/ / Week 3 – Anger Management

Week 3 – Anger Management

 

 

Proverbs 13:3 NIV

There are several reasons why we may feel angry with our children. The book of Proverbs speaks directly to our issues.  Let’s look at a few of the reasons we lose our temper.

1.  Too high of expectations. 

If you hold to the philosophy of “I speak, and the children must obey immediately“, you will be angry often.

How do I know this?

Because by the time my son was 3, I had read many parenting books that convinced me my son was to obey “right away, all the way, with  a cheerful heart.” 

Indeed, Ephesians 6 says that children are to obey their parents and it is my job to teach them to obey.  BUT bad news…they have to be trained to obey…and this takes years and years for children who learn the hard way – and I have two of those types of children! lol!

So my expectations were very high for my pre-schoolers and that made my patience very short.

James 1:20 says that human anger does not bring about the righteousness of God.  And I had to learn that my children were 2 and 4…they had only been on the planet a SHORT time lol!!

It was up to me to get creative – role play, read life giving stories, memorize verses with them, role model cheerfulness and joy, teach them to “try again” when they whined, give consequences for wrong behavior, pray with them, laugh with them, bond with them, enjoy them and praise them…and little by little, after year in and year out of daily pouring into them, I have begun to see fruit of my labor.

Teaching our children to obey is not an overnight process!  It’s a life long process and often God is working as much on us as mommies as he is on our children!  And in our household – honestly – we have a ways to go. (and those of you who know me in real life would agree 🙂  I do not have angelic children.  I have normal children. )

Proverbs 14:29 NIV

2.  Exhaustion. 

The reality is – when we are tired, stressed, and overwhelmed – it’s hard to manage our emotions.  If you know you had a short night of sleep and your children are on your last nerve, zip your lip and pray your way through the entire day.

Don’t require too much of anyone that day…do the bare minimum and get to sleep as soon as you can.  Communicate this to your husband and ask him if he could help you get the kids to bed so you can go to bed early.

Race to your bed!  Nothing is going to  make that day better but sleep.   A well rested mommy is a blessing to her family.

Proverbs 29:22 NIV

3.  Disorganization.

I am not saying we have to be the queen of order but I will say that when we are running late, forgotten an important paper, lost our keys, laundry is piled sky high, toys are everywhere, and bills are overdue…we are going to be a tad bit edgey!

Waking early enough to get alone with God, pray over our day, get filled with his word, think through everyone’s needs, and prepare for the day in advance before the day comes charging at us, will help our irritablity levels.

Proverbs 14:17 NIV

4.  Bitterness in your marriage. 

Beware – if you are struggling in your marriage – there is a temptation to take it out on your children.

I have noticed when my husband does something “annoying” I might not say anything because it’s “not worth fighting over.”  But that annoyance can transfer over to the children.  That is wrong.  Deal with your marriage issues…within your marriage, do not let things simmer under the surface as the anger will come out when you least expect it.

Proverbs 15:1 NIV

 5.  Go to the book of Proverbs. 

Proverbs is stuffed FULL of wisdom for dealing with anger…here is a picture of what I did long ago to Proverbs in my Bible.  I grabbed a pink highlighter and starting in chapter 10, I marked every single verse that referenced how I am to communicate with others.  If this is a weak spot for you – I recommend you do the same.  Once you complete this – commit some of them to memory.  Let God’s word dwell richly in you – there is no greater transforming power on earth than God’s word.

Proverbs 29:11 NIV

Walk with the King!

Courtney

85 Comments

  1. Courtney,

    There is no way that you could know how much I needed to read this at this moment.
    Thank you,

    Heather

  2. So grateful to stumble upon this today!! I struggle with anger and dissapointment with my children, especially my 5 year old who I feel should “know better!” Number 1 hit the nail on my head…high expectations and feeling that “you should and will obey!” I pray daily…but struggle to get past this! Any more words of advice and encouragement would be greatly appreciated!!!

    1. I know how you feel. I have a 5 year old as well and I catch myself thinking she should know better. Yet when I see her asleep it breaks my heart to realize she is still so little. I am not a gentle love dovey person by nature and my darling child is very much that way. It is my constant struggle to be that or her and for my other little one.
      I just wanted to say you are not alone in your high expectations but I know the Lord will see us all through these times.
      I take solace in knowing he sent my darlings to me for a reason. They are what I needed and I am what thy needed. I pray everyday that I can become the mommy that was meant for them. The mommy God knows that I am going to be.
      I’ll be praying for all of us that we can be awesome women of God.

  3. Well said Couurtney! I love your “normal” children and their zeal for life and learning. I needed this and especially liked the part about “racing to bed.” I often drag to bed because this is when I have time to myself. And Proverbs, good stuff in there!!

  4. I totally understand the whole judging other moms, before I had kids I worked at a daycare and I have to confess I was a little harsh in my heart with the parents sometimes. Now that I have my own I realize the callousness of my heart toward them. This past week I had to deal with a temper tantrum from my son in the middle of walmart and PTL I kept my cool and just tried to let him get to the tears part of the tantrum when he would turn to me for comfort. I made a B-line to the car and once we were driving down the road he finally calmed down and wanted comfort. I can’t believe I EVER thought that MY child wouldn’t throw tantrums like THOSE kids at the daycare. God gives more grace! I praise Him that He is teaching me the lessons He is right now through my tiny little son! Thank you for this challenge!

  5. Thank you for the “Gentleness Challange”. As a mother of 5 I have slowly become calloused and crabby with my dear ones. Praying that God will soften my edges and that this challenge will help others avoid this pitfall.

  6. Thank you. I also agree with number one. So true. Praying for the patience to be consistency in training both me and my children. I am going over Proverbs with my kids on school days. Praying that as I go through each day that the truth of God’s word goes deep.

  7. Courtney, my oldest is 13 and I am just feeling like this year we have had a breakthrough in behavior and responsibility for behavior. It has taken me this long to act out what I have read about disciplining each child differently. My two kids are so different and the way I discipline one is not the same for the other. I couldn’t understand how two kids raised in the same home could respond differently to our parenting, but they are individuals! amen. It takes work, prayer, and perseverance!

  8. I can so relate to these words and especially the video because as a Pastor’s son, my son (as well as the whole family) are being “watched” on a constant basis. I remember one time in Pre-K 3, my son brought home a note about not listening in class. The note said for us to speak with him about listening and following directions. I was HORRIFIED! And I went in to speak with the teacher and actually cried because I didn’t want him to be looked upon as a disobedient child. But when I sat down later to think about it, he was only 3 years old. C’mon, what do you expect from a 3 year old. We are all (including the teacher) “training” him at this point. And like you said, he had only been on this earth for 3 years, and the first two he really couldn’t communicate fully at all. Now that he is 4 1/2, there is better understanding but we still don’t have it ALL TOGETHER!! Do we as adults have it all together? I am really LOL now!!! As for the scriptures, these are couldn’t be more on point. Just another reminder the the B.I.B.L.E is our Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth and the Word is never wrong!! Hugs to all of my sisters who are taking this challenge. We WILL get better!!!

  9. Courtney,
    Thank you for speaking on anger. I often deal with this very thing. I appreciate your wisdom and encouragement. You are always such a blessing to my day.

  10. My husband and I, too, read those books about first-time obedience, and it made a lot of sense at the time. We are beginning to re-think this through–not throwing out the baby with the bath water, but looking more to Scripture and the way God deals with us, rather than following to the letter any book written by a human author. There are many books that have great information and wisdom to draw from, but none will be perfect like the Bible!

    I’m so grateful for this challenge. I commented last Sunday that it has helped me be more aware of how I am speaking to my son. As I reflect on this past week, I see where I failed, but also where I improved quite a bit! I think a big part of it is pausing and thinking before opening my big mouth! 🙂

  11. OH-My-LORD! How you always write what I am going through I’ll never know but THANKS! Sooo guilty of high expectations! On my kids and myself. I have a nearly 3 year old and a 6 year old I have caught myself saying “Abby you are sooo….sigh….. being a 3 year old…. and it’s driving me CRAZY!” Little reminder to myself in the midst of could be rage granted by God because normally that thought does NOT pop up in my head. I just want to cry. I have really been working on this area in my life too. I do expect my kids to be more perfect and they are gooood kids. Everyone comments on that as I think in my head seriously??? I obviously need to chill! I think there is a general don’t let anyone know your kids drive you nuts sometimes and mothering is just absolutely wonderful bliss 24/7 kind of vibe out there. Anger is a hush hush. It’s unrealistic. I feel like I am being whacked in the head with the chill out stick. I remember to randomly stop and hug or kiss the kids often. I have even told my 6 year old if Mommy starts to yell say “Mommy I need a hug.” She has used it on me and I remember going oh I have been called out! The whole ordeal was done right there. Puts me in check and I can’t be mad because I told her to.

  12. So struggling right now. Every time I think I finally had a breakthrough, I seem to slip…ever so slowly….back into old, sinful habits. It just seems like everything gets on my nerves right now. I have been way too easily angered and knowing that it’s wrong seems to make it worse. I know I shouldn’t be yelling or getting upset over little things so when I do, the guilt makes my anger worsen somehow. I am re-committing to this challenge tonight and pray that next week I will have good things to report. I am also starting back up your ‘light a candle and pray for peace when you see it’s flicker’ idea tomorrow. I did it in the fall and can feel the lack of prayer in that area. Thank you for being honest and challenging us to be all we can be for the glory of God 🙂

  13. Oh wow!! I have been struggling with this for so long. My 7 year old is a strong willed child. Oh is she ever lol. I have been trying all kinds of things for years hahahaha One day I just started praying and over time I am starting to see the fruit. I love that you are doing this for us. Things are better between her and I but I am definitely going to try what are you posting here for us. I can relate to the crying all week…that was me a few months ago. All I can say is persevere…pray and don’t stop. God is with us and he will help us and we will see fruit. It doesn’t happen over night. But I found when I changed the way I communicate with her it is much better. Don’t get me wrong I still make mistakes but our relationship and her obedience is so much better with God in control instead of me trying to do it all myself. I can’t thank you enough for this and you are a blessing in my life. I have been following GMG and your blog for quite a while and I have learned so much. You are such an inspiration to all. God bless you and your family.

  14. Thank you so so much for this! This is an area of my life that I know God is calling me to work on, and I can only do that by allowing Him to work in me. I also homeschool my two ages 7 and 9 and the one thing I can say is that homeschooling has offered me many more “opportunites” to work on this area. I am so thankful for your ministry!

  15. LOVE this week’s check in. Thank you for taking the time to post this incredible info. It’s so valuable! Bringing this stuff to light will help so many! Especially me.

  16. I am thankful to have stumbled upon your blog today. I have been angry but mostly frustrated with my 17 year old daughter. We adopted her when she was 11, she is bipolar, severely depressed, PTSD, and several other things. Last week she decided to steal my debit card and buy games on amazon. I caught it the next day, but she lied so well about how she was able to buy so much. The lying is what bothers me the most. I am working at getting over the anger, but words keep coming out of my mouth…I know it is what is in my heart coming to the outside. I want to change that, but I can’t seem to let it go. Of course this wasn’t the first time she has stolen from us or lied to us. It’s just that I thought she was getting better and then she jumps right back to the bottom again. I am going to work on my expectations and see if that helps along with the constant praying! Thank you!

  17. Thank you for this. It’s exactly what I needed to hear today. When I get frustrated and don’t respond in love, my 6 year old comes to me with scripture. Her favorite, “Mommy, a soft answer turns away wrath.” Why can’t I just remember to respond softly before she has to point out my sin???

  18. Hi! what an honest discussion you’ve started! Good for you!
    I have to share a little bit I’ve learned as a perfectionist and mom of over 17 years. My expectations weren’t limited to my kids, but myself as well. I had unrealistic expectations of myself that were undefined and as I failed to meet my own expectations, no one else in my sphere could do things right either. God graciously taught me that his standard is so high (true perfection) that I could never measure up, but by his grace, he chose to fill the gap with ongoing forgiveness and redemption. Everything is redeemed as his redemption is ongoing and unending. When I learned this, it helped me enjoy myself and my imperfections, and those around me-like my kids.
    Of course, God has used my children to teach me about living in faith authentically, more than any other teaching tool. I’ve learned to not lash out at my kids and husband, and importantly, to not harbor a grudge against myself. Often holding onto internalized frustration leads to self-grudges and these drive a huge wedge between us and God. I encourage others to pray Psalm 139 and ask God to reveal and remove the self-imposed expectations and the weight of failure and self-hate they load upon you and learn freedom in the simple truth that you are made wonderfully and loved lavishly – this we can readily share with our kids and others when we’ve learned to fill up on it!

    1. Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience Alyssa! My children are 3 and 5, and so I am in the midst of “learning the hard way”. But your words are encouraging and I really enjoyed reading them 🙂

  19. Courtney, This challenge has been such an amazing blessing in my life (and my kids too). Like so many other moms, I too have struggled with excessively high expectations, especially with our 9 yr old. I have been following this challenge since week 1 and have already seen progress, baby steps, but progress all the same. Something Angela said in last week video that has really stuck with me is that having a straight A student isn’t a measure of success. Having a child who grows to love & serve God above all else is the measure of a successful parent! I knew this in my head, but now I think my heart finally got it! PTL!!! Also, your quote from week 1 that we are not to be our children’s Holy Spirit. OUCH! That one hurt. It so easy for me to forget that God desires them to love and serve him even more than I do. I’m called to teach, train & pray. He directs their steps & hearts. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us mommies. OUR CHILDREN & HUSBANDS THANK YOU!

  20. Thank you Courtney and Angela for sharing and being honest.
    I have a lot to learn, but I know with God’s help anything is possible.
    By the time my first child was born I thought I had it al together 🙂 and was ready for any situation.
    Little did I know this was going to be a chapter in my life I have never learned more about myself so far and I think this lesson is only just begun. It’s important to stay humble and also not to be so hard on yourself and your children.

  21. This is a wonderful blog and I particularly liked the topic anger management. I think many people will want to learn how to control their anger and be cool always especially with kids. I have to thank you for sharing this information with everyone and keep up the hard work….

  22. Thank Thank Thank,

    I have an 11 month old, am going through a divorce ( not by choice , fought it tooth and nail) , I also work nights so I can be home day w/ my daughter. Needless to say I am tying to be super mom because I don’t have as much help as I once did. It been an emotional roller coster for me for the past 3 months, I even tend to get frustrated at my 11 month for goodness sack. It makes me feel awful . I mean she can;t even talk, she relies soley on me or her father. When you wrote , that stress, when your tired, or problems in your marrage tend to contribute a mother to take things out on there child, I statrted to cry. Now I know I have to learn to give it to god and pray on it ,and learn to walk away sometimes.

    Thank you

    Ashley

  23. Hi! I have been following along / joining in / sharing with others this wonderfully amazing challenge. Last week’s thought of whispering when wanting to yell helped and made me think. Thank you! I am praying for all the mothers who are doing this challenge too!

  24. I have struggled with anger for years. I so appreciate this blog! Right now my family’s been dealing with the nasty, dreaded stomach bug, and one of my children is NOT a good hand-washer, and balks loudly about having to wash his hands at all. I FREAK whenever my kids don’t wash hands properly or put fingers or other things into their mouths (I’m emetophobic, which means I have a fear of being physically ill or seeing others become physically ill). Yes, it is a real phobia that most people can’t understand, but can be very debilitating as a mom. As a result, I flew off the handle last night when one of my children, who is getting over the stomach bug, didn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom. Two of my children, both boys, also have some special needs (Tourette’s, Aspergers, ADHD), and it’s a struggle to homeschool them and deal with social differences. I need to write these verses on my heart and keep them handy on my fridge.

  25. I’m sure I can relate to anger stemming from each one of those situations but mainly the first one though. I am trying to figure how to love and show grace but also teach them to obey “quickly and with a cheerful heart.” It’s so tough sometimes! Thank you for sharing this and encouraging us that these things don’t happen overnight but that it does take years of training! I am so hard on myself with that, too. 🙂

  26. Wow… this was SO good for me to read… especially #1. Thank you for the reminder to get creative! I tend to be a very cut and dry sort of person!! I’ll be praying through this today!!

  27. I stuggle with all theese aspects of being a mom. Your post was very encouraging for me today. Makes me stop and think about my actions as a mother. Thanks for sharing this with all of us. 🙂

  28. I’ve had a constant struggle with anger for a long time, so I really appreciate this post and discussion. My expectations are way too high, my 5yo daughter is extremely strong willed/spirited, and our family has experienced several stressful events over the last few years. With everything combined, I feel like a ticking time bomb most days. God knew I needed this Gentleness Challenge!

  29. Thank you for this challenge. And today’s topic was exactly what I needed.

    May God continue to bless everyone and give you all enough. Including enough patience to deal with our precious gifts he has given us.

    Heather

  30. I have been so encouraged by your blog, especially the Gentleness Challenge. At this time, I am currently in a postion where I need to work outside of the home & often times, the most amount of time I get to spend with my children is after a long day at the office. Sometimes I can easily step into the calm-mom-mode, while other times this tired mommy comes across grumpy. Thank you for the words of encouragement, especially reminding me of what the Bible has to say about my words (and actions) and that my children (2 & 5) have only lived on the earth for a short time & need to be trained on what it means to obey. Thank you! What a revelation?!!? lol 🙂

  31. Oh WOW! Thank you SO much for the topic of anger today. God knew I needed this. I had an absolutely horrible day yesterday. Mostly due to my own physical pain & sheer exhaustion. Why is it SO hard to recognize that breaking point before we get there. UGH!hy

  32. This is such a great blog. I needed something uplifting this morning and this was perfect! Thank you and God bless!

  33. Thank you for being so REAL, and for posting this. It’s obvious that I need to refer to Proverbs again… This time I’ll keep a highlighter handy.

    P.S. I’m so glad to know that it’s not just me who struggles with this, ESPECIALLY with having too high/unrealistic expectations for our children. I know I need to work on that more than anything else…

  34. Such a great post! I get angry because of the notion that my kids should obey “all the way, right away, with a cheerful heart”, those are great books that say that, but it can leave a wrong expectation in moms. We don’t always obey that way when God calls, I have to remember to discipline and train my kids, but to also give them grace, understanding, and encouragement. I can also greatly relate to your thoughts on organization. My hubby and I are both on edge a big more when things aren’t organized.

  35. I am really going to need this one. This is the third time my need to look at anger management has come up. I have the book The Heart of Anger and am going to work in that, but I love this idea of going through Proverbs and highlighting. Pray for me because I’m in a few challenges and I dont feel any of them are going very well. I may have to take it slower, one at a time, but they are all important though and tie into each other. Thanka for your blog. Looking forward to the Ephesians study today as well.

  36. I really need to get over my fear of highlighting in my Bible. It’s the most important text book for life! Why I have no problems highlighting in textbooks that I plan on keeping to help me in my career, but I canNOT bring it to the most important book, is beyond me. But I really need to start. Your post hurt me today. But, it isn’t a bad thing. I obviously NEEDED it. I was one of those women that never wanted to have children. I love my son, and he’s been my greatest teacher. However, I expect him to be a little adult instead of the wonderful, precocious 3 year old that he IS. I need to allow for him to BE what he is instead of demanding him to be what I think he OUGHT to be. Thank goodness, God doesn’t expect the same out of me! I really need to take a cue. He gently guides me to His way. I really need to breathe and GUIDE my son. OH my do I have some serious praying to do! Thank you, Courtney!

  37. Thank you for sharing this Courtney! What an important message! How little prepared we often are for the realities of motherhood, and how confusing those parenting books can be with so many different “cures” and guarantees for “fixing” our children (ask me how I know!). Your post cut straight to the chase! Thank you for presenting this challenge and offering community and goals to reach for! May God richly bless you as you serve Him!

  38. Unfortunately, I find myself constantly quoting, “A fool gives full vent to his anger.” Thanks for posting this!! It’s amazing the bad habits that we realize once we have children. We need to view ourselves from a toddler’s eyes and imagine how terrifying we must look to them when we lose our tempers. A little self-control goes a long way!

  39. Thank you Ladies
    This is a reminder that we all have trials. I am so encouraged by this study!! God is working in my heart and life. I read Proverbs through every month. It’s very helpful also.
    Please continue what you do. You both are a blessing.
    Love
    Michelle

  40. Courtney,
    Thank you so much for sharing this and for doing this challenge! God knew that I needed this! I struggle with anger that I picked up from my mom, but I have to own it and submit it to God. It is a contant battle. I also realized that when I have a good day or two, I can’t think that I have overcome it. I must constantly seek Christ and allow Him to change me. I just recently adopted my two daughters that I have had for a year. This is all new for me. I want so bad to be a good mom to them and to point them to Christ. Thank you for sharing your heart! I am so glad for His constant love and grace!!!

  41. I love this! This is an area God has been working on with me. I also notice we expect from our children what we think is expected from us by God. The more the revelation of the love of God and how he truly sees and deals with us the better we will treat others.

  42. This was so helpful and encouraging – thank you! I just read this week in Matthew where Jesus says the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart (Matthew 12:34) and God asked me in my quiet time, what is filling my heart?? Is His word and truth and good thoughts about my children and husband filling my heart, or negative critical words and thoughts filling my heart? For more angry words will come from my mouth if those types of thoughts are filling my heart! It’s such a daily struggle with young children who repeatedly do the same things they aren’t supposed to. But how does getting angry with them accomplish anything (I’m asking myself that question!!) I also acknowledged that a lot of my anger is indirectly targeted towards God sometimes because there are situations that He allows me to be in – but I know it’s for my refinement and must stop resisting! Thank you again!

  43. I was recently blessed with what I originally saw as a curse to stay at home with my 2 year old son 24/7. I have only now begun to see the tremendous impact it has had not only on him, but on myself as well. I struggled so much in the area of being stressed and tired and in turn, took it out on him. Reading this challenge has been such an encouragement to me. Already, in 3 weeks time, my son is gentler and more cuddly. He has taken to minding me and wants to spend every waking moment with me. Our relationship has been taken to a whole new level thanks to God softening my heart and giving me this site to encourage growth. Thanks so much! Can’t wait to get out the highlighter…Lord knows I need that in my Bible!

  44. Thank you so much for writing. Thankfully, this post was the first thing after I read my Bible this morning. I love waking up to my Monday morning posts from you! You are such an inspiration to me. I can so relate to what you said about “too high of expectations” I have a 2 and 4 year old and it was a great reminder for me today to hear you say that they have only been on this planet for a short time. So true! I will be working on training my children more instead of just expecting things. Also, this past week the reminder to whisper really helped me! Thanks!

  45. Well, it appears that the Lord wants me to take the “Gentleness Challenge.”. My husband and I have been discussing our anger toward our children out of frustration. I can see its effect on my daughter because she has started responding just like i do to her to her little brother. That’s a real eye opener. So now I’m going to hit my knees in prayer to become a gentler mom.

    1. I too am seeing my angry responses having this affect on my children. How thankful I am that the Lord can work grace in their lives in spite of my failures.

  46. Courtney, thank you so much for this challenge! I don’t consider myself an angry person, but I see my patience and gentleness wane from time to time. This series has been great to follow and put myself in check not only with my children but my husband as well. I appreciate the scriptures you share and the insight you give from a real perspective. Thank you again! I truly look forward to your posts.

  47. Wow! This series has been getting to the heart of things for me. I have struggled for a LONG time with anger issues, most completely unjustified. I desire so much to see the Lord work in this area of my life, but I feel like I take one step forward and several backwards every time I seek to consciously work on controlling my tongue. It’s affecting my relationship with my husband and with my children.
    I have four young boys, ages 7,4, 2, and six months. I’m seeking to teach them God’s way, but without the support of my husband because he has not yet surrendered his life to God. I’m homeschooling. I’m struggling still with Post Partum Issues. The list goes on…
    Yet, in the midst of all of this that seems so overwhelming to me, I KNOW God is greater. He is powerful. He is working, even when I don’t see any fruit! :/
    Thank you for number one. I started out my journey in motherhood reading a book that emphasized that “obedience is immediate and with the right attitude” but real life is getting in the way of that! I want to learn more about how to shew GRACE to my children. I am more and more aware of my own failures before God and His faithful love and forgiveness towards me. How I long to teach THAT pattern to my children. How I long to be a witness to that love and forgiveness to my husband and children.
    Thank you for your openness and honesty in this study. Please pray for me, that the Lord would do a lasting work in my life in this area. I want to live the love He has bestowed on me!

  48. This was very helpful for me to think over what circumstances would make it more likely to sin in the area of communicating with kids. After thinking through it, I realized that I really only choose to sin in anger when one of the above listed circumstances are occuring. Knowing tha,t I am now preparing to lessen those circumstances as much as I possibly can, and then preparing for when those circumstmaces do arise (because obviously I cannot control everything—nor should I try to because that is a whole different issue!). Preparation includes: posting some of those verse in various “trouble spots” in my home, and lots of prayer–at the beginning of my day–but even in more so in the midst of the tough circumstamce (that is where I struggle the most—to stop & pray).

  49. I’m so thankful for your Gentleness challenge… and actually, as I was praying through and setting my 2012 goals, one thing the Lord gave me was to focus on a 4 different areas of my life that need serious refinement- with Gentleness being the first one I’m focusing on. 🙂 I love how He brings things all together! I’ve appreciated the Scripture and encouragement of your posts!

  50. I’m so glad I stumbled upon this. This is my biggest challenge with my children. I love them so dearly, yet sometimes must come off so horrible and scary to them. I keep praying… :’)

  51. All I can say is “Thank You”. To both Courtney and ALL the ladies who have commented HONESTLY. How difficult this is to do in real life. Be open and honest about our struggles with motherhood.

    THANK YOU ALL!

  52. The Lord is up to something with me. Wow. I just “stumbled” upon your blog, and the Lord hit me in the heart directly. I need this challenge. I know I do. I am so thankful for this and I look forward to getting to the heart of my anger issues and becoming the gentle woman I know that the Lord wants me to be.

  53. Thank you for the suggestion in #5 – I will be doing the same this week! One thing that is very hard for me is to behave the way I WANT to rather than the way I do. I contradict myself through my behaviour far too often – being cranky, lazy, snappy or irritable. I want to have a peaceful, enthusiastic, patient and calm heart towards others and for some reason it’s really hard more times than not. SO, I am hoping the exercise you mention in #5 will be helpful to me. Thanks!

    Also, thank you for sharing the stories about the families in each of your bible studies from the summer time. I hope that these families, young ones and individuals are doing well and are surrounded by Christ’s love and fellowship. God Bless!

  54. I read through Proverbs during November and I found a lot of verses about being gentle in my words and actions. Wow, I need to review those verses daily and post them around my house! Being a parents is so hard because I want to do it so right and I feel like I fail all the time. The only thing that I need to do is spend time with God and get his wisdom and ask him to be with me during those hard moments.

  55. This hit home! I never knew I struggled with anger until I got married and even more so when I had kids. I was horrified at myself because how could I be like this to my precious gifts from God? I especially love the part about expectations – like you I’ve read book after book convincing me my 3 year old should have obedience the first time every time with joy. And you’re right, when it doesn’t happen, anger results! Thanks for the reminder of gentleness and having realistic expectations!

  56. Thank you so much for doing this. After a hard last few days, after watching this, I am feeling at peace right now. You are changing me and helping me to become a better wife and mother. I am so thankful!!

  57. While lying in bed during this 4th night of church camp, I was awaken by a text from my boyfriend and it immediately sent me ablaze. First, because it was at 4:30 in the morning, and second because it hurt my feelings. Needless to say, I wanted magically and quickly put a stop to those feelings a go back to sleep, but I couldn’t. So I started reading a few scriptures and eventually ended up on Pinterest.. So glad I did. I’m so glad I made it to this pin!!! It is exactly what I’ve been needed.. My 5 year old is here with me, he not old enough to attend, but because I’m here he was able to come. I wanted him to have a great time and experience some fun, but I now realize that I have made that very impossible for him. As an educator, I have set very high expectations for him and I now know that they are going to backfire in my face. I get so angry when he doesn’t get the things I think he should or if he doesn’t remember the things I think he should. As I lay here in this twin size bed next to him (Friday is not coming fast enough) I realize that I’m not a failure and that I’m not alone. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! It has really put some things in a new perspective for me… Ironically, the theme this year is “all things new: look what God is doing;” Id been feeling like my being here for the children was a waste, now I see, my being here was for me…. GOD IS AWESOME!!!!

  58. what book are you all reading? I struggle with this (anger and unkind words) and would love to read this and visit the bible to WRONG point of view.

  59. Most of all think that anger is a bad hing, but anger is a normal human emotion and it wasn’t bad until and unless it was in control. Deep Breathing will helps you to relax from the feelings of anger. For instance listening to soothing music, little bit of walk, painting helps you focus on the moment and find calmness.

  60. I just wept my way through this post. I don’t even know how I found it but my heart needs Jesus in this area so much. My little girl and I were such good friends before my son was born. When baby #2 came, my approach with her probably violated her little heart so much with my exhaustion and frustrations giving way to anger with her. My expectations are probably way too high and I miss the mommy I used to be. I pray that I can move forward with the beauty of self control and a sweet and gentle spirit to bless her and protect her emotionally! Rich life giving words that are sweet to her heart is what I desire to nourish her with! I really hate it when I yell or condemn her. It’s so hard. She is so so precious to me! Thank you for this amazing site.

  61. You’re so cool! I do not suppose I’ve read
    anything like that before. So good to find another person with genuine thoughts on this
    topic. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This site is something that
    is needed on the internet, someone with some originality!

  62. Hi Courtney – I am struggling with anger. I was so encouraged when I found this post. Is there a way to see the video you posted with it -it is saying “private”.
    Thank you for all of your shared insight and encouragement.
    Lori

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