“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8
When your marriage is a mess…grace is the only way to see it through. Grace is vital to our marriage but how can we live it out in our homes?
Grace is the free and unmerited favor of God. We see this best through the death of Christ given for our salvation so we can receive present and eternal blessings.
Grace is what we receive when we have messed up, fallen down, made wrong choices, and sinned.
And this grace we have received – we need to humbly extend to our husbands when they mess up, fall down, make wrong choices and sin.
But how do we live this out practically in our marriages?
Here’s 5 Ways to Embrace Grace In Your Marriage
1.) Grace sees with fresh eyes and a new perspective.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17
Grace is foreign in many marriages because wives have not experienced the grace of God.
Once we have experienced this lavish grace, we have the strength to turn around and give it to others. The first person we should look square in the eyes of is our husband. He needs grace.
Often times, we give grace to our children, friends, even strangers – but we expect our husband to meet our expectations. The first step in extending grace is recognizing every human needs grace…including your husband.
2.) Grace does not focus on failed expectations and the shortcomings of our husband.
David Platt writes: “[God’s] gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart. New desires. New longings. For the first time, we want God. We see our need for him, and we love him. We seek after him, and we find him, and we discover that he is indeed the great reward for our salvation…. [W]e are saved to know God. So we yearn for him.”
Sometimes the expectations we place on our husband are higher than he can attain.
We have to take into account our husband’s God-given personality, the home he was raised in and his current walk with God. Sometimes the very needs we want our husband to meet – our husband will never be able to meet. Only God can meet them. Releasing our husband from these expectations will bless not only your husband – but you as well.
Grace includes new desires and longings and a turning to God with our disappointments and trusting him to meet our needs. Grace releases our husband from a wife who criticizes his shortcomings or whines about her unmet needs and replaces her disappointment with the joy of the Lord.
3.) Grace Forgives.
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. ~Matthew 18:21-22
I don’t know what your husband has done or said, but if you hold on to it and refuse to forgive, it will poison your thoughts, your heart and your marriage.
Every.single.marriage has hurts and heartache that must be left at the foot of the cross and exchanged for mercy and grace that only God can give. This is supernatural friends! We do not have it in ourselves to forgive – but with God’s help – we can!
Are you holding on to a hurt that your husband cannot heal for you? Take it to the cross today.
Let . It . Go .
And restore your marriage.
4.) Grace puts on compassion and gentleness.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. ~Ephesians 4:32
We need to be a safe refuge for our husband.
Paula Rinhart says “Man lives with a challenging combination of great expectations amid great isolation. Hunter, gatherer, warrior, husband, brother but don’t let anyone see you sweat.”
Your husband needs to know – it’s okay to sweat…or fail, be frustrated, have a hard day, need alone time…or cry.
As wives, it’s easy to forget the heavy burden that our husband’s carry. God made our men with broad shoulders and they carry the weight of the family on those shoulders every day. But don’t be fooled by those broad shoulders – they carry insecurities as well. Compassion will give your husband the space to be open about those burdens and give you the ability to speak into his life and build him up as he bears his burdens.
5.) Grace prays.
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. ~ James 5;16
It’s easy to nag, criticize, or try to control your husband. It’s hard to sit back and pray. But grace prays.
Grace recognizes the power in prayer and trusts the frustrations you have with your husband – into the hands of the loving heavenly Father.
Do you see how vital grace is?
It is vital in the reconciliation we have with our heavenly Father and it is vital in our marriages! Let’s start living it out today!
This week’s challenge:
Before you can extend grace to others, start with the preparation of a pure and tender heart. Pray asking God for wisdom and guidance in this area. Think of how God’s grace has impacted your life, and acknowledge the areas where you have been forgiven.
Consider – what area in your marriage do you need to extend a wee bit more grace? Now begin this week extending the grace you’ve received from God, to your husband. Watch as God transforms your marriage!
Chime In: Which of the 5 Ways do you need to work on in your marriage?
Walk with the King,
**This post is a part of the…
September 8: Embracing Change
September 15: Embracing Your Differences
September 22: Embracing Oneness
September 29: Embracing Your Friendship
Today my friends pictured above are also writing on
Embracing Grace in Your Marriage.
Please visit them!