4 Qualities of a {Radical} Older Woman

The Bible calls for women to live radical lives, and it especially calls older women to radical living. Here are the four qualities a radical older woman needs.  #WomenLivingWell #titus2 #women #onlineBiblestudy

Older women – this post is for you!  Younger women – this post is for you too!  Today – we leave off where I finished last week in our discussion of what a {radical} woman looks like.  For the next few weeks we will be going virtue by virtue through Titus 2 and looking at what God has called women to be.

I feel like I am straddling the older and younger category these days.  I have the sun spots and gray hair coming in to prove it. Lol!  So I guess I would consider myself – middle aged (I’m 39 in August).

Titus 2:3 says: “Older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women…”

Here we have a list of character qualities that older women in the church should contain.  Younger women – pay attention – this is a goal for us too!

The 4 qualities of a {Radical} Older Woman are:

1.) She is reverent in her behavior.

2.) She is not a slanderer.

3.) She is not a slave to wine.

4.) She teaches what is good to the younger women.

Pop quiz time!  Grade yourself – how many of these qualities do you currently possess?  Let’s look at each one closely.

First, she is reverent in her behavior.

The word reverent here can also be translated as the word respectable or holy.  A {radical} older woman, pursues holiness in the way she treats others, in the way she dresses, in the way she loves her family and in the way she serves in the church.

Proverbs 11:16 says “A kind hearted woman gains respect.”  Be kind.

Proverbs 12:4 says “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown.”  Be noble.

A reverent woman isn’t selfish or rude. She doesn’t cut in line or cut people off when they talk. She is patient and humble with others.  She is not jealous or competitive but rather self-sacrificing.  She fears the Lord and obeys his word.

Second, she is not a slanderer.  

In the Greek, the word slander is diabolos – the same word translated as Devil.  It means to accuse or give false information.  It is so very important that the older women in the church look at the younger women and LOVE them rather than accuse them of their short comings.  Don’t judge them –rather come along side them and guide them.  Don’t let the age gap be a rift rather build a bridge and connect with them.

Words are powerful and it’s out of the overflow of our hearts that our mouths speak. Our words reveal our thought life and our hearts.  OUCH! Friends, this is not an easy topic for me to write on – I’m a TALKER!  Thankfully, this does not say we can’t talk but it does say we MUST filter our words – which starts with filtering our thoughts.

Our words can be insensitive and have the power to wound, tear down, discourage, gossip, betray, make someone feel unloved, uncared for, and basically be – diabolos – malicious, a slanderer, critical and dishonoring to God.  But praise be to God, through his power, our words can heal, build up, encourage, give praise, thanksgiving, share joy, make someone feel loved and cared for, comfort, show sensitivity, refresh someone else’s spirit and glorify God.

Which list above reflects your words?

Let’s pray Psalm 141:3 over our words:

“Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

Third, she is not a slave to wine.  

This is the first time alcohol has come up in my 6 years of blogging.  I do not believe that drinking alcohol is wrong (as clearly Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine), but the Bible does state that drunkenness is a sin.  As a result, I have chosen to abstain from all alcohol.

Here we see a different issue addressed in Titus 2. It is not talking about drunkenness but rather enslavement or addiction to wine.  Alcohol has an addictive nature about it.  Some are more susceptible to addiction than others. It’s active ingredients can cause some whose bodies are wired towards addiction, to crave more and more until they are caught in a trap and no matter how hard they try, they cannot stop themselves from craving more.

Older women, you are to be our example.  Show us how to not be addicted to wine. Show us how to drink in a reverent way – or not drink at all.  My generation has chosen to take great liberty in this area.  For those whose bodies cannot handle it –they are headed down a dark road of destruction.  If you are stuck in an addiction, repent – get help, seek out accountability and get it all out of your house.

I Corinthians 10:31 says “Whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

Finally, she teaches what is good to the younger women.  

A woman who possesses the above three qualities is qualified to teach the younger women.

Are you qualified?  Do you possess the above qualities?

If your answer is yes, then you my friend, are {radical}!  You are living a life of holy pursuit, love and godliness.  And the young women NEED your influence.

If your answer is no, you are not alone. We all are on a journey towards maturity.  None of us have arrived – not even those who answered yes.  We all need the blood that Jesus shed on the cross to cover over our sin and the power of the resurrected Jesus to enable us to walk in holiness.

Let this be the day  you determine to become a Titus 2 woman!

Let this be the day you ask God for wisdom and pursue godly character!

Let this be the day you declare a hot pursuit to become a {radical} older woman!

Elisabeth Elliot poem

Dear Older Women –Whether you are aware or not – young women’s eyes are watching you.  Please lead us to the arms of Jesus and to a life of holiness.

Walk with the King,


***This post is a part of the Summer {Radical} Women Living Well Series.  Here are the other posts in this series.

{Radical} Women –Living Well

4 {Radical} Ways to Love Your Husband and Children

5 {Radical} Qualities Young Women Should Pursue

The Effects of Feminism on Women in the Church


  1. I loved this post! I recently attended my first bible study at my local church and was amazed by how women of different ages and stages of life could come together to support, encourage and learn from one another. At thirty I might not consider myself an older women but to a fifteen year old girl I would be. There is always another generation behind us that we can influence.

  2. Titus 2 has always been a favorite of mine. This verse and the Proverbs 31 Woman help me to know what sort of woman I should be for my family. I just struggle, more often than not, to be that woman. Thank you, Courtney, for reminding us what our purpose is in God’s world!

  3. Love this post, Courtney! (Although I have never thought of a 39 year old as being middle aged, but I guess you are right!) I love your heart to live this out. What an important calling! Having been in ministry to younger people for over 20 years, my husband and I have also taken the same stand concerning alcohol. Sadly, we have gotten more criticism from believers for taking that stand than from non believers. But we know that being in the positions we have been in, we need to abstain!

    I appreciate you sharing. It is always good for me to reevaluate how I am doing in these areas!

    Grace to you!

  4. Wow! What a very timely lesson, thank you for your insight. I am encouraged to be that example for the younger women.

  5. The older woman I admire, in addition to those qualities, take EXCELLENT care of themselves. They radiate beauty, high energy, and health.

  6. I believe what makes an older woman radical is being willing to teach young women to love their husbands, be obedient to their husbands, to be chaste {modest}, and keepers at home. Few older women want to teach younger women, let alone teach these things to them which are so politically incorrect today. I am accused of criticizing women for teaching God’s Truth the way He commands that I teach it. It is not an easy road, but a very rewarding one when you see marriages saved, women coming home to raise their children, and families held together by God and His Word.

  7. Last week you asked where the older women were… I remember asking myself that when I was 34 and incharge of the nursery with another gal my age, taught SS to toddlers, was a secretary for Awana, and had 4+ children at the time. Now that I am in my 50s I see where the older women are…they are the pillars around me. They have a wealth of knowledge and are waiting for me and younger women to come to them. They do not carry signs on them that advertise their knowledge nor how they gained it. They posses the meek and quiet spirit that I didn’t have back then. They will only speak when then they know the listener wants to hear. They do not waste their words, as I did when I was younger. They listen…they help those who will appreciate their help. They have lived through too much pain in their years to just blab. Sure, they can still small talk, and they will. When you need a wise answer…they are there..but be ready to listen and have it said straight. Be ready to have the truth spoken. Be ready to change….for the good of your husband, your family, the body of Christ..and mostly for His glory!
    Keep up the good work of encouraging women to do what they know is right….each of you!

  8. For many, many years, I have also taught that no matter what your stage in life – there is always someone younger than you that you can train…. even our youngest daughters…. It is all about making a difference in our lives for Christ.

    I do think that as an older woman – we should be seeking out these younger women. Right now, I am around a lot of younger women – who think they have it all down (when they don’t)…. So I guess I understand what MB mentioned about – not that I think that is how it should be. 🙁

    Thank you again – for these posts…. 🙂

  9. I just turned 35 this spring and am still working on taiming my toung. I have been getting more intentional about what I don’t say just because it pops into my head but I have yet to conqure this amazing muscle in my body. I would love to have my toung tamed and that it would be a blessing to all who hear what comes from my mouth, I fear I am farther that I had hoped when I stopped to consider it through God’s eyes just now though. Looking back it seems like I’ve come a long way, but I have such a long way to go in this area of my life yet. I look forward to God growing me in this eara a little more each day! *small smile* Have a lovely day and thanks for the reminder. Sincerely, Mommy of two growing blessings & so much more!

  10. What a great post! Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us! I especially like the graphic at the end – beautiful 🙂

  11. This post touched me in so many ways! I am now 46, single, and have no children. However, I mentor so many young women who I know God has put in my life to be a role model and example of excellence. I know that I must show these girls Christ through my words and actions. Thank you for reminding me how much of a difference I can truly make in spreading the Lord’s love by just living out His word and continuing to love others by showing them how much God loves them. This post was beautiful!

  12. I LOVE the way you handled the alcohol portion of this text. In the past, I have seen it handled legalistically or just skipped over entirely. I appreciate so much your heart to share and address the passage in its entirety. Thank you for the encouragement and for giving me so much to think and pray about. I am super excited about this series.

  13. I don’t comment very often on blogs. However, I have been following you for a while and really appreciate your willingness to speak truth without wavering. I love that I can contact with your and other blogs/facebook Bible studies and find so many who hold to the same convictions that I do. Thank you for your willingness to share.

  14. Great post! I’m so excited about the Radical series you’re doing this summer!

    I wanted to add something to your insight on alcohol. I have a lot of Christian friends who don’t drink and they can really sit in judgement over people who do (I know that is not what you’re doing). I just wanted to point out that there are other addictions that can have the same hold on us – maybe it’s an addiction to food, an addiction to sugar, an addiction to facebook, pinterest, technology…the list goes on and on. As always, we need to always be looking inward and taking care of the log in our own eye before removing the splinter in somebody else’s. Just wanted to mention that.

    Thanks so much for all you do!

    1. Shari – thank you for sharing this point.

      Addiction can even come in a “good” form too such as working out, shopping, reading, and the like. I find it interesting how women can look down upon a mother for drinking alcohol, all the while spending hours at the gym away the family. Or when a women criticizes another for spending too much time on the internet, while she herself is spending too much time shopping using credit cards.

      I believe that the passage “slave to wine” means slave to ______ (fill in the blank) addiction.

      Everything in moderation while maintaining balance in the home is key.

  15. Wow…what a powerful post! Thank you so much for sharing. I too am on the cusp of going from younger to older. (I am turning 39 for the second year in a row in July). I have found myself to be much more conscious and aware of how I behave and conduct myself and I know my two sons are watching and evaluating how a Godly wife should be. I just want to be the wife and mother God created me to be, but fall so short every day. So grateful for His grace and unending love.

  16. I’m the same year as you Courtney!

    Here’s my thoughts on the subject…

    1.) Reverence: This is such wonderful characteristic, having this God-like quality.
    Showing patience, courteousness, for example while out on the road.

    2.) She is not a slanderer: Not telling nasty malicious lies about someone; but instead speaking the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15

    3.) I really like the way you’ve written that statement, about either drinking reverently, or not at all.

    We’re not avid drinkers in the slightest. On the very rare occasion, we have enjoyed a small glass of wine or alcoholic fruit punch, with thanksgiving to God. That being said, when we married, we chose not to have any alcohol at our wedding as a testimony.

    Everything is all about self control, and one ought to not drink if they have any aversions, or have been delivered from a drink problem which caused them to sin. I have friends like this who chose not to drink following the problems it caused them before they knew Christ.

    To me, the bible speaks about moderation in all we do. Philippians 4:5. On the one hand, 1 Timothy 5:23 says about taking a little wine for one’s stomach, to help a sick person recover. At the same time though, the Bible does speak against the dangers of strong drink. Proverbs 20:1.

    On a related subject, I also have a regime of healthy eating, as it is the best thing for a healthy body.

    4.) She teaches the younger women: Speaking words seasoned with salt, and exhorting one another. Colossians 4:6

  17. At 41 I guess I’m an “older woman” too … yikes. How did I get this old?
    Moving on, thank you for the great encouragement and needed conviction! I struggle the most with No. 1 – reverence. Sometimes I get too excited with what I want to say and don’t wait until someone (most likely my husband) is finished speaking but just jump in when I hear a pause.
    Thank you for the reminder to be quick to listen rather than quick to speak, so I can be a crown to my husband : )

  18. See?! I knew I was older… I will be 40 in October! Regardless, I still look to you as a mentor because you are further along in your journey than I am. I strive to be a better wife and mother and you are helping me to reach my goals, which is probably news to you. Thank you for sharing yourself with us… and if anyone wants to take me under their wing, I am available!

  19. Thank you for this post. It’s very good. I just found your blog a few months ago and it has given me many ideas to teach to the ladies in my church, including this one. Thank you!

  20. I lost my Mom at a young age. I really wanted to have older women interested I taking me under their wing. I longed to have some one to offer sincere advice in a Christian way. To teach me, not scold. To be interested in my life. I had a few of the older women at church fill this spot in a small way. but very few of them, and not in a deep way.

    Now in my 50’s…..I try to reach out at work to young people. Trying to teach them what I learned the hard way. Trying to be friendly and not degrading. but I work with some real characters..they come from so many terrible backgrounds. I do not attend church at the time, trying to find a good church. One with Christians that are true. So my nurturing has to bbe with the young ones at work. It is hard. Most do not want to be told anything. They like to drink, do wild living, and don’t care about a church. Please keep me in your prayers. I want to be a good mentor to them. a few have become close to me and appreciate the nurturing I did for them. Even though Im an OLDER woman, I find Im still wanting a nurturing relationship with OLDER women that nurture and teach us. Pleazse keep me in Prayer

  21. I just found this site today….I am so sure God put me on track to find this. Ive been in a low lately. I don’t know where to start, but I need Christian people in my daily life. Our church fell in two many years back. I was working on sundays so I didn’t have the time o find a new church. I hardly got to go the last year before it divided.

    I tried to find a church but that didn’t happen. One I started attending seemed not right for me. I need a strong church with strong caring Christians. Not people that dress for show and go home and act no better than people that don’t attend Church. People that drink, swear, manipulate and scheme don’t have a place in my life at the time.

    I have family struggles at this time that I need prayer. I am married to a Man that is the best Husband. He treats me very good. He loves me more than he loves him self. He has his own children , I have min, and we have one together.

    My inlaws don’t seem to think much of me. I dontknow why. I took my step children in when their Mom left. I rised them to be good people. to attend church, and gave them rules. I tried to do it lovingly. I raised my children to love god, love others, have compassion, and all that the bible teaches. but some place I don’t know where, but the inlaws don’t care for me. It was hard at 26 to be single, with two children and to take on four more children to take care of. I did the best I knew how.

    We have had a rough time with everything that comes from a blended family, ex spouses. an injury that left us broke from not being able to work, lost a house from it, Viscious family member tried to ruin us due to jealousness, mental issues in the family. I need Pryer so if you ccan find time I am very Grateful
    thank you

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