Can’t Seem to Let Go? Here’s How.
There are so many reasons why we don’t let go of things that are hurting us.
Sometimes we just need someone to give us permission. This is it – you have God’s permission to rest. So join me on this video as I talk about Knowing Your Why and How to Let Go.
Sometimes we are people pleasers and we feel guilty saying no. We want to be a blessing. We want to help out.
Sometimes it’s not possible to let go. Perhaps you have a sick family member and the burden of caring for them is 100% on you. It’s a situation you cannot escape and you want to do it well for God’s glory.
But you are tired.
Do not feel guilty for feeling tired. You are doing a good job. God sees you and is pleased. But even in that situation – you must determine to figure out how to rest in it. Caregiver burnout can lead to depression, anxiety, anger and health problems. It’s time to ask for help, join a support group, and say no to other requests outside of caregiving.
Maybe you are a single mom. I hate asking for help or being needy. But sometimes you can’t be in two places at one time. If you do not have family or friends you can ask for help – be brave and ask for help at church or at the kid’s school. Give yourself permission to buy prepared food or declare a pizza night and put your feet up. You are not a robot – you can not go and go and go without consequence. Your body was created for rest and you need to rest before you hit burn out. Your kids need you to be stable – emotionally, physically and spiritually, more than they need everything done for them perfectly. So give yourself permission to rest.
Sometimes we can’t stop because we have an addiction. Addictions come in many different forms from smoking and alcohol to overeating and social media and more. The most effective way to overcome an addiction is accountability. Decide today that you will seek help and ask someone to hold you accountable as you work to break your addiction.
For some of us, it’s social media. Time flies when you are having fun and if there’s one thing we all feel like we are lacking – it’s time! Time is valuable. We must manage it well so that we will have margin left for resting. Social media can be relaxing and fun – but it also can make us angry, jealous, hurt, sad or worried. It affects us emotionally and fills our mind with information that at times is simply useless. We must be wise and give ourselves boundaries for social media.
So much of what I said above – you already know…but sometimes we need to be reminded.
As you heard in the video — today is a decision day!
Then continue to surrender again and again and again.
Last summer, I found myself really worrying about something. So I decided to put a ring, with the word “Believe” inscribed on it, on my right hand. Every time I talked about this problem or worried about it, I moved the ring to my other hand. At first, I was moving that ring back and forth all day long. But slowly, I began to move it less and less and eventually I stopped needing to even wear the ring.
We must be intentional.
We must practice self-control.
Self-control is using your inner brakes. When I moved my ring back and forth, it was like I was pumping my breaks – slowing myself down. It was also a reminder to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help my mind not go into overdrive. Another thing that helped me (which we will talk about in week 3) is music. Playing music has helped me to redirect my thoughts. So get that music going friends!
You got this!!!
You are equipped.
You have the knowledge you need.
Now it’s time to be wise and apply the knowledge you are learning.
Release and Let. GO.
After watching this video, share with us – what is your why or what practical steps are you taking to let go?
Walk with the King,
If you don’t have a copy of the Bible Study yet –
It’s available on Amazon in paperback here and Kindle here.
What great analogies and visuals with the bottle of water and the knife…it is such truth! We have to be willing to open our hand….we have to be willing to lay something down…I am having a little trouble figuring out my what..there are so many things I am struggling with. Praying for wisdom and discernment.
I have learned to trust God ,and to give up things to him, and to sometimes just take a rest! I am really enjoying the bible study! one day we did 3 day’s and we are lighting our candle!
The toddles like to listen too!
The Banbury Family
I’ve watched many of your videos over the years and have loved all of them but this one is so timely for my life. I am a doer. A people pleaser. God took away volunteer opportunities at my son’s schools last year that I enjoyed. Every door shut when I tried to volunteer. I was so hurt. But it gave me time and lead me to Christian counseling. I finally began healing from my moms death instead of suppressing it and trying to be strong. I’m learning I don’t have anyone to impress anyone or care what others think of me except God and to some extent my husband and boys. I’m learning to say no and it’s not always easy. I’m a work in progress. I still struggle some days and it’s hard to change. But I’m thankful for what I’m learning. And I’m sorry for all the time that’s gotten away from me that I could’ve been resting instead of stressing. As always thanks Courtney. You’re a blessing!
Your words so resonate with me (also a doer but have learned a lot in the last two years) and I am so glad Courtney you are back, you have a gift! I just wrote about on my blog about living in Transition and Holley Gerth’s new book helping me and now this study!! God’s perfect timing!!
This was so spot on! Thank you so much Courtney! God has been doing amazing things in my heart over the last year and a half. My birthday was a month ago, it was a huge breakthrough for me in so many ways. I felt God pressing upon me that this was going to be a year of letting go of fear. I have battled with fear, anxiety, and depression since I was a child and slowly He is having me open my hand and let the fear go. To just trust in Him. It definitely NOT easy! But the more that I understand His love for me, Ephesians 3:18-19, the more I trust Him the more I let go!
Thank you for this video and your encouragement. The ring is s good idea ????
Courtney, once again, you hit the nail on the head! You have such a calling on your life and God is all over you!!!!! I see him radiate through your beautiful eyes. Glory to God is all I can say!!! What the enemy has meant for harm in your life through your painful marriage/divorce, oh wow. He has nothing on you! God is so for you and never against you and I see it and hear it every time you share a video. Thank you for being used in this way by our Lord for his glory! You are such a blessing!! God bless you dear sister in Jesus! Love all of your analogies that you share. You’re not only a God fearing brilliant woman, but so beautiful too! ????????????????
Oh how that knife analogy hit home! I am so in love with this study and I look so forward to your videos and this one honestly hit home. This week, I think in large part due to this study, I let go of a huge piece of my identity! The job that I have and trained so hard for I was no longer able to do because of health reasons and for 2 years (2 YEARS!!!!) I have struggled against everyone’s loving suggestions to “let it go” and this week I did!!! It was HARD but I felt such enormous relief at not fighting with my body and being angry at it. God has a different plan for me and I’m just going to be praising him in the hallway until that door opens! Thank you so much for your ministry and your heart.
I’ve been with you for awhile and have always loved your teaching; but, this series is absolutely the best! Thank you for your commitment, example, and perseverance and for reminded us to Walk with the King!
Thank you so much for this study. Your words today hit home for me. I’m in a stormy season that started last spring, when I felt called to give up my work-from-home job and homeschooling our oldest. As soon as I did, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and our whole world changed. Since then, we’ve also had other family and friends either pass suddenly or deal with their own cancer diagnoses.
As the oldest of three girls, I’ve put pressure on myself to be the main caretaker for my sweet mom. But it’s left me burned out, with nothing left to pour into my own family. It’s only been these last few weeks that I’ve been trying to release some of the pressure and allow others to help more. Still, it’s a season where I’m fighting for joy every second of every day, wondering how I can still be the wife and mother I need to be. My biggest realization through our first week of this study has been to let go of expectations–we’ve had to cancel family trips and say no to really fun opportunities. The kids have dealt with disappointment from canceled vacations and saying no to some extracurriculars. BUT I’m reminded that this is only a season, and God is faithful to honor our obedience. I’ve felt like a toddler at times, kicking and screaming when I don’t get my way, but then God speaks to my heart and reminds me that the sun always comes after the rain. He uses these stormy seasons to mature our faith, give us new strength and draw us into a deeer relationship with Him… if we let Him. 🙂
Hola, bueno yo puedo escuchar el audio pero no se ingles, sin embargo la traducción que google hace del blog me permite leer todos los comentarios, y me doy cuenta que Dios es bueno y para el no hay barreras, ni límites. Mi esposo esta desempleado y bueno es abrumante cuando lo poco que teniamos esta acabando, pero al leer todas las situaciones por las que pasan mis hermanas, pienso, Señor tu has sido bueno y seguiras siendo bueno, pues su misericordia y fidelidad perduran por siempre. Gracias por abrir sus corazones y recuerdo unas palabras de Pablo en la segunda carta a los corintios:
3Bendito sea el Dios y Padre de nuestro Señor Jesucristo, Padre misericordioso y Dios que siempre nos da consuelo. 4Dios nos consuela en todos nuestros sufrimientos para que también nosotros podamos consolar a quienes sufren, dándoles el mismo consuelo que recibimos de él. 5Así como compartimos los enormes sufrimientos de Cristo, podemos compartir con otros el consuelo que él nos da. 6Si sufrimos, es para el consuelo y la salvación de todos ustedes. Igualmente, si tenemos consuelo es para consolarlos y darles fortaleza para enfrentar con paciencia los mismos sufrimientos que tenemos nosotros. 7Confiamos totalmente en ustedes porque sabemos que así como comparten nuestro sufrimiento, también comparten nuestro consuelo.
I am letting go of a position of some signifigance in a school group that I worked hard at and that I was proud to hold. My kids are moving on to different activities and this, while helpful and enjoyable for a season, is not serving our needs anymore.
I can say that now, but when I was making the decision to let go, I was frustrated with the group….then it dawned on me that they hadn’t changed, we had. Wow, lightbulb moment, and it made me realise how uncomfortable I was, seeking out new experiences and being the “newbie”.????
After realising that I needed to move on and let someone else enjoy this opportunity, I had such peace. I am resigning my position in December, and keeping an eye out for new experiences.
I think the Holy Spirit nudges me in these situations, and encourages me to grow. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I trust God to help us find the right situation in our journey.
Also, thank you, Courtney for your honesty in your ministry. I have always enjoyed your insights and cheerful countenance; but your recent troubles, your determination to honor God through them and your relative transparency about your situation have added an authenticity to this Rest and Release Bible study that speaks to me. God Bless you????
I liked the knife analogy. Mine is not looking at the hills but at the stars at night. I am a night person so I go outside and walk around my house looking at the stars or whatever the sky is like that night and pray. At the end, I actually visualize my loved ones in my hands and I lift them up to God so that He takes them into His hands. Its like I can almost feel Him take them from my hands. And I pray every time for help to leave them there and not take them back into my hands the next morning. It’s tough! But I will continue working on it. Thanks!
Thanks, I’m going to do this.
I’m a caregiver too.
Hi. Well i am wow factor with Courtney video and also with your statement. I want to let go of someone but cannot. I give it to Jehovah but then next minute i go and get it back. I am going to try walking around my house and look at the stars
Wow. I love this Colleen! Although, I’m just now reading your comment, I needed it today. I may try doing this also. Thank you so much for taking the time to share. ❤
The sharp knife analogy spoke your message SO VERY CLEARLY to me. Thank you for that. I just love you, Courtney. I grieve with you, I rejoice in the Savior with you, I just love you. God is working in you and THROUGH you, and I’m so glad you are willing to lead on His behalf. Peace! ~Toni
I don’t comment very often on things but when I do it’s because it really impacted me. Thank you for sharing this, the part in the video where you mentioned if we are worried about our children’s future- that’s me but with my husband, since he decided to become atheist a few years ago, it’s been hard emotionally, mentally and spiritually and I am exhausted and sometimes discouraged. I think I am trying to control what happens to my husband and being so obsessed or worried that he’s doing the right thing that I’m exhausting myself and feel like I’m going crazy. I do have to let it go, but like you said it is hard because….? I’d like to think that I put all my trust in God but maybe I’m really not and I need to just surrender and not worry about it. Sigh.
God has been speaking to me so much through my quiet times with Him and through this study!! I literally cried during the video because you’re knife analogy made everything click for me. God brought me to this study for a reason and He gave you the words that so many of us needed to hear!!
I have to stop my YouTube addiction, my shopping addiction, and my cleaning addiction because they are all draining my soul and keeping me from God. I am currently dealing with pinched nerves and numb feelings in my arms and legs from where I’ve been stressed and constantly going and going and going. God brought me to this place so that I could see the damaging effects of never resting. I deleted my YouTube, I deleted my shopping apps, and I am learning to delegate cleaning tasks to my husband and children…and I am resting in God’s presence! It will be a daily decision I have to make, but I am ready to make it!! I want to grow closer to God and not closer to the world!!
This week was amazing—can’t wait to dive into the coming weeks to gain even more knowledge and the wisdom to apply it to my life!!
Thank you so much for this Bible Study and for today’s video. I am doing this with my mum who lives 665 miles from me in Canada! Today’s video spoke directly to me – the area of releasing the worry and fear I have for our daughter who is struggling so greatly right now has been so hard for me. I realize that I am not trusting God fully with her, and it is wearing on me in every way. I keep on grabbing back that worry and fear … I have to release it and remember that He loves our sweet girl so much more than we ever could – one day He will use this time of struggle in her life for her good and HIS glory! He is so faithful – his ‘track record’ for meeting our every need is perfect – I just have a short memory. Thank you again!
I love your videos and seeing you smile. You are so encouraging! I am dealing with a time issue. As God has continually shown me different areas where I have been holding on to the wrong things for the wrong reasons, today I am reminded to enjoy the weekends. Not to worry if I don’t get done all the things that I have planned to do and to do the chores that I can do. If I do get tired, then it is ok to sit down and come back to the chore later. I know it sounds simple but it is hard to get out of the old way of thinking that things have to be cleaned up or done right now. I remind myself daily that God is the Creator of Time which gives me peace.
Psalm 121:1-3 is my life verse and hearing it in this video is a confirmation. My why is because I have no control over my daughters health. I feel like I have to say yes because of everything. Next week is a meeting with her team and I m giving them the challange of coming up with a plan to give us three months of rest for the first time in years. I have a braclet that says hope and I am going use that trick every time I get anxious. The best part of my day is my bible study time
Thank you! You Bible studies keep me on track better than any other. Very visual images of why we need to let go of non important things! Glad you are back!
Thank you for this study, Courtney, I so needed this! I’m releasing my prodigal son (14) once and for all and I am determined NOT to take back ALL the things regarding his situation. I now see, not only the damage I am doing to myself, but also the damage I am doing to my son’s relationship with God.
So good. I am soaking this in. It’s the first “slow down and rest” study that’s resonating with me- touching and affecting me. Thank you for this. God is using His Spirit to speak to people like me through this study and I am thankful for it. I pray that all the mamas in my life will be touched by your words as I share them as well.
Thank you for having compassion on us and sharing your hard-learned lessons with us. It can be scary but you are blessing alot of us by your couragous sharing.
Can I just say WOW! The example using the knife and a toddler, eye opening. Thank you Courtney, I know this will stay with me always.
Courtney, the knife example was perfect and SO eye opening! Thank you for sharing your gifts with us, you have been a blessing in my life❤️
Right now it isn’t overcommitment – it’s letting go of feelings of “failure” at work. The comments. The self-doubt due to those comments. Opening my hand to let God to take my hand instead. Thank you Courtney.
I struggle from day to day with a lot of things and in order for me to Release & have rest. I try to spend as much time in the lord as possible. Reading his word over & over. So that it can mold me and renew my mind, I also pray , pray and pray about everything as the lord says we should. I try to stay involved with those things that the holy spirit leads me to. Such as this Bible study… since I have tool up this challenge, see the flick of the candle iI pray more and there is a lot of things that I have seen trust in.
Thank You for this. Courtney, You may have a degree in Theology but You are also a MASTER of Communication. With your videos, I always “get it” in a most meaningful way. Thank You. I send you my Love and Blessings.
Absolutely loved this video, given all you’ve been through you are such an inspiration! I pray that one day I will feel that close to God. You say things so simply and honestly it’s like a light bulb moment! Thank you so much for the insight and for all you give us x
Your analogy with the knife brought me to tears…I feel immense guilt for not doing more for my in-laws during the last few years of their lives. I took care of them as their health declined, and eventually we required assistance from home health care and hospice services. They both passed within 3 months of each other two years ago, and I am still beating myself up for so many things. I seem to have a strong grip on my knife, trying to release it and hand it over to God, but this is such a problem for me. I am hopeful I will learn from this study. Thank you.
Our group started a week late but this study was and is perfectly timed for so many of us! Our daily posts have been almost 50% of our group, if not more some days.
We all need to hear and meditate on this truth that we do need rest!
Yes, let’s step into the shade of God’s mighty hand and let Him cover us once agian in His bounteous grace.
I’m so glad to see you back! Thank you so much for this particular start-up is so needed in my life. Thank you for sharing and loving us!
*for this particular study I meant! 🙂
God has led me through a separation with husband through songs by Hillary Scott Thy Will,Still and also Lauren Daigle Trust In You,and through visions.I’m not saying its all cake and ice cream but little by little I am learning.
Good morning…I just stumbled onto thos sight and am very interested in the rest and release study. I see though that it started on October 1st and is only 4 weeks. Are all the videos posted somewhere so that I can still do the complete study? Please let me know. I was thinking of purchasing the kindle edition, is it the same as the paperback? Thanks for getting back to me!
I didn’t watch the videos, to begin with, because I was skeptical on whether or not they would help me, but the use of the knife and the water bottle was very helpful and drove some things home for me! Thank you so much!
Courtney, I know you’ve been going through a terrible time of grief, sadness and change but I think you’re so brave to keep going on and to keep serving the Lord, even when your heart must be breaking inside. I just wanted to say that, from watching your videos, I can see a stronger woman emerging. Keep trusting in the Lord. He’s the friend that sticks closer than a brother and He will NEVER leave you or forsake you. Big hugs, Karen xx
I am late starting this study, but so thankful to have found it. I have been so stressed that I was hauled away from my job last week in an ambulance with my blood pressure at stroke level. Things must change for me! I read one of the days to my husband, and he asked for a copy of it to give to some co-workers! This is awesome! Thank you!!!