5 {Radical} Qualities Young Women Should Pursue

5 Radical qualities young women should pursue

Older women are not off the hook with this post…because all of the qualities listed for young women to learn –older women should be role-modeling for us.  Now remember, grace.  We are all a work in progress and none of us will have these mastered perfectly…ever.   That is why we need the power of Jesus in our lives.  He helps us become the {radical} woman he calls us to be.

Titus 2:3-5 says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

This list from Titus 2 is truly {Radical}.

Let’s take a look at the 5 {Radical} qualities young women should pursue according to Titus 2:5.

1.) Self-Control  

A {radical} young woman pursues self-control.  She is self-controlled with her spending habits, her words, her temper, her appetites, her priorities, and her use of time.  As she pursues intimacy with God, her soul is satisfied and she finds contentment and strength through his Spirit.  A woman who has self-control is a woman who has a strong prayer life.  I find myself regularly calling out to God in moments of weakness asking God to please give me strength to have self-control.  If you are in this place today – go to God’s throne and ask him for self-control.  He wants to help you.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. ~ I Timothy 6:6

2.) Purity

The greek word for purity here is ‘hagnos’ and is referring to moral and sexual purity.  A {radical} young woman is faithful to her husband. She is not a flirt, she dresses modestly, she is trustworthy and has a pure heart.  In a world where purity is mocked and immorality is glorified, she stands out as one who is not polluted.  Singers and actors applauded with Oscars, Emmys and other awards, flaunt their sexuality and the world idolizes it.

But God says ” Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4

3.) Working at Home

First I want to focus on the word – “working“.  A Godly woman is not lazy – she is to be a hard worker.

Now the “at home” part. Oh dear, must we get so controversial?  Scripture says it – so I can’t skip over this.  When Paul wrote Titus 2 – he did not feel the need to qualify it.  In his culture, women would have been expected to sew the family’s clothing, plant a garden,  grind her own wheat, cook over fire, wash the clothes down by a river, care for the children, care for the poor and open her home to guests.  Her work in the home was a necessity to survival.

But many of these women helped the family out financially by selling some of the things they had sown (like the Proverbs 31 woman or Lydia the seller of purple), or selling baked goods or teaching children.  This passage does not forbid women to earn an income.   But a {radical} young woman should be especially skilled in her homemaking abilities.

{Radical} women – we should shine like lights in a dark world. We should love maintaining a warm cozy home for our family and those passing through.  Our home should stand out as the most inviting place in the neighborhood – and  I’m not talking about having the best decorations. Let’s not treat housework as a mindless, brain numbing, waste of time —as the world would convince us to believe.  Clearly – God values women “working at home” so much that he put it in scripture.  We should value what God values.

 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. ~ Proverbs 31:27

(for more encouragement on diligence in the home, subscribe to Women Living Well and receive my free Proverbs 31 ebook and video series.)

4.) Kind

A kind woman is a {radical} woman who is careful with her words, generous, thoughtful and compassionate.  She is cheerfully helpful and gracious when wronged.  Her husband and children see her as a kind woman.  Would your family describe you this way?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22, 23

5.) Submissive to their own husbands

First, I love that this passage specifies — submission “to our own” husband.  Women are not inferior to men and we are not to submit to ALL men.   There’s just one specific relationship where God has called us to submit and it is to our husband.  This is where feminists unite and have a bra burning.  But a {radical] young woman – doesn’t participate in those.  She stands out in this modern world as a woman who allows her husband to take the lead.  Like a couple doing a ballroom dance, the husband leads as she follows and together their life is beautiful. Is learning the dance difficult and frustrating at times?   You bet. That’s why we need older women – role modeling and teaching younger women how to dance well.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. ~ Colossians 3:18

In conclusion, every woman should strive to be a Titus 2 Woman.  Some of us need to work on becoming the Titus 2 older woman.  Others of us need to work on becoming the Titus 2 younger woman.  Most churches fail to encourage and create an environment where this sort of mentorship takes place.  We have organized retreats and events – but real life connections where older women connect and teach and train younger women – specifically how to love their husbands and children and how to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their husbands…are woefully lacking.

{Radical} Women – I plead with you – reach out to each other.  Connect with each other. Give each other grace and love and kindness and together let’s pursue becoming Titus 2 {radical} women – to the glory of God!

Chime In: Young Women – what are you pursuing?  Are you pursuing the above 5 qualities that God has called us to pursue?  Which do you find the hardest?

Older Women, who are you teaching and training to become like the above?

Walk with the King,

Courtney

***This post is a part of the Summer {Radical} Women Living Well Series.  Here are the other posts in this series.

{Radical} Women –Living Well

4 Qualities of a {Radical} Older Woman

4 {Radical} Ways to Love Your Husband and Children

The Effects of Feminism on Women In the Church

Comments

  1. Ashley says

    I need to get your book! Do you have these qualities mentioned in the book? I feel like I need in depth study on these qualities. :)

    • Emma says

      All of these qualities are impossible to attain to by operating in our own sinful nature (the ‘flesh’). And we are all born with this sinful condition in our nature; It’s our normal ‘default’ possition.
      We really need to be allowing God’s Holy Spirit to be working thru the depths of our heart.
      Asking him to rid us of any self righteousness. ( God can use our ‘brokenness’ to make us into something ‘new’).
      If we have surrendered completely ourselves unto God; He gives us a brand new heart and desires to pursue after these ‘holy’ things.

      I hope this helps. :-)

      • says

        Emma,
        The Bible says sin is a choice. “Go and sin no more” indicates that all sin is a choice, not a nature. The appetites and tendencies of body and mind, when strongly excited, become the occasions of sin. So it was with Adam. He had an appetite for food and a desire for knowledge. These were not sinful but were as God made them. These tendencies were innocent in themselves, but he yielded to them in a sinful manner, and that was his sin.

        The following verses teach that sin is a choice and not a nature.
        Ezekiel 18:20
        2 Corinthians 5:10
        Romans 14:10–12
        Revelation 20:12
        Deuteronomy 24:16
        Jeremiah 31:30

        • Emma says

          To me Grace the scriptures make it very clear that we are sinners by birth, by nature, by choice.
          So yes, both are true (sin nature and choice)

          When we are born again God gives us a new spirit nature, but at the same time the flesh nature still remains while here on this earth.

          Gal 5:16. without God’s Holy Spirit working in our lives we are powerless to keep from sin- even if we ‘choose’ in our minds not to sin.

          This is why as christians it is important to keep ourselves accountable before God, our husbands, and family. This safeguards us from any unforeseen temptations. 2 Peter 1:10

          Other related scriptures are:

          2 Cor 5:17
          Mark 14:38
          Rom 8:7
          Rom 7:19

    • says

      Hi Ashley – The book Women Living Well is all about finding joy in God, your man, your kids and your home. If this post encouraged you and you are looking for more – then yes – I think the book could be an inspiration as well.

      God bless you,
      Courtney :)

  2. Melissa says

    I like your example of a ball room dance where the men leads the woman. This is an excellent example. Both people are dancing, and equally important in the performance, but one must lead.

    • says

      Actually, in ballroom dancing, it is the man’s job to show off, support and protect the woman . . . so it is the PERFECT example of how we should work in the marriage relationship.

  3. Julia says

    Although I am not married I am in a 4 year relationship. Ultimately as an unmarried woman I try to consider myself married to God. I submit to God’s; I do not close the doors on the opportunities that God gives me. I try to surrender to God’s will in my life. I believe that by doing this I am creating a strong foundation for my future marriage because I practice the qualities of a radical woman and I put my main focus in becoming the woman God calls me to be.

  4. Christina says

    Firstly, Ashley yes you should buy Courtney’s book I’m reading it at the moment – it’s amazing! :)

    Courtney, I absolutely love this post and it really speaks to me. I try so hard to live with these qualities every day and you really inspire me to do this and do it well!!

    I’m going to print this one and keep it my journal to come back to.

    Xx

  5. Joy says

    I find it hardest to be kind when I’ve been wronged or have self-control in certain areas. Your e-book last winter helped me to see “working at home” as a service to my family (that even benefits myself) instead of the drudgery. I am still lighting my candle! : )

  6. JoLynnH says

    I LOVE this series! Thank you for taking us back to the basics. I am what would be considered a “younger” woman (thank goodness I am considered as such in some places – hahaha!). In my opinion, the society/culture I grew up in focuses on training young girls/women to become the exact opposite of what was discussed in your post today. Women in our day are so afraid of being perceived as weak or simple in their lives. Maybe that’s the problem; we are STILL worrying about what others think instead of what God thinks. So much so that we have turned to false teachings without even realizing it because it is so ingrained in our society — we recognize it as something good when in fact it is not good but detrimental to our soul’s well being.

    I struggle most with self- control and being submissive to my husband and allowing him to lead. I married at the age of 30 and lived on my own for 11 years before marriage. I had become too used to doing and seeing everything “my” way that it’s now extremely hard (even after 7 yrs of marriage) to submit to my husband in the daily life decisions. I am seeing the damage this causes. We have a strong love but I see that I am wounding my husband without meaning to because of my poor training and habits of thinking my way is best.

    As a younger woman, who very much needs to focus on this Titus 2 passage, I would welcome any “older” women who are reading here and live in the Philly Suburbs (or not) to respond to my comment if they would be interested in connecting with a “younger” woman as a mentor. I feel this is something I and my family would greatly benefit from and I will be praying on it too.

    Thanks, again, Courtney for this great series. It’s so refreshing and needed!

    • Christina says

      I absolutely agree with you that women are now worried to be perceived as simple and weak – so instead, many turn to acting like men or playing out those stereotypes that are detrimental to our relationships (like we see all the time on TV and movies as Courtney says in her book).

      Worrying about what other people think instead of caring about what God thinks is not fulfilling! And I have lived this to know that truth.

      Xx

    • Jamileh says

      JoLynn,
      I don’t live anywhere near Philly however I am interested in connecting with you and mentoring you any way I can. I live in North Pole, AK.
      Blessings
      Jamileh

  7. says

    I am so thankful for the Tirus 2 scripture and Proverbs 31. We live in a world that sets an example against God’s will of how a woman should be, and then we have to fight our own sinful nature as well. We need a guide to keep us on the right path so we can live the abundant life God wants us to live. Praise Hod for His Word and for the gift of prayer! Thank you for teaching women God’s blessed will for women!
    Cooking Up Faith
    http://www.cookingupfaith.org

  8. says

    HI Courtney,
    I dont see a way to ‘reblog’ this with a linkback type thing to you but I sooo want to share it on my site! Is it okay to post it and link it back to you with credit as the original content??? Sharing on all the sites too! great read as usual!

    Be Blessed and Be Inspired!
    Tara

  9. Adrienne Eller says

    I am working on a concept designed to promote this very thing!! I want to equip and empower older women in churches to reach out to and mentor young women in churches-as Naomi did for Ruth and according to this scripture. The concept of mentoring is repeated throughout Scripture and is so important -especially in a generation where many (if not MOST) parents are not Spirit-led. I would like to do leadership/mentoring summits for older people in churches and I am working on developing curriculum that could be implemented in student groups (Sunday school or small group setting). My heart aches for young women in our culture who are floundering in their lives looking for love and purpose and something to believe in!!

  10. says

    Thank you for this beautiful post! This is a much needed message in today’s world. I love that the Bible teaches us all that we need to know to live lives that honor and glorify God. These are qualities young women should pursue, and older women should cling to. Thank you for the gentle reminder.

  11. Jill says

    I’m probably in the middle younger vs older woman at nearly 38 (not the 18 year old college gal, but not the grandmother!) I also had children later in life so I have little ones still where a lot of gals my age have high schoolers. As far as modeling things to the younger gals I’m a stay at home mom, which in this day and age, is a witnessing opportunity in itself, since not a lot of people make that choice. My husband and I chose to live a pretty simple life so that I’m able to stay home with our kids. We have a great church family many of the ladies there are great examples of Titus 2 ladies-love to glean any wisdom from them I can!

  12. Dani says

    Wow, this is an awesome post, we just finished up the 2nd quarter at our church “The Woman That Pleases God” and our minister summed it up by speaking on women keeping silent in the church and not usurping authority over man. We need to all stay in our roles as wives.

  13. says

    The only thing I might have issue with is the “household jobs” part. My husband LOVES to clean and is amazing at it. It’s almost therapy for him. I can clean, but it is not my strong suit. However, I LOVE DIY projects and fixing things – always have. So he does most of the cleaning and laundry and I do the cooking, fixing and projects.

    We have had to work through the expectations of others and the dictates of the world around us to get to this place. If one of us can’t do something (because of another commitment or something else) then each of us can pick up the job . . . just not as well as the other.

    It’s just like the example you gave with ballroom dancing. Each of us has a part, and our dance will be unique to us because we are unique. We just have to communicate, share, and accept our uniquenesses to get to that place of dance.

    Thank you for sharing and be blessed,

    Kathryn

    • Billie says

      I love this post. I will share it with my daughters. I wish someone had come alongside me when I was young and helped to direct my path this way. Then I wouldn’t be struggling against the mindset that in order to be “someone” I need to do something with meaning to the world.

      So, with that in mind. I struggle with the “household jobs” as well. I feel very overwhelmed as my husband likes everything neat and tidy but hardly ever helps with any of it. I am more relaxed with my expectations on the “cleanliness” of the house – I don’t let it get filthy, but since we live and work and learn here 24 hours a day, I don’t see how to keep it spotless. Actually, I find the idea impossible to keep it looking like we don’t live here when we do. I am also one who likes the DIY projects. Quite frankly, if I want anything done, I almost always have to do it. I don’t mind doing it, because I like it, but I wish sometimes my husband would help to pick up the slack in the household chores when I am the one busy doing wiring or dry walling or whatever needs done at the time, especially since he has a different satisfactory level than I do. There is not enough of me or enough time in the day to “do it all.” He has his office at home and finds lots of time to read the news on the internet, go for walks, go for lunch, etc – I find it frustrating that he doesn’t help more. He always says that because I am the one at home and have daughters, it is our job. When it is time for the lawn to be mowed – basically the only thing he does on a regular basis- he expects me to help with the push mowing while he does the rider. ( I will give him the credit that we have a hillside yard and I am not comfortable on the rider as I always feel like it will tip.) He always says it is so he doesn’t have to spend so much time on tending to the yard. I am trying to be a submissive wive, and I believe I have the gift of service, but sometimes I feel like I am being used and I get tired. To you “older” women out there – where is the line between submitting and trying to please our husbands and being used and treated like a slave or at least taken advantage of?

      Thanks for commenting:)

  14. Bethany says

    Love this series! It is actually what I have been struggling with… finding what I am supposed to be doing as a young mom. I was really convicted by #3 and the statement that a radical young woman is “especially skilled in her homemaking abilities”. I have only been able to be home with my kids since a month ago. Before that I was working full time until we were debt free. It has always been my dream to be a homemaker, but now that I am, I find that I don’t know how to do it. I am NOT skilled at keeping my home. And I don’t know how to change that. No matter how I try, it seems I always fail in this area. I guess this is something that needs to be a matter of daily prayer for me.

  15. RebeccaO says

    What if my husband is not spiritual? He doesn’t have a strong relationship with God, but says he is a Christian. I recently found Christ myself, and feel that I don’t understand the scriptures enough to begin teaching and sharing with him. I have a deep desire to learn as much as I can, and am excited to begin the fall bible study. The more I read the more I realize my marriage could be in serious trouble if I don’t begin living a radical lifestyle. But if my husband doesn’t understand or realize why I’m changing my habits and attitude about things, how will he know to respect and honor me from a spiritual perspective. He’s not a bad man, but he’s not very open to reading or learning or understanding God’s word. I’m beginning to understand the importance of living as a Titus 2 wife, and I pray he will respect me and that I may be his introduction to Gods word.

  16. katie says

    I do not agree with quite a few things on this list. You do not need to be submissive to your husband. He needs to respect you. You are a human being, not just a wife or anything else. You are a human being. I personally am a feminist and I don’t think you understand what true feminism is. Feminism is wanting o be treated with the same respect men do. I have even come across male feminists. I have been told in church that if a girl is wearing something revealing it’s their fault if men try to do things to them. And that is not okay. It is never okay for anyone to touch you in any way without your consent. And by the way it doesn’t matter if you’re married or not if anyone, even your partner, tries to do”stuff” with you and you indicate in any way you are not okay with it and they continue, that is rape. I am sorry if I offended anyone but these are my beliefs and nothing you say to me will change that. Thank you.

    • katie says

      Also your blog looks very good and and some of the stuff I said in my comment don’t really apply directly to your piece, but to the religion as a whole. And honestly I don’t know much about your beliefs or your churches. I am, technically but not really, mormon. I am however very, very feminist. And I left out a bit of what feminism really is. Feminism, against what most people think of, is not women wanting to be men. The bra burnings are… honestly I don’t even know. But are not good for describing feminism. Feminism is women that want the same Respect as men have. We are aware that the male and female bodies have different parts connected to them, but that does not mean we should be treated differently. Do you think it was right for blacks to be treated differently? Of course you don’t! Well, some women are just sick and tired of being treated differently from men. And we need to get rid of that problem. I am currently a freshman and at school one day saw a guy with a shirt that said “nice story woman, now go make me a sandwich” and frankly I wanted to punch him in the face. I didn’t, but I wanted to. And honestly shirts like that are not okay. One day I want to be a person young girls can look at as a role model. Maybe I will be, but right now I’m just a nobody writing a comment on a someone else’s blog. And I’m sorry if I hurt anyone in any way with my posts, but please believe that you are more than what men tell you that you are. Sorry, I hope I made up for my last comment a little bit with this, and the fact that it is so long.:)

      • ally says

        Katie, well said! I am a feminist, but I am also not a man hater. I was raised by a single Dad who taught me that equality is important. I embrace the idea that men and women should work together as a team, sharing equal respect, and allowing each other to excel at the things they have strengths in. & I think God wants men and women to have equality and respect in a marriage relationship too.

  17. Brandi says

    I think the title of this blog should be Qualities that a Radical Young Wife should Pursue
    1 Corinthians 7:34 There is a difference between a wired and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.

    I think the scripture in Titus address young wives. I think it is important for women in general to take care of their homes, and self control is listed as a fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5, but I think this post is geared more towards young wives than it is young women.

    An unmarried woman’s concern should be being holy both in body and in spirit. A married woman’s concern is her husband. Just in general, I do not think it is good that unmarried women to become overly preoccupied with the issue being a good wife to a husband. Yes, there is a such thing as preparation, but I do not think that a single woman should overly preoccupy herself with that issue. Proverbs 18:24 says a man that finds a wife finds a good thing. Yes she should be Godly, and have healthy relationships, but a single woman’s eyes needs to be on Jesus.

  18. Brandi says

    I misspelled the word ‘wife’ in quoting 1 Corinthians 7:34.

    1 Corinthians 7:34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin, The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

  19. Sheri says

    What passage in the Bible says only women should cook, clean, and take care of household chores? Men are capable of learning these skills as well. Being a wife doesn’t equal being your husband’s maid. Too many ‘Christian women’ blogs have taken the passages you quoted extremely out of context. Being a Godly women has nothing to do with being a homemaker, which is usually how you make it out to be. Being a Godly women has everything to do with your walk with Jesus, not how well you can iron a shirt for your husband.

  20. says

    Sheri,

    You said: “Too many ‘Christian women’ blogs have taken the passages you quoted extremely out of context.”

    I’m curious to hear your definition of said passages. I haven’t seen any evidence of Courtney’s taken them out of context. If you assert she has, can you explain what they mean?

    I am lost at how you can conclude Courtney is suggesting one “can only be a woman of God if she is a homemaker” simply from her agreement with Scripture that caring for, loving and maintaining a home is important.

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