Love Your Neighbor

It is very easy to talk about loving others as we love ourselves, but so hard to do. Here is why learning to love your neighbor is a hard lesson. #Biblestudy #Romans #WomensBibleStudy #GoodMorningGirls

This passage of scripture is so easy to write on but so difficult to live out.  It’s very convicting for me.  Let’s closely examine and take apart Romans 13:8-10 together.

Paul writes:

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
(Romans 13:8-10)

Love is a debt. (verse 8)

Love is a debt that we will never pay-off.  As soon as we pay it, we still owe more.  It’s tempting to think after we have done something good and loving toward someone else, that we did our “good deed” for the day or week or month.  But that is not how God sees it.

How did we get into debt?

When we accepted God’s grace through faith in Christ, we freely received an outpouring of God’s love.  In return, we are commanded to love others as we love ourself.  This means we are to love believers and unbelievers and even our enemies.

So is this payment for our sins?

No, the love of God is infinite for us.  We can never repay him nor should we try or we would be removing the grace that we received through Christ’s love.  Just as God’s love is free to us – our love should be free to others. No strings attached.

It’s an interesting debt because we do not repay it to the one who gave it but rather to others who do not deserve it.

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. (1 John 3:16)

How does this one command fulfill the law? (verse 8 & 10)

In Matthew 22:34-40, we are told that the greatest commandment is to love God first and then to love our neighbor.  So in this passage, that first commandment seems to be left out.  But if we take it in the context of the entire book of Romans, we see that all of Romans is written about how much God deeply loves us. So our love for others is to spill over, from our first love – God.

Love your neighbor AS yourself (verse 9)

This is mind blowing.  After studying this section of scripture, I sat back in my chair and thought – I cannot even do this.  This is beyond me. I’m so selfish.

This is a supernatural love that only God can give us.

So let’s dissect this one statement.

1.) Love your neighbor as yourself -> We all love ourself.  

This command to love others is based on our natural love of self.

I know that there is a lot of talk about self-esteem and teaching our kids how to love themselves, but at the end of the day – none of us have to teach our kids to be selfish.  We don’t have to teach them to have cravings and desires for themselves to be loved, fed, clothed, or to seek being number one, attention or happiness.  We all have a natural drive to be happy and think of ourselves first.  Sadly, even in the case of suicide, the people hurting are thinking of themselves and are driven to put themselves out of pain.

2.) Love your neighbor as yourself – >This is not a command to stop loving ourselves.

God is not telling us – stop having all those natural needs and desires for love and food and happiness.  Instead he is saying:

3.) Love your neighbor AS yourself ->The key word is “AS”.

In the same, unstoppable way that you seek to make yourself happy in life, seek to make others happy.

In the same, unstoppable way that you seek to feed yourself, seek to feed others.

In the same, unstoppable way that you seek to be loved, love others.

In the same, unstoppable way that you seek to find comfort from your worries, comfort others.

In the same, unstoppable way that you seek to not be lonely, be a friend.

John Piper writes:

 If you are energetic in pursing your own happiness, be energetic in pursuing the happiness of your neighbor. If you are creative in pursuing your own happiness, be creative in pursuing the happiness of your neighbor. If you are persevering in pursuing your own happiness, be persevering in pursuing the happiness of your neighbor.

Is there someone you need to love better?  A friend, a spouse, a child, a co-worker or an enemy?  Me too.

May the degree of our self-seeking be the degree of our self-giving.

Walk with the King,


  1. This chapter! Wow! I love the book of Romans and I am so thankful for this study and your thoughts. “As you seek to be loved, love others” so good! I did not really think about it this way. My thoughts were more along the lines of, “Well I do not overly love myself.” But when you look at it from your perspective, there are so many times when I am selfish, and I seek love, happiness, and attention every day. I am sure that there are others who would love to have a little love and attention from me. For me to find a way to brighten their day!

    So great Courtney! Thanks!

    1. Amy,

      I was thinking almost the same thing! Much of the time, I (feel like) I don’t love myself at all, but I certainly do seek love and appreciation!


      Thanks for a new perspective of this verse that I thought I already knew well enough, lol!

  2. Courtney: You hit it right on in this blog today, as you always do! Thank you for your transparency as well. I have often said to myself “I can’t possibly love others so deeply. It’s not in me.” But then, I remember that it can only be God loving through me to help it to be possible. “As I love myself, love others.” A lot to think about today.

  3. Courtney,
    This is an eye opener for me, I never thought of this as something I was capable of…loving someone with the same desire I have to be loved! But supernaturally I can. I can’t help but think in this present day and the amount of anger and all the things going on, what a solution this would be. Maybe I’m naive, but wouldn’t this solve so many problems?
    If the “degree of our self seeking would be the degree of our self giving.”
    Thanks once again Courtney!

  4. “It’s an interesting debt because we do not repay it to the one who gave it but rather to others who do not deserve it.”

    What a great way to look at it. It’s just so dense, I feel like I need to meditate on this statement and how it should look in my life. Thank you for sharing your insight! This book could be a whole year’s study! A whole lifetime, really!

  5. This is difficult to live out, but so important. We should continue to strive to love our neighbors. Thanks for your inspiring post, and for sharing God’s Holy Word in it.

  6. I’m right there with you – how can I love my neighbor as myself? I, too, am selfish. God loves to stretch us beyond our comfort zones, doesn’t He? But He loves it when we choose to obey (and allow Him to grow us into the people He created us to be) and step out of our comfort zones in faith (and allow Him to ‘expand our borders’). Thanks for the reminder.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I accept the Privacy Policy

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.