/ / Loving Our Husbands Through the Hard Times

Loving Our Husbands Through the Hard Times

Marriage isn't always easy, sometimes it's messy and hard. Today we take a look at the importance of loving our husbands through the hard times. #marriage #marriagegoals #womenlivingwell #messybeautifullove

Welcome to the Messy Beautiful Love*Book Club!

Messy Beautiful Love Cover

Today we dive into chapters 1 & 2.  I’m going to share some of my thoughts from the reading, then a short video with the author and then discussion questions. I hope you will join the conversation by leaving a comment.

Chapter 1

Chapter one is a powerful chapter.  Darlene courageously tells her story of infidelity and her husband’s response.  Michael responded with a measure of grace that can only come through God and the power of the gospel.

“Loving his wife as Christ loves the church, Michael reached down to me with a hand of grace when I needed it most.  When every thought told me that I was unworthy of love, something miraculous happened that changed the way that I look at marriage and the way that I look at our Savior.  It was the realization that I am saved by nothing but the power of grace.”
 pg.6

Though we are not always faithful to God, He remains faithful.

“If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.”
2 Timothy 2:13

Darlene’s testimony illustrates the beauty of grace.  Let’s bring this home for a moment.

Is your husband in need of grace?  Is there an area in your marriage that if you applied grace to the situation there would be more peace, more joy, and more love?

Let’s turn the tables. What is your husband putting up with in your life?  We all have blind spots and a temptation to think that our husband got a sweet deal when he landed us.  But let’s not forget that we all get irritable and difficult to be around at times too.

This past Saturday I was in a “mood”.  I was overly tired and had a headache. I tried to take a nap to make my headache and attitude go away – but it didn’t work – I tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep and came back down stairs in the same mood.  All day, stuff annoyed me – the kids were too loud, the house project Keith was working on was messy and the second house project he was working on left me without the use of my kitchen sink.

Grace. I needed grace for my attitude on Saturday because let’s face it – no one is a bowl of cherries to live with every. single. day.  You’ve all heard the saying, sometimes life is a bowl of cherries and sometimes it’s the pits.  The same goes for wives as well. 😉

When we remember the grace we receive at the cross and the grace we need from the loved ones around us – then, and only then, will we have the strength to extend grace to our husband, even in the midst of difficult of situations.

Through thick and thin, through mountain tops and valleys, loving our husbands when they are most unlovable reveals the gospel in our lives.

Chapter 2

In chapter 2, Darlene shares about a trial that came her way in her 7th year of marriage.  Her husband’s pressure to provide for his family began to take a toll on her life as well. He had moved his business into their home and as a result she was disgruntled by the paper scraps and scuffs on her wall.  Looking back she sees his intentions were noble but in the moment she could not see that.

Have you been there?  Stuck from the choices your husband has made?  Choices that make your daily life difficult?

I have.  I have written about my husband’s travel schedule and the trials that has brought my way but I have not written about how he works from home, at times, as well.  First let me say – I’m SOOOO grateful he works so hard for us. He is an awesome provider!  But there have been hard moments.  Trying to be extra quiet in the house with two kids who are being homeschooled (and can be loud) and a puppy (who barks at the most unwanted times) can take a toll on the marriage.  Sometimes he is on an important phone call and I’ll forget we are supposed to be extra quiet – ugh – and I’ll call into his office “lunch time!”  The poor guy comes out of his office deflated…why did I not respect the work happening in his office?  I get so caught up in my schedule and my life that I forget that he has stressful (and noble) things happening in the next room over as well.

“Regardless of where you are in your marriage, whether you are dealing with the messy or enjoying your first steps together as husband and wife, be reminded that both of you are on the same team.  It’s not flesh and blood that you wrestle against as you walk through the fire.

There’s a spiritual battle that will threaten to tear you apart.  Remember that “the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:7) pg. 25

Let’s remember:

Every couple will experience both ups and downs throughout life. Hold on when the going gets tough, because that’s when he’ll need you the most.

Darlene and I were together in Dallas this past August. We made this short video for you.

{if you reading this post in an email -don’t miss out –  click here to come watch the video}

Discussion Questions:

Chapter 1:

1.  Have you ever felt like a failure in your marriage?  Or has your husband failed you?  How does grace and the gospel change things?

2.  Tell us one thing you love about your husband.

Chapter 2:

3. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. What is the difference between love and a loving feeling?

4.  Has your husband made a choice that is hard for you to live with daily?  How does remembering what true love is, help you?

You do not have to answer everyone of the questions – pick 1 or 2 or 3…or 4 and share your answers in the comment section!  We look forward to learning from you.

Walk with the King,

Courtney

*Affiliate Link

If you don’t have the book yet – you can buy it here: Messy Beautiful Love*

Messy Beautiful Love Cover

43 Comments

  1. Chapter 1 & 2 was really great at making me see how easily we can allow the little things in our daily lives affect our spouse, children and the mood in our home. I made tons of side notes & highlighted inspirational tips, then I dug deeper into the bible and prayed really hard that this book will really open my eyes and see my husband “in the light of God’s glorious grace”!!
    One thing I truly love about my husband is that even after 13 years of being in a relationship with him and it’s not always been easy, but he still shows me he cares about “us” and working together as parents to teach our kids morals, values, backing each other up in disciplining them, respect and making sure they are in church! I’m looking forward jumping into all the chapters.

  2. My eyes were really opened when I read the definition of love from my study Bible. It stated that love is an action, not always a feeling. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not boast. Love lets go of wrong doings. These are all actions – not feelings. Feelings come and go, especially when hormones, headaches, or just bad circumstances happen. But love is an on-going display of actions for another person. And when we fall short we are able to receive love through grace from those around us.
    Love this new series and look forward to reading more in the weeks to come!
    Cooking Up Faith
    http://www.cookingupfaith.org

  3. I dont have the book but i get the jist of whats being said so far. So i will answer the questions 🙂
    I have more days then not when I feel like the one whos failing at marriage. Due to my OCD, anxiety and ptsd(my ex husband was abusive) i have a hard time working outside of the home. I feel like im letting him down by not helping provide financially. We also homeschool and even though its in my head as perfect i know its really not and i feel horrible. My husband isnt religious so im not sure what his take would be on this. But in my case I try to tell myself that God will never give me a task i cant handle. That i can do this i just need to believe in myself and what God has mapped out for me.
    One thing I love about my husband…oh thats hard. Lol. His caring nature for sure. I met him around the time i escaped my ex husband and hes always been there for me and my kids. He joined the Army and even as friends and deployed he would email me and check up on us. Him being a soldier is for sure another thing i love….it takes a lot of guts to join…to be part of that 1% that will take a bullet for your freedom and protection. 🙂
    I would answer #3 but my 3 year old daughter is sleeping my legs so i cant grab my bible. 🙂
    A choice hes made thats hard to live with……the military. He served 4 years active duty, got out for a while, went national guard and now wants to go active again…back to infantry. National guard is easier on us but he can still deploy and it worries me greatly with all the chaos lately. But…its part of him..its who is and i fell in love with all of that so i need to do as the popular army wives saying is and “embrace the suck” 🙂

  4. I have to say that i have failed my DH numerous of times. But like Darlene’s DH, mine extended Grace & Love and continued to stick by my side.
    One thing i love about my DH is that after 4 years of marriage, he can still make me smile no matter what state of emotion I am in.

  5. I stumbled across this book study a little accidentally. I shared with a few friends and am so thankful to be able to do this study, both for my benefit and with friends to discuss. I’m also so very thankful for the comments in response to this first post.

    Like Cooking Up Faith said, love is an action. I never really thought about that but it is so true.

    Right now, my husband and I are in a pretty good spot but as in all things in life that can be very cyclical and I chose to do this study for when the valleys are here.

    One reason I love my husband is because he works so hard for us. His job is very laborious and long hours (12 hour days, five to six days a week) yet he still comes home, gets a meal on the table and spends time with me and our daughter. I know work stresses him out so I try to extend grace to him frequently, to let him know that I know work has him down and to try to lift him up again.

    One thing that has been a struggle (not quite a valley but certainly the down part of a hill) is that he hadn’t been coming to church. I’ve been praying daily for him to come “home” again but I know that when he’s working so much that he sometimes just wants to sleep in and relax. It’s a balance for sure…

    Thanks ladies for sharing yourselves and your stories. I’m really looking forward to this study!

  6. I am enjoying the study as it kickoffs today. I haven’t purchased the book too, but the questions and comments have truly inspired me. I can identify and relate to most of what the ladies have shared and I just wanted to add that question 3 truly resonates with me. I wish everyone a blessed journey through this study.

  7. Wow, this is really awesome. It took me 20 years to learn to love and forgive. I took for granted everything my husband did for me and at times when the answer was no, I got really upset and my “flesh” rose up.

    Thank God for His grace and love and after 2o years I realized that everything must be done in love for God and your spouse. Yes, everyday is definitely not a bowl of cherries but we learn how to handle everyday by God’s grace.

    Thank you Courtney and Darlene for sharing with us.

    I pray God’s blessings upon you as you continue to be a blessing to us woman and our families.

    Love you guys, lots

  8. Thanks for this much needed study, Courtney and Darlene! It is incredibly timely for me. I’ll answer the question of what I love most about my husband: his intense love and commitment to our family :). He sounds a lot like Darlene’s husband. He forgives me daily for my mistakes, even the big ones. Looking forward to this wonderful study!

  9. We have only completed the first two chapter and I already love what Darlene has shared with us and also for helping to open my eyes more for my ow marriage. Thank you everyone for sharing your comments and reminding me of more things to think about like love.

    I’m getting ready to complete our 19th year of marriage and the first two chapter got me thinking. We have definately had our ups and downs and only by God’s grace and love has it been more ups than downs as if left up to me I would have ruined things a long time ago. My husband show me love every day I the little things he does for me like giving me kisses, saying he loves me, making me laugh, giving hugs without asking, asking me about my day and just listening to me. Every week on the day we got married my husband tells me “Happy Anniversary” and now after all these years we kind of make a game of it to see who can say it first to each other. The winner receives and extra kiss. After reading these chapters it dawned on me that I would not be half the person I am today without my husband, because of his I am a better person all the way around. All of this can only come from God.

    Looking forward to seejng what the next chapters bring out for our walks in marriage and with the Lord. Have a Blessed day.

  10. I have often felt like a failure in my marriage. My husband works from home often and I have had to remember to keep the kids quiet, still keep house and make dinner…. etc… but the feeling of failure comes when I postpone the laundry (his office is next to the laundry room) then he can’t find the shirt or pants he wanted to wear. If I take the kids to the park then dinner is started late.
    So in doing things to help out the work day, other things get put on hold making for a lot of catch up the next day.

  11. I stumbled across this book by what many would say is an accident but God doesn’t make accidents…

    I was married 19 years my first marriage, after 16 years of marriage he told me he was having an affair… I offered grace and forgiveness but he didn’t want to change…

    I met my new husband 5 years ago and we have been married 4 years now, it is very messy at times, especially since it isn’t our first marriage…. but it is beautiful as Darlene says, marriage is a beautiful thing but because of our sin nature and past it is messy.

    As for the questions, I feel my husband fails me every time he doesn’t support me in parenting(yeah we are raising his 10 year old son),or each time I feel he pushes me away….
    I feel I fail him every time I don’t submit or respect him. I feel like a failure when I want to give up quicker than I ever did before but I’m learning this is more out of fear than anything.

    I love so much about my husband, one of the things is the way he holds me and makes me feel secure. I also love how he smiles.. oh so many things….

    As love isn’t based on an emotion as feelings change moment by moment but love true love is action, lived out day by day even when we don’t feel loveable…. emotions are fleeting and if what we have is based on emotions and externals it won’t last. We must have a love we are willing to fight for, it takes three to make a marriage work. It requires rolling up your sleeves and getting messy at times.

    I must confess I was at an all-time low last night and I informed my husband I’m struggling, ladies I am human and struggling is something we all go through but what I learned temptation isn’t sin it’s how we react that causes the sin. I know Satan wants to come right in and destroy marriages, families and individuals… there may be a time I’m low and struggling or there may be a time my husband is, but God please don’t ever let us struggle at the same time one of us needs to be strong.
    We do have something worth fighting for, I just don’t have the strength to do it alone… God says I’m with you my daughter and you’re never alone.

    Don’t give up the fight.. one day may be messy and the next may be beautiful.

    I had an affair in my previous marriage because I wasn’t emotionally connected but because I love my second husband so much I didn’t think I’d be tempted this marriage… I was wrong, I am tempted and I’m prone to fail if I don’t stay connected. So husbands don’t push your wives away and wives don’t push your husbands away… if you’re like me you pull away enough on your own.

    Looking forward to reading this book again.

  12. Thank you so much for doing this… I have never done a book club and I believe that this was needed in my life right now. I am enjoying reading, taking notes and asking God to help me be my husbands biggest cheerleader… I stink at saying the right thing when difficulties come up.

  13. 1. I haven’t felt like a full out failure in our marriage, but I have this consistent feeling of falling short, not being enough and not being able to do what I need to. My husband enjoys our home being in order. I am constantly trying new chore lists/ideas but I feel like I spend more time planning for cleaning/meal planning than actually doing it. When I was working I was too tired to do that and now that I have an infant it feels like there is always something else to do! It isn’t like he won’t help…sometimes I am just too prideful to let him. I think the idea of grace and the gospel is helping my heart approach things differently and I have been a lot more open to his help as well as being easier on myself. I am realizing that it is better to get something done than to not do anything because I can’t do everything.
    2. I love my husband because he is my best friend. I got together with someone the other day and she was so surprised that I haven’t felt strain in our marriage since having the baby. I think it’s because we are best friends…now we are best friends with a baby. 🙂 Maybe that sounds over simplistic, but we have made a conscious effort to be open with each other and keep our relationship balanced…now there is another HUGE component to our marriage and we are choosing to see that as a way to grow our marriage and not get in the way of it.

    I think my favorite passage from the chapters was in chapter 2. “The best things in life get messy before they get good. God has never promised us days without pain because He knows that trials are the very things that strengthen us and that His grace is made perfect when we are weak. A wise woman knows that joy and peace comes from the Lord, while a foolish one seeks happiness anywhere she can find it.”

    I am really excited to join in this book club and to read the book with all of you! Looking forward to seeing what God will do!

  14. Thank you so much for your book, this bookclub & the opportunity to focus on my marriage. I look forward to reading your daily posts, the questions & comments, and reflecting on my personal growth in my marriage. This will be my very 1st book club and I couldn’t be more excited to see how God is going to use it in my life and marriage. Having a Christ-centered marriage is a huge priority for me. I am eager to read and learn more through your awesome encouragement, experience, inspiration, & knowledge. Thank you for sharing your personal story, testimonies, and journey. Thank you for caring & taking us women/wives under your wings throughout our personal journeys.

    1. #2: One thing I love about my husband is how he really listens to me when we sit down to talk about whatever the topic may be. I need to work on really listening to him, like he does me, without butting in. ❤️

  15. My study bible states that true Christian love is action in response to the conviction of one’s heart and mind.
    My husband and I have only been married for a little over a year and we also have been blessed with a daughter who is now two months old. I hope that by doing this book study, that I will be able to strengthen my marriage and be able to use what I learn here from the reading and other’s comments when/if hardships fall upon us.

  16. I’m in the process of finding the book. I didn’t find this notice of the Study until this weekend. My husband is looking for the book in the inexpensive places I don’t get out much. The reminder that real love is not a feeling but daily actions is so important. I’ve been married for 43 years on Dec 2nd and the way he loves me is what got me in the beginning and continues to win me over. My husband also forgives me daily for my shortcomings and mistakes. I’m excited to find a group like this that offer ways to grow as Godly women becoming the Godly wives God would have us be. Thank you much Darlene and Courtney. <3

  17. Just last night my husband and I took a walk down memory lane and he commented how he had found the first year of our marriage a bit difficult (we have been married for almost 12 years)…which he has said before…but tonight he added a comment that I’ve never heard him say before. (He comes from a family with a bad history of marriage failures.) So he comments, “and you were quite feisty”..his nice way of saying grumpy, moody, hard to be around sometimes…WHAPP!!!! He didn’t say it to hurt me or point fingers, but it was such a huge realization howour moods and actions influence our husband and our relationship (how close we become in our relationship).
    I have failed countless times…I’m a talker and he is not! But I’m glad he said that because his words carry great weight. I want to become a more godly wife and I’m excited to read this book and do the study; to hear others insight.
    I love so many things about my hubby, I don’t know how I would pick just one thing…his non-judgmental/forgiving way, being slow to anger, his humour, the list goes on.

  18. I don’t have the book yet, though I am eagerly following along. What I love about my husband is that after he was called by God 8 or so months ago, he has put himself seriously into purging unhealthy behaviors (that had just about destroyed our marriage) far from him and Loves the Lord so much. He has become the spiritual leader I adore and we talk about God and his ways and what we have been reading in the bible. I love his excitement and fervor for God and his way’s ! We are now striving together and I am praying for us to be able to love one-another the way the Lord would have us.

  19. I am probably the only one in this forum who isn’t married. I am getting married in may but i thought this book would be an intresting read to get me ready for marriage. The points in the first two chapters are quit interesting. The one thing i love about my soon to be husband is pretty hard because I love everthing about him. But if I had to pick just one, i would pick the way he treats me, he treats me like a princess and that he always calls me beautiful and love and I guess thats more then one thing but its hard to pick just one. I cant wait to marry my best friend and soul mate and the man of my dreams.

  20. As someone who is coming off of a ten month affair myself , I am trying to regain trust and reestablish that connection with my husband. I know it’s there, it’s just that “life” gets in the way and we HAVE to put God in our number 1 and our spouses in our number 2 spot. I didn’t realize this until after all of my wrong choices. I’m being given another chance and I know this will be my testimony as well. I look forward to reading along with all of you!

  21. I love what this godly testimony from the book shows us, in essence an example of Christ’s unmerited gift of grace to the ones He loves. When we God’s children get ourselves dirty and have wandered off track and have found ourselves to be right in the pigpen. Then realizing we don’t want to stay there and asking for God’s complete forgiveness and mercy to be bestowed upon us. We quit (repent) for good our mistakes we once made whatever sins they are, nothing but the blood of Christ can cleanse us from them, and make us pure.

    Darlene’s husband, the grace he showed to his wife and his attitude of humility, brought my husband to tears. What a perfect picture of Gods grace and mercy to us all – Christ’s love for His church!

  22. Marriage is full of failing each other, mostly in smaller ways but sometimes you have to face big mistakes too. Grace is the only way for a marriage to recover. Grace is never deserved, which is always why it is incredible. When my husband came forward with decisions and actions that were not healthy for our marriage, it was through the recovery of that that I began to truly understand God’s grace for me. He loved us all so much that He sent His Son to die for us. We are to extend grace to others as well. It’s not painless, the grace that gets extended. It wasn’t for God and it won’t be for us. But it’s worth it! God shows us grace every day, because He loves us. He wants our marriage to be a reflection of Him, which means we should do the same for our spouse. True love extends and accepts grace.

  23. I love Darlene’s book. I connected to her so much through the book. I have been in her shoes. One of the things that I love about my husband is that he still loves me regardless of my flaws and sins. We have been together for just nearly 13.5 years and married for nearly 8.5 years. My husband had given me another chance last spring (April 2013) after finding out my affair. We’ve been able to reconnect and reestablish our relationship, friendship and marriage. We are now more deeply connected and more in love than we were in the beginning.

  24. Loving my husband… reading and really understanding Biblical love as it is defined in I Corinthians has freed me to love my husband in a whole new way. Realizing that real love isn’t the fairy tale stomach flutters of intense emotion – oh, those feel great! – but rather it is a choice, it is an action, a demonstration; means that my emotions are not in control – I am in control. This, to me, is exciting! Because on those days or in those moments when I do not feel love, when I feel disappointment or frustration or hurt, I can still CHOOSE love. Grace fills the gap left by my less than loved feelings, and allows me to still love and be loving to my husband.

    But I Corinthians is also a test of my love. Was I patient and kind? Am I insisting on getting my way? Am I whiney and complaining if I don’t get my way? Are my motives pure? Do I accuse instead of trust? Do I carry a defeated attitude? Am I wanting to run away when things gets difficult? Recently, after an argument, my husband and I read through this scripture passage looking at each characteristic of love and asking each other if this is what we had displayed. Sadly, we had not; we had let our emotions take control and lead us into a whirlwind of hurtful words. We found ourselves in a pattern of saying “I love you” in the calm moments but failing to choose to display that love to each other in the emotional moments. Recognizing this allows us to break the pattern and love each other in a wonderful new way.

  25. Like Darlene, my marriage has been affected by infidelity. In my case, my husband was the one who had the affair…as we were dealing with that, I got cancer. Talk about a test of faith! I relied on my faith in the Lord to get me through both trials basically at the same time. Here I am, over two years later, still standing, cancer-free. Our Marriage is still a work-in-progress, as it should be, but we have made a commitment to make it work, one way or another.

  26. I would like to answer question 4. My husband and I left the JW organisation 2 years ago and are now following Christ and the Bible the way we should have. The hard decision i have to live with is that my husband has asked that i dont speak about my new found beliefs exactly to family or his parents as, if they tell the elders what we believe now we will be disfellowshipped and our families will have to shun us. He does not want this, i dont either but i except it as being a probability because i yearn so bad to tell them the truth about Jesus and other beliefs that one day I will tell them and if they choose to shun me then so be it.
    I obey this request, for now, as he is my head and God asks that i listen to him. Im just waiting on God to give me the go ahead and be courageous enough to confess my new beliefs to my family and accept the consequences from them. I hope someone understands what ive said here. 🙂 x

  27. I failed my husband with lies and secrets about money, jeopardizing our financial future. My husband failed me when he let a friendship grow into an affair. Thankfully, God was working in us and we worked through these hard times and forgiveness, and ended up a stronger couple. Even though it’s been years of healing for both of us, I still get a twinge of “feeling sorry for myself” every now and then, and cave in to the urge to bring up how badly he hurt me. I wish I had his grace… for he has never mentioned my indiscretions.

    I love his grace.

  28. I am fighting for my marriage. My husband is involved in an adulterous relationship which he cant seem to let go of. So I am praying for direction. He has moved out twice and is back . I ask for your prayers because I really want God’s will for my life

    1. Dee
      I too went thur a very difficult affair by my husband, he even asked for a divorce but I simply refused. He hurt me deeply but I knew that he was hurting too, hence the affair. A good friend of his told me that I needed to be the Jesus that he needed to see and to fight for my marriage. I prayed without stopping. For him, us, our family, for him to find his way back to God, etc. I even prayed for satan to leave his body, mind and soul alone. It was a hard battle but I loved my husband until he excepted it and our marriage is on the mend. Things are not perfect but now we are both fighting for a better marriage. You can do this!! Stay in the word and never stop praying. Marriage is worth fighting for! Send love and prayers.

  29. I am so glad that the Lord set my path toward this book! Thank you Courtney and Darlene!! the Lord makes no mistakes and I needed to read (and learn) from a book like this. I have been married for 20 yrs. been a believer since I was a child. I would have never imagined I would ever have an affair but I did. Several times. It has almost destroyed my marriage. And it has almost destroyed me. It really is such a difficult act to live with. Only because of Gods grace can I live everyday. I know God has forgiven me, my husband has but me forgiving myself really is another story. im having such a hard time with leaving this behind and living a victorious life through Christ! My prayer is this book will help me with that. What I love the most about my husband is his true biblical love ( he truly lives out 1 Cor 13) for me and his devotion for me and our marriage.

  30. I have been failed and disappointed by my husband. And I believe I have. I am currently learning to just forgiving him and extending Grace to him. Its hard sometimes when I remember what he has done. But hey, God has forgiven me. Why shouldn’t I?
    One of the things that has been hard to deal with is his job. I just feel like his job is everything and the rest including I, come second. I understand that we need him and the job, but sometimes its hard to see him be away for hours even not being able to see the kids for days. On the other hand I thank God for giving me a husband who works tirelessly to see that we are well provided for.
    I love the group

    1. You know I’m in the same boat. He wants me to pin him for his police academy graduation. I’m not exactly honored to do it. I wanted to mopped and be bad because he’s moved us several times and cost us severely financially. I read this and it hit me really hard how to love him most when he needs it most and when he’s unlovable. Thanks for sharing.

  31. I really appreciated Darlene’s brutal honesty in sharing her infidelity. I was actually surprised to find out it was her who had the affair and not her husband. I loved her comparison of her husband extending grace to her right when she needed it the same way Christ extends his grace to us when we are in the pits of despair. It’s a reminder that we are all sinners, even if we dont choose the same sins, and we all need grace that only our Heavenly Father can give. This book study came in my life at the exact time I need it to and am so grateful for this group! Thanks Courtney!!

  32. WOW THE FIRST CHAPTER THREW ME FOR A TWIST BUT GOT ME SO INTERESTED AS I ALWAYS FELT THAT THESE LADYS WHERE THE PERFECT COOKIE CUTTING CURTAIN SEWING LUNCH PACKING TYPE OF WOMAN I COULD NEVER MESSURE UP TO AND WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND ME AND MY LIFE BUT NOW THAT YOUVE OPEN YOUR TRUE HEART I FEEL ALOT MORE COMFORTABLE HEARING THAT EVERYONE HAS THOSE UPS AND DOWNS AND THE PERFECT LOOKING LIFE FROM THE OUTSIDE IS JUST ACTUALLY JUST THE LOOK OF GRACE PERFECT, WONDERFUL GRACE BUT TO THE QUESTIONS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY HUSBAND IS HE ALWAYS MAKE MY KIDS LAUGH I LOVE TO HEAR THERE LITTLE GIGGLES BECAUSE DAD IS SO FUNNY MY HUSBAND HAS MADE SOME CHOICES THAT HAS EFFECTED ARE LIFE IN MANY WAYS AND I DID NOT EXTEND GRACE TO HIM I LET THE FLESH TAKE OVER AND FIGHT WITH HI ARGUE AND SO FORTH BUT READING THIS BOOK HAS OPENED MY EYES TO REMEMBER OF THE GRACE THE LORD HAS GIVEN TO ME AND THE GRACE I SHOULD GIVE TO OTHERS ESPECIALLY MY HUSBAND THIS IS A GREAT BOOK I LOVE IT SO FAR!!!

  33. My ex husband had an affair for 1 1/2 years. He refused to admit to the relationship, and our relationship fell apart. We tried counseling, but the marriage ended after 20 years. We have both moved on. I have since remarried and am so happy now. I didn’t realize that your husband could be your best friend. I didn’t realize that if you worked through things together, it can be so good. So while I am divorced and remarried, I still believe that God forgave me for the divorce. He has helped me to be strong again and find a loving, caring, kind man who loves me for who I am. God has blessed my life with forgiveness towards my ex and we have a relationship that is supportive on both our parts for our children. I do believe that God created marriage to be a life commitment. I don’t know why what happened to me did, but God has forgiven me and helped me through that awful time.

    My second husband and I are in a very committed relationship. I love how he cherishes me and believes in me. He is so caring to all he meets. He makes me smile. I have decided to love him, even on those days when things aren’t easy. We are working at this together.

    I am glad I found this book study group. Learning and growing our relationships through Christ is the only way.

  34. Yeah, I feel like a failure a lot. Me n my husband r so different that sometimes I feel like we r on two different planets n when he annoys me I feel bad because I want to make him feel like I think he’s funny but I just don’t get or think his jokes r funny a lot of the time. Good thing our son laughs with him sometimes. My husband is very extroverted while I’m not, n quite the opposite. I love him but at this time in our lives he has a job that I feel is taking a toll on us because he is so stressed about it most of the time, even on his days off. He has really bad anxiety n so he never wants to do anything but watch tv, I’m trying to keep up with the Bible study we do together but he lacks motivation n I feel bad because I know he has a hard job n I want him to relax. I want to do more and I don’t know why but I worry my husband might cheat on me. I have thought of why I feel this way and I have never been jealous of anyone I dated before and me and my husband are not officially married but we see ourselves as such. I guess I feel like I’m not good enough, were so different and when we dated he treated me differently (worse) and was more careless/reckless and a bit of a flirt so it has been so hard for me to see him as really ch aged or in love with me because he loved himself more than anyone and he used to talk about his exs (not in a good way). But when he did that I felt lessened n from the way it sounded they were very different from me, so that’s hard to grasp that he chose me, so he has changed since we had our child but I feel bad because he changed for our son n not for me so I feel bad about that too. We have a young child and I just want him to grow up in a Godly home that puts God first and I am to blame as well so there’s a lot too work on.

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