Dealing With Bad Attitudes Part 2 & WLWW Link-Up Party

Your response to yesterday’s post titled “Dealing With Bad Attitudes“, reminded me how universal many struggles are in motherhood.  You and I are walking the same road.

I am reminded that as hard as we try as mamas…the outcome is not guaranteed.  God was the perfect Father to Adam and Eve.  Adam and Eve had the perfect environment and yet – when tempted – they fell.  They chose to rebel 🙁 .  And it wasn’t God’s parenting that was the problem – but rather the hearts of his children.

It is not possible for us to perfectly parent our children…and it’s dangerous to think that we can.  The danger lies in thinking that we don’t need God to touch our children’s hearts to help them obey His word.

We must remember to be moms who pray pray pray and obey obey obey.

This quote, from the book “Womanly Dominion”, says it all,

“I know that self-sacrificial, servant hearted mothering is no air-tight guarantee of the salvation of all of our offspring. But the path of obedience is the way to blessing. We have only to do as the servants were commanded at the marriage feast in Cana, to fill the water pots with water, and we may safely leave it to the Lord to turn that water into wine.”

My parenting struggles have led me to my knees more times than I could ever count.  It is comforting to remember that the God I pray to, is the one who turned water into wine.  He changes things!

So today, as we wrestle to raise our children in the admonition of the Lord, I encourage you to pray and obey God’s word and then trust God – allow him to do a miracle in your children’s hearts.

Walk with the King,

It’s Women Living Well’s Wednesday Link-Up Party Time!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don’t forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (Posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

To find the code go to the sidebar – or right click and “save as” the button and then upload it into your post! 🙂



  1. thank you for sharing….I recently downloaded your ebook and I love it. it is so encouraging to me right now in the place that I am in! Thank you for your faithfulness in your ministry to helping us woman live well!! you are truely a blessing to me and I thank God for you! May the Lord bless thee, and keep thee, may the Lord make His face to shine upon you and give you peace.

    Love you sis!
    Blessings and Grace to you!

  2. Indeed, the best thing we can do is to ask God’s HELP to change the hearts and attitudes of our children (and ours, too!), praying incessantly and unrelentingly. For our family, it helps a lot also to have a regular Bible reading and discussion, talking about the words of the Lord Jesus. This is also a good way to discuss and resolve problems, to open up our hearts, to correct our children and to encourage one another.


  3. Yes indeed Courtney! I agree that moms need to pray and pray and pray! One reason is because the enemy really wants to get our children!

  4. I had a horrible attitude develop yesterday afternoon. Thankfully I recognized it and hit the bed for a few moments to regain composure, pray and ask forgiveness.

    We ended up having a wonderful night after that ~ family campfire and all!

  5. Thank you for your encouragement. Yes, it takes a miracle. And we don’t often realize just how much of a miracle it is!

    One thing that sweetens the home atmosphere and that helps us be good moms is not being overwhelmed by finances and other aspects of our lives.

    I linked up a review of a very worthwhile book. Crystal, the Money-Saving Mom, addresses budgeting in the broader context of a mom managing her goals, her time, her home, and her attitude. The Money Saving Mom’s Budget is a beautiful book and will help any woman deal with the nitty gritty more easily so that her home will be more peaceful.

  6. Thank you so much for the awesome party! I love all the inspiration here. And thank for this series on teaching our children when they have bad attitudes. The past two days have been so tough with my three year old! I felt so discouraged yesterday I almost cried. And I know I yelled. Boy, was I convicted by your statement that we can hardly teach them self-control with their emotions if we can’t keep our own in check! That was just the message I believe God wanted for my heart as we start our day!

    I hope you and others will also join my weekly linky party called Destination: Inspiration on Teagan’s Travels. It’s going on now!


  7. Courtney, one thing I love about your posts, is how you never say you can do it all…how you always point to God. This week, as I worked through Ephesians, more and more it hit me…how my attitude will impact my children. While they are responsible for their own hearts, I have to maintain mine with the Father. Thank you for this….and your many words of encouragement.

  8. I read your post from yesterday this morning along with this one and my heart is somehow both broken and soothed from your words. We are struggling with “attitude” with our 7 year old daughter and it’s a constant struggle for me to keep my temper as well as to correct her. I struggle with how to explain what the problem is–what the heart issue is behind the eye rolling and the sighing and the slacking off on effort for chores, schoolwork, whatever the task is…the shoulder slumping, the grumbling spirit, the defiant eyes…it’s so much more complicated than just “do what you’re told.” And I sort of feel like it’s more important than just obedience too. You can’t just be obedient in your actions, you also have to be obedient in your heart. I find myself on my knees a lot too! 🙂

    But while praying at bedtime with my daughter the other day, completely independently she asked God to forgive her for sassing her momma and dad and help her to have a good attitude tomorrow. And I thought–all we can do is pray and give it to God–and I felt filled with hope again.

  9. I put this quote on my facebook page – “I am reminded that as hard as we try as mamas…the outcome is not guaranteed. God was the perfect Father to Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve had the perfect environment and yet – when tempted – they fell. They chose to rebel . And it wasn’t God’s parenting that was the problem – but rather the hearts of his children.”

    I know some women who need to hear it. We so often are too hard on ourselves when our kids fall from following God as teens or adults although we recall how fervently they loved the Lord as kids. But I have learned that many kids are following the parents fervor, not the Lord’s heart and they need to find their faith in their own way and we need to follow and believe in the promises of God that when we raise them up they will not depart – so we have the promise they will return to the Father’s heart. Excellent post!

  10. Just had to come back today. Like the above comment mentioned we “older” women should help the younger women, Well, I have been married almost 20 years and I have 6 children – 14 years old down to 14 months old. Does this qualify me as “older”? Anyway, I am still discouraged by some of the comments. If you have a 2 or 3 year old that is “out of hand” or a 7 year old that tells you “no” flat out and you are not promptly using proper biblical discipline – there is your problem. Yes we have to check our own hearts and we are sinners – but so are our children! They are sinners just like us, and they are in our care by the blessing of the Lord. They are His and he calls us to care for them discipline them according to his word. We can’t not discipline them just because we feel guilty about our own sin. No matter what – we are called to obey God. That is how children learn that there are no excuses. God is in control, but we have our responsibilities as parents. Children are instructed in the Bible to obey – more than once and it is stated plainly. “Feel good’ parenting will only get you so far and just scratches the surface. Biblical parenting will help you get to your child’s heart, which is where sin starts. We can’t fall in to the weakness around us like the world has. Don’t fail your children. Chastise them as God commands (yes – COMMANDS). I say again – spanking is not hitting or abuse and it should not include anger or yelling. Done properly and in love – it’s effective, and again – straight from the word of God. Don’t make excuses for yourself or your children – we are raising the next generation of believers in a fallen world – be strong and dilligent all in the beautiful name of Jesus!

    1. Elle,
      Perhaps the confusion is a common myth: that being a gentle parent means that parent is not directing their child in obedience. The truth is, we DO direct them, we DO train them. In our family we do not hit our children in response to their choices, yet this in no way implies we fail to train, to teach, to bring them to obedience. We just get there on a different path.
      Please, I implore you to show mercy to us, and to other mamas you may encounter who have chosen different parenting tools. We are seeking God’s way with our little ones just like you. Our desire to be Godly, loving parents, to be passionate, and obedient to God’s commands are no less than your own.
      We may be failing to use tools that you feel are necessary, but we are not failing our children.
      I have been deeply moved by two Scriptures recently. First is Matthew 21: 28-32
      The first son refused his father’s request outright. Yet, Jesus points out that it is This son who is ultimately obedient, and does his father’s will. His heart, although initially non-compliant, directs him to do what is right. Perhaps saying no is not a sin.
      Another one that is deeply challenging is Balaam’s donkey. As I read the story, I was struck by the similarities to many parenting advice – he beat his donkey increasingly to get it to do what he was commanding it to. Yet, the donkey had a different need – specifically not to be cut in two. Balaam could not see or understand the refusal. It was hidden from him initially. And God chastised him for punishing his donkey for being obedient to an invisible impetus. How often do we demand unquestioning obedience from a being created by God (child or beast), while their God-given hearts/beings/wills are being crushed or cut in two? We will never know.
      So, as far as I can, I am seeking to hear my child’s unspoken words in their “no.” To look again, and respect that they see that which they were made to see, to seek that which they were made to seek, yet in their youth are not able to see beyond themselves. It is my job to see beyond myself, and to work with the needs of my children while still seeking to meet our goals.

  11. Thank you for this post. It is such a refreshing, grace-filled, God-centered post. I have been blessed to have older women/mamas to mentor me. I am also careful to weed out mamas that would “teach” me with verbage which directs me to be harsher, or stricter, or… [insert preferred approach] more. Instead, I devote myself to learn from the ones who teach me to love my children and husband. I already know how to selfishly demand more from others (and how tempting to do that to my children!). What I need most are mamas who help me to look to God to be my strength to show my children mercy and gentleness; to seek to be all that God calls me to be. By submitting my inner growth to God, I find that I give my children’s growth and being to Him also. From that place, I learn to love them as He loves me – just as I am. We are all then free to be challenged, discipled, in how to grow to become more like Him – in His time, and all our attitudes are changed. The behaviors that follow are those which pour from their hearts responding in love.

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