precious! You sparkle when you speak and the love of Jesus shines through you. Thank you for your honesty and openness. You and your teachings are SO appreciated!

    Blessings!

    1. Debra, I totally agree! I’m so happy I found Courtney’s blog because it has helped me tremendously 🙂 I want to light up like that when I talk about our Lord too!

  4. Dear Courtney,

    Thank you for your words today. It is so easy to get angry and frustrated when we are tired. It was like you were talking to me about four year old behaviour! You are right we need to let it go and bring all feelings of bitterness to God, if he can forgive us and save us we can let go of anything here on earth.
    Bless you for your ministry.
    Becca

  5. I am right there with you on disorganization! I find that I get so flustered when I’m trying to get everyone out of the house and my irritation usually gets aimed right at my husband! Thank you for reminding me to use gentle words and not “stir the pot”!
    -Marley

  6. Ooh I needed this today!!! I SOAK’d the same verse because I have got to get this under control. And one specific person in our home pushes every single button I have!!!!!! I must make sure I pray about this waaay more than I do then act on it.

    Thank you!

  7. Thank you so much Courtney!! I have been following your reading through the bible since the start, but have struggled to get into reading proverbs for various reasons. But today was perfect! I really needed to read Proverbs 15 and hear your words in your video about how to respond to anger. I have been snapping over little things with our kids lately and I know that I need to respond with more gentleness, just good to hear it! I love that you shared 5 things that make you angry…I totally can relate to them all. Being tired, expecting too much from my 4 yr and having too much on the calendar along with feeling disorganised in the house and being bitter over little silly things can definitely make me angry. With that said, it’s getting late here, so I’m off to bed to get some sleep. Thank you for sharing this post today!!!! I have been blessed immensely by it. 🙂

  8. Oh my goodness, are we the same person!? I totally related to every single one of those anger triggers. You are very brave for blogging, because this girl could not handle the criticism. Thanks for enduring it to bring us God’s word so faithfully. I’m sure your fans far outnumber your critics! Be blessed!

  9. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Your words are SUCH an encouragement to me today. Thanking God for leading me to your blog. Know that you are truly ministering to people!

  10. Hi Courtney!

    Wow, Thanks for sharing tips for Anger Management because i can truly relate to everything you said. I have been praying asking God for help on how to control my temper and then i see and read your blog this morning. Thanks for being obedient because this truly blesses and helps me!

  11. This is a big issue for me that the Lord is working out in my life right now! I didn’t realize how angry I could get until I became the full time caregiver of a very, very difficult family member who moved in with me and my husband almost a year ago. I can’t seem to stop myself from responding unkind when I feel offended or insulted by this person. The think the expectation of her behaving differently and even the bitterness that has grown are triggers for me too, so I can definitely relate to those three triggers! I’ve been very aware of scriptures on anger lately and really need the Lord’s help walking in the Spirit and pleasing Him! I learned from Proverbs that in regards to anger, I am a “fool”. I want to be wise and gentle!

  12. I know you love to do videos, but I never watch them. I hardly ever watch videos on any blog. I’d much rather read. I wish you’d put these things in a blog post rather than a video.

    1. Hi Barbara,

      So sorry…some people love (and prefer) videos and I know others do not. The majority of posts are written but sometimes it’s nice to connect face to face. 😉 My video posts actually take longer to create because I have to think of the content – review it a few times out loud, take several tries to get it right, upload it to youtube (which can take a few hours etc.) So they are a lot of work – but like I said – I do it because much of the younger generations prefer videos. I’ll keep it balanced though and don’t plan to make another video for another 2-3 weeks probably. 😉

      Have a great weekend,
      Lots of Love,
      Courtney

      1. I agree with the person who said you “sparkle” when you speak, what a gift you have from the Lord! This is only the second video of yours that I’ve watched other than how to do the SOAK method and I’m so glad I did. The topic of course was right on point and I’ll have to watch a couple of times to write down the triggers to watch for.
        But it got me thinking, you know how when we are pregnant we “glow” well except the last couple of weeks ;). Why is that? Other than the science of the hormones I think it’s because we are so happy to be creating a life. We feel privileged! Isn’t it a privilege/blessing to be a child of God and to in turn share the good news? Well, I want to glow and sparkle when I speak about God’s word just like you do. You have inspired me friend to truly become steeped in God’s word so that I can be a sparkling light to those around me and bring more ppl to glory with us! Thx for all you do for us for free! Talk about a power volunteer!
        I pray God continues to bless the socks right off you and your family and future generations because of your faithfulness!
        YSIC (Your Sister In Christ),
        -HRT
        Proverbs 15:23 I see you sister! 😉

  13. Hi. Wow, I feel like you described me in like EVERY SINGLE WAY. Hahaha. My sister is Rosilind Jukic and we’ve talked about you a few times… Now I really wish we could meet because I’ve thought a few times when she mentioned things that we could be similar in some ways… But after this video I was like… She just described me to a “T” (especially the not finding things while being in a hurry deal)… Hahahahaha thank you! One thing I love about your Bible study vids is that you are real and don’t come across as perfect or having it all together. It is very comforting! 🙂 Blessings to you!

    1. Hi Bonnie!!

      Thank you so much for commenting – I LOVE your sister and she and I relate on so many levels that I bet you and I would too! How fun! Someday perhaps our paths will cross – I would love that!

      Thanks for your encouragement today!!
      Lots of Love,
      Courtney

  14. Wow, my heart went out to you when you said, “I hope you can relate!” Thank you for being honest and open about your struggles. We are ALL sinners and not one of us could say we haven’t struggled or fought the sin of unrighteous anger. I appreciate your video and your thoughts and am encouraged by them. 🙂
    I can relate to Barbara’s dissapointment – sometimes videos do not load or are glitchy. If you do not have a transcript for the video, I would be willing to listen and type it out – if that would be of help.
    Take Care and may God continue to bless your ministry!!
    Valerie

  15. Thank you for posting the anger video and I can definitely relate. Getting more into the word has brought such healing to my life! To God be the glory! I appreciate your ministry helping me dig deeper in God’s word! ❤️

  16. Ladies, so struggling with this especially recently! How much grace are we to give to someone? Unlimited? I’ve been married to my spouse for 11 years and would describe our marriage as perfect, a match made in heaven, except for one thing. Alcohol. Just last week I had to have the “drinking” talk with my spouse for the millionth time. He expressed regret and apology and yet we are back at it. In our culture today we have enough evil all around us I’m so tired of having the evil right in our home! HELP!

    1. I’m sorry Jill! I am married to an alcoholic who has been sober for 6 years (PRAISE THE LORD). It was only through the grace of the Lord Jesus and prayer that brought him to rehab. He drank for the first 17 years of our marriage and the latter years were so hard. He was totally functional-held a job, no arrests or drunk driving tickets, etc. Our family and friends never realized how serious the problem was. I knew though. He was drinking so much we were going broke paying for it! He was drinking during the work day (I didn’t know that at the time). I would rebuke Satan and pray and ask God what else I needed to do. I had forgiven so much because alcohol had driven him to commit other sins that were hard on me as well. I was scared that something terrible would happen. He was also depressed and sometimes threatened suicide. It got to a point that I questioned in my own mind if suicide might not be such a bad thing-I know, that sounds awful! It was terrible by that point in time. I didn’t give up though. I knew that I didn’t want my children to live in a broken home. Divorce was not going to be an option. I worked hard to keep it together for them, and oh boy, did the anger boil up to the surface at times! Satan really had a foothold in our home. So I read the Bible, went to church, and prayed. I took my children to church and I lived as normal a life as I could. It was like a double life. No one knew really what I was going through except Jesus. I don’t know if I could have done it without a relationship with Him. Then one day I was going to our family physician for a hurt wrist and just casually asked my husband (I’d had the “alcohol talk” lots of pevious times”)-but this time I just ASKED him if he wanted me to talk to the doctor about maybe getting him some help with stopping drinking. And that was it…he said yes and the doctor who had no idea that he was consuming so much alcohol on top of antidepressant meds immediately sprung into action. I know it was a supernatural act of God. It was an answer to years of prayer. My husband later told me that the reason he said yes was beause instead of me telling him what he needed to do, I finally asked him. I don’t know if that’s really it. I’ve asked him lots of things before and since then that he didn’t just jump up and do! I give the credit 100% to God. I am still married to my love. He hasnt had a drink since that rehab. He struggles with some addictive type behaviors-mostly he gets really caught up with his drag racing car! But he’s much more responsible and safe with that! He’s always been a great Dad to our two children, now 22 and 19. They learned a lot going through this experience too and are both responsible adults. Our son is just out of the Navy, married, and working a new job. Our daughter is a Bible college student starting her junior year and studying abroad this summer. So, Jill, keep praying and never underestimate the power of Our God! Paul wrote “Be angry but don’t sin” for things like this I think. You need to take action to stop him. Even if the action is just to pray and go to church and get it figured out. Meanwhile, I’m praying for you too!

      1. Thank you for sharing Carol!!! I love what you wrote and know that I have to continue praying and be patient! God will take care of the rest.

    2. Hi Jill… I’m in the same position. My hubby and I have been married for 34 years this month. He’s an functional alcoholic. We had the talk for the umpteenth time a few months ago and after much “lip service,” he finally went to outpatient rehab. I say lip service because he would say anything he had to just to shut me up. Yes, he was apologetic and upset that I was upset and was ridden with guilt, but nothing ever changed. He even said we would go church shopping once he got situated in AA and the rehab. Like I said, anything to shut me up. That’s what they do. It’s very frustrating! I finally had to tell him that if he didn’t get help, our marriage was going to suffer. He did get help, but he still wouldn’t go to church so back in April, I decided I was going to church without him. I also started going to Al-Anon in March. Both have helped me tremendously in taking care of me and getting me on the right path. He is a grown man who I cannot MAKE do anything. I only have control over me and what I do. I pray and am waiting very patiently for the day when God brings him to church with me and he is saved! That’s really all I can do at this point. Having fellowship with people who understand makes you realize that you aren’t crazy. In fact, when going to Al-Anon, it never ceases to amaze me that everyone there is going through or has gone through the same exact thing whether it’s regarding alcohol or drugs with their qualifier. I always thought my situation was unique. Get yourself into an Al-Anon group and keep praying that God will turn his heart down the right path. I will pray for you as I’m sure all who are reading will do as well. xo

  17. I am convicted in this area. Please pray for God’s divine intervention in my life so I may represent the One who so loved the world that He died for us. I forget He lived among humanity so He could identify with mankind in every sense. I’m in tears … Much love and regret resides in my heartache and brokenness. I am a mess. Thankful Christ is faithful and sovereign; He doesn’t give up on me/us and knows our beginning, middle and end. His work is finished, but I am real work in progress. I recognize my reaction is not from the Lord or His heart towards others. No excuses, but I react when my loved one has no ears to hear or desire to understand, which leaves me feeling rejected, isolated and unloved. I get defensive and return his anger and pain. I react instead of seeking Christ to love as He commands and to forgive as I have been forgiven. Thank you for your testimony; the love and courage to be real and share truth so we may all grow more in Christ. May there be more lovers and followers of Christ; may He be known through my life … a real piece of work in progress. Thank you God and my sisters in Christ. God bless.

  18. Love this. My biggest triggers as we call them are 1) hour before dinner 2) bickering between the kids 3) lack of exercise 4) worry 5) lack of sleep. All things I can control or choose how to react to!

  19. Dear Courtney, Thank you soon much for your video! I could relate almost all if them, I am a mom to three kids, Abigail (5) Addison (3, busy boy) and Arianna (5 months). I so often loose my temper with them, especially my son who is very active and always into something! I could relate especially to the me just being tired and also expectations of my children! They are only little and still learning and I need to have Grace, and remind myself I am not in control, that God is and I need to rely on his strength through these early years! Thank you so much for your openness and honesty! Love you sister! You are helping me with your openness and Love for Christ everyday!
    I also love that you have a book now to write in for this study!
    With Love, your sister in Christ,
    Alyssa

  20. Boy, Courtney, thank you so much!! Anger is what I struggle with the most and you hit the nail on the head for the reasons I get angry. Some of them I hadn’t really identified before, like bitter feelings. I thank God that I found your blog a few years back. It has given me strength and many things to think about and pray over. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  21. Courtney, your post is exceptionally timely. God definitely meant it for me today. I came home from church VERY. ANGRY.

    A number of the points that set you off, set me off too – tiredness, expectations of others or perceived expectations by others, disorganization or poor time management. For me, the bitterness actually follows the anger because it becomes pent up and I don’t deal with it. I would point out, however, that anger itself is not a sin so we have to be careful that we don’t communicate it as such. It is how we handle it – as you mentioned in your video blog, with kindness, gentleness and compassion for the person, and action with the circumstance.

    The emotion of anger holds such emotional tension, and often people are afraid of it and how much power it can produce, but that power – if used with godly direction and intent – can result in very positive results. I hope that my actions following the anger I felt at the end of my church service will have positive results.

    Thank you so much for your ministry and offering such sound, godly wisdom. Your ministry has been such a lifeline for me in the last few months.

    Candace

  22. Courtney… love love love your video! It is exactly what I needed to see. I can relate to every single thing that you said. Are you sure we aren’t related?? lol Thank you so much for this wonderful Bible Study and all that you do. You are such an inspiration! xo

  23. Thank you for being completely honest . I do struggle with this subject. I feel as if I will explode if I don’t say what is on my mind . I need a lot of prayer .

  24. The following acronym has really helped me to slow down when I get carried away with unrealistic expectations. T=is it TRUTHFUL. H=is it HELPFUL, I=is it INSPIRATIONAL,(is it Spirit led?), N=is it NECESSARY, K=is it KIND? If I can’t answer yes to all of them, I keep my mouth shut until the last one is fulfilled.
    Another very helpful tool for addressing anger is the book by Robert Jones:Uprooting Anger. I would highly recommend this book for everyone struggling with their anger and wanting to change. He does a wonderful job of showing how our desires (which may not necessarily be wrong in themselves) morph into demands and pretty soon we are on the throne and God is nowhere in the picture. We don’t just want to manage our anger, but learn whether it is righteous anger or selfish anger and then what do we do with that selfish anger. Holy anger or righteous anger defends the cause of Christ. Our selfish anger only defends our demands and dethrones God and puts ourselves on the throne instead. I learned so much about my sinful anger to stew and cook people in my anger and bitterness. God showed me my sin and graciously showed me the better way. He is still at work thankfully.

  25. Love this post! I do lash out at my children sometimes and I feel bad about it later. I apologize to them sometimes. Definitely something I am working on. I don’t want them lashing out at their children because it is something they learned from me.

    When I am running late…Lord help me lol! I get so irritated! Thank God I have a patient husband! I think I can relate to everything you said in this video lol!! Thanks for the scriptures Courtney! God bless you & yours!

  26. I especially liked the reminder that children will act like children! I always keep this in mind when Im at church and my toddler is being…..well, a toddler! I find that I get much more stressed than the other people around me when he is chatty, and it wont be long till he will be able to sit quietly like his brothers!

  27. I apologize profusely but I am so confused. I read Proverbs 16 for July 6th. I was gonna post my response to the discussion question but everyone is talking about anger management and a video. I’m lost, can someone help me know what I’m doing wrong? Thank you

  28. Hi Courtney,
    I’ve been following you for years now and I am so grateful for your ministry. This video on anger management came at just the right time. I just wanted to say thanks for being so genuine in your posts.

  29. Hi Courtney,

    Thank you for this video and for your honesty. I can become angry when I lack sleep and when I am holding bitterness and resentment towards a person that has hurt me. Its so easy to loose the loving grace that God wraps us with each day, however its not impossible. The wisdom of God that I learn by reading His word each morning helps be hold back on my words that can be words of life and words of death. I choose for them to be words of life.

    I too am walking with you through this wonderful study!

    God bless you and your family.

    Sincerely,
    Jessica Medina

  30. When I am running late…Lord help me lol! I get so irritated! Thank God I have a patient husband! I think I can relate to everything you said in this video lol!! Thanks for the scriptures Courtney! God bless you & yours!

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