In the past year, some attitudes have arrived in our home that are very unwelcomed!
So I’ve thought about what I’m doing right - the children are well fed, well clothed, hugged and kissed, their parents have a strong marriage and we never miss a Sunday of church. We read the Bible regularly and they are homeschooled. They get plenty of toys and candy lol! and we always have a listening ear. Hmph! What’s the deal???
There is one specific area I feel like I’m failing in – training.
My strength as a mom is in the teaching area. I am always teaching my children God’s truth – we read and memorize God’s word together regularly. When they are in time-out we go over scripture. They are fully taught and know exactly what is expected of them.
My weakness is in the area of training. Teaching and training cannot be used interchangably.
Teaching is giving my children the information they need to succeed.
But training is giving my children the discipline to carry out what they have been taught.
I’ve identified a few behaviors that are habits in our children’s lives. Essentially they are sinful strongholds. My children have become slaves to their habits and they will not be broken through my teaching but through my training.
Romans 7:18b-25 tells us about this struggle with strongholds that we ALL face:
“For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So here is how we are currently working on poor attitudes in our home.
1. When a child rolls their eyes, yells, or scowls - I say “repeat yourself without.. the eyes rolling, loud voice or scowl.”
2. If the words they said were inappropriate – I ask them to “say it again but this time with respect“.
3. When a child slams a door, I ask them to open the door and try again – this time closing it gentler. If it takes us 10 times to get that door closed correctly – then that is what we have to do.
Sometimes tempers flare in our home – let me be honest – disrespect makes me angry. The anger I feel is not wrong – it’s a red flag notifying me that my children are off course…but if I respond with anger - I won’t be much of an example to my children.
My children will only be as disciplined with their emotions as I am with mine.
So I want to humbly share my journey with you. Training takes time – lots of time. But Titus 2 calls me to be a manager of my home. I need to step it up, and get on my knees in prayer – because this battle will not be won in my own strength. I need Jesus’ help in my home.
**For those who journey ahead of me with older children (or beside me and are experiencing this) - I am all ears. How do you handle bad attitudes or “back talk”?
Walk with the King,