Going Deeper {Song of Solomon 1-5}

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Today I’m doing something different.

I’m sharing links to articles that are written on the book of Song of Solomon or on the topic of physical intimacy in marriage –that I feel would be enriching for us to read –as we study this book of the Bible together.

I pray they bless you as extra resources for going deeper in your understanding of Song of Solomon.

Pick one or two links below to click on…and go deeper!

The Song of Songs is countercultural.  – It powerfully presents sexuality to be enjoyed within a relationship that is defined by God. It is covenantal, monogamous, and heterosexual. Any other definition of marriage will destroy a society.

5 Ways to Let Him Know You Enjoy Sex  – One of the aspects I adore about the Song of Solomon, the one biblical book devoted to marital intimacy, is how the wife communicates her own enjoyment of sex with her husband. Yes, she makes love to meet his needs and desires, but she also finds pleasure in the experience. And then, she goes a step further and shares with her husband her appreciation of their sexual intimacy.

The Gift of Exquisite Pleasure – When you and your husband are together sexually, it’s more than biology, more than exchanging body fluids and releasing chemicals in the brain. God desires you to deeply know each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Anything less is a compromise, an inadequate expression of what God designed. Through God’s gift of Intimate Knowing, a husband and wife receive a deep knowledge of each other that they have with no one else. This knowing brings a depth to their relationship.

Solomon’s Line on Pre-Marital Sex – Keep in mind, I say, that in biblical times there just wasn’t a whole lot of sex taking place before marriage, since people married at such young ages, and there just wasn’t much time between reaching the age of sexual maturity and marriage. Most of the sex taking place was after marriage, either with your spouse, which was good, or not with your spouse, which was prohibited, and that’s why there’s more talk about adultery than premarital sex. We wrestle with this issue more now because the time span between reaching the age of sexual maturity and marriage has bumped up a decade or two since biblical times.

Five Things We Can Learn from the Temptress of Proverbs 7 – I know my husband loves it when I pursue him. Sometimes the longer we are married the more we become comfortable with just letting the husband do the work to romance us but we see in Proverbs 7 a woman that makes men stumble.  Check out her ways and consider – this is what most guys love.

103 Words of Affirmation Every Husband Wants to Hear We need your affirmation – we have to have it and, oh, how we thrive with it. Typically, men are quiet about these things but that doesn’t mean we need and enjoy our wife’s affirmation any less. And every man feels it: When his woman is behind him, he can slay dragons.  Here are a few words to fill your dragon-slayer with the vigor of life.

Three great books on this topic that I have read:

Intimacy Ignited: Conversations Couple to Couple: Fire Up Your Sex Life with the Song of Solomon by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus

Initimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus

The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire
*Affilate Links

**Chime In**

What have you been learning in your study of Song of Solomon this week?

Did you visit any of these links?  Which one was helpful to you or what did you learn?

Do you have a favorite resource you found this week during your study? Share it in the comment section below!

Walk with the King,


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  1. I personally love the Matt Chandler book, The Mingling of Souls, God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption. http://www.amazon.com/The-Mingling-Souls-Marriage-Redemption/dp/1434706869

    There is also a video study on YouTube (several sessions long), that he and his wife Lauren did. I personally am just getting through the end of the book, but we will watch the videos as well. His series, A Beautiful Design ( also on YouTube), was fantastic!!

  2. I read 103 words of affirmation your husband needs to hear. A great reminder that I need to build my husband up. It’s a good reference list–so many options!

    I also read about Song of Solomon is countercultural. I liked how it discusses how we are the bride of Christ.

    This week I’ve been reading and looking at my relationship with God.

  3. I love this study. I intend to check all of these links out today and through the weekend. This book of the Bible is rather sad for me to read, though. I desperately want and need this intimacy in my marriage and I have no doubts that my husband loves me but he’s not interested in sexual intimacy. It has been nearly 2 years…and we have only been married 2 1/2 yrs. I am always down on myslef because I have thyroid issues and have gained a little weight, so naturally I think it is my fault and he’s just not attracted to me even though he loves me. We don’t ever talk about it, I guess for fear of getting into an aegument. He has said in the past that he has ED and he is just too tired while that may be true sometimes, I KNOW it is not the case all the time. At the beginning of our marriage when these issues began, he sought medical treatment and it worked…but then after a few months he just quit taking the medication. It is a very sad and lonley place to be in a marriage. I have no interest in straying from my marriage though. He is the ONLY man I want. In order to cope, I just try not to think about it, I pray for God to take away my need and desire for the physical intimacy and I have resolved in my mind that there is a great possibility that we may never be physical again…and at this point after so long…I’m afraid it would even be awkward. Yet, while I pray for God to take away my desires, I still pray for Him to heal my husband and restore our physical intimacy because it does effect other areas of our marriage and I just believe with all of my heart if we could only come together in the deepest most intimate way a husband and wife can, that it would help us to better deal with other issues.
    I’m not sure my point of this other than to show that not every man is a sexual beast wanting it everyday…some just don’t have any interest at all. Maybe pray for us. I won’t ever leave him beacuse of this…I love him.way too much. This is kind of like ‘in sickness and in health’ . But wow, do I ever long to have my husband desire me as I desire him. I will be kind of glad when we are done with this particular study hahaha.

    1. Sandee, I just prayed for your husband and for you specifically as you too are praying…for physical intimacy to return and the desire be restored to your husband and for you as you wait upon the Lord’s timing.

  4. I’ve been married 16 years and have 4 children with my amazing husband, but still struggle in this area. A lot of my struggles come from a misconception from when I was growing up that sex is “bad”. I know in my heart that it is a good thing in the right circumstances, I just have to retrain my brain! I’m also extremely insecure about my body because of things that happened in my adolescent & teen years. I’m learning so much! Now to just put these things to practice! Pray for me that I will become a better wife for my husband!

  5. Interesting point about the pre-marital sex and the difference in age. While I know you aren’t condoning pre-marital sex it is a valid point in pointing out the difference in what age people get married to now versus then.
    I am getting married next month and my pastor of almost 10 years won’t marry us because my fiancé and I have had pre-marital sex. I’m 38 and he’s 48! Broke my heart ( and left me churchless as I am not going to a church where I am admonished for doing something he doesn’t agree with) when he told us no due to this. Very close minded to look only at the surface and not stop to consider that we love each other, are monagomous (sp???) and knew from the start we would be married.
    anyways– wonderful series! love to see a ”taboo” subject being discussed.

  6. I am not married, but this week in the Song of Solomon has been a blessing. I loved the reminder that “HIS banner over me is love”. Thoughts for today:
    S – “His mouth is full of sweetness. And he is wholly desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend,” (NASB) “His voice and speech are exceedingly sweet; yes, he is altogether lovely [the whole of him delights and is precious]. This is my beloved, and this is my friend…” (AMP) Vs. 16
    O – Walking in the light of HIS Word is altogether lovely! HE is my best friend! I can bring everything to HIM. HE cares for me! HE brings JOY and PEACE, priceless treasures!
    A – It’s up to me! I have the choice to hear and heed: To receive HIS words of love and grace; to take joy in relationship with HIM; to bask in the glory of HIS beauty; to walk with my FRIEND, my LOVER!
    “There’s no friend to me like Jesus, He my ev’ry need supplies;
    He not only saves but keeps me, Nothing good from me denies.
    Yes, in Him I’m fully trusting, Yes, through Him I’ll conquer all;
    For I know He saves and keeps me, And He’ll never let me fall.
    All, yes, all to me is Jesus, Blest Redeemer, Savior, Guide,
    And from ev’ry foe defends me, And in Him I’ll ever hide.
    I will never cease to love Him, He Who died to set me free;
    Now in Him I am abiding, And some day His face I’ll see.”
    K – LORD JESUS, thank YOU for loving for me, for calling to me, for drawing me to YOURSELF! Thank YOU, that I belong to YOU! In YOUR sweet name. Amen.

    Discussion: Beloved – Dear to the heart. Friend – One who is attached to another by affection. Does your relationship with GOD resemble that of a beloved fiend? Yes!

  7. I loved the Ligonier article that you have linked to. It is one of the best I have read on this topic. Thanks for posting.

  8. I would love to be able to get the resources for The Song of Solomon study but I can’t find them anywhere on the site. Could you send me a link please. Thanks so much!

  9. We had a power failure last night and we just went to bed early. What a great way to get to some practical application of this book:)

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