Your Children Will Tell Your Story

 

I JUST finished my book last weekend and turned it into the publisher.  Woohoo! ;) Now I wait for them to let me know their thoughts on the content and their editorial changes. 

In the book, I talk a lot about my childhood and how my parents raised me.  I tell my mother’s story of salvation and much about her walk with God that influenced my walk with God. 

I tell my mother’s story.

“We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.” ~ Psalm 78:4

As I reflect on my writings, sometimes mom and I laugh because she does not remember the stories the way I do. My childlike perspective is different from her adult one.   

The influence of a mother.

I’ve sat across tables from many women who have shared with me the wounds their mother has inflicted on them from harsh words or being absent. 

The influence of a mother.

Have you ever thought – one day your children will tell your story…from their childlike perspective. 

What will be your story?

I’ve written a lot about my life on this blog…I feel like I’ve told my story…but the reality is there are two sides to every story.

One day - MY kids – they will tell MY story. 

They will tell others I had a __________(fill in the blank) mom. She was always ________________.  She did ______________________ everyday.  She ___________and__________________ and _________________________.  This is how I feel about her now- __________________________.

Will those blanks be filled in with the words that say - she loved and listened and laughed and lived courageously lifting her prayers up faithfully for the family or will they say she yelled and was tired and was stressed and was distracted by her computer.

 They will tell my story and their story will be my truth.

You see many of the minor things I share now in my book, that my mother did – my mom has long forgotten but they are ingrained on my soul forever.  What minor things am I doing that are life changers for my kids.  It’s the little things that seem insignificant that make up the days of our lives.

I encourage you today to ask your kids to fill in these blanks –to get a temperature for how you are doing in the home and how you are being perceived.  Of course, sometimes mommies are unpopular for not letting the kids eat candy and play all day long and as a result they may say something negative –that’s not what I’m talking about here.  This is about getting to the heart of the matter and giving our kids a safe haven and a place where they can be honest, so we can hear their truth.

Ask your children to tell you your story.  Listen. Learn. Love.

Walk with the King,

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Oh friend. I love these words. I am so proud of you and of the story you are writing on your children’s hearts. You are a blessing and a gift to them and I’m so thankful for your words here.
    Love Kristen

  2. Great post, Courtney! It’s definitely a sobering thought as I know that I fail so many times, but I pray that my boys will grow up and look back and be able to see something positive, and to say that my husband and I pointed them toward God and showed them love and guidance.

  3. Renee Minto says:

    I believe that being a mother is a very humbling experience. It will expose what is inside of you, the good the bad and the ugly. God has blessed my husband and I with five children, four are grown and one placed with us by God and still at home. I pray the story my children would write would be filled with sweet memories of parents who love God and them with all their hearts. Blessings to you, Renee :)

  4. Such truth in these words, Courtney. So thankful for you tonight, my friend!

  5. Amazing that you would write this today. In my quiet time this morning, I actually wrote about what I hope is the legacy I leave my girls, and prayed that they will see those things I inetend to pass on to them. Great post- especially thought provoking for me:-)

  6. As always awesome post, cant wait for the book =)

  7. What a humbling and convicting post. Blessings to you.

  8. Yes, humbling.
    Thank you for being REAL, consistent, and such an inspiration!

  9. I really loved this post, and especially when you said that “their story will be my truth”. I have a great relationship with my own mom, though when I was younger I remember her as being angry. And I’ve hear her mention that though she was abused by her father, she remembers him as “loving” and her mother as angry. I find myself screaming too much and I’m desperately trying to break the cycle – only through God’s grace and my humbling reminders of my need for it. Thanks for sharing this.

  10. I loved these words. It’s so true! Children often see things from such a different perspective. Congratulations on your book! I’m looking forward to reading it :-)

  11. What a powerful post. So encouraging to be reminded of what we are imprinting on our little people!!

  12. Congratulations on finishing your book Courtney. It sounds really interesting and looking forward to it being published.

    Quote Courtney: “It’s the little things that seem insignificant that make up the days of our lives.”

    This so reminds me of something I wrote on my own blog today. It is indeed the seemingly insignificant and little things which make up our lives and indeed our ministry to our families and those whom we come into contact with re: work, Internet, etc.

    In the short time I have been blogging over on E-1-A and linking with your weekly link ups, you have proved to be a big influence regarding being faithful in the little things to which God has called you and now you are being trusted with greater things for His glory. Praise God for your patient and persevering witness and testimony in the world of Blog.

  13. WOW, what a powerful message! Thanks for this reminder!

  14. Oh this is soo good and soo humbling! My biggest goal in life is to lead my kids toward Christ through my example and it would be crushing to know I was doing the opposite in their eyes:( thank you for the great reminder and yes there is great truth in the fact that moms and kids remember events very differently down the road lol! Love ya girl!

  15. Hi Courtney,
    This post is so very true! God told me to write “My Story” in a legacy scrapbook form and tell the story of my life for my children and grandchildren. My youngest son is 26 and my eldest is 36 years old. I have 5 grandchildren. So, my family is much older than yours is right now, but obviously, God wants this story of my life, my parents and grandparents, in their lives. My children are all following the Lord. It is vitally important to see the bigger picture when raising kids; that you are raising them for God’s purposes. To not take this seriously, is a big mistake.
    You’re on the right track with this post and I appreciate your blog posts with such encouraging messages for mothers as they raise their children. Blessings to you on your new book!

  16. One of my friends posted this on her Facebook, and I am so glad I followed the link! This is something I needed to read this morning. My first child is due on Thursday, October 11. I pray I remember this throughout my journey of being a mom.

    God bless you!

  17. As a grandmother, my advice is: Strive for your highest ideals every single day. Young mothers today are told not to worry about being perfect, that everyone messes up. Yes, we do; but that should within the context of our attempts to uphold the ideals of Christian womanhood every single day. I seriously doubt the Proverbs 31 woman ever said to others, “I have PMS today, so you will have to excuse me that I am irritable, grumpy and basically abusive toward you.” We must be aware of our effect on others every single minute. We should be cheerful when we don’t feel like it, kind when we feel irritable, sweet when we feel otherwise. Moment to moment, we must submit every mood, every stray thought to the Lord, asking Him to take our pitiful, petulant selves and mold us into the woman He wants us to be. Do this early, while you are still young. Then one day your children will sing your praises because they were blessed with a mom who was a source of joy in their childhood.

    • I love your comment here. Have read it many times, and even saved it on my ipad notes. Thank you for the encouragement and honesty! It will bless many women and children, at least if none other than me and mine! :) God bless you!

    • This is perhaps the most profound thing I have ever read and cuts right to the heart for me. I have recopied this in my prayer journal and will be referring back to it often. Thanks for the sage words, now I pray by His mercy I can follow them.

  18. I feel like God asked you to write this book just for me!

    As my husband and I pray through whether God is calling us into parenthood, one thing we feel we need is a model of what Christian parenting “looks like” since neither of us were raised in Christian homes. I think your book will help provide that, and I can’t wait to read it.

  19. I’m not consistent in reading your blog, and so I feel that it was coordinated by God that I read your post today. “she yelled and was tired and was stressed and was distracted by her computer” – WOW, gut-wrenching line. Praying for the Spirit to CHANGE me, and mold me into the mother HE so desires me to be, the momma my kids NEED me to be! Thank you for sharing this!

  20. Carissa Huffman says:

    This brought a tear to my eye. I want my story from my son to be great. I want to work harder to be the best for him.

    Thank you for making me think this morning.

    Carissa in eastern Iowa

  21. Congrats on the book, Courtney! Your blog today is so timely. Between my four sons and 2 of my daughters-in-love, we lost 3 grandmothers this week. As I spoke with family members and we discussed the loss of mothers, I said “that our mothers are the only ones who know our whole story”, but now after reading your post, I realize I was sooooo wrong. If we communicate with our children (in words, in love and in action), they will be able to tell our story! Thank you for helping me to become a better wife, mother, grandmother, MIL, sister, daughter….You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!!! Happy Columbus Day!

  22. Powerful and honestly, scare me a bit. I hope and pray that my children can see my heart and desire for Jesus and for them.

  23. Love this post! I’ve been feeling very convicted lately to be a better mom, and this was an encouragement. I even shared this story on my blog today!

  24. Thank you Courtney. You Mum was a real encouragement and blessing in your childhood. My story is very different… A childhood fraught with aggression, violence and alcoholism. We were the family in the neighbourhood that were known to Social Services and the police and yet by the grace of God, most of us are now Christians. I am married to a Pastor and praise God for my childhood; it has given me a great passion for families. I am determined that my children will know what it is to be raised in a loving home so I can truly praise God for my childhood and have known His healing power to transform lives.
    Julie

  25. I just have one son, who is 8. I’m curious to see what he thinks. He did make me a card Friday in art class at school. On the front it said “I Love You Mom”. The inside told of what our plans were for that Friday night, going to Red Lobster with my family to celebrate my Dad’s upcoming birthday. He’ll be 71 on Friday and suffered a massive heart attack at the end of August this year so we are blessed he is still alive to celebrate with us. We dont go to Red Lobster often because my husband doesn’t like seafood or the smell of seafood even though you can find him out on Lake Erie fishing for perch and walleye! lol

    Can’t wait to read your book!

  26. First things first, congrats on submission of your book. So exciting! I imagine a lot more hard work ahead on that front but no doubt this is going to be something I’d love to read.

    Now regarding what story my children will say. Oh my goodness, when you suggested my kids might say I yelled and was exhausted and was distracted by the computer, well that hit me at my core. I don’t know the answer my children would say. One being 6 and the other almost 2. But my gut says I do yell too much and I DO NOT want my boys to remember me in THAT way, Oh God, no. I have certainly put aside distractions many times so I could be present for my boys, I’m intentional about that, but the yelling…. I need a whole lot of help with that. It’s something I’ve been aware of for some time, but you have made me look again at this.

  27. Just had to let you know that after reading your post, I sat and ate lunch with my preschooler with no phone or other electronic distractions, thanks for the reminder to put first things first :-)

  28. LOL! So, I asked my 8 year old and 6 year old to fill in the blanks. Keep in mind that I homeschool them and we have a new baby.
    8yr: I have a _tired_ mom. She was always _sleeps_. She _takes a nap_ everyday. She _slept_and_slept_ and _slept_. This is how I feel about her now- _wonderful!
    6 yr: I have a _nice_mom. She was always _taught us_. She _took a nap_ everyday. She _tortured_and_tortured__ and _tortured me with school__. This is how I feel about her now- _she’s mean_.
    :)

  29. Alanna Rich says:

    Today I searched how to deal with stress full neighbors on You Tube. I found a video of you sharing about dealing with difficult people and it was brilliant & exactly what I needed to hear. I then was led to your site here, where I feel I’ve found a very use full link to help me get through these increasingly harder days. I’ve also stumbled upon “the Better Mom.” It’s all God’s will I’m quite certain of it. Thank you Courtney for sharing your gifts. I’ve a great full heart for having discovered your web pages. Love from a little island off the coast of Maine.

  30. Thank you for this!!!

  31. Courtney, such a convicting post! I’m rather afraid to ask my daughters to fill in those blanks.I made a lot of mistakes as a young mother. You are so right, some things are etched forever in their minds and hearts. Thank God for grace! I am now trying to do it better with my youngest,almost six.

    Thank you so much for this reminder and congrats on finishing the book…cant wait to read it!

  32. I always love reading your posts…they are so eye-opening and uplifting. Thank you for taking so much time to minister to so many moms. Your words always touch my heart!

  33. Courtney, this was so thought-provoking! Thank you for sharing the impact your mom had on your life and how you viewed it differently from the way she did. I spend several days mulling over what you said and I even wrote my own post about it.
    http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2012/10/my-story.html
    Thanks for the time you take to write here!
    Lisa

I love hearing what is on your heart.

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