How Are Your Friendships Affecting You?

We see in 1 Kings how as Solomon grew older, he had many wives and grew more foolish and distant from God. How are your friendships affecting you? #Biblestudy #1Kings #WomensBibleStudy #GoodMorningGirls


There’s a popular saying that goes like this:

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

Consider for a moment – who are your closest friends?  And how are your friendships affecting you?

Good friends will push you closer to Christ and towards what is good and noble, but bad friends will introduce you to new things and new ways that could lead you astray.  1 Corinthians 15:33 says:

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

Join me on today’s video, as I share about some of my friendships and their affects on me, while also taking a closer look at Solomon and his demise in 1 Kings 11.

{If you are reading this in an email or feed – click here to view the video}

Life is not stagnate. Just because we have good friends today – that does not mean that we will have good friends tomorrow.  As seasons change, some of our friendships will change as well.  So we will always have to be wise women, who pay close attention to who is influencing us.

We see in Solomon’s life that he started out well.  Actually, he started out tremendous!!!  But he did not finish well.

It was said of him:

29 And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding beyond measure, and breadth of mind like the sand on the seashore, 30 so that Solomon’s wisdom surpassed the wisdom of all the people of the east and all the wisdom of Egypt.31 For he was wiser than all other men. (1 Kings 4:29-31)

King Solomon was wiser than all the other men!!!  Yet, 1 Kings 11 tells us that this incredibly wise man made an incredibly foolish decision to intermarry with women of other faiths and his heart was led astray.  This led to the Lord’s anger and Solomon’s downfall.  I discussed all of this in the video – so I won’t rehash it here, but let me add a few thoughts on Solomon.

1.) It’s interesting to note that Solomon’s wisdom had not come from life experience. He was around the age of 18 when God gave him all of this wisdom.  He had probably lived a cozy life in the palace but his father David had to learn wisdom through his mistakes.  As David grew older, David grew wiser. As Solomon grew older, Solomon grew more foolish.

Are we learning from our mistakes and growing wiser?  We may start out well, but the question is – how will we finish?  Solomon’s downfall began with compromise.

Consider —Is there an area in your life where you feel tempted to compromise?

2.) Solomon followed in his father’s footsteps and married multiple wives.  We see in scriptures that all of the men who did this, always caused family strife and trouble.  It never ended well for them and it hurt their families, yet they continued to repeat this horrible pattern!

Look at the warning in Deuteronomy 17 to the future Kings of Israel:

15 you may indeed set a king over you whom the Lord your God will choose. One from among your brothers you shall set as king over you. You may not put a foreigner over you, who is not your brother. 16 Only he must not acquire many horses for himself or cause the people to return to Egypt in order to acquire many horses, since the Lord has said to you, ‘You shall never return that way again.’ 17 And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold.

We notice here that God had already given clear instructions to the future Kings of Israel.  They were not to multiply horses,  have excessive silver and gold or have many wives. Sadly, Solomon broke all of these commands.

Consider — is there an unwise relational pattern in your family line that needs to be broken by you?

3.)  It was in Solomon’s older age that his heart was led astray. 

For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, (1 Kings 11:4)

This is why God forbid Solomon to marry these foreign women.  God knew that these women would influence him and eventually lead him astray.

For the rest of our lives we need to guard our hearts and choose our closest friends wisely.  We will never outgrow the temptation to give in to peer pressure.

Consider — is there an area where you are currently feeling “peer pressured”?  

We are never above feeling pressured by our peers. Even now as a mom of teenagers, I find myself looking around at other moms and how they parent.  Sometimes I feel uncertain of my decisions and I don’t want to fall short. When I hear that  “everyone else’s mom” is letting their children do certain things – I feel pressured to allow it as well.  I have to remember, to follow my convictions — not the crowd — and that’s not always easy to do.

At the end of the day, all of our wisdom that we gain over the years is of little worth if we are not able to apply the wisdom we have, inside of our friendships.

May we learn from Solomon’s mistakes and may we learn from our own past mistakes. And may we be women who choose our closest friendships wisely.

Let’s finish well!

Walk with the King,


  1. Was the command to not have many wives only for Kings? Because I think of Jacob married to both Leah and Rachel, and that their children were the heads of the Israeli tribes

    1. Yes, the command was only for the Kings but from the beginning (Genesis) God always intended for marriage to only be between one man and one wife. While God used the sons of Leah and Rachel (along with their two handmaidens son’s- Bilpah and Zilhah) to be the heads of the 12 tribes of Israel, it was not without hurt and strife in the home. Leah was jealous of Rachel because Jacob loved her more and the sons hated Joseph.
      Dysfunctional families are all through out the Old Testament as a result of polygamy.

      At the start of 1 Kings, we saw Adonijah exalt himself to be the next King after David (1 Kings 1:5) rather than Solomon. Commentaries say that Adonijah was David’s oldest son from one of David’s other wives. That is why there was confusion and the people followed him. Solomon was the oldest son of Bathsheba and the one that David anointed to be the next king. But again this caused strife in their home.

      We see in the New Testament that just as it was from creation, marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman.

      I hope that better explains it.

      Lots of Love,
      Courtney 🙂

  2. Unfortunately I do not have really have any close friendships now in my life. Outside of relations I have within my church and I feel alone. I only have my daughter as a close friend.

  3. Wow! Wow! I so wish every teen girl could hear this (mother of teen girls can you tell?). It is so very hard to resist “the crowd”…even as an adult it can be. I homeschool and am constantly comparing myself to other moms…this hit home and thank you for that.

  4. I don’t even have one close friend. It bothers me. I’m not sure why, but I just can’t connect with others. I have nothing to say, even though my heart is big. I am in my 50s and literally do not have a single good, close friend. And no hope of it changing.

    1. The Lord Jesus Christ is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. Sometimes that is enough. Apart from the Saviour, I’ve always found that my best friends are my husband, my mum and my daughter.

    2. I find these blogs, soak’s, and comments on FB and here warmly connecting. Everyone seems so kind and gentle. Many seem very open in their sharing (like you). I find this heartwarming and for me, seems to help dissipate or prevent loneliness. I guess we humans are social creatures and most of us don’t do well isolating. I pray the Lord connects your big heart with an expressive, tongue… may He give you the gift of conversation and small talk and opportunities to share and relate..

    3. Also, I’m thinking we go through different seasons in life. I’ve had long seasons of no close friends… this season, it’s taken me awhile but I have a few close friends.

  5. Are generational curses still in effect once we are in Christ Jesus? I’ve been taught once we are under the blood, old things pass away.

  6. 1.) It’s interesting to note that Solomon’s wisdom had not come from life experience. He was around the age of 18 when God gave him all of this wisdom. He had probably lived a cozy life in the palace but his father David had to learn wisdom through his mistakes. As David grew older, David grew wiser. As Solomon grew older, Solomon grew more foolish.

    I thought this interesting. David had to live life and make his mistakes to gain wisdom – feel plenty of pain like touching a hot iron… whereas his son Solomon was gifted with an abundance of wisdom without going through negative experiences. Maybe hard-earned wisdom is easier kept… learned from our mistakes. Maybe Solomon began pondering on “what he’s missed out on in life…” starting his reign at such a young age… Jesus says to take all thoughts captive; sin starts out first as a thought…

  7. Hi Courtney,
    Thank you for walking us through the Bible. It’s been such a blessing to be doing Kings in BSF alongside of your study.
    I was reading this post and saw you used Deut 14 :15-17 as God’s warning to the Kings not to take multiple wives, but Deut 14 is actually talking about clean and unclean food. Would you mind giving us the verse you had in mind regarding the warning to the Kings.
    Thank you so much,

    1. Hi Tiffany,

      Thank you for catching that – I had the wrong chapter reference – it’s from Deuteronomy 17! So sorry about that.

      Lots of Love,
      Courtney 🙂

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