When You Are Embarrassed
A friend asks “What’s the book about?” and I swallow hard. Almost embarrassed that I would even think of writing a book. I mean really – what could I possibly say that I have not already said on my blog? And why would I sell something. For 5 years, everything with my ministry has been free…then all of a sudden I’m holding a conference and selling a book. This is new behavior for me. And I get a negative email from someone who says they’ve followed my blog for years and I’ve changed and she is not pleased I am selling anything…and my heart sinks – kind of embarrassed.
And so I answer my friend, “the book is about your walk with God, marriage, parenting and homemaking. More of the same I guess.” and it’s awkward so we drop the subject.
And someone else from my church last week messages me and asks how the book writing is going and I don’t know how to answer her. The writing is long done –and the book should be arriving in stores any day now (obviously she doesn’t read here so it’s safe to refer to this email lol! I hope 😉 ha! ). And I gulp, do I admit that the book is available now – she can read it now.
Am I really ready for people to read my words?
Words I can never ever take back.
They are permanently in print. Permanent. Scary.
And I wonder what I wrote that could be a lightening rod…fear wells up in my soul.
And some sweet girls on the launch team with advance copies are transparent when they write to me:
“I must admit that before reading this book, I thought it was going to be a “look at me, I am the perfect wife and mother and you should be exactly like me”, and I was pleasantly surprised that it is not!”
Then another agrees as she writes:
“When I was getting ready to begin I kinda thought the same thing, a book to teach us our faults and what to change but it’s completely different. The book while reading and praying actually allows the Lord to correct your heart and step on your toes. I am enjoying this book so much and I have a hard time putting it down at night because I want to be the wife and mommy that the Lord wants me to be. Thank you Courtney for allowing God to use you to help us.”
And my heart sinks imagining that people think this book is about me… –being perfect. No a million times NO! I am so very far from being the perfect wife or mother but I want to point to the perfect one – the Great I AM and say – He – He alone can help us be wives and mothers for his glory!
And when my husband and I wrote a list of pros and cons before signing the book contract, this was one of the cons. Writing a book could appear prideful and make those in my “real life” think, –I think more highly of myself than I ought. We are all flawed…is anyone really worthy of writing a book on these topics…and I feel a cringe of embarrassment when I admit to “real life” friends, I wrote a book.
I stand at the post office with a stack of little boxes of books to mail. The mail man asks if there’s anything breakable, flammable or needing insurance inside. I shake my head no. He is curious and he asks what’s inside all those boxes. I say:
and then under my breath I add – “that I wrote“.
“What’s the book about“, he asks?
“Marriage and family”.
“What could you know about marriage and family – you are so young. You know my wife left me, she was an alcoholic and a ….” on and on he goes. I turn pink – a little embarrassed. I mention my faith and he seems even more annoyed and I squirm just wishing he’d get those labels on the boxes quicker. Everyone in line is listening- it’s just awkward. He’s done. We leave.
I’m back – back at the post office again – with more books to mail to reviewers and there he is again.
“Oh the girl that writes on marriage.” I’m pink again…and so it goes over and over each time I go to the post office. Did I mention I have to go to the post office again tomorrow with 2 books to mail…fun.
My children are practicing their presentations for their homeschool group and they want to share that their mom wrote a book. “Hmmmmm…I’m not sure that’s a great idea kids. Not everyone in the group knows that I have a blog…it might be best that they find out from a different source rather than you kind of announcing it in your presentation. ” They insist. Obviously they are not embarrassed. I cringe.
In one week – the book will be out in stores and arriving in the homes of those who pre-ordered it and I have all sorts of feelings I’ve never really felt before.
Well, I did feel this feeling once before – 15 years ago when I led one of my first Bible studies I was a nervous wreck. I remember blurting out to the circle of 30 women starring at me – “I’m nervous”.
A woman I did not know from across the room spoke into the awkward silence – “that’s pride.”
She was right.
So if I’m proud of writing the book – that’s pride – and if I’m embarrassed of writing the book – that’s pride and if I’m scared of what people are going to think of the book or me – that’s pride.
Well then I guess I’m struggling with some serious pride here today friends. Will you pray for me?
I’m not an emotional person typically…but the stress of homeschooling, my husband’s work schedule and the book launch has made me overly emotional…and easily teary. Sometimes I think my tears are literally my fears streaming down my face.
And I flip through my old prayer journal to the day that God laid on my heart and my husband’s heart the idea to start a blog back in 2008 – never did I dream I’d be sharing a picture of my chicken scratch. As I prayed and prayed over this dream – only one thing stood in the way of my fingers tapping on the keyboard.
Finally in frustration I wrote across the top of the page these words:
Lord, help me to not give way to fear. Give me courage for the days ahead.
Sweet friend, are you scared about something in your life? Are you pursuing something that you are almost embarrassed to admit to family and friends?
I am reminded this week as I tremble in fear – God’s got this.
God’s got this.
“Not by might nor by power,but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.”
Walk with the King,
I wish I was there to give you a reassuring hug! I am so enjoying your book and of being a part of the launch team! I am so excited to see what God does with your obedience to His calling to write a book.
You are so precious! We all feel so unworthy and unqualified when the God of the universe uses us to teach others or speak on His behalf. You have great courage sweet sister. God will get the glory. Be blessed, God chose YOU.
I am happy you wrote a book! I absolutely loved it and I have read your blog for a long time. I learned a lot of new things about you, from you, and we can all continue to learn from each other. I loved how you shared you faults and were so open with us. We learn from each other’s faults. You did a great job, Courtney, and I know it was probably a big sacrifice of your time to write it. Many women are going to be blessed by reading it.
When I published my first book, “My Best Friends Have Hairy Legs,” under a pen name it was because I was afraid. I was pouring my heart out about my life and overcoming abusive relationships. I wanted to share my story because I knew I wasn’t the only one who had ever been in those situations and I wanted to reach out with my words to either comfort someone who was struggling in one, or encourage someone who had left one.
I don’t know that feeling embarrassed about my books is always pride. I have the covers on my blog page and occasionally ask friends and family to share the word about them, but for the most part, I don’t promote them … because I’m embarrassed to own the title of “author.” Because I feel unworthy to compare myself to those whose words I have read and admired.
I’m in the process of beginning another book which I plan to title “By His Grace” and publish it under my own name, and my husband’s name, because it is our story of how God has worked in our lives this past year to save our lives and restore our marriage. To redeem us by miracles that could only have been His hand. And I’m not embarrassed to share that, or our story, because I feel that it is for His glory.
You should not feel embarrassed for the words that God put on your heart to share your walk with Him. It may be considered prideful, but you should feel proud to be a daughter of God who is not embarrassed or ashamed to wear His love and share it.
You have a gift, given by Him. There is nothing embarrassing or prideful about that.
You are so right! Being prideful and acknowledging Gods gifts in us are two totally separate things. And yes, if God put it in your heart, why be embarrassed about what He told you to write about?
Courtney I have been following your blog for a few years now and I was so excited to hear you we’re writing a book and now I can’t wait to read it! God has used you mightily in my life, in my marriage. I just want to say I have never ever felt you were prideful, I feel you are a woman like everyone else that wants to live her life for the Lord. Thank you for being honest and showing no fear in your posts and videos. Many others would want to sugar coat and you don’t, you’re real and I honestly thank you for that. God bless you!
I read your posts all the time and think, “Wow, we are very alike!” I totally would feel the same way and I know fear is a lot of times what keeps us from doing what God wants. Thank you for being obedient! And yes, I will pray that God will bring peace to your heart. Your heart is pure before The Lord. I can tell.
Any time we step out for the Lord, the enemy is going to attack us relentlessly. You’re obviously not prideful, or you wouldn’t be so tormented with embarrassment.
I don’t think being nervous means you are prideful… to me it means you care about other people and how you might impact them, just like at the Bible study. You want to do good job because this matters to you so much and you care so much about God and other people. As you mention, it seems like the feedback you’ve gotten concludes that *anything* you do, feel, or think means you are prideful. I hope you find some peace and can distance yourself from some of this criticism. I think one of the toughest things in life is figuring out which voices to listen to and which to tune out… I know I am constantly trying to figure this out! (I can be anxious too, so I do understand.)
Courtney, I agree with Jennifer…I don’t think being nervous means you’re prideful. Feeling nervous is perfectly normal and can be a good thing actually. I hope just like Jennifer above said you find peace and distance from criticism. I’m excited for you and celebrating with you all God is doing! 🙂
I am praying for you. I just want to encourage you! You have been such a blessing to me and to my marriage. I started reading your blog a few years ago, and God has used your blog to grow me in ways I didn’t even know I needed growing at the beginning! You have such a gift of sharing God’s wisdom with such a sweet and humble heart. I don’t believe you are prideful at all. You are always pointing your readers to Christ! I am confident He will be glorified by your book, too! Thank you for being obedient to our Lord!
I don’t think nervousness means you’re prideful either. You put yourself into the book it’s natural to feel nervous people will judge, it opens the door for negativity and for the devil to try to attack you through it. You will also hear positive comments. Who wouldn’t be nervous? What you did takes faith and it’s not prideful it’s courageous.
As for selling your words, if she didn’t want to pay she could continue to read your blog and not buy the book. People are cheap or maybe I should say frugal.
Amen! to what Lesley said. 🙂
Yes, I agree with Lesley too. Being nervous isn’t the same as being prideful. It’s being human. And by the way, saying, “That’s pride,” to someone? Well, that’s condemnation. So looks like we are all in that same “human” boat. 😉
Oh Courtney, how I wish I could reach through the screen and squeeze your hand and give you a big hug. You are stepping out big for your King and the enemy is working overtime.
I’ve been a somewhat regular reader for gosh, four or five years. Not once have you come across as prideful. I’ve seen you at the first Allume Conferene (called Relevant then) and last year at She Speaks. To me, your spirit radiates with love for the Lord and humility.
And for that grouchy man at the post office? You just smile and say “God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called.”
I am going to be praying for you.
Praying for you courtney. Your book is a tool that god wants
To use…you just happen to be the vessel! When god is prepari g you for greater things you will feel emotional because it appears
Larger than you feel equipped. These are growing pains
Praying for you! Can’t wait ’till my copy of your book arrives! I personally like to brag when someone I know writes a book! And, you were the first Christian blogger I tapped into. Tonight at church Pastor asked for praises. One of my praises was the internet – because I am so encouraged and I have grown so much because of blogs like yours and GMG and many others. So – I personally say thank you for EVERY part of your ministry.
I am sooo proud of you!!! Uh, oh, now I’m the one with the problem of pride! God is gracious and you are one blessed woman. I can’t WAIT to see what He is going to do with the book and I’m so thrilled to have read an advance copy!! Can’t wait to post my review this week! (are there enough exclamation points in this post?) 🙂
Oh my word. The farther I read through this, the harder it seemed to be to breathe. My heart beat harder. Tears pricked my eyes. I can SO relate! I can relate so much, it affected me physically to read this! I’m not writing a book …
I’m so embarrassed to tell others that I write a blog (2 actually). For all the reasons you’ve outlined above, I can’t even bring myself to pray about writing a BOOK. A book?!? Sister, that is SCARY stuff!!! You’re so right … we can’t take the words back if they’re printed, in ink, in a book. Once it’s done, it’s done. And then we’re supposed to TELL people about the book?!? Who made up these crazy rules??
Blessings to you for restful sleep and a great homeschooling week!
First, I will pray for you.
Second, tomorrow when you go to that post office ask the Holy Spirit to ready your heart to speak to that man. There is a reason you keep coming to his window and he keeps asking. God gives us these big things that open up moments for ministry. Offer him a copy. Or just speak the truth to him about how God can go beyond all that hurt and give him a wonderful life.
I know where you are, God gave me a job a few years ago and I still stand here asking God why he wanted me to do it because I feel so ill equipped for the job. But time and time again he’s shown me that no matter where I am or who I think I am He always knows best. It is not pride you have, but a desire for humility and humbleness and when we fight against the flesh it will bring up a lot of emotions. Keep on walking with the King and open those eyes to every moment. I will pray for boldness in your heart instead of fear and doubt. You are a blessing to us all.
I couldn’t have said it better!
I am a huge believer in God’s divine appointments. Give the post office worker a copy of your book. Make a connection. You never know what will come from it!
ps. I am looking forward to your book. I love reading your blog and have gleaned so much from you. Do not be shy, do not be embarrassed. God gave you these gifts and calling. Rejoice in this!
I felt horribly inadequate when volunteering to be a CASA, but I felt passionate about helping kids and just prayed a lot about it and did it for 3 years. You’ve “changed” by challenging yourself and going outside your comfort zone – something very common when we are trying to fulfill God’s plan for us! 🙂
Very excited for you!
Oh Courtney you are in my prayers!! You have nothing to fear. I cannot wait to read your book. And I haven’t ever thought of it as a book you have written about your perfect life, marriage and mothering. None of us are perfect. But I do believe we can learn from one another and I can’t wait to learn more from you like I have since I started reading your blog. You are a blessing in my life DAILY, and you are precious to me and Him.
I really need this post! I am in the process of currently self-publishing (hopefully actually publishing in the future) and I feel exactly the way you described when I talk about my work. I’m working on a Canadian history curriculum for home schoolers (anyone interested really) and I’m always thinking, this work is so flawed! who would ever want to buy it???? It’s hard to imagine that we as flawed humans have anything worthwhile to say. But I have to constantly remind myself (and my family does as well) that God has given me a passion and I shouldn’t be afraid to share it. It is hard, though…and sometimes, just knowing that someone else is going through the same thing, makes it a little easier to work through the negative feelings. I don’t see it as pride…but fear…and I know my Bible says that God is not the author of fear, but of power, and love, and of a SOUND MIND! Hardest thing ever to keep in mind. My favorite worse when I am struggling the hardest is Isaiah 26:3…”Thou wilt keep him in PERFECT PEACE whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.” Awesome words. Hard to live by…but our God is amazing!
I am so thankful for you! I really was in need of His words, and I ‘stumbled’ upon your FB posts….and I drink in the words He gives you and I am a better wife and mother as a result. Bless you!
THIS. This is why I love your blog. This humility, realness, openness. This longing to follow Christ and be the woman, wife, mother He wants above all else, even when it’s embarrassing. Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for sharing the even the part that you want to hide from even your nearest and dearest. Because we all know that feeling, but we want to hide it, too! God asked you to do embarrassing things (don’t you hate that, lol!) and you chose to accept! May that give courage to the rest of us. May God open the hearts of those who read your words so that we see His glory in them and allow Him to be ever present in our lives.
Reading this instantly brought tears to my own eyes because I can so completely relate to this struggle with fear (and the root being pride, namely being afraid of what people think). Thank you for being so open to share- it is reassuring to know that others are struggling with the same things!
I totally understand this struggle! I constantly deal with this especially when it comes to blogging. I am really looking forward to reading your book. I’m sure it’s going to be amazing!!!
One way to stay humble is to remember this, “I’m just a poor beggar trying to show other poor beggars where there’s bread.” This life with Christ is about him. Lift up his name!
I’m sooooo looking forward to reading your book! Your blog has been so helpful to me. The Lord has given you a gift and you need to share it! Remember fear comes from the enemy (2 Timothy 1:7, 1John 4:18). Don’t let him steal your joy, and ministry. You are helping so many including myself with your blog, and I’m sure your book will be a blessing to many!! 🙂
Even though I don’t know you, you seem very real. Your feelings and struggles are real. Your faith is very evidently real! Of the numerous times I’ve read your blog, I have never gotten the feeling that you are trying to appear to be something you’re not. You exalt God in all you say and do on your blog.
I relate to your struggle with pride. It’s hard to discern the line between pride in ourselves and confidence in God. The very fact that you are concerned about appearing prideful tells us all that you don’t want to be humble. It’s hard for others not to be “jealous” of your success in ministry or skeptical about the validity of your words. But that’s pride too, Isn’t it? That’s not your problem.
Thank you for all your “free” words over the years. They cost us nothing, but the time and effort you put into them were costly.
Keep walking with the King, Courtney. I’m looking forward to reading your book.
***correction*** “The very fact that you are concerned about appearing prideful tells us all that you DO want to be humble.” Sorry, I don’t know how to edit my comment.
Oh, Sweet Courtney –
My prayers are with you. God is faithful and good, and He will carry you through this. Keep leaning into Him.
And thank you for sharing your fears. It is a good thing to see our Christian sisters wrestle with their fears because it means that we can share our fears when they arise as well.
Many prayers and hugs.
Wow. This post really hit home for me. The feelings that you’ve so openly shared with us are ones I can definitely relate to! I want to encourage you Courtney, and as I pray for you, I hope you are comforted by all the peace, love and joy of our mighty God!! I feel blessed to be a part of your launch team, and I’m excited to share your words with others. Not because I think you’re a perfect human being who has all the answers, but because, as this entry explicitly reveals, you are sincerely a woman after God’s own heart! He is leading and guiding you and all of your endeavors, and while yes, the enemy will never cease to bring opposition, you will always, ALWAYS have the victory in Him!
There may be those who don’t understand your intentions, but then there are so many more who appreciate what you do, and know who you truly do it for. Walk with the King with your head held high! Not out of pride, but because you are allowing Him to use you as a willing vessel to help women like myself grow in many ways. For that, you are appreciated!!!
Courtney, thank you for being transparent and sharing your heart. I thank God that you listen to Him & follow where he is leading you. You are an inspiration to so many of us women & moms!! Thank you!! I can’t wait until my copy arrives in the mail!!
Courtney, you have no idea the thousands and thousands of women you’ve blessed through your blog. I can’t wait to get a copy of your book and read it! I love how ‘real’ you are and you are not afraid to share your faults and how to overcome them through Christ. I need to learn from you more. God bless you.
I was embarrassed really bad this weekend and it created an open door for the devil to barge right in and do what he always does to me: he brings up stuff from my past, things I’ve said and done, to shame and embarrass me and try to convince me to isolate myself from my brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s so awful. I turned to God and asked Him to help me with all my insecurities. At church Sunday morning, we sang a song with a line that really set me free: “You took my sin and my shame.” He took my sin and my SHAME. He nailed it to the cross. Not only my sins, but the shame that goes with them. Those feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment–are nailed to the cross. My Savior paid a big price to put them there. He put yours there too. Do not feel ashamed that you are struggling with the pride of your flesh. You’ve confessed it and now you can rest assured all those feelings and pride are nailed to the cross. The enemy is a liar and he has no right to try to undo what Christ did for us.
I am fearful as I write this. Who am I to say all these things? But God helped me this weekend, and I hope this helps you. And I’m gonna rush out and buy the book–everything you write sets me free!
From the words of David Jeremiah, turn your Fear knots into FEAR NOT! Just know you did as God led! “Be in the peace He provides.” You are a blessing! So many have grown spiritually, you have done well. The only one you are to please is The Lord himself… I think you are awesome!
From Jesus Calling today:
1 John 4:18-20
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” (1 John 4:18-21 NIV)
If you’ve been called by God to write, don’t worry what anyone else says.
I think these other ladies have said very clearly to you what I would have, and with much better words. You are a blessing to a whole lot of women and their families, and this post is just another instance. I was up early the last two days because I wake up and start worrying about an upcoming surgery. Not a major one, but no surgery is truly minor. It needs to happen, and I trust God, but worry and fear still try to creep in. The verse from Zechariah is not one I remember reading before, but it’s now written down in my prayer journal as a reminder. God bless you, and thank you so much!
Sending you an enormous virtual hug. You, sister, are an inspiration and your humble honesty is beautiful. People can be harsh – and I think sometimes, we forget that we have an enemy! Your book (I’m sure) is full of truth that the enemy doesn’t want others to hear. The response of others, the fear in your heart, these can be spiritual battles… and you’re right. “If I do this – that’s wrong… if I do THIS… that’s wrong too…” And it can be so discouraging. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Know that you have so many of us who love you and are rooting for you in Jesus name. 🙂 Stand firm, sister, in all the truth you already know. Yes, there will be people who criticize. Cling to the ones who encourage. (love)
I can’t express how much your post today hit home with me.
I admit I look at you and think that you must have the perfect life and family. Then I look at my own life and it looks so….imperfect. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing the underside of the tapestry, complete with messy knots and crossed threads.
I, too, started writing in 2008. Many times I thought about stopping. Who am I to think anyone would want to read my words? Why should ANYONE listen to me? (Yes, I hear the pride in this.) Yet I continue to write…sometimes remembering it is for an audience of One.
I admire that you have the courage to write a book. Not sure I would ever have that courage. No, pretty sure I wouldn’t have that courage.
As you write, for your audience of One, I hope you find that He has bigger plans for you than you’d ever imagined. No fear – He’s got this.
I just can’t wait for your book to arrive…I’m so excited to read it! I don’t think being nervous is prideful at all….you are helping so many women to be better wives, mothers and daughters. After all the junk that women find out in the world, we need a resource like you to help us find the right way to go. I think everyone who has followed your blog for any length of time knows that your heart is really and truly with God. Thanks so much for answering His call 🙂
Big Hugs to you girlfriend! Thank you for your honesty. While reading your book I do not see you as having it all together, you are a real person walking with the King! I so appreciate you and will be using your book to minister to others. Love you much!
Courtney…. I am praying for you. This is an exciting but fearful time. I am praying that God will shower his peace down on you. I know God is going to do an amazing work with your obedience,. I love reading the honesty and encouragement in your blog and can’t wait to read your book. Thank you for being transparent, authentic and living your faith out for all to see.
The Lord does not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind!!! 2 Timothy 1:7
Ok – so you may be having a problem with fear & pride BUT you have more love, power and a sound mind!!!!!!! Why? Because God is the giver and he gives in abundance.
Well I want to say you go …..you go ahead and feel nervous and lean on Him. Nerves=pride…whoa that is a big statement. Nervous is a
physical reaction to a different situation you are in and it is usually a
physical situation…..in present active participant..I am stung by her comment it is pride. Wonder if she had ever stood up and lead anything
all alone in the physical with all eyes and ears waiting for something to
come out of her mouth that is God-led, God fed, and by God’s timing release
through her weak and shaking flesh.. Maybe she has and God gave her
supernatural courage…every time I stand to lead a group my stomach does flips and butterflies are making it their playground until I suddenly realize we are well underway and yes I might be the one with skin on doing the leading in the group but the invisible God who is our lover, protector and defender has made His presences known miraculously through and with such a flawed human
as me…I am thrilled for your new book and go ahead be nervous…. I feel
for you see the same man at the post office, but I think God has a plan for those moments of inner cringing as a witness in his life somehow.
I shall pray for your post office encounters….Be blessed and thank you for
doing the hard stuff and then making it available for all those potential
critics but most likely very grateful people who have read your book and see help and change possible for them. Iris (Happy Monday!)
Loved your post, Courtney. Thank you.
If I could, I would give you JOY! I think ministers have a sense of joy when a message brought forth touches hearts, minds, and inspires people to live a greater life. Are you not ministering? There are always going to be people who disagree, find fault, etc. but there are many more who will be touched and changed and inspired.
Aren’t we all a little nervous when God sends us out on His mission and we do not feel qualified! You, of course, know that God will never send you somewhere that He would not protect you. Following God’s path is not an easy task and as has been mentioned before, the enemy will try to bring doubt that you are not qualified and put fears in your mind! Know that so very many ladies enjoy your blogs and insight. Most do not feel that you think you are all knowing or above the rest. We all feel that it is nice to hear someone who thinks or has the same issues we do, nice to see how someone else handles things, nice to know we are not alone and have a fresh voice, just nice! Keep up God’s work because He has you right where He wants you and you are amazing!!
I wish I had time to read all the comments, so forgive if this has already been said. Could some of those things be pride? Maybe, we all struggle with it to some degree. But I read your and think it takes courage to put yourself out there, both in blog and book. Certainly something I’ve never done! I read here and see a woman with the courage to obey a trustworthy God, who knows the why and the timing and all the people who will be touched by your book.
Oh sweet, sweet girl! I am so sorry you’re afraid right now, but understand where you are coming from. Not from a person who has written a book, but from the wife of an author who struggles every day with pride. The world deems our worth on our successes…so, it’s natural to want to be successful, but it’s such a struggle to not end up prideful. I truly feel for you, as I do my husband every time he wants to smack himself down for wanting to sell more books (*now his are for enjoyment and they are historical fiction, not a “God Helps” book, but it is the same emotion that surfaces.) I pre-ordered your book. I read your blog. You help me. You help God get through to me. You are doing your best for God. …and through those things, I feel I know you, even if only a bit. And, I know the book is not about who you are, but who you want to be…who, with God, you can be! THAT is who you are. The always striving mama, blogger, home-school teacher, Christian, ..and now writer doing her best for God. I have no answers for you, but I do have prayers. If you imagine you are dealing with pride now…wait, wait until they sell…and then you get hundreds of 5* reviews. It takes God, who is w.a.y. bigger than we are, to help us keep ourselves off of our own self-made pedestal. I think what you are doing is wonderful! …and I will certainly keep you in my prayers while you embark on this new part of your life that God has planned for you. Blessings dear girl! …and may you sell tons of books, not for your sake, but for the girls and women it will help find, understand, and love God!
It’s so refreshing to hear honesty from women. We aren’t perfect and it’s good to know that other Christian women struggle with similar issues that we do. I do have to say that instead of being embarrassed, you should be proud of what you did (healthy pride is a good thing, this is not “puffed up pride, I’m better than you pride)”. God asked you to do something and you did it! Do you know how many people God tells to do things and because of fear or being embarrassed or any other excuse, they don’t do it? This past weekend our church had guest speakers from England come and during a meeting they looked right at my husband and I and called us out! They said that God put a calling on our life and for many years we turned it away and haven’t done it, now is the time. Wow, I guess we could have been embarrassed at that one! What I wouldn’t give to instead hear what I believe God is saying to you, “I told you to do something and you did it! I’m proud of you, my daughter, for your obedience.” God is smiling at you for what you are doing for him. Go into that post office with a big smile knowing that you are God’s reflection, he wants you to be happy for your obedience. Your kids are even proud of their Mommy, show them they can do things that God called them to do and be happy about it! Be blessed my blogging friend, you did it!
Thank you for sharing that! I’ve felt led to start a blog and to share it on my FB account. I am a newly minted Christian – 8 years ago. So many of my “friends” on FB are non believers and I have been filled with a sense of embarrassment about what I have felt led to do. I’m still feeling the waters out on how He wants me to handle the blog. But this was a beautiful reminder to not be embarrassed of what He calls me to do and that I am not alone in feeling as I do.
You have helped and inspired many people with your words. You are good at what you do and there is no reason you shouldn’t have a book for sale to help earn a income for your family. Don’t let anyone knock you off your square! Congratulations on being brave and writing a book!
Beautiful. Honest. And God honoring! Thank you for your transparency. Thank you for being obedient. Praying that you find comfort in knowing HE is stronger and bigger than this. ❤️
I haven’t read them all but I’m sure I’m gonna say the same thing..When I saw that you were writing your book and then finished it..I thought that it fit. This fit with you and who you are and what I feel is your purpose here for us! I get it, though. Whenever I think about writing a book (which I’ve been joking about for 15 years now) I want to find a hole. Especially, now. I’ve lived and experienced and some of my experiences I feel would lead others to think..why does she think she has authority…So I keep pushing it away.
Have no fear Courtney! God is leading you, my friend!! I’m excited to read your book 🙂
They laughed and sneered at Noah too. Listen only to God. Push on.
Once again, I thank you for your honesty and being real.
Your book is on my ‘to read’ list,, and I’ll order it these days 🙂 You’ve never claimed to be perfect and to know it better than everything else 🙂 I am just looking so forward reading your book. 🙂
Well, I know we are no perfect creatures, though some seen to have things more together than others. I have been reading your blog, because you are a good influence on me, you are encouraging and I appreciate your honesty which comes across clearly so often. And boy do I get embarrassed, so I appreciate these words of wisdom. I am excited to read your book. Just in case you don’t here this often from other than your own words, “Walk with the King”! -Love Debra
My sweet friend Countney,
I just love your heart, your honesty, and your vulnerability…all for the sake of Christ. I just want to hug you and offer you encouragement. I guess I can sort of see where someone might say nervousness is a form of pride, but I don’t see it that way. I believe when Christ calls us to new, “big” things, He is usually pulling us out of our comfort zone. That first step is always the hardest. But just think…you took that nervous first step to lead a Bible study, and 15 years later you help lead thousands of women all across the globe in studying God’s word. You took the nervous first step to start a blog, and 5 years later you are blessing women like me on a daily basis…in fact you are blessing my whole family as you have helped me to be a better, more Christ-like wife and mother. So now you are taking another nervous first step. I, for one, am excited to see how God uses you where he’s led you…who knows where this might lead in 5 or 15 years!?! Even if you are getting paid for the book, it is still your ministry. I know that you have several favorite authors who have guided you in your pursuits to be a godly woman, wife, and mother…I don’t think you look at them as prideful.
I pray for God’s blessing on you and your ministry in all its forms! I’ve pre-ordered my book and can’t wait to read it!
I know you don’t know me but I just wanted to let you know I ordered several of your books to give as gifts. I know it hurts when people say hurtful things but as I often tell my children I will tell you; that’s jealousy. And if they think you are in the wrong for being prideful; then they are just as much in the wrong for being judgmental and jealous. I don’t understand why women of God can’t just be loving and supporting to one another. I think we all need to understand when we are critical of eachother like that; we are allowing Satan to use us. Fear is a natural thing. It can keep you safe but it can also paralayze you. I don’t believe your full of pride because you are scared. I think you are Human like all of us…and it hurts when we are judged harshly. Those things are called feelings. We ALL have them and if some women want to act like they’ve arrived then so be it but I for one have not and I’d love to walk alongside someone else who hasn’t; who is real; who loves The Lord with all her heart. You are a passionate person. We need more women like this. Thank you for being real. I’ll be praying for you. 😉
Courtney, honey–you ROCK!
I don’t think you’re prideful, and you sure are not perfect–you are who God is working in to help other women become who they need to be. By not being afraid to show your flaws, your embarassments, your confusion at times, you show that there is hope for all of us.
As far as dilemmas on how to feel about the book–I know hwere you are coming from, and all I wrote was a book of Christian Cowboy poems and essays that I print and sell myself. I get nervous enough just selling my little work to the few folks who are interested–so I can imagine how you’re feeling.
I don’t see you as an example of perfection. I see you as a sister in Christ who struggles and loves her God with all her heart, and who wants to do His will. I think that’s a pretty good way to be seen, don’t you?
While there may be some pride in nervousness, as sometimes it stems from wanting to make sure that people think well of you, there is also a sense of nervousness that comes from being uncomfortable because you feel inadequate for the task or being unsure of whether or not you are heading in the right direction.
In terms of that 2nd sense of nervousness, it is interesting to note that several heroes of the faith in the Bible struggled with that sense of nervousness and it was never once rebuked in them. Moses was nervous when God called him to go before Pharaoh. Esther was nervous when she needed to talk to the king about Mordecai. Gideon was nervous when he needed to lead his army into battle and was wanting to make sure that he understood God’s plans correctly. God does call us to go outside of our comfort zones — but He also provides us reassurance and direction, compensating for our weaknesses with His strength & abilities.
So be strong & take courage!!!
Praying for you!
You are brave!
So many other women have God given dreams and they never do anything about them. You are being obedient, and that is exactly what you should be doing. Your feelings can betray you, so don’t listen to them. God says “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
Thank you so much for sharing! I feel the same way about singing in church! I am SO SCARED that my heart races and I almost feel like I will faint! I was so blind until I read your blog post this morning, that that is actually PRIDE! I’m afraid to make a mistake; to hit a wrong note or forget the words or something like that! Or worse yet, that people are criticizing me for my size, as I have gained some weight. I know I am a perfectionist, and I want to be perfect as I sing, and I don’t tell anyone that I sing or that I am singing that day…like I don’t want them to know. Just as you described about your writing a book. I’m NOT perfect and never will be in this life, but the One Who is lives in me, and I have to keep reminding myself I am doing it for HIS glory, and to use the gift He has given me, regardless of the results! Those belong to Him!!
Thank you and pray for me! I will keep you in my prayers. xo
I don’t usually comment to others, but I just had to share with you that I have had the same fears for many years. And my fears actually caused me a couple of mishaps in my singing, so I declared I’m done! But I was reminded of this very thing, that God gifted me with my talents, and it is for Him I sing. I bring glory to him by using those very talents he gave me to give worship him! Fear is a rotten emotion, but thank God, He is bigger than our fears! And thanks for sharing!
It’s crazy how Satin comes in and makes us doubt the works of God in our lives. I don’t usually comment on anything, probably fear in saying something that would offend someone or accidentally be out of context with the word, but that fear is not from God and keeps me from doing God’s will at times. I have been reading your blog for a good year now and I keep reading, because of your boldness, your ability to speak truth even if it means sharing your own sin or downfalls. That takes courage! I am thankful for your courage as it inspires me to be more bold in the works of God in my own life. I would also like to say that I love reading books that come from Christian women from all walks of life. Everyone is different and goes through different things and God reveals different things to us at different times. None of us know everything or we would not need God. We know just what He helps us to see, so therefore we cannot possibly understand everything from everyones view point and when people read your book, I believe each woman will get something different from it, what God wants them to get from it. The point is the things you share help someone in some way. There are bits and pieces that can be taken and inspire or encourage us, but what it comes down to is does it point us to walking with Him. Everything I have ever read of yours strongly points to Him. From the moment I first read your blog I said, “now that is a God fearing woman”. Don’t let Satin make you doubt a work you have done in the Lord, there will always be someone to complain about something, thats the world we live in. As far as charging for the book…I can’t even imagine the time, energy, and sacrifice you had to put in this and the rewards you reap from your sacrifice are something to be thankful for, God would want you to be thankful for it. I appreciate all that you offer for free, it is such a blessing to have them and I pray that you would sale many of these books and reap the goodness of the Lord and that the women who read your book would hear your true heart…a heart that loves God and needs Him in all that she does and wants to share her excitement with other women so they to can reap all the goodness that comes from following Him.
Love in Christ,
Girl, you are the most inspiring person ever. This book that I’ve been fortunate to read prior to the launch is seriously life changing to me. I read bits by bits every day so I can soak in what you’re teaching me. Just last night I started your stop light game with my kids. They were so excited the whole time. Your book is going to change lives. And for the better. It is so aligned with God’s Truth. I love you Courtney & I will most certainly be praying for you.
Oh Courtney! I can so relate to your words — to your fears. So with the same verse I have on repeat in my mind and heart, I say to you and pray for you today: Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid. The Lord your God is with you. (Joshua 1:9)
God is using you, and the enemy wants to discourage you and keep you from being effective. You have an army of praying women behind you and an army of angels fighting on your behalf. You are so loved and respected, and the desire of your heart is clear– ALL glory to God!
Sending you lots of virtual hugs and coffee today.
Dear Courtney, I’ve been following you long enough to know that this isn’t your typical upbeat post. But you are always open and real. And I love that. And God loves it. Your truthful rawness, vulnerability. I have a real life friend on your launch team, I too thought about applying, we love to follow you and chat about you and learn from you as you point us to Him. When you asked for prayer I couldn’t even continue to read on, I stopped right then and prayed for you. I pray you will stand strong against your adversaries, that you will continue to be open and brave. That you will keep on keeping on IN HIM.
PS I can’t wait for my book to arrive! I know it will be encouraging to me 🙂
Go to a post office that has one of the do-it-yourself kiosks! And just take it as a compliment that the postal worker thinks you look so young. 🙂
Courtney I said a prayer for you! Do not fear the Lord is with you!!! We all have fears and struggles but I am so glad you are going forward with your ministry. Going to preorder my book today! 🙂
I can only imagine the feelings you are having right now. You have written a wonderful book – I’m not quite finished yet, but I am loving it. I am enjoying your perspective and your stories (I even shared one with my husband yesterday that I thought was so cute)! And your ideas for women’s ministry are so great. God has gifted you with the ability to write and lead. You are following His call on your life in sharing personal information with scriptures and other quotes ultimately focusing on HIM the whole time. You share about struggles as well as victories but ultimately you are sharing what God has laid on your heart. When God calls us to step out in faith for His glory, we disobey if we don’t. And I believe God called you to share this for His glory. If people who know you in “real life” are skeptical, then perhaps they haven’t had the opportunity to see your heart, the way you open it up on your blog. And people who don’t know you (like the man from the Post office) who are critical, are being critical of Jesus and lives lived in every aspect for Him, because they don’t know HIM. People who are lost won’t understand. And people who are saved, sometimes don’t act gracious (as you mentioned in your previous post) but your responsibility is to follow God where He leads you and to bring glory to his name. And Courtney, I believe you have done that! So thank you for being that example and sharing it with the world!
I couldn’t believe what I was reading as I read your post. I believe God has put the desire in me to write a book. I have only shared that desire with two people–my daughter and a friend. My friend commented that everyone has a story–which made me question myself. Although I quesioned myself, God has placed opportunities in my life that are steering me in the direction of writing my book(s).
Thank you for sharing your experience. It has encouraged me and helped prepare me for what lies ahead.
Totally practical comment: You can set up an account on usps dot com and print the mailing labels from there. Once that’s done, you can arrange for the postal carrier to pick them all up from your house for free.
On another note, I pray your book touches those who need it the most, perhaps even this postal worker.
Hi Courtney! I think you should bring the postal worker a book, maybe even wrapped with a ribbon around it. I bet he’d read it, and maybe God will use it to change his life or the lives of his children. Who knows what God will do. Don’t shy away from contact with him. Let Jesus shine through you, even if you are blushing! I’m saying a prayer for him right now….
I was just prompted to comment and tell you this…..YOU ARE SO VERY LOVED!!!! (from a first-time commenter who obeys what is placed on her heart.) 🙂
My heart goes out to you! God is your ROCK and just keep leaning on Him. Rejoice that God gave you so many talents and gifts that you are willing to share to bless and equip others to have a closer relationship with Him and ultimately an improved life. Nervousness does not equate being full of pride. You just want to do your best as you serve the Lord. It happens to me every time I have to speak at church. I have discovered that asking God to take away my fears, such as nervousness, and trusting in Him to help me do my best works every time. And I don’t consider myself a public speaker, but God always gets me through it. Focus on how great it feels to have completed the task that you believe God wanted you to do and praise Him for his help. I agree with all the other beautiful comments that have been written above in such loving ways! You are in my prayers.
Oh how I needed this! I have been embarrassed about my blog, my homeschooling, my Facebook posts!
“But Moses said to God, ‘Who am I, that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?'”
God can use anyone!
I am one of the Launch Team members and one of your long time blog readers. You have an amazing gift from God in your writing, and it seems that the book, conference, etc were only the next logical step in your ministry to women! Be Blessed Courtney in all you do as a women, wife, friend, and mom after God’s Own Heart!!!
Courtney, congratulations on the launch of your book. I would respond to that woman (with whom I partly agree) that if you “don’t care” what others think, that can be pride too! I have a family member who states she is “bold for the Lord” and uses her bold personality to criticize and tell others how they need to live, not in the love of the Lord, and states that God gave her this personality so she doesn’t care who she offends. That’s pride. So it’s good that you do care! It’s also even better that you care, and then you turn it over to the Lord- to use you and to mold you and to reach out to others! 🙂
Nicole @ WKH
Your post makes me DRAWN to you and your book. I wouldn’t want to read it if you were totally confident and having no issues. None of us likes putting ourselves out there, vulnerable, like a target for anyone and everyone to shoot at. Thanks for making yourself vulnerable for the cause of Christ! Remember that you don’t have to be perfect before the Lord can use your writings.
Hi Courtney, Christ is working within you and that’s clear, and is the all important message you give on all subjects that you speak about on your blog and videos!
When you are giving Christ All the Glory, and you are recognizing and thanking Him for your talents and Gifts He is pleased, honored and glorified and you will be rewarded from Him!!
Be proud of your accomplishments – in the right sense of course! keep boasting in Christ the one who is using you for His wonderful ministry to encourage and bless others, so we can know it is possible for us all to become more Godly women, and with His help!!
I wouldn’t describe nerves as being pride either it is a normal emotion we all have, especially before big events like these!!
God loves to hear our cry’s to Him “the sacrifices of God are a broken and a contrite heart.. O God you will not despise” Looking forward to reading your book! Keep walking with the King and putting God first!! (psalm 51:17)
I never ever leave comments on blogs. But, I had to today. I just want you to know that God IS using you in mighty ways to bless people (like me) that you will never meet. Your blog is one way God communicates to me OFTEN. You are doing a mighty ministry FOR HIM and He is using you! Ignore the fears and those who would look down on you for doing God’s will and obeying His calling to reach the lost and those who need encouraging in their walk. It’s just the devil trying to discourage you. I praise God and thank Him for you. God bless,
You are doing what God wants you to do. People can be cruel sometimes and unfortunately Christians are no exception. They sometimes speak without thinking and if they are not convicted in their spirit when they say mean things there is an issue. You are being obedient and it is so hard sometimes to put yourself out there. We make ourselves vulnerable and that means hey look at me and if you have any insecurity that is a frightening place. I recently started leading our Women’s Ministry at church and believe me I was asking God are you sure this is what you want me to do and it was confirmed by someone who very clearly said God laid it on my heart to tell you this. I still am shaking at this because I don’t feel worthy of it. I know though that when tongues are wagging and criticism is there constantly Satan is trying to stop something God is going to accomplish. If you aren’t obedient to God then Satan gets the glory. I struggled with this and so I spoke with my preacher and he said something that made me feel so much better. He said there is always the 5% who is going to criticize what you are doing but you can’t concern yourself with them all you can do is love them and pray for them. They are hurting and out of that hurt they are speaking and they may not even realize they are hurting but you got to love them and let God take care of them. You have to be obedient and therefore the 95% who are standing behind you are receiving what it is God is wanting to accomplish. I have prayed constantly about this fear and finally I just felt at peace God has equipped me he called me to do it and he called you to write and blog and everything else you do stand strong and give God the glory. I read your post with anticipation and I needed this one to remind me I am not alone in my fear and that other people I look up to have the same issues. I am praying for you.
Sometimes I think my tears are literally my fears streaming down my face – beautiful and honest. I am just beginning the journey of writing and blogging, and I answer sheepishly what I know God has called me to do. Thank you for helping me realize it’s not just my fear but my pride that is afraid to answer how I spend my days. I will be praying for you that God continues to shine through you and fill you with the peace of knowing you are in the center of His perfect will.
Pride – You should be proud of yourself. It’s not a bad thing. People always try to discourage one another. Rise above and press on. Way to go!
Praying for you today, dear Courtney!
I was impacted by your two words. No Fear. It spoke to where I am right now. Stepping out to put myself out there is really making me cringe from what God is bringing me into in this season of my life. I am frankly afraid to fail. To put things on the paper that I can’t undo. Like you. I will pray for you as I pray for my situation and ask God to infuse us with the courage to walk where He has called us.
I am a middle-aged Christian….not a baby but I have a lot to learn and have never went to bible college…anyway..i for one can’t wait to read your book…not so i can learn how to be the perfect wife and mother but so I can learn how better to let God lead my life and my family…you do that and it shows through everything I have seen or read you do…and I want the advice of someone like that..not something that thinks they know everything and have it all together….praying for you Courtney
I will be praying for you Courtney! You have been such a blessing to me in my life…such a great example. My marriage and family life has improved so much since I have started following your blog. I give God all the credit for that. However, He is using you and your blogging, book, and conference ministry to bless other women and lead other women to be the wives and mother’s God has called them to be. NEVER be ashamed or embarrassed by that…you are a light to a hurting world. The example you are to women passes on and then those women that you impact can impact other women…it’s such a beautiful example of how our wonderful creator can use imperfect people to further His kingdom and spread His truth! I tell people all the time what a blessing you are and how much you have touched my life…it feels silly because I don’t know you but I feel like you are one of my best friends! I wish you all the best sweet lady 🙂 Take care and God bless!
I thank you for your words. I was moved to write a poem last week after reading in the account of the loaves and the fishes in Matthew. When I read your blog today, I was reminded of it, and believe it too, to be your sincere desire. Thank you for sharing yourself with us!
Loaves and Fishes
but 5 loaves
and 2 fishes.
I offer them
and bless it,
that with this,
that I possess,
to use my
we may feed thousands.
by Sherry Holladay
I’m a writer, too, Courtney, and can so relate to what you’ve written here. Thank you for posting this and for being so honest. So many of your posts have encouraged me and helped me. I am very glad you push through your embarrassment, nervousness, etc, and keep writing! I pre-ordered your book way back in July and I so look forward to reading it!! Best wishes.
Wow, this is one of my favorite posts. I could relate to every single word you wrote. I too just released my first book and feel the exact same way. Exact. Your words move people and impact lives. You are doing Kingdom work, which is not easy. Your critics will be louder than your fans. Your fans are proud of you for persevering and pushing forward. Thank you for writing despite your fears.
I think it is so awesome that the message God has given you to share will be reaching even farther. You go girl!!
Dearest Father I come today to stand by a sister I know only through her writing. The enemy is attacking big time; which tells me she is doing what will honor You. Please fill her with your perfect peace. Give her your eyes and a discerning spirit to see the truth about what people saying to her. You have given her the talent and opportunity to touch so many more lives for You in writing this book Father. Guard her heart, mind, and spirit from the enemy’s attack. Protect her as she follows where You are leading her. Remind her that You will NEVER leave her or forsake her! Give her the rest she needs to fulfill all You are asking her to do in her life. Give her Your words to speak in the Post Office; You have placed her in this man’s life for a reason Father. Remind her that obedience is her part. The results are Your responisibility. Thank You Dearest Father for a sister who is so faithful to You. Thank you for her willingness to share all of herself to point others to you. Bless her and hold her close in Your loving arms. Strengthen her through Your Holy Spirit. In Jesus name I ask. Amen.
I don’t think nervousness is pride. I get very nervous speaking in public! I think people are gonna laugh at me. Due to an incident in 8th grade,when I was giving a speech, kids were laughing at me. Since then, I’ve HATED speaking in public.
I’m on the book launch team and let me just say that you ladies are gonna be BLOWN away by this book! It’s that awesome! It really is! Courtney has a gift. She also has a family to feed, bills to pay just like the rest of us! Running a blog is NOT cheap. She is broadcasting the keynote speakers from the conference on her website free of charge, at her expense!
So my friend don’t despair. God is using you as He sees fit. I’ve been so blessed by your ministry. I’m MORE than happy to purchase a few copies even though I got a free PDF version for being on the launch team.
Hi Courtney 🙂
The reason why I read your blog and I will read your book is because you’re not perfect and never pretend to be. You don’t present what God is teaching you from the point of view of “I’ve arrived, be like me”, but “this is what I am learning, let’s grow together”. It is SO refreshing.
Thank you and I pray God blesses you and encourages you.
Pride is emnity with God. It is thinking that your own (or another) opinion is more important than God’s opinion. Listen to Him. He will not lead you astray. I pray every day that He will guide me to do His will in my little life and corner of the universe!
Those of us who don’t know you in real life and only read your blog know your humility, and that is what I love about your words. You do not hold yourself up as a perfect example. I feel you are a fellow traveler and cheerleader. Thank you for all your uplifting words!
Hi Courtney, I just read this today (2days late) and I was in tears for you! I will definitely pray for you sister :-). I haven’t read all the comments others have posted, but I hope you found the encouragement you needed to keep moving forward. You are doing a great job on your blog and I am sure lives will be touched from your book as well…in the end, that’s all that matters. Whether it’s one life or a hundred, it means a lot to God that others can see Him through you :-). God bless you sister!!
Oh Courtney, you words are humbling and have helped me to remove many stumbling blocks from my life. God bless you for your heart for God and being a light to those of us who need to hear it most. I’m praying for you now to continue to grow in this new path that God has led you on and to continue to walk in trust and with no fear. He’s got this and we’re praying for you sister!
You are such a blessing, Courtney. Your courage is so beautiful. You have once again opened your heart. Your honesty is so pure and enlightening, and you give much to learn from. God bless you and keep mailing those books with confidence. He has provided you with the ability to write. You are His instrument. Know you are filled with His truths and fear not.
Hi Courtney, I usually don’t post, I just read, take away what the Holy Spirit is revealing, and share with others. But at this point, I am thinking the least I can do for you is what you have been doing for me through your blogs and that is encourage. So prayerfully, this encourage you my sister 🙂 . In the short time of following your blog, the Holy Spirit has used your blogs to help renew my mind on being a wife and mother. I have come to understand even more Christ’s character as it relates to the call of a wife and mother, through your blogs. I praise the Lord that I stumbled across your blog because it has help me greatly. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus Christ, continue to do your work unto Him and not for man. Remember there will always be naysayers, doubters, basically people (well more so the spirit behind them) planted to destabilize you. The enemy does not want you to advance the Kingdom of God. Just remember to suit up everyday (Ephesians 6: 14-17) so that you can stand against these spiritual attacks. Also, since God has not given us the spirit of fear, He will allow circumstance/ events to help purge that fear out! So I will pray that you pass these tests, so that fear can be rooted out, and the enemy not have a foot hold in your life. I love you my sister in Christ! Keep writing and, as you would say, walk with the King!
I’m not one to encourage avoidance but you can mail packages straight from home. Your postal carrier can pick them up right from your mailbox. Saves me tons of time not having to drive to the PO, wait in line, etc. Praying for you and the launch of this book!
I am with the large group of women that praise God for your gift of writing and the way you sacrifice self to be filled and led by the Holy Spirit. Your blog has been a huge help to me at a hard time in my life and I am thrilled to see you grow and write a book. I look forward to reading it. I don’t think it is pride to be embarrassed and I know it bothers me when people tell me I’m too young to know so much about something. You don’t have to be old to have God fill you with the knowledge you need to use for His glory and goodness or to have life experiences that put that knowledge to the test. I know that the judgmental comments of the few can overshadow the encouraging support of the many, but I just wanted to tell you that I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now and God has used you to teach me about how He wants me to be. Thank you and I pray that you are never discouraged from doing God’s work.
It’s almost a relief to hear you say these things. Very few of my “real life” friends know I write either. I never introduce myself as an author.
Do not feel ashamed for being proud of what God has done for you and from you! There is a HUGE difference between being cocky (Oh look at me I’m so great etc…) and being confident (God is with me, I know I can do this, I am His daughter. He has blessed me and I acknowledge this!) be proud and give thanks to God for leading you to where you are today! You can be proud but not prideful; there is a difference. Proud to stand for truth, proud to be an American, proud to be a mother of such beautiful sweet children. Showing off and being prideful about these things is considered to be the wrong kind of pride. You felt inspired to write a book, a Godly book. This Godly book is good, it is not evil. I know you can feel the goodness of God through His Holy Spirit. That is why you felt so compelled to write a book! Don’t become confused about your self worth that is exactly what Satin wants you to feel, he wants you to feel guilty for writing such a good book. He wants to tear you down, especially since you are on a brink of great success in sharing God’s Word and this is something our society desperately needs. Yes, it is important to not become a prideful person with this success but as you stay close to God and repent daily, you won’t! If anyone judges you, build the kingdom of God anyway. They must not know your heart as well as you thought but God does. Be patient dear friend and be gentle with your self. You have been such a blessing in the lives of many. You are an angel. You have helped me almost daily with you love and passion for our dear Lord. Celebrate God, Celebrate that He is a part of who you are!
My little comment here seemd kinda insignificant compared to this long list of comments, but I was reading your post and the part that said you get teary eyed made me want to hug you. I haven’t been reading your blog long, but I love it and I have your book on pre-order. I’m excited to read it. I know it’s hard to not be concerned about what other people are thinking of us. But pride is an attitude of the heart and only God sees the heart. You know what your motives are. It is between you and God. No one else. Who knows what kind of seeds might have been planted with the post man or the people in line. I think some fear is good, because it reminds us how much we can’t do it on our own. It is all God’s ability and it is all God’s glory. But we shouldn’t be afraid when we trust God. He called you to write the book, you obeyed, now let Him take care of the rest.
Thank you for not giving up on the book or your blog. It is an encouragement to many!
Have a great day 🙂
Courtney there is nothing wrong with selling your book and no one has the authority to judge you for that! I love your blog and can’t wait to get your book. I think you are very transparent in your writing and I never get a feeling from you that you lead a perfect life. You always point everything back to the Lord. I think you are a very humble writer and that is what has kept me reading your blog for many years. When I was faced a few years back with a leadership role in ministry I just kept telling God I am not anybody who should be leading anything. I barely can keep my life together. Then God gave me these words over a radio broadcast that very week….” God does not call the qualified but rather qualifies the called!” I hope this encourages you today. Your ministry is awesome and reaches sooo many women’s hearts!