2 weeks ago, I posted a blog post about a woman who confronted me for being immodest. While the post was mainly about modesty, a huge part of the conversation to follow was about this woman who confronted me. To be honest, the focus was not meant to be on her and I didn’t expect the huge response that post received! (It was shared on facebook over 9,959 times – and in one day I had a whopping 89,000 visitors to my blog!)
I’ve received emails and comments from women begging me to say something about this woman who many called…”legalistic, harsh, mean, jealous, rude, disrespectful” and so forth.
So the question is – how do I feel about that woman who confronted me?
I have one word…
I would have liked her confrontation to have oozed grace…and God’s word says to “do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31NIV)
Within my post, I was honest that the relationship was strange but I commended her for the way she confronted me privately. I am honestly thankful for her call and if I ran into her in the grocery store today…which could happen – she only lives 15 minutes from me – I could thank her for confronting me because it DID help me. And grace would cover everything else…because we are all a work in progress…all of us NEED grace.
And while many cried out that she should have given me grace – I cry out on her behalf and ask for us to give her …what many thought she should have given me – and that’s grace.
I think this is a problem within the church amonsgt sisters in Christ. We can become too sensitive and hold grudges against other women who said things in a wrong tone or in an uninvited way. The church is made up of people from all different kinds of backgrounds and personalities. It is EXTREMELY easy to get our toes stepped on. But if we respond to every wrong with bitterness, the church will cease to be a light in this dark world.
Jesus said ” By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Every church has its handfull of difficult people. No church is perfect. I heard this Francis Chan video LONG ago and it cracks me up!
We’ve all been there…we’ve all faced someone in our life that we hold a grudge against because of something they said. This lady said this to me TEN years ago!! Yet I’ll never forget it – some of you have been holding grudges for 10 years or maybe even more! I beg you to…
Matthew 18:21,22 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me?Up to seven times?”22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times“
Rick Warren’s says in “The Purpose Driven Life” “What are you doing personally to make your church family more warm and loving? There are many people in your community who are looking for love and a place to belong. The truth is, everyone needs and wants to be loved, and when people find a church where members genuinely love and care for each other you would have to lock the doors to keep them away.”
Did you see that?
When people find a church where members GENUINELY love and care for each other you would have to LOCK THE DOORS to keep them away! I want that kind of church!!!! And it starts with ME!
I think the focus should not be on others who have hurt us but on ourselves – what are we doing personally to make our church families more warm and loving?
So I want to bring this discussion full circle – the last post was about modesty – not about the woman who confronted me. And this post, is about loving the difficult women in our church – not about the woman who confronted me. We can’t change others – but we can change ourselves. We can’t change others mistakes but we can learn from them. We must press on toward maturity and the mark of a mature woman in Christ will be one who loves the Lord so much she is willing to extend grace to her sisters in Christ because that is how Christ loves them.
John 4:11 says “Since God loves us, we ought also to love one another”