The end of 2012 was really hard for me. In November, I had a little meltdown late one night as my husband and I talked about life. I started crying and just couldn’t stop – which is very unlike me. I think I cried for over an hour. I was simply exhausted and the idea of adding my Christmas to-do list to homeschooling and blogging and book edits — completely overwhelmed me.
Of course, it was all so clear for my husband that I should just put the blog on hold till after the book edits were complete (they were due January 2nd to Thomas Nelson) and until Christmas was over (seems reasonable right?)…but that was VERY hard for me to do. I had tons of Christmas posts lined up in my mind!!! And I wanted to share the holiday season with you all!
But I took my husband’s advice and abruptly went on a bloggy break.
Once the noise of the on-line world was silenced…I could see a lot of things in my personal life that needed to be dealt with. I needed to be praying more. Period. My 2012 prayer journal was pathetically empty…pages and pages and pages of my 5 Subject Notebook that is typically bursting full with life at the end of the year EMTPY! What in the world? I’ve been prayer journaling for nearly 20 years and never had I had such a pathetic year of prayer!
I needed to be exercising again. I needed to be reading good books for my own soul – not just to review and promote on the blog. I needed to be a better friend to my real-life friends. Part of my evening of sobbing to my husband hinged on the fact that two of my dearest long time friends had painfully difficult years this past year and I was not there for them. I was so busy on-line that I did not take them a meal or write them encouragement notes. I prayed for them and hugged them and listened to them. But I in no way served them or was there for them. I regret this…and fear gripped me as I realized if I keep living like I did in 2012, I will have no real-life friends!!!
As January rolled around on the calendar, I realized…I had lost my edge. My exhaustion sucked the life and passion out of me to do ministry. All I wanted to do was play, eat, sleep, exercise and read good books. Writing was the last thing on the list I wanted to do…and then I read 2 Kings 6.
It’s a strange story tucked right into 2nd Kings and it was wondrously applicable – I mean REVOLUTIONARY to me! Some of you may remember that I wrote about my need to “sharpen my axe“. I knew I was feeling dull but I was worse off than I thought…I wasn’t just dull – my edge was gone!
And I just wonder…have you lost your edge too? Maybe it’s not from blogging…but maybe it’s from parenting a difficult teen or being up late at night with your babies or maybe you are a missionary on the mission field and ministry has sucked the life out of you too.
Maybe you are in a church where very few serve and there’s a lot of takers and you are tired of giving. Maybe you are stressed out, your calendar is too full, your bank statement is depressing or you are trapped in a circumstance that frustrates you. Your hope is gone and the spark you once had has fizzled. Maybe your heart for the lost or the poor or the sick or the needy has hardened or grown cold. And you feel like you just can’t do it anymore.
Whatever it is that has caused you to lose your edge – listen to this story out of 2nd Kings!
(If you cannot see this video – click here)
If you’ve lost your edge, go into a room alone and close the door. Get on your knees and ask the Lord to supernaturally bring it back.
I have been daily praying,
“Oh Lord, bring back my edge…”
Ps. I may have lost my edge – but Good Morning Girls is ON FIRE!!! Our Bible study in the book of Luke is about to begin (the 8 week winter session begins Monday, Jan. 14th). We have thousands of women enrolled and the FREE ebook and Bible reading plans have now been translated into EIGHT different languages!!! Cue the confetti and cartwheels! God is amazing! He is doing an amazing work around the world over at GMG! If your first language is Hungarian, Russian, Swedish, Dutch, German, Spanish, Croatian or French hop on over to GoodMorningGirls.org and get your materials in your OWN language FREE!!!!